Is it possible to be

[Unveiled Artist]

Assume for your example you have a child who is murdered by said murderer. How would you feel towards the person who murdered your offspring?

As a person, morally, I wouldn't think of her or him as say a monster or anything about that murderer as a person.

My human instinct would, of course, side with flight/fight. It's all survival.

When we know we and our children are not in danger, we don't have to have negative thoughts of the murderer "as a person."

We can't control their behavior but we control ours. We don't need to hold negative thoughts against a person. It does more harm to you than them. I assume that's why there's the death penalty. All that aggression and trauma that the victim should be helped with is scapegoated onto their murderer as if that does anything intrinsic-wise.

Morally, I don't believe in negative thoughts about a person "as a person." My survival thoughts will do otherwise when it senses it's on danger. When it is not I can go back to my morals and blame the person for her behavior while maintaining no issues with him as a person.

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It's a natural survival response. Once you're not in danger and the trauma is felt with, there's no longer need to define people by their actions. Acknowledge the person as a person, blame their choice in behavior, move on.

For your wellbeing not theirs.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

In your own view, is it possible to be at peace with everyone?

Yes. It's possible to be at peace with them, depending somewhat on how you define 'peace'.

Is it even possible to never have a negative thought about others or once self?

I wouldn't have thought so.

If yes, how?
If no, why?

I have no real clue if other people's brains work in a similar fashion to mine, but I assume at least some do.
My brain is quite capable of holding multiple thoughts all at once, and whilst I can easily enough quieten it, it's not possible to live in a constant state of quiet like that.

So, if I'm making a big speech, my brain might worry about the consequences of a stuff up, whilst simultaneously running through how well I did last time I had a similar task. I might think about how nice the cheeseburger tastes whilst as the same time lamenting the impact of it on my general health.

 

[ChristineM]

As a person, morally, I wouldn't think of her or him as say a monster or anything about that murderer as a person.

My human instinct would, of course, side with flight/fight. It's all survival.

When we know we and our children are not in danger, we don't have to have negative thoughts of the murderer "as a person."

We can't control their behavior but we control ours. We don't need to hold negative thoughts against a person. It does more harm to you than them. I assume that's why there's the death penalty. All that aggression and trauma that the victim should be helped with is scapegoated onto their murderer as if that does anything intrinsic-wise.

Morally, I don't believe in negative thoughts about a person "as a person." My survival thoughts will do otherwise when it senses it's on danger. When it is not I can go back to my morals and blame the person for her behavior while maintaining no issues with him as a person.

-

It's a natural survival response. Once you're not in danger and the trauma is felt with, there's no longer need to define people by their actions. Acknowledge the person as a person, blame their choice in behavior, move on.

For your wellbeing not theirs.

I can't see that in the hypothetical i asked about. I have had similar but not as bad as murder, i know the guy(s) are bad ones, thats the guy, not their actions, the actions are the result of the persons mindset.

The guy manifests himself through his actions.

You would not blame a wall for builder. Why blame a murder for the murderer?

 

[Shakeel]

Yes, you may need to conflict with someone but it should come from a place of peace and love.

Like that's a thing.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I can't see that in the hypothetical i asked about. I have had similar but not as bad as murder, i know the guy(s) are bad ones, thats the guy, not their actions, the actions are the result of the persons mindset.

The guy manifests himself through his actions.

You would not blame a wall for builder. Why blame a murder for the murderer?

I see what you're saying.

I'm talking of dislike of someone not blaming them. We blame people for the consequence of their actions by, say, charging someone with a crime.

What I'm saying is in general I don't have an inherent dislike for people as human beings. Things like revenge (from gossip) to capitol punishment is just not my thing. People go to court because they are charged by their "actions." Even if their intent was good or not in a sound state of mind they still have some form of consequence for their actions.

It's all about actions. Trauma comes from what people do and/or say not because they are a person. We are charged by what we do and/or say not (hopefully) because we dislike a person.

I recognize if someone say hurt my child I'd have a natural ill response for that person but that's because I'm human-that's a natural fight response. Once it becomes my morals that's what I don't hold on to. I deal with my trauma, let the person deal with his consequence, years later I learn to let it be without holding a grudge-cause grudges only hurt me not that person.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I can't see that in the hypothetical i asked about. I have had similar but not as bad as murder, i know the guy(s) are bad ones, thats the guy, not their actions, the actions are the result of the persons mindset.

The guy manifests himself through his actions.

You would not blame a wall for builder. Why blame a murder for the murderer?

Morally, I can't hate a person for what they do just as I wouldn't hate myself if I did the same.

Human instinct, yes. Of course. They will also suffer consequence of their actions. They are to blame.

Things like capitol punishment I disagree because that takes human instinct out and makes it a moral thing....getting back at a person. I'm no longer a kid so it's never been my thing.

Excuse the analogy: let god handle it.

 

[amorphous_constellation]

In your own view, is it possible to be at peace with everyone?

