"Is Masturbation an Acceptable Component to Healthy Sexuality for Christians?" Two Views

[Skwim]

Dianna Anderson

Dianna Anderson is the author of the forthcoming
book, DAMAGED GOODS, out in Spring 2015
from Jericho Books. When she is not writing,
she is on the lookout for a new day job.

"Is masturbation an acceptable component to healthy sexuality?

Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Yes, absolutely. In fact, I might scratch "acceptable" from there and change it to "important."

Like sex itself, masturbation is sinful only insofar as you use it sinfully. And what counts as "sinfully" for one person may not be sinful for others. This, most of all, requires knowing and understanding yourself and what your limits are. If you don't feel comfortable masturbating because you feel like it takes you to a bad place where you objectify other people, then don't do it. We make mistakes in christendom when we assume that masturbation is problematic for some, so no one, ever, should do this private thing. That's a problem, because my lines about what is sinful are not your lines, and making you conform to my lines in something as intensely complicated as sexuality won't end well.

As far as it being a component of healthy sexuality, it can be a helpful tool for understanding yourself and what feels right and what doesn't before you ever enter into a sexual relationship. It can also make you more comfortable and more confident with your own body so that you are more comfortable when the time comes with a partner. Masturbation can be an important component of a healthy sexuality and can be an important part of a healthy sex life (if you're comfortable taking care of yourself, there's less pressure when you're with a partner). It can be misused and abused, like any good thing, certainly, but it can also be a great boon to understanding and becoming comfortable with yourself as well."
[This reply was edited for brevity]


Matthew Lee Anderson

Matthew Lee Anderson is the author of Earthen
Vessels: Why our Bodies Matter to our Faith and
The End of our Exploring:A Book about Questioning
and the Confidence of Faith.


"If our ethic is to be Christian, then it must be qualified by the cross and resurrection of Jesus. That is to say, the pattern for our lives and actions must be shaped by a love that treats pleasure as the (sometimes delayed) fruit of our sacrificial self-giving for others, rather than a good without qualification.

If we disconnect the experience of sexual pleasure from the moment of giving ourselves for another, to another in love, we fundamentally distort the meaning of the human body in its sexual dimension. In the auto-eroticism of masturbation, we pursue a particular sort of satisfaction or a particular experience of pleasure. But it is through the mutual self-giving in love that our humanity is established (whether in sex or beyond), rather than the abstract experience of pleasure or the fulfillment of a craving or felt need. However enjoyable it might be, masturbation fails to fulfill this form of human sexuality, and as such is corrosive to the integrity of our persons and our intimacy of the Spirit.
SOURCE

​

So, where do you stand? Is masturbation an acceptable component to healthy sexuality for Christians?

.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

I'd also add the question of how Christians feel about mutual masturbation. Sometimes you don't feel like dealing with the mess of coitus and it can feel very gratifying to both receive and show your partner you understand their needs in a more direct way. I can imagine some Christians agreeing and some believing that sex without coitus is too self-indulgent.

 

[bobhikes]

Dianna Anderson

Dianna Anderson is the author of the forthcoming
book, DAMAGED GOODS, out in Spring 2015
from Jericho Books. When she is not writing,
she is on the lookout for a new day job.

"Is masturbation an acceptable component to healthy sexuality?

Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Yes, absolutely. In fact, I might scratch "acceptable" from there and change it to "important."

Like sex itself, masturbation is sinful only insofar as you use it sinfully. And what counts as "sinfully" for one person may not be sinful for others. This, most of all, requires knowing and understanding yourself and what your limits are. If you don't feel comfortable masturbating because you feel like it takes you to a bad place where you objectify other people, then don't do it. We make mistakes in christendom when we assume that masturbation is problematic for some, so no one, ever, should do this private thing. That's a problem, because my lines about what is sinful are not your lines, and making you conform to my lines in something as intensely complicated as sexuality won't end well.

As far as it being a component of healthy sexuality, it can be a helpful tool for understanding yourself and what feels right and what doesn't before you ever enter into a sexual relationship. It can also make you more comfortable and more confident with your own body so that you are more comfortable when the time comes with a partner. Masturbation can be an important component of a healthy sexuality and can be an important part of a healthy sex life (if you're comfortable taking care of yourself, there's less pressure when you're with a partner). It can be misused and abused, like any good thing, certainly, but it can also be a great boon to understanding and becoming comfortable with yourself as well."
[This reply was edited for brevity]


Matthew Lee Anderson

Matthew Lee Anderson is the author of Earthen
Vessels: Why our Bodies Matter to our Faith and
The End of our Exploring:A Book about Questioning
and the Confidence of Faith.


