Is it strange to be asexual?

[morphesium]

I would like to first off ask if any of the RF members are asexual, or if they know someone whom is asexual.

Next I would like to ask for opinions on asexuality, take the title as your opening if you please.

I have, to my knowledge, always been asexual.
Despite this, I still have a girlfriend and partake in sexual relations.
There is no personal gain for me, I feel relatively nothing and gain relatively nothing.
It is to make her happy.

Have a nice time and make your partner happy. Sex won't give you "too much" - but then usually, it is a good time.
To love someone who loves you is one of the greatest blessings.

Asexuality has had various benefits and consequences for me.
Along with being virtually the only open atheist at my school, my asexuality gained me harsh treatment.
Girls were understanding of my situation, I was even allowed to use their restroom a few times to avoid bullying.

This causes me to wonder, are girls more capable of understanding at a younger age?

I am no expert in this. What I can say is " everyone "understand" something better than others". Your "understanding" and "thoughts" made you an atheist. Did these "understanding" girls turned out to be atheists? NO.
Atheist has a tendency to see and approach things "rationally". Myself being an atheist, I couldn't watch some XXX movies because for me it was just vulgar and not even concerned with sex, which my friends enjoyed watching. My rational mind questioned such acts about its "authenticity" which prevented me from accepting them as anything concerned with sex.

The first issue I had with being asexual happened during 9th grade.
I was at the point in my life where I was questioning myself on every front.
Only recently before being asked out had I heard the term "asexual", and began to identify as such.

So when I denied her, I explained the fact of my asexuality.
No more than a day later it was spread that "the atheist kid is also dick-less", or something of the sort.

Are you, or do know an asexual who was berated for their asexuality?

Lastly, as I know this OP is growing far to large,
Are asexuals rare?

Sexuals, asexuals, hypersexuals etc - these things are all relative.
I think its ones like you who keep a proper "innate" sexual understanding or has a proper sexual education in this regard. Get a girl who can love you and whom you can love - (the more intimate, the better) and have a nice time - a great time.

 

[Deathbydefault]

If someone chooses to identify themselves as being asexual (Or of any sexual orientation) who am I to argue with them?

I really don't understand why people are so interested or concerned about another persons sexual orientation.

Agreed.

 

[Deathbydefault]

Have a nice time and make your partner happy. Sex won't give you "too much" - but then usually, it is a good time.

To love someone who loves you is one of the greatest blessings.

I have never has sex, I realize my wording may have been confusing.
I keep my partner pleasured by other means/

I am no expert in this. What I can say is " everyone "understand" something better than others". Your "understanding" and "thoughts" made you an atheist. Did these "understanding" girls turned out to be atheists? NO.
Atheist has a tendency to see and approach things "rationally". Myself being an atheist, I couldn't watch some XXX movies because for me it was just vulgar and not even concerned with sex, which my friends enjoyed watching. My rational mind questioned such acts about its "authenticity" which prevented me from accepting them as anything concerned with sex.

That is an intriguing line of thought.

Sexuals, asexuals, hypersexuals etc - these things are all relative.
I think its ones like you who keep a proper "innate" sexual understanding or has a proper sexual education in this regard. Get a girl who can love you and whom you can love - (the more intimate, the better) and have a nice time - a great time.

Agreed, though love isn't exactly an option, nor ability of mine.
I understand your point, and have enjoyed reading your reply.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Asexuality is really something I don't claim to understand. I've known a person who claimed to be asexual but she was still banging away. She had a lot of issues, though, and I think she was probably molested as a kid which of course can really screw you up sexually.

I also kinda doubt that it's something that actually exists in humans. I'm not trying to be offensive, but it just doesn't make sense to me as humans are a sexually reproducing species. The only way I can understand it is in terms of low testosterone, issues of sexual abuse and psychiatric issues. :/

 

[Deathbydefault]

I also kinda doubt that it's something that actually exists in humans. I'm not trying to be offensive, but it just doesn't make sense to me as humans are a sexually reproducing species. The only way I can understand it is in terms of low testosterone, issues of sexual abuse and psychiatric issues. :/

No offense taken, skeptical thinking is to be expected.
Asexuality is something that is easily misunderstood, therefore I present you with this.

I might also point out that there are some, such as myself, whom can't have sex/masturbate without the attraction process.

 

[Skwim]

Most of the people I have met who claim to be asexual have really just been trying to come off as non-sexual women to go with society's standard on how sexually open women can be. I think asexuals do exist, and there is nothing "wrong" with them but I think the majority of people who claim to be asexual (especially online) aren't really asexual.

