In my early twenties I got involved with United Pentecostal Church (UPC). I attended their religion services for about a year and a half and everything I did seem to turn into bandage from the way we wore our cloths to the doctrines that condemned anyone who did not believe the way they believe. I did not see this at first but it got so bad I lost the peace of God’s Spirit and replaced it with the bondage of this religious dogma. I had the baptism of the Spirit from an earlier group I was attending and I remember reaching out to God in a prayer revival at UPC and I felt no peace and peace seemed too far away where I could not touch it. So I left UPC, my state
Ahhh... a fellow former UPC'er! Not too many I've run into. I too was involved with them in my early 20's for a number of years. And believe me, every word you're saying here is exactly spot on.
What is ironic about them, is that on the one hand they are all about the ecstasy of religious experience, to a narcissistic fault, while at the next moment suppressing any sort of spiritual freedom and insight gained through such exposures. The open to the spiritual, and then they straight-jacket it, open to it, then straight-jacket it, again and again.
What's worse is that they called anything that arose in the heart that didn't square with their doctrines, those legitimate doubts that love itself raised within us, as the devil trying to steal this truth from you. So they literally are teaching people to "grieve the spirit", by calling it the devil.
The balance of what was in my heart finally tipped the scales to allow doubt its legitimate concern to be voiced, and I examined them honestly to myself and found them deeply, deeply flawed. Wrote my pastor a 66 page letter detailing all the reasons why I was leaving them, and surprise, surprise, he never responded to me.
So when you see me challenging legalism today, you understand the background and why it offers some true insight for me into how it negatively effects the spiritual life, and why I see it as against spirituality itself. It's one thing to criticize it from the outside, and entirely different to understand it from within it to speak against it.
In my experience I have learned what is written in the Bible always has a deeper meaning then what is written on the surface and is seen by most; especially when it comes to the parts where the damnation and condemnation.
I've come to see a remarkable phenomena. People see in the texts who they are psychologically and spiritually. Someone who is a dogmatic, fundamentalist, legalistic person psychologically will interpret the words as supporting and sanctioning their own views. Someone who is more mystical, will see the words having great mystical insight. The legalist cannot see that content because their minds and hearts do not know how to process, or even recognize such content. That content doesn't fit into the landscape of their mental objects that comprise reality for them.
This of course squares with research into how the mind works through pattern recognition. If a pattern we have not encountered previously