It's hard to do what's right

[Ðanisty]

I don't really need any advice...just someone to listen and tell me it will be okay. My dog has had arthritis for at least a year now. It's getting really bad. Right now, I have to make a decision I don't want to make. Maybe she could be happy for a few more months or maybe not, but I don't want to put her through hubby being gone for basic training for 2 months and then move her to Alabama and possibly even then to Florida when it would just make her suffering even worse. It's time to make the decision now. There's no sense in turning her life upside-down. She wants to make me happy so she tries to hide the pain, but I can tell by the vacant and distant look in her eyes that she's really just wondering if this is all that's left for her. She limps every time she walks and some days she only gets up to find a more comfortable place to lay down. She snuggles with me and lets me pet her, but she's not responsive anymore...just melancholy. I've been struggling with this for months now and I keep putting it out of my mind, but I think I'm becoming selfish. I don't want to let her go.

 

[ayani]

Danisty... ***hugs***, dear. we had to do this for two of our dogs. it is not easy, D. let me tell you- your dog loves you. nothing will change that, nor will anything change your love for her. you do what you need to do, for the both of you. please, PM me if you like. i'm here, ok? :hug:

 

[Katzpur]

I don't really need any advice...just someone to listen and tell me it will be okay. My dog has had arthritis for at least a year now. It's getting really bad. Right now, I have to make a decision I don't want to make. Maybe she could be happy for a few more months or maybe not, but I don't want to put her through hubby being gone for basic training for 2 months and then move her to Alabama and possibly even then to Florida when it would just make her suffering even worse. It's time to make the decision now. There's no sense in turning her life upside-down. She wants to make me happy so she tries to hide the pain, but I can tell by the vacant and distant look in her eyes that she's really just wondering if this is all that's left for her. She limps every time she walks and some days she only gets up to find a more comfortable place to lay down. She snuggles with me and lets me pet her, but she's not responsive anymore...just melancholy. I've been struggling with this for months now and I keep putting it out of my mind, but I think I'm becoming selfish. I don't want to let her go.

Danisty, I'm so terribly, terribly sorry that you have to do this. It's the only thing about having a pet that makes you wonder if it's all been worth it. I know how hard this is. I have had to do it several times and it has been heart-wrenching. But you know that she looks to you to take care of her. She trusts you to do what's best for her, and if she could thank you for putting her happiness first, you know she would. I'm so terribly sorry that you have to go through this. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Willamena]

Very hard to do what's right. My sympathies are with you.

 

[Ðanisty]

One thing that scares me is that I have a feeling when I get to the vet's office to do this, they're going to try to talk me out of it. They'll want me to continue medicating her or to get her some kind of surgery. I can't help but think that's not what a dog really wants. Medication can only go so far and surgery would surely be very difficult for her. I just don't want to have to fight the vet over this because it's already stressful. My mom said she'd do it for me if I didn't think I could do it, but I just feel that she's my dog and it's my responsibility and I think in a weird way, my dog would want me to be the one to do this for her.

My parents agree that this is the right thing to do and I know my hubby agrees too even though we try not to talk about it. I think in the end when I look back, Valkyrie will stand out as the best dog I've ever had. I want her to have some dignity. I don't want her to worry about me worrying about her.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I'm sorry to hear this. I sympathise with you, and wish you and Valkyrie the best.

 

[zombieharlot]

I feel that you aren't really asking for advice or input, so I won't say much. Just want to say that I went through a similar situation with my last dog, so I can relate. Make the decision you feel most at peace with.

 

[Comprehend]

Danisty, I am very sorry. I was actually just talking to my wife yesterday about when my childhood dog had arthritis and had to be put down. It was terrible as a kid but I know it was the right thing to do. It is really tough on us but best for the dog, there is no reason to make them continue suffering with such pain.

I'm really sorry. I think it shows what a big heart you have to do this even when it hurts you so badly.

 

[Rough_ER]

I don't really need any advice...just someone to listen and tell me it will be okay. My dog has had arthritis for at least a year now. It's getting really bad. Right now, I have to make a decision I don't want to make. Maybe she could be happy for a few more months or maybe not, but I don't want to put her through hubby being gone for basic training for 2 months and then move her to Alabama and possibly even then to Florida when it would just make her suffering even worse. It's time to make the decision now. There's no sense in turning her life upside-down. She wants to make me happy so she tries to hide the pain, but I can tell by the vacant and distant look in her eyes that she's really just wondering if this is all that's left for her. She limps every time she walks and some days she only gets up to find a more comfortable place to lay down. She snuggles with me and lets me pet her, but she's not responsive anymore...just melancholy. I've been struggling with this for months now and I keep putting it out of my mind, but I think I'm becoming selfish. I don't want to let her go.