Statistically it is a bit odd, but I don't think there is anything strange about it. I remember hearing somewhere that it was 2% of the population, but that number seems a bit high to me.

"Asexuality (or nonsexuality) is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1% in the British population."
Source: Wikipedia

 

[dave_]

I think asexuality is linked with narcissism.Narcissistic people are not willing to give any love to anyone else except themselves.

 

[savagewind]

It might be evolutionary progress because the world is overpopulated.

 

[Deathbydefault]

I think asexuality is linked with narcissism.Narcissistic people are not willing to give any love to anyone else except themselves.

I do have bouts of narcissism, but those are in concern to my mental issues.
My sexuality is not linked to any form of self righteousness.

I can't get it up when my girlfriend is naked in front of me, that's not in any way linked to love.
Also, know no narcissist of such a caliber that they can only get it up for themselves.

 

[Parsimony]

One of my best friends is asexual. She has often questioned me about why anyone would ever want to have sex, as it is such a disgusting and alien concept to her. She literally cannot understand the idea of being sexually attracted to someone else. I've tried to explain it, but it seems like trying to explain sight to a blind person. That being said, I fully accept her asexuality and see no reason to belittle her for it.

 

[Smart_Guy]

No, it is not strange to be asexual. Right now I'm in a state of being asexual due to health reasons and I don't see a problem.

 

[whereismynotecard]

All these titles are so confusing. They seem to be around to help us all define ourselves, but I still cannot say with certainty if I fit the definition of "asexual" or not. I guess it doesn't really matter. It's only a word, but it makes me unable to answer your questions.

I do not want to have sex with anyone and I never have. *Could* I enjoy sex? Maybe. How would I know? I'm not going to do it, ever, because it sounds awful. Can you know if you're technically "asexual" if you haven't tried out any of the sex to know whether or not you're into it? Is just saying, "Nope. Looks terrible. Not doing it. Ever." enough or do I need to have the experience in order to decide?

And for that matter, does saying, "Johnny Depp is so lovely. I love him." mean I'm "sexually" attracted to him, even though if he were here right now and said, "would you like to have sex?" I would politely decline?

At the end of the day, "asexual" is just another label, so it doesn't matter if I fit the definition or not. All I know is that some people are pretty and I think they look nice, but I don't want to have sex with any of them, and they can keep their clothes on. It's their faces that are pretty, and often their hair too.

 

[Deathbydefault]

All these titles are so confusing. They seem to be around to help us all define ourselves, but I still cannot say with certainty if I fit the definition of "asexual" or not. I guess it doesn't really matter. It's only a word, but it makes me unable to answer your questions.

I do not want to have sex with anyone and I never have. *Could* I enjoy sex? Maybe. How would I know? I'm not going to do it, ever, because it sounds awful. Can you know if you're technically "asexual" if you haven't tried out any of the sex to know whether or not you're into it? Is just saying, "Nope. Looks terrible. Not doing it. Ever." enough or do I need to have the experience in order to decide?

And for that matter, does saying, "Johnny Depp is so lovely. I love him." mean I'm "sexually" attracted to him, even though if he were here right now and said, "would you like to have sex?" I would politely decline?

At the end of the day, "asexual" is just another label, so it doesn't matter if I fit the definition or not. All I know is that some people are pretty and I think they look nice, but I don't want to have sex with any of them, and they can keep their clothes on. It's their faces that are pretty, and often their hair too.

Labels are quite useful, and we apply under many whether we know it (like it) or not.

I would say this depends entirely on how you define asexuality.
I define it as not being sexually attracted to anything, that doesn't mean you couldn't enjoy sexual things, though.
You may define it another way, but so long as it fits the actual definition there are no issues.

I recall a term for your described sexuality, though it escaped me as soon as it came to me.
There is a man I met not too long ago who defined himself as having a high sex drive, but is unable to preform the act.
He said he was fine with foreplay and such, but actual sex disgusted him.
Perhaps a google search of key terms may help you find out?

 

[Noa]

Yes, I know some asexual folks. No, it is not strange. Yes, they have been acted towards with hostility because of it. It can be easier in large cities because there is a much higher likelihood that there will be local organizations, groups, or non-profits they can interact with that are understanding of it.

As far as I know, we do not have any reliable numbers as to the occurrence of asexuality. It has not been included in the large surveys that I have studied. Even if it were, there are probably a significant number of people who have not heard the term but would probably identify as such if they knew what it was.

But it is not strange, there is nothing wrong with it, and who you are is beautiful.