Is it something we should seek out at all?
Is too much of it a bad thing?
Is some amount good? (or even necessary?)
If so, then how much should we have? And how much is too much? And how do you figure that out?
Humans are unique to the animal kingdom in that we have two centers of consciousness; inner self and ego. These two centers are connected to the conscious mind and unconscious mind, respectively. Animals, have one center; inner self. They act on impulses through natural instinct firmware, connected to their inner self, with each animal true to its nature as a given species.
The inner self is the center of a species brain's natural DNA based operating system. We do not see lions pretending to be butterflies. Their inside and outside use the same inner self operating system; form and function. If a pet dog is goofy, he does not try to hide this behind a facade like humans may do; pretend to be debonaire. The dog only has an inner self; stays true to themselves; outside goofball and all that makes them dear. They are real and not behind an ego mask.
Humans are unique in that we have two centers. We have the inner self like the animal, but also an ego center which is connected to our conscious mind and is subject to will and choice. The inner defines us as a species; human nature. The secondary center or ego center, unique to humans, allows us to create an external mask or persona, that may or may not be the same person under the mask; actor. For example, we all have private things we do not share with strangers.These stay hidden behind a mask, so strangers are not aware. The ego center build this mask.
Humans via the two centers often have a level of connect and disconnect between the ego and inner self centers. These two centers will often overlap when spontaneous. They can also separate if we need to control unconscious impulses and pretend to be civilized. You may be among friends doing cut up comedy and say whatever comes to mind; spontaneously and funny together. Or you may be with strangers and want to say something spontaneous; internally, but you will use the ego to self censor to spare the unknown feelings of strangers. If we had no censor, the ego would be more of an extension of the inner self, like the animal; animal strength. But culture teaches us to build certain walls to strengthen the ego center, which has to make choices apart from the more spontaneous inner self.
For example, when guys and gals meet, the guy may feel immediate sexual attraction from the inner self. However, it would not be proper to start undressing and expect her to do the same, in the middle of the street; like two dogs. The ego will feel the inner self assessment of attraction and desire, but it is taught and knows it cannot just act on this impulse; immediately like a dog.
It will need to build an ego wall to control the immediate impulse, and pretend social protocol for the time being. This may involve allowing some spontaneous hustle talk to come to surface; prepared pick up lines, to betray your longer term interest. The gal may also feel the same way, even earlier, but she does not wish you think she is too easy, so she will put up a cool ego wall, so you cannot tell or accuse her; think less socially of her.This is a common example of the two centers, in both the male and female, working in both opposite and the same directions; inner self and ego self.
Self love is not one thing but two things due to two centers; inner self love and ego self love. Inner self love is about being true to our collective human propensities, that are common to all humans; natural instincts that makes us all part of the human species. This is good inner self love. It encompasses a love for humanity, by loving our own inner self. On the other hand, some will hate their inner self, since it is not perverted and will not take unnatural paths and chances; egocentric inhuman behavior.
Ego self love is often about the ego's learned social walls, created by culture and by the ego's adaption to the inner self, via social protocol and practical experiences. Ego self love can be positive if it is based on using the ego to adapt the inner self; human nature, to the social protocols, so both can be more or less optimized; best of both worlds. An optimized ego centric self love would find a way to complement both the inner self and culture. In the example above with attractive desire, the ego will not deny the desire, but choose to build up intimacy. This is acceptable to culture and also helps the inner self; complementary, since intimacy is also a part of human nature.
Alternately, a male might open his wallet and offer $100 to satisfy this inner self urge with his ego. This is not legal in all countries. It may work for both needs, but it is not be optimized for either; natural or social. The DNA based programs of the inner self knows sex is the carrot on the string, leading to procreation. Adult intimacy will be needed to optimize the subsequent caring of the resultant offspring; longer term goal. Cold business deals will often lead to damaged children, due to their neglect from lack of parental intimacy. The ego, by not understanding natural instinct, may not even know it is damaging the inner self coding, leading to bugs; escalation of the ego bizarre.
An analogy for this inner self coding, is you are on a carnival ride, where the ride spins you in circles, and then it lifts you into the air, before it descends. You only want to do the spin; carrot on the string, but not the lift; intimacy, so you try to get off the ride just before it lifts; stay cold blooded like business. Bugs appear in the operating system, since the ride is hardwired, and does not know your will to get off, so it does not stop before you try to exit. The damage is done via the repression of the lift cycle. Moral systems are about helping the ego stay in tune with the natural firmware of the inner self, while also allowing the ego to develop will and choices that help culture, ego, and the inner self.