I understand exactly how you feel, my border collie (12 years old) is from a family with a history of arthritis. Now she is pretty bad but still seems happy to go on walks etc. I know you don't want advice but you might want to try a canine physiotherapist. Jessie has been going to one for 3 months now and I can really see the difference. I don't know what I will do when it gets really bad.

 

[PureX]

I'm sorry to hear of your having to deal with this. I've been there myself.

 

[Green Gaia]

 

[michel]

Leslie, I can - honestly - say "I have been there". In fact, I think I can claim to have been in a worse situation. We once had a Yorkshire terrier that was well past her "best" age; she had a bad heart, was nearly blind, had wrotten teeth...

What made the decision far worse was the emotional blackmail I was under; knowing that it was in the poor dog's best interests, I was "not allowed" to take her to the vet to have her put to sleep - by my wife and two sons. I understood them, they were in a highly emotional state and feeding on their own needs, rather than on the dog's.

To cut a long story short, I waited until all three were out of the house, drowned the dog (I just couldn't think of a better way of doing what I had to do), and told them, when they returned that she had died.

I have it on my conscience (and I can still feel the anguish in which I was when I killed her; I was crying my heart out at the time); I ncan tell you, it would have been far more "comfortable" to have taken her to a Vet for him to put her to sleep, but I cxouldn't , because of the family's wishes.

I still believe that I did the best thing under the circumstances, but I do have my doubts about the way I did it.

 

[Moni_Gail]

I'm so sorry Danisty. :hug:

 

[evearael]

I am so sorry for her suffering and yours on her behalf. I know that you will make the most compassionate choice for her.

 

[Ðanisty]

Leslie, I can - honestly - say "I have been there". In fact, I think I can claim to have been in a worse situation. We once had a Yorkshire terrier that was well past her "best" age; she had a bad heart, was nearly blind, had wrotten teeth...

What made the decision far worse was the emotional blackmail I was under; knowing that it was in the poor dog's best interests, I was "not allowed" to take her to the vet to have her put to sleep - by my wife and two sons. I understood them, they were in a highly emotional state and feeding on their own needs, rather than on the dog's.

To cut a long story short, I waited until all three were out of the house, drowned the dog (I just couldn't think of a better way of doing what I had to do), and told them, when they returned that she had died.

I have it on my conscience (and I can still feel the anguish in which I was when I killed her; I was crying my heart out at the time); I ncan tell you, it would have been far more "comfortable" to have taken her to a Vet for him to put her to sleep, but I cxouldn't , because of the family's wishes.

I still believe that I did the best thing under the circumstances, but I do have my doubts about the way I did it.

My husband's family once had a dog in a similar condition to the dog you had. My mother-in-law is a kleptomaniac among other things and had stolen a whole vial of anasthesia from the hospital. My husband knew about it and tried to overdose the poor dog. It didn't work and his father kept that dog around for another three years. I could never let things get that bad. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You did the best you could given the circumstances.

 

[jmaster78]

Danisty i'm really sorry and know how you feel, i've always had german shepherds which are prone to arthritis in their hind legs as most big dogs like yours are. it is a decision i have had to make a number of times. all i can say is i've never had a vet try to talk me out of it. most vets are in that line of work because they love animals first and the money aspect is irrelevant when they see an animal in pain.

 

[Hacker]

Oh Danisty, I'm so sorry you have go through this... positive thoughts your way!!

 

[Katzpur]

My mom said she'd do it for me if I didn't think I could do it, but I just feel that she's my dog and it's my responsibility and I think in a weird way, my dog would want me to be the one to do this for her.

You know what, I think she would want that and, as hard as I know it will be, I think that if you can do it, it will be easier on you in the long run than knowing you could have been with her but chose not to. I've had to put several pets to sleep in my lifetime and was there with all of them at the end. I'm going to have to try to find a post I wrote ages ago about my experience having to put my cat to sleep. In a strange sort of way, being with her brought me more peace and comfort than I could ever have anticipated.

 

[CelticRavenwolf]

I know how you feel. Next month will be the 2nd anniversary of my beloved dog's death. My decision came a little easier - my nearly 15 year old dog began seizing. I knew it was time. Rather than try to find medication to prolong the inevitable, I gave her what I consider to be one of the greatest gifts - freedom from pain and suffering. I felt the same way that you do - that asking her to stay would be selfish because I didn't want to miss her. She was the best dog I've ever had, and I'll never forget her.

When the time comes, you'll know. She'll tell you when she's had enough, when it's okay to let go. Just remember - soap is for the body, tears for the soul.

 

[Tigress]

I'm so sorry, Ðanisty. I remember when we found out that my kitty had lukemia and we had to have her put to sleep...it was heartbreaking. I still miss her very much, and regret not going with my dad to have it done, so go, be there with her, and know that she no longer has to suffer. :hug: