Why do some people arrive at religions on the basis that it's "right for them?" This strikes me oddly as trying to make the universe fit a preconceived notion of what someone wants to be true rather than discovering the universe as it is (regardless of whether it fits the "bill" of what we want it to be).
For instance, I'm not an atheist because I "don't want" god(s) to exist. I think it would actually be pretty great to have that divine safety net and the ability to survive bodily death. Are you kidding me -- I can't think of many people who wouldn't want that. No, I'm an atheist because there simply isn't any justification to believe this or that religion that I've seen.
So what drives people to peruse religions like I would at a clothing store, picking out something that "fits" them? That's hardly anything that resembles a persuit of truth or deeper meaning in the universe in my opinion; it's a type of behavior that really baffles me.
Why is it also considered a virtue in many societies? We say things like "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What does that phrase even mean? Is it virtuous to pretend something about reality to feel better (this is a gross oversimplification but you get what I'm saying)?
What about hard, honest, open-ended searches for the truth -- keeping an open mind, but not so open that it falls out of your head? What about asking the tough questions like "What justification do I have for believing this to be true; even if I want it to be true, is there sufficient justification for me to believe it rationally?"
That's the sort of thing that I did when I slowly made my departure with Christianity in my early life. It isn't easy asking tough questions and especially to abandon beliefs that you really want to be true. But isn't it better to try to understand the universe as it really is than to just get lost in wishful thinking?
P.S. -- I'm of course not asserting that all religious beliefs are wishful thinking and that many proponents of many beliefs feel as though their beliefs are justified, though I myself have never seen real rational justifications for them. I'm more commenting on comments I've seen from people in the form of "It's right for me" and in polite responses such as "I'm glad you've found something that works for you." What are the implications of those phrases? I don't think it's a pretty picture, epistemically...
I would presume that when a person says their religion is "right for them," it's not merely a matter of aesthetics, like picking out the right pair of jeans. I would think that it means that the way in which this religion provides models and support for relating to God and to other people are compelling to them, and they are deeply compelled by the truths that religion has to offer, and how those truths are presented; that they either find the theologies of the religion compelling, or the flexibility in the religion to construct theology.
Religion is not merely a search for truths. All religions contain truths. All religions offer ways to relate to God and other people. But also nearly all represent strong communities, traditions, philosophies, and cultural elements. Therefore, it stands to reason that some ways will resonate more strongly with some people. It's about not only how you feel best able to relate to God and seek deeper meaning, but how you feel best supported in your daily life.
In that sense, the search for a religion that suits one is not analogous to going shopping, but to dating. One can approach shopping from a scientific perspective: rigorously compare prices, nutritional values, ignore brand names, and simply come up with the best, cheapest set of groceries to fit one's budget and time. But the same really can't be done with dating: it's too subjective, and too much a product of the emotions and not the head. Lots of people could be, on paper, apparently right for you; most have apparently the same positive qualities sought. Sometimes a person one dates can be apparently an ideal relationship candidate, and yet there is simply no chemistry. That's not a matter for intellectual reconsideration, it's just how one feels. Much the same is true for religion. Any of them have the potential to get you where you need to go, to seek deeper meaning, to relate to God, to be supported in your daily interactions with the rest of the world; but if there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry. If you're practicing a religion you don't love practicing, you're practicing the wrong religion for you.
We tell people who have settled on a religion that we're happy for them for the same kinds of reasons we congratulate people who get married. In theory, at least, they have made a choice that will not only aid them in relating to God and being moral people, but will also make them happier people.
