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Is self-pity required?
- Thread starter Willamena
- Start date
jacquie4000
Well-Known Member
I feel it is the most damaging human emotions of all. You are killing yourself emotionally.
Required to be.
jacquie4000
Well-Known Member
Exactly..Self pity for long periods of time is usually do to lact of self- forgiveness or not forgiving others so that you might move on.
doppelganger
Through the Looking Glass
Do you count constructing an image or avatar to act as an agent of your forgiveness as "self-forgiveness"?
Why is the one more essential than the other? Or as you worded it, one is and one isn't essential. Do we really have any say in what is and isn't essential?
Booko
Deviled Hen
Self-pity gets you stuck in life and is about as essential as shooting oneself in the foot just before starting a marathon.
Self-forgiveness just acknowledges that one has made a mistake, and then allows for moving on and not repeating the mistake again.
As for what is and isn't essential, I only speak according to the observations I've made in life thus far.
What is essence? What I'm getting at is, if essence is what we are, or what wells up from 'within' us, then isn't self-pity as much a part of us as self-forgivance? What makes the one more necessary (hint, value judgement)?
Jeremiah
Well-Known Member
If you feel sorrow for yourself than you are not satisfying your own needs and something inside you is trying to communicate that. When needs are left unattended they can become problematic. While I see nothing wrong in the feeling of dismay towards one's situation, overindulgence in your sorrow is unhealthy.
methylatedghosts
Can't brain. Has dumb.
Self pity might let you know that a little bit of self-forgiveness is in order?
YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
Although I agree with Booko for the most part, I am not particularly into denial, hence I am a bit more acerbic than most posters on RF. The simple fact is that you are right Willamena. Self-pity can be valuable if one LEARNS from the experience. If, as Booko stated, one gets fixated on self-pity then it is unlikely to be a "good" thing. Both are indeed relative value judgments.
This is part of the reason that I harp on the fact that there is no good or bad. Things just are what they are and there is little point in getting all huffy and emotional about things seemingly beyond our control. Even if one commits a horrendous act, if one learns from doing the act that that act is not an especially wise way to express oneself, then in the long run it cannot be deemed "wrong" or "bad"... at least not for that particular individual... even though we may recoil in horror. Everyone acts in a manner that is relative to their understanding, conditioning and intelligence level.
Likewise, giving in to self-pity can become a wellspring of renewed energy for the person experiencing it... if they manage to catch themselves before they plunge headlong into the abyss of delusion.
Ozzie
Well-Known Member
Well feelin' sorry for yourself is quite human and is required at times as a learning opportunity. Self-pity seems to be dragging the chain of feeling sorry for yourself too far though.
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
Once in awhile. Also, sometimes it is what will lead most to self-forgiving.
Terrywoodenpic
Oldest Heretic
A Nice difference.....
The trials of life can make you feel down for awhile.
It is only a problem when it takes on the aspect of self pity.
I had a Great Grandfather... whose favourite expression was "poor me."
He had a large farm in Norfolk, no mains services because he lived too far from anywhere.
But he was rich, comfortable and lived to a great age.
I think he took feeling sorry for him self, and made it into an art form.