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Is Rape justified in a marriage?

Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
No one should be forced to play chess if they don't want to. However, if they're in a relationship with someone who loves to play chess, and they came into the relationship willing and eager to play chess with their partner, and they want to continue that relationship, they should not stop playing chess entirely. They should not change the rules of the game, begin to make fun of chess players, start avoiding chess, and they should not begin expressing disdain for chess to all their friends.

If they do, they shouldn't be surprised if their chess player gets frustrated, feels betrayed and disrespected, and expresses anger, sorrow, or a sense of betrayal. And they shouldn't be surprised if, after months or years of holding out on chess, their chess player starts looking for another playing partner.
 
Primordial Annihilator

Primordial Annihilator

Well-Known Member
Kathryn said:
No one should be forced to play chess if they don't want to. However, if they're in a relationship with someone who loves to play chess, and they came into the relationship willing and eager to play chess with their partner, and they want to continue that relationship, they should not stop playing chess entirely. They should not change the rules of the game, begin to make fun of chess players, start avoiding chess, and they should not begin expressing disdain for chess to all their friends.

If they do, they shouldn't be surprised if their chess player gets frustrated, feels betrayed and disrespected, and expresses anger, sorrow, or a sense of betrayal. And they shouldn't be surprised if, after months or years of holding out on chess, their chess player starts looking for another playing partner.
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I was caught playing Chess on the internet once...no Chess for weeks after that...:sad4:
 
Nerthus

Nerthus

Wanderlust
I don't think people should stop playing chess entirely either. Chess is a fun and healthy game to play. I do think that both people need to be in the mood to play chess though. In my opinion anyway. Everyone plays chess differently I suppose, there is no one right way. Internet chess however, can be a tricky one..
 
Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
There are many reasons why people play chess. Some of them are healthy and some are unhealthy. Unhealthy catches up with you.

Before you decide to enter a chess tournament with an avid chess player, you should determine whether or not you're as passionate about chess as the other person. You should be honest with yourself and with the other person - on the front end.

Some people just pretend they enjoy chess in order to reap the rewards of the tournament - when in reality they couldn't care less about chess. This can really come as a surprise to the avid chess player.
 
Nerthus

Nerthus

Wanderlust
Kathryn said:
Some people just pretend they enjoy chess in order to reap the rewards of the tournament - when in reality they couldn't care less about chess. This can really come as a surprise to the avid chess player.
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If there is one game of chess where you don't feel as passionate about the game as the other player, it should be understood. Sometimes it is best to stop the game until both players feel ready to play to their full potential. If it is a long tournament though, and one player is always saying they aren't on top of their game, then it might cause problems and you have to wonder why they entered the tournament in the first place.

Today, I really don't feel like playing chess. And, if someone comes and wants to play chess right now, I will have to postpone. Not forever; we will probably play chess tomorrow or in a couple of days. I want my game playing to be good, and any good chess player should appreciate and understand that.
 
DallasApple

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Kathryn said:
Wow, Dallas. I'm not trying to be insulting - I'm being serious. Do you think you need to go talk with a professional about some of this?

I AM married to a Christian man - and our relationship is NOTHING like what you're describing. You're getting your baggage all over my happiness. Please move it.

I'm not doubting that there are unhappy relationships like the one you're describing. But that's not what I was describing. I feel like you keep trying to make what I am describing into what you're so bitter about - and they are NOT the same thing.

I DO appreciate the fact that my handsome, considerate, passionate husband desires me. I'm honored to be his wife, and he's damn lucky to have me as his wife as well - and he knows it. What we enjoy is MUTUAL - not one sided like the scenario you're describing.

What I'm talking about only works when there is MUTUAL RESPECT. Sorry, but I thought that was pretty obvious.
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Why would I need to get HELP over the fact that many believe what I posted?Wouldnt THEY be they ones that need professional help?

And by the way I didnt feel like you were insulting me.Until you posted that maybe I need professional help.

And by the way Im happy that you are happy.And that ya'll share mutual respect.

Love

Dallas
 
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DallasApple

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
MissAlice said:
Ok well before anyone says it isn't, I was arguing with some people who in their religious belief believe that there is no such thing as rape in a marriage. In other words, if a woman decides to marry she must give up some of her "rights" and please her man. One woman told me that a man has needs and the purpose of a woman is to please those needs.

I know this sounds crazy but I was asked why it's rape and why it isn't justified in my point of view. Well for one, I don't think it's fair to the woman. I was raised in a society where men and women are equal in a relationship. However I'm not married, I was wondering what anyone else's point of view is when sex is forced upon a woman who is married to her husband.
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Also READ to OP Kathryn..Miss Alice said "I know this sounds crazy" but SHE was asked..this question.

Im sorry Im raining on your mutual respect happiness parade..But you would be very surprised maybe how maybe not the word "rape" comes in but many men and women who seem mentally stable otherwise have very close to similar views to what the OP is asking.

And it RARELY is about NEVER having sex or never wanting sex..Its over frequency.How often the one who wants it MORE is refused and offered "less"..Not enough "spice" not enough ..period.

I will be the first one to stand up and say that when you get married..and if you decide that you just dont like sex and NO causes other than "nah" I dont need that ..thats just who I am ..therefore Im never going to have sex with you that is grounds for divorce.Its a form of abandomnent IMHO.

Love

Dallas
 
Father Heathen

Father Heathen

Veteran Member
It's repulsive that anyone could think that rape is ever justifiable in any situation.

As for relationships, people should practice good taste, standards and judge of character before getting involved with someone to avoid those rather nasty situations, and relationships can turn sour quickly if they're not balanced with a sense of equality and mutual respect.
 
DallasApple

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Father Heathen said:
It's repulsive that anyone could think that rape is ever justifiable in any situation.

As for relationships, people should practice good taste, standards and judge of character before getting involved with someone to avoid those rather nasty situations, and relationships can turn sour quickly if they're not balanced with a sense of equality and mutual respect.
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Or coerced "consent" under threat.Not even bodily harm.

If thats what some people call "making love" its a contridiction in terms to me.

I dont understand to begin with how a man or a woman could even enjoy havign sex with someone who at the TIME that moment would rather not.And Im not talking just not "gung ho swinging off the ceiling fan".. Im talking tthat was "talked into it".And to avoid ANY negative reprecussions for refusing.

Its usually Im finding to ..about "frequency" ..And mostly for women (not to be strereotypical but its in the data)..ebbs and flows..in her natural libido..Including she is LESS likely to be interested if other things are not going right in the relationship..(and I dont mean he didnt me flowers)..

Love

Dallas
 
A

angrymoose

angrymoose
DallasApple said:
Or coerced "consent" under threat.Not even bodily harm.
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If its coerced, few people would call it consent?

DallasApple said:
If thats what some people call "making love" its a contridiction in terms to me.
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the rapest would call it making love but most people would call it rape.

I dont understand to begin with how a man or a woman could even enjoy havign sex with someone who at the TIME that moment would rather not.
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Depends. Some ppl enjoy controlling others, some peope enjoy hurting ppl and some people enjoy physical sex.

I'd assume most people prefer mutual sex but I've not done a survey on it.

And Im not talking just not "gung ho swinging off the ceiling fan".. Im talking tthat was "talked into it".And to avoid ANY negative reprecussions for refusing.
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Its gets grey once you go into enough of the grey I guess. Unsure. These negtive precussions might be pretty vaque?

Its usually Im finding to ..about "frequency" ..And mostly for women (not to be strereotypical but its in the data)..ebbs and flows..in her natural libido..Including she is LESS likely to be interested if other things are not going right in the relationship..(and I dont mean he didnt me flowers)..
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and for men it doesn't? :shrug:

Love Dallas
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:rainbow1:
 
DallasApple

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
angrymoose said:
If its coerced, few people would call it consent?



the rapest would call it making love but most people would call it rape.



Depends. Some ppl enjoy controlling others, some peope enjoy hurting ppl and some people enjoy physical sex.

I'd assume most people prefer mutual sex but I've not done a survey on it.



Its gets grey once you go into enough of the grey I guess. Unsure. These negtive precussions might be pretty vaque?



and for men it doesn't? :shrug:



:rainbow1:
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No Im not saying for men it doesnt..But "more men" on average can still have "happy sex" including more likley to think sex "fixes " the confilct and their "ebbs and flows..because of biological reasons are less "severe"..they are more "consistently" horny" LOL!!! For more years ..(in a row)..(on a more weekly as in many times a week) than a woman is ..

Im talking about "on average".

A woman typically is more likely to "have sex' for "him" when she really doesnt want to than he is..Because with her..she has an "innie"..She just has to "let him do it to her".He has an "outie" and if he is by chance having any "problem" it wont get Um whats the word?.. be "productive"...

Basically you cant slap some lube on a dude on his organ he is "functional".

There is a CLEAR difference..

Love Dallas
 
Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Is someone here saying it's OK to coerce or pressure anyone into having sex? If so, I missed that.
 
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