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Its gardening time again

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
I've tried it. You just end up with uglier weeds.
The real trick is to plant veggies, & then viciously curse them for being weeds.
And then, to enhance the ruse, I spray them liberally (weeds are liberals) with
water, but tell them it's Round Up. Veggies thrive.
 

Kilgore Trout

Misanthropic Humanist
The real trick is to plant veggies, & then viciously curse them for being weeds.
And then, to enhance the ruse, I spray them liberally (weeds are liberals) with
water, but tell them it's Round Up. Veggies thrive.

I never realized there was so much deception and manipulation in gardening. It's kind of like politics. Then again, seeing as how most people involved with politics are essentially vegetables, this would seem to make a lot of sense.
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
I never realized there was so much deception and manipulation in gardening. It's kind of like politics. Then again, seeing as how most people involved with politics are essentially vegetables, this would seem to make a lot of sense.
It also helps to rudely grab a veggie by its petiole.
When you're a gardener, they let you do that.
 

ShivaFan

Satyameva Jayate
Premium Member
This isn't so much "gardening", but I grow wine grapes (Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, Mission, Zinfandel - I live in California don't you know) which the vines are so huge now they extend into my neighbors, and I have Peach Trees to attend to, Blood Orange trees and Limes, Pomegranate and I just planted pepper plants and your normal tomatoes, I have Tulsi, various herbs...

... usually I do squash and beans, cucumber & zucchini & probably will, but I think I might do something adventurous this summer - coffee! But really to grow coffee from "cherries" or beans, you start the process during the wet season and - yes - it takes about four years before you get your first harvest.

And the coffee shrub can grow 10 feet high!

You have to order the coffee "cherries" (there are two beans in one cherry) online to get the proper one's to plant.

So this is something that most would not want to get involded in. But I do grapes, so why not try coffee?

I once had a banana tree a few years back and it got pretty big, but then one day it actually blew down in a horrible winter storm and I felt really bad.

I used to do a lot of turnips and my turnip soup was famous but I haven't in a long time. And I would do corn, watermelon, pumpkin. I think I will do a watermelon again this year. There's nothing so satisfying as growing a watermelon, but watch out it doesn't grow on top of a wet spot or it will rot and ferment.

I love growing sunflower plants but watch out for rats.

I noted pomegranate. But where I live in California we have had an invasion of Leaffooted bugs which are horrible and attack the pomegranate and are very difficult to get rid of.

These things will land on your glass window at night and then tap, tap, tap with a hard beak and is the source of many a ghost story or frightful night to the unaware.

I hate tomato worms. Yuck!
 
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