"It's right for me"

[Meow Mix]

Why do some people arrive at religions on the basis that it's "right for them?" This strikes me oddly as trying to make the universe fit a preconceived notion of what someone wants to be true rather than discovering the universe as it is (regardless of whether it fits the "bill" of what we want it to be).

For instance, I'm not an atheist because I "don't want" god(s) to exist. I think it would actually be pretty great to have that divine safety net and the ability to survive bodily death. Are you kidding me -- I can't think of many people who wouldn't want that. No, I'm an atheist because there simply isn't any justification to believe this or that religion that I've seen.

So what drives people to peruse religions like I would at a clothing store, picking out something that "fits" them? That's hardly anything that resembles a persuit of truth or deeper meaning in the universe in my opinion; it's a type of behavior that really baffles me.

Why is it also considered a virtue in many societies? We say things like "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What does that phrase even mean? Is it virtuous to pretend something about reality to feel better (this is a gross oversimplification but you get what I'm saying)?

What about hard, honest, open-ended searches for the truth -- keeping an open mind, but not so open that it falls out of your head? What about asking the tough questions like "What justification do I have for believing this to be true; even if I want it to be true, is there sufficient justification for me to believe it rationally?"

That's the sort of thing that I did when I slowly made my departure with Christianity in my early life. It isn't easy asking tough questions and especially to abandon beliefs that you really want to be true. But isn't it better to try to understand the universe as it really is than to just get lost in wishful thinking?

P.S. -- I'm of course not asserting that all religious beliefs are wishful thinking and that many proponents of many beliefs feel as though their beliefs are justified, though I myself have never seen real rational justifications for them. I'm more commenting on comments I've seen from people in the form of "It's right for me" and in polite responses such as "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What are the implications of those phrases? I don't think it's a pretty picture, epistemically...

 

[Revoltingest]

Why do some people arrive at religions on the basis that it's "right for them?" This strikes me oddly as trying to make the universe fit a preconceived notion of what someone wants to be true rather than discovering the universe as it is (regardless of whether it fits the "bill" of what we want it to be).

I know many believers who don't think their faith is absolutely true. They admit adopting what feels right.
I find this a most enlightened approach. (My approach is ignorance based.)

 

[ChristineES]

Just because something is "right for you" doesn't necessarily mean that every last thing about it fits. For instance, I stayed a Baptist for many years because I agreed with them with a lot of their interpretations; but I didn't 100% agree with them on everything. I doubt you could find 2 people who agree 100%. We just go with what fits our beliefs best- well, at least for me.

 

[Meow Mix]

Just because something is "right for you" doesn't necessarily mean that every last thing about it fits. For instance, I stayed a Baptist for many years because I agreed with them with a lot of their interpretations; but I didn't 100% agree with them on everything. I doubt you could find 2 people who agree 100%. We just go with what fits our beliefs best- well, at least for me.

I hear that. I grew up in a joined Baptist-Presbytarian church -- that was interesting, to say the least.

 

[Willamena]

I'm more commenting on comments I've seen from people in the form of "It's right for me" and in polite responses such as "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What are the implications of those phrases? I don't think it's a pretty picture, epistemically...

Why? (just curious about your last line)

The obvious implication to me is that they have no need to justify themselves to others.

 

[LuisDantas]

Why do some people arrive at religions on the basis that it's "right for them?" This strikes me oddly as trying to make the universe fit a preconceived notion of what someone wants to be true rather than discovering the universe as it is (regardless of whether it fits the "bill" of what we want it to be).

That is one of the differences between religion and science. Science is researching reality, religion is all about choosing what reality ought to be like, and even more about how we ought to feel about it.

For instance, I'm not an atheist because I "don't want" god(s) to exist. I think it would actually be pretty great to have that divine safety net and the ability to survive bodily death. Are you kidding me -- I can't think of many people who wouldn't want that.

There are some. I won't name any out of modesty. False modesty, of course.

No, I'm an atheist because there simply isn't any justification to believe this or that religion that I've seen.

Fair enough, although I want to point out that, mistaken aside, religion is not about being "true" but rather about inspiration and motivation.