Is it even possible to never have a negative thought about others or once self?

If yes, how?
If no, why?

To what degree do you , or can you , or should you separate yourself from others? If a person does this , would you agree that they are probably in a better position to do what you say? They are no longer entangled with other people , who they will conflict with. If you don't believe me, try to be-friend a naturally disagreeable person, because you see they have a 'better angel' within them , though it is very small. Try to establish trust with a family member who is mostly flawed, though there is still a little good left in them. You may come to appreciate distance

 

[ChristineM]

Morally, I can't hate a person for what they do just as I wouldn't hate myself if I did the same.

Human instinct, yes. Of course. They will also suffer consequence of their actions. They are to blame.

Things like capitol punishment I disagree because that takes human instinct out and makes it a moral thing....getting back at a person. I'm no longer a kid so it's never been my thing.

Excuse the analogy: let god handle it.

Which god?

 

[Windwalker]

Yes: by having no ethics or scruples whatsoever.

While ironically true, I don't think being a sociopath is exactly 'being at peace'. It's just more or less being numb.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Which god?

It's an analogy meaning let others deal with the consequence of their actions. "We can't control others." No need to hold dislike for the person after that trauma and safety is relieved unless that's your morals.

Don't let others behaviors define hour character.

 

[ChristineM]

It's an analogy meaning let others deal with the consequence of their actions. "We can't control others." No need to hold dislike for the person after that trauma and safety is relieved unless that's your morals.

I don't see what morality has to do with not loving a child murder.

As i said. You cannot blame a wall for the builder

 

[viole]

In your own view, is it possible to be at peace with everyone?

Is it even possible to never have a negative thought about others or once self?

If yes, how?
If no, why?

Yes, it is possible. But only if you are a psychopath.
I personally hold the view that some hating is healthy, or indicative of a healthy psyche.

Ciao

- viole

 

[Spirit of Light]

To what degree do you , or can you , or should you separate yourself from others? If a person does this , would you agree that they are probably in a better position to do what you say? They are no longer entangled with other people , who they will conflict with. If you don't believe me, try to be-friend a naturally disagreeable person, because you see they have a 'better angel' within them , though it is very small. Try to establish trust with a family member who is mostly flawed, though there is still a little good left in them. You may come to appreciate distance

I believe it is more easy for one who stay away from society to do what OP ask

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Sound like not accepting their action, but can you accept them as fellow human beings?

It depends what you mean by accept them as human beings. I believe that courtesy is something that can be lost. I will treat someone with the bare minimum of courtesy, or even none at all, if I find that they are disrespectful. As for whether or not I will actively provoke hate upon them, then no, that would be disrespect.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Yes, it is possible. But only if you are a psychopath.
I personally hold the view that some hating is healthy, or indicative of a healthy psyche.

Ciao

- viole

I can not say what you should have as your personal view But how can hate help at all?

 

[Spirit of Light]

It depends what you mean by accept them as human beings. I believe that courtesy is something that can be lost. I will treat someone with the bare minimum of courtesy, or even none at all, if I find that they are disrespectful. As for whether or not I will actively provoke hate upon them, then no, that would be disrespect.

To answer only how i think (other answers may be more correct to others)
In my understanding, if someone is disrespectful to me, it is their behaviour that is in lack of understanding, so in a way i should not personally take it to me, even yes i do that from time to time. But even if they provoke me i do not hate them

 

[RestlessSoul]

Depends what you mean with "at peace".
If you mean it literally, in the sense of leaving each other be instead of fighting - then yes.
If you mean it figuratively, in the sense of being "ok" with everyone - absolutely not.

My neighbour comes to mind. We don't speak. We leave eachother be.
I hate his guts though. He's a true disrespectful a-hole. So no, I wouldn't say that I am "at peace" with him.



No.



Because we are human.

Hating his guts almost certainly isn't good for yours.

 

[viole]

I can not say what you should have as your personal view But how can hate help at all?

If you had loved Hitler, you would still be under Nazi rule. For instance.

ciao

- viole

 

[Spirit of Light]

If you had loved Hitler, you would still be under Nazi rule. For instance.

ciao

- viole

I do not love harming others, or that people harming other living beings at all.
The love for humanity is for the human being, not for what they did or made other do (not loving their negative action) And since you mention Hitler, he was an evil being.

 

[viole]

I do not love harming others, or that people harming other living beings at all.
The love for humanity is for the human being, not for what they did or made other do (not loving their negative action) And since you mention Hitler, he was an evil being.

Yes, but that is a problem. We live in a world (which is mostly different from Scandinavia) in which your honorable attitude can be exploited to cause huge harm to innocents.

maybe it is sort of noble in Norway, or here in Sweden, but totally useless in places like Afghanistan and Syria. Where people have really no time to sit down on their chair, have their little barbecued moose, and meditate about the importance of loving each other.

Ciao

- viole