"If our ethic is to be Christian, then it must be qualified by the cross and resurrection of Jesus. That is to say, the pattern for our lives and actions must be shaped by a love that treats pleasure as the (sometimes delayed) fruit of our sacrificial self-giving for others, rather than a good without qualification.

If we disconnect the experience of sexual pleasure from the moment of giving ourselves for another, to another in love, we fundamentally distort the meaning of the human body in its sexual dimension. In the auto-eroticism of masturbation, we pursue a particular sort of satisfaction or a particular experience of pleasure. But it is through the mutual self-giving in love that our humanity is established (whether in sex or beyond), rather than the abstract experience of pleasure or the fulfillment of a craving or felt need. However enjoyable it might be, masturbation fails to fulfill this form of human sexuality, and as such is corrosive to the integrity of our persons and our intimacy of the Spirit.
SOURCE

​

So, where do you stand? Is masturbation an acceptable component to healthy sexuality for Christians?

.

I find it interesting that the Woman says yes and the Man says no. Accordingly the Catholic church(Largest Christian organization) would agree with both. It is the wasting of semen that is the problem, in female masturbation there is no wasting. The ovum is not effected.

 

[VioletVortex]

Is it fun? Yes. Is it good? Yes. Is it necessary? No.

 

[Skwim]

I find it interesting that the Woman says yes and the Man says no. Accordingly the Catholic church(Largest Christian organization) would agree with both. It is the wasting of semen that is the problem, in female masturbation there is no wasting. The ovum is not effected.

So what's a guy supposed to do with all his extra semen? You do know that the sperm contingent does regenerate rather quickly. So quickly that a guy is fully recharged to go again in 2 to 3 days.

"When considering conception, it is also important to try to find the best sperm available to reach and fertilize the egg. In this effort, it is recommended that men abstain from ejaculating for 2 to 3 days."
source​

So if a guy isn't planning on procreating what does it matter if his sperm count isn't up to snuff? In fact, low sperm hardiness would help reduce the possibility of impregnation, something I would imagine those adhering to a religious ban on contraceptives might readily embrace.

.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I find it interesting that the Woman says yes and the Man says no. Accordingly the Catholic church(Largest Christian organization) would agree with both. It is the wasting of semen that is the problem, in female masturbation there is no wasting. The ovum is not effected.

The Catholic Church doesn't make a distinction for gender here, but that teaching obviously has a male bias in that it doesn't consider female sexuality or anatomy.

 

[bobhikes]

So what's a guy supposed to do with all his extra semen? You do know that the sperm contingent does regenerate rather quickly. So quickly that a guy is fully recharged to go again in 2 to 3 days.

"When considering conception, it is also important to try to find the best sperm available to reach and fertilize the egg. In this effort, it is recommended that men abstain from ejaculating for 2 to 3 days."
source​

So if a guy isn't planning on procreating what does it matter if his sperm count isn't up to snuff? In fact, low sperm hardiness would help reduce the possibility of impregnation, something I would imagine those adhering to a religious ban on contraceptives might readily embrace.

.

Don't know, but it is what the Catholics believe just pointing it out.

 

[bobhikes]

The Catholic Church doesn't make a distinction for gender here, but that teaching obviously has a male bias in that it doesn't consider female sexuality or anatomy.

The Catholic church has no rules about sex(per a priest in precana) other than It must be between a Married (Man and woman) and the seed of the man can only be deposited in the spouses vagina. You can have oral, or anal, or anything that gets you off as long as you complete the task in your spouses vagina . Purposely spilling or wasting the male seed is a sin, doing it not married is a sin and doing it not male to female is a sin.

I am assuming you are of course not forcing your spouse which could be a sin for other reasons.

 

[Skwim]

The Catholic church has no rules about sex(per a priest in precana) other than It must be between a Married (Man and woman) and the seed of the man can only be deposited in the spouses vagina. You can have oral, or anal, or anything that gets you off as long as you complete the task in your spouses vagina . Purposely spilling or wasting the male seed is a sin, doing it not married is a sin and doing it not male to female is a sin.

I am assuming you are of course not forcing your spouse which could be a sin for other reasons.

Curious as to the reasoning behind the Catholic church's prohibition of male masturbation. And, does the prohibition apply to females as well?

.

.