So what drives people to peruse religions like I would at a clothing store, picking out something that "fits" them? That's hardly anything that resembles a persuit of truth or deeper meaning in the universe in my opinion; it's a type of behavior that really baffles me.

There is a subset of religion that unfortunately believes itself to be "seeking truth" (it isn't). But deeper meanings are indeed the goal of healthy religion. Nothing wrong with that - in fact, it is very much a need. And of course it must be pursued in ways that are compatible with the seeker.

Why is it also considered a virtue in many societies? We say things like "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What does that phrase even mean?

Often enough, that one is hopeful of not needed to deal with so many whines any longer. Sometimes also that there is hope of having more "safe" subject matter to talk about, or even that there is now a perspective of a better social life. An improved social life is in fact one of the more palpable benefits of religions. Nothing wrong with that, either, unless it leads one to be to artificial.

Is it virtuous to pretend something about reality to feel better (this is a gross oversimplification but you get what I'm saying)?

In and of itself, it certainly isn't. But once you consider the social consequences, it may well be a lesser evil at least.

What about hard, honest, open-ended searches for the truth -- keeping an open mind, but not so open that it falls out of your head? What about asking the tough questions like "What justification do I have for believing this to be true; even if I want it to be true, is there sufficient justification for me to believe it rationally?"

Everyone who is up to the task should of course embrace that attitude. Apparently many people aren't.

That's the sort of thing that I did when I slowly made my departure with Christianity in my early life. It isn't easy asking tough questions and especially to abandon beliefs that you really want to be true. But isn't it better to try to understand the universe as it really is than to just get lost in wishful thinking?

Sure. Although sometimes the price to be paid may be unacceptable, due to social circunstances that are in fact the real problem.

P.S. -- I'm of course not asserting that all religious beliefs are wishful thinking and that many proponents of many beliefs feel as though their beliefs are justified, though I myself have never seen real rational justifications for them.

It takes a very generous definition of rationality to make religious beliefs rational, anyway. Religion is not meant to be rational, only motivational. It is a mistake (albeit a popular one) to try and make it rational as well.

I'm more commenting on comments I've seen from people in the form of "It's right for me" and in polite responses such as "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What are the implications of those phrases? I don't think it's a pretty picture, epistemically...

It isn't, mainly because it spotlights how little people care about truth and also how much they generally feel insecure in the social, existential and moral senses.

 

[Penumbra]

Why do some people arrive at religions on the basis that it's "right for them?" This strikes me oddly as trying to make the universe fit a preconceived notion of what someone wants to be true rather than discovering the universe as it is (regardless of whether it fits the "bill" of what we want it to be).

For instance, I'm not an atheist because I "don't want" god(s) to exist. I think it would actually be pretty great to have that divine safety net and the ability to survive bodily death. Are you kidding me -- I can't think of many people who wouldn't want that. No, I'm an atheist because there simply isn't any justification to believe this or that religion that I've seen.

So what drives people to peruse religions like I would at a clothing store, picking out something that "fits" them? That's hardly anything that resembles a persuit of truth or deeper meaning in the universe in my opinion; it's a type of behavior that really baffles me.

Why is it also considered a virtue in many societies? We say things like "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What does that phrase even mean? Is it virtuous to pretend something about reality to feel better (this is a gross oversimplification but you get what I'm saying)?

What about hard, honest, open-ended searches for the truth -- keeping an open mind, but not so open that it falls out of your head? What about asking the tough questions like "What justification do I have for believing this to be true; even if I want it to be true, is there sufficient justification for me to believe it rationally?"

That's the sort of thing that I did when I slowly made my departure with Christianity in my early life. It isn't easy asking tough questions and especially to abandon beliefs that you really want to be true. But isn't it better to try to understand the universe as it really is than to just get lost in wishful thinking?

P.S. -- I'm of course not asserting that all religious beliefs are wishful thinking and that many proponents of many beliefs feel as though their beliefs are justified, though I myself have never seen real rational justifications for them. I'm more commenting on comments I've seen from people in the form of "It's right for me" and in polite responses such as "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What are the implications of those phrases? I don't think it's a pretty picture, epistemically...

I have found this mindset to be problematic and nonsensical, and so I find the OP relevant.

But I'd clarify that this is only problematic when the religion makes actual claims about the universe. In contrast, there are types of mindsets, lifestyles, and worldviews that could be considered religions that don't rely on making descriptive and supposedly objective claims about the way the universe operates. For these types of things, it makes sense for a person to pick something that fits them well. But for the first type, the type that actually attempts to describe reality, it's ignorant to follow what fits them instead of searching for actual truth.

Why? (just curious about your last line)

The obvious implication to me is that they have no need to justify themselves to others.

It's not so much their lack of wanting to justify what they believe to others. It's the mindset that they approach religion with. Instead of asking, "Which religion seems to be true?", the people that the OP talks about ask, "Which religion is right for me?"

 

[Kathryn]

I think sometimes you may hear those phrases from people who are simply trying to be polite and non confrontational. Believe it or not, not everyone likes to debate and discuss religious topics! (I know - amazing, right?) For some people, their religious beliefs are intensely personal and even very private, and so they use euphemisms to simply evade a topic they don't feel compelled to discuss with others.

Often they don't want to offend others either.

My point is, don't assume they haven't thought through their religious decisions and beliefs very thoroughly just because they don't share that thought process with you.

 

[LuisDantas]

I think sometimes you may hear those phrases from people who are simply trying to be polite and non confrontational. Believe it or not, not everyone likes to debate and discuss religious topics! (I know - amazing, right?)

So true. And so very frustrating.

 

[Ahanit]

It's right for me? Yes it is...

I have studied nature Science at university, where I found my basic of how the world works, I studied many religions and Magical pathes the last 20 years.

And 2 years ago I found a Path that has a similiar thinking than those I have found at univesity myself...

This path is in resonance with me, it is right for me.

I think this five words have an interesting second message: That it is right for me does not mean that it must also a right path for you. You have the right to choose as I have. We can talk about, we can discuss about, we can argue pro and contra. But that will not change the situation, that the path is right for me.

The question is, do you only want to discuss when you are able to change the opponent? I think that is the wonderful thing in a Forum like this, we do not try to change each other, we discuss without the wish to win souls.

If one will think deeper about, if one has not the strong knowledge that his path is right for him, he will follow, the one or the other. And the rest has fun with the exchange of opinions

:angel2:

 

[Atomist]

I always found "right for me" a nice maneuver to avoid questioning one's faith... I think I should take it up and say satanism is "right for me" to Christians... just to screw with them.

Not everyone wants to know the truth as the truth is scary... I mean just ask people "if you could know the day of your death and how you died would you?" I am shocked at how many would say no.

 

[ChristineES]

I always found "right for me" a nice maneuver to avoid questioning one's faith... I think I should take it up and say satanism is "right for me" to Christians... just to screw with them.

Not everyone wants to know the truth as the truth is scary... I mean just ask people "if you could know the day of your death and how you died would you?" I am shocked at how many would say no.

I personally wouldn't want to know the day of my death, since it would keep me from living the fullest towards the end of my life. :shout
And what about Hindus who say their religion is "right for them?"

 

[Ahanit]

I think it would be wonderful to know when I will die, I could plan my life and all what I want to reach before I die.

Normally it is so that you want to do, want to do, and than you think you have so much time left to do it. But when you know the Day of your Dead, you know how many time is left, to do all you ever wanted to do

 

[Wannabe Yogi]

Why do some people arrive at religions on the basis that it's "right for them?" This strikes me oddly as trying to make the universe fit a preconceived notion of what someone wants to be true rather than discovering the universe as it is (regardless of whether it fits the "bill" of what we want it to be).

I believe that my religious world view is accurate to the way the universe works as we understand it today.
I just don't see why I should make judgments on the beliefs of others as long as it is not harmful to the progress of the betterment of Humanity or the planet that we live on. Clearly the evolution of the caste system and the development of caste discrimination is hurtful to others so I reject it. The vegetarianism of my religion is both helpful to human and the world at large so I believe in it and try to live it. I view judging the beliefs of others has been a great cause of human suffering so I make an honest attempt at excluding that from my belief system.( this is an area I fail in) I feel that this world view is very healthy for me.

I view religion as more personal psychology then cosmology. For me it is a methodology for becoming a better human.