 

[bobhikes]

Curious as to the reasoning behind the Catholic church's prohibition of male masturbation. And, does the prohibition apply to females as well?

.

.

In thinking about it I believe purposely killing the ovum(like in certain birth controls) would be a sin. I am not sure about the work around for a vasectomy. Using a condom is a sin.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

For poop's sake, if "loss of semen" or waste of it is the problem -- then you're going to have to call boffing the wife once she's pregnant a sin, too!

Why does everybody get so bloody upset about sex, a perfectly natural function? Every single one of us uses a plenitude of our natural faculties for no other reason than pleasure. We listen to music (why should you, when you could be trying to hear God speak?) We look at art. We lick Pralines'n'Cream ice cream because it's delicious, even though we've just eaten and no longer need further nourishment. We read novels (how can they help, God didn't write them?), we watch TV (God certainly didn't invent that, and doesn't program the thing, either.)

But if it involves a PENIS, the religious mind just falls apart.

Astonishing.

Rather dumb, too, in my view.

 

[VioletVortex]

In thinking about it I believe purposely killing the ovum(like in certain birth controls) would be a sin. I am not sure about the work around for a vasectomy. Using a condom is a sin.

It's morally just for two irresponsible teenagers to **** without a condom, get pregnant, and leave the baby somewhere to die, but yeah, condoms are pretty sick.

 

[Ingledsva]

*

The Bible does not actually condemn masturbation.

I don't know where people come up with the idea of it being wrong, or a sin.

*

 

[Robert Vincelette]

Generalizing the definition of masturbation beyond exercising the sex organs, any superstitions about it must apply universally to all forms of masturbation: working out in the gym masturbating your muscles, most architecture that violates the principle that form follows function with functionless nested roof lines, fake window lattice, and window shutters that serve no purpose but to masturbate the optic nerve, sports that masturbate synthetic human drama, capitalism that profits solely by masturbating the economy by causing people to ejaculate their money on things they would not want if advertising had not synthesized desire and demand for the latest fashions.
True art makes love to its audience or cheap entertainment masturbates a part of the audience's mind and in some cases when a culture is shoved down our throats; e.g. a loud stereo in the apartment upstairs, it violates our boundaries the same way Donald Trump violated the boundaries of the many women whom he groped without their permission.

 

[trablano]

I'm not sure what to say, but I would begin with masturbation being something age-old and common to humans for as long as we've been here on Earth. I don't think it is really a sin of any importance, but it can be spiritually unhealthy. I am single and sometimes I masturbate but as I get older I find that I get nothing in return from it. Actually I feel icky afterwards and desire a shower and cleaning. I am not a sex-hater, neither am I impotent or frigid, but I have decided in this time to wait for a spouse and to resist the urge to masturbate now. I do this in the hope that when I find a romantic partner again things would be more sweet for me in bed if I do not masturbate. The pressure that is released in masturbation, I think, can be conserved as love energy when I come to have a body in my bed for good. And I hope that I can marry such a romantic partner, not because of regulations but because that's how it's supposed to be for a christian listening to God's will.

 

[BilliardsBall]

I'd also add the question of how Christians feel about mutual masturbation. Sometimes you don't feel like dealing with the mess of coitus and it can feel very gratifying to both receive and show your partner you understand their needs in a more direct way. I can imagine some Christians agreeing and some believing that sex without coitus is too self-indulgent.

If there is a partner involved, it's not masturbation, it's sex.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Curious as to the reasoning behind the Catholic church's prohibition of male masturbation. And, does the prohibition apply to females as well?

.

.

Yes, it applies to everyone. Oral and anal sex are viewed as sinful, too.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

It's morally just for two irresponsible teenagers to **** without a condom, get pregnant, and leave the baby somewhere to die, but yeah, condoms are pretty sick.

Condoms are "sick"? What?

 

[Skwim]

Came across the following from a Catholic website, BeginningCatholic.com, that explains the church's attitude toward masturbation.

I've posted selected comments here. For their full reasoning click on the source link below.

Straight Talk About The Catholic Teaching on Masturbation​

“Is masturbation wrong?”

Yes. The Catholic teaching on masturbation says that masturbation is always morally wrong.

Sex is intended to be both an expression of love for your spouse, and a beautiful means of procreation.

Sex is so special, powerful, and valuable that it is properly used only within marriage. If you’re not married, you should abstain from sexual activity.

Sex is the ultimate gift husbands and wives can give: a total gift of self, body and soul. Sex is how you fulfill your wedding vows to love totally, freely, and completely. As long as you both shall live. The secret of life is hidden in that intimate sharing.

The Catholic teaching on masturbation says that masturbation denies every aspect of that promise of sex — of that promise of your vows!

Masturbation is:

Focused on yourself
A withholding from your spouse
A statement that sex is only about pleasure — your own pleasure
Inherently sterile
Often accompanied by “adultery in your heart” through pornography and fantasy

Catholics don’t condemn masturbation just because of some lofty idea of what the natural purpose of sex is. We speak the truth about the harm it does to people.

That is the true reason for the Catholic teaching on masturbation: it denies the meaning of sex. It makes you less than fully human.

The Catholic teaching on masturbation says that masturbation is a grave sin, what we call a mortal sin, by which we reject God’s offer of life.



“Does the Catholic teaching on masturbation say we should repress our sexuality?”

There’s a difference between repression and self-control.

Repression means to “stuff” those feelings down when they arise, denying them and wishing they weren’t there.

Repression doesn’t work. Many people try this route and fail.

Self-control is different. You don’t deny the reality of your sexual drive, but seek to control it according to your will. That’s called being free! If you’re a slave to your urges (sexual or otherwise), you’re not free.

The key to this is to redeem our sexuality, not to repress it. Christopher West makes this point about the Catholic teaching on masturbation in Good News About Sex and Marriage:

When sexual feelings, desires, and temptations present themselves, as they inevitably do, instead of trying to ignore them or “stuff” them by pushing them down and under, we need to bring them up and out. Not up and out in the sense of indulging them, but up and out and into the hands of Christ our Redeemer. You might simply say a prayer such as this: _Lord Jesus, I give you my sexual desires. Please undo in me what sin has done so that I might know freedom in this area and experience sexual desire as you intend. Amen._ The more we invite Christ into our passions and desires and allow him to purify them, the more we find we’re able to exercise proper control of them. And we begin more and more to experience our sexuality, not as the desire for selfish gratification but as the desire to give ourselves away in imitation of Christ. This is what redemption is all about. (_Good News About Sex and Marriage_, p.81)​

source​

Did you get that? "Masturbation . . . makes you less than fully human."

Less than fully human?? Hell . . . .

"On average, 78 percent of all Americans age 14 and older say they have masturbated at some point in their lives, according to the NSSHB. When men in their 30s were asked whether they had masturbated alone at any point in their life, 93.4 percent said yes."

source​

Looks pretty darn human to me.
.

.​

 

[Skwim]

*
The Bible does not actually condemn masturbation.
I don't know where people come up with the idea of it being wrong, or a sin.
*

Religious hard-liners extend their denunciation of any non-procreative sex to cover masturbation. Some of what I've quoted below from Bible.org is quite silly, but not unexpected.

"The Bible no where specifically forbids or denounces masturbation. It does, of course, denounce all forms of sexual impurity and fantasies that would involve adulterous relationships whether actual or mental.

It does warn against all forms of self-indulgence, adultery of the mind, and fornication. One of the problems involved is that though God created sex for enjoyment and pleasure, it is to be confined to the marriage relationship because it is also designed to express love (not just sexual love), unity, and total commitment. Masturbation is an act of self-gratification rather than a part of giving gratification and pleasure to one’s partner. Here are a few of the dangers of masturbation that some have listed:

1. Psychic effects. Masturbation has a tendency to isolate its captives psychologically and socially. In masturbation, the person is focused on self-alone even though he or she usually is fantasizing about someone else at the same time.

2. Emotional deprivation. It is impossible for the one who is practicing this habit to experience the full extent of sex emotions. Therefore, in short-circuiting the emotions one can easily be removed from the world of reality.

3. Damaged sensibility. The habit of masturbation has a tendency in numbing the mechanism of the sexual organs if practiced excessively. This lessens the sensibility and thus detracts from normal sexual relations of married life.

4. Self-gratification. The emotional background of self-gratification is not the least bit healthy and usually militates against the home, wife and family because it is focused only on self.

5. Control of the mind. Along with the act of masturbation comes the fantasy of the mind. When practiced often, a pattern or cycle seems to become established within the individual’s mind. Thus, perversion has a tendency to control the mind and this in turn initiates the act. The real danger lies in the guilt that increases as the individual dwells in this world of fantasy."
source


​

Hmm, Seems to be unaware of mutual masturbation within marriage. Anyone surprised?

.