 

[Atomist]

I personally wouldn't want to know the day of my death, since it would keep me from living the fullest towards the end of my life. :shout

No... if you knew the second of your death it would allow you to live fullest towards the end of your life. To illustrate this, lets say you have 2 days to live... are you really going to work and save money for the future... or... or go doing all the stuff you've ever wanted to do.

And what about Hindus who say their religion is "right for them?"

Never heard it ;-)

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I too have wondered about that. Saying "it's right for me" is open for interpretation, and I feel alot of people who say that haven't realized the logical fault that if everyone picks the religion that is right for them then all religions are right or they are all wrong, they need religion in their life for whatever reason, or they don't want to justify why for some reason (which can be out of politeness, up to not wanting to face ridicule).

 

[yourhopeboundheart]

i'm not the first one to say it, but i definitely feel like there are different categories of "religious" belief. there are many viewpoints that can be considered religious without actually making claims about the natural world. these don't come into conflict with the pursuit of truth - they simply build on it. there are of course some religious ideas that strut around dressed as history, or dressed as science and it doesn't really take much to spot them. some people will choose to use these to justify their own tiny worldview (such as the narcissist who would subscribe to a racist belief, or the chauvinist who would subscribe to a misogynistic belief) and it's easy to avoid those people. if we exclude the religious viewpoints that make actual claims about the universe, then it's easier for everyone's religious/moral systems to be subjective and therefore more healthy.

and if i ever tell someone subscribing to a mainline religion "i'm glad you found something that works for you." i'm silently setting a clock in my head for how long it will take until that particular worldview does NOT work for them and they go back to the drawing board.

 

[LuisDantas]

I view judging the beliefs of others has been a great cause of human suffering so I make an honest attempt at excluding that from my belief system.( this is an area I fail in)

Really? Don't you think that more damage has been made by failing to judge beliefs?

Of course, judging beliefs implies being judged in return. I happen to feel that this is something to be pursued, not avoided.

 

[Breathe]

So what drives people to peruse religions like I would at a clothing store, picking out something that "fits" them?

Because some of us believe there is something out there, but attempting to find what it is can be a difficult thing to do.

That's hardly anything that resembles a persuit of truth or deeper meaning in the universe in my opinion;

Good for you.

We say things like "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What does that phrase even mean?

It means just that: I'm happy you've found something that works for you. Even if the religion is different to our own, if it makes the other person happy, that's what's important.

(this is a gross oversimplification but you get what I'm saying)?

:areyoucra I don't have a clue what you're on about here, no offence.

What about hard, honest, open-ended searches for the truth -- keeping an open mind, but not so open that it falls out of your head? What about asking the tough questions like "What justification do I have for believing this to be true; even if I want it to be true, is there sufficient justification for me to believe it rationally?"

What about it?

But isn't it better to try to understand the universe as it really is than to just get lost in wishful thinking?

That's what a large majority of seekers do. We don't go for wishful thinking, we go for what we think is true.

Saying that people get lost in wishful thinking and don't attempt to understand the universe is a gross misunderstanding and comes across as arrogant to me. That's what we try to do, you will find many people who come from one religion to seeking often wish they could believe their religion to save themselves from social alienation, but it doesn't often work out that way.

 

[Smoke]

Why do some people arrive at religions on the basis that it's "right for them?" This strikes me oddly as trying to make the universe fit a preconceived notion of what someone wants to be true rather than discovering the universe as it is (regardless of whether it fits the "bill" of what we want it to be).

I think picking a religion because it's right for you is the only sensible way to pick one. That's how you pick a spouse, a house, a dog, a vacation, or a bottle of wine; why should a religion be any different?

So what drives people to peruse religions like I would at a clothing store, picking out something that "fits" them? That's hardly anything that resembles a persuit of truth or deeper meaning in the universe in my opinion; it's a type of behavior that really baffles me.

<--snip-->

What about hard, honest, open-ended searches for the truth -- keeping an open mind, but not so open that it falls out of your head? What about asking the tough questions like "What justification do I have for believing this to be true; even if I want it to be true, is there sufficient justification for me to believe it rationally?"

For me it's not about belief and it's not about truth; at least, not about fact. I think it's best to avoid religions that try to tell you what you must believe, but those aren't the only religions out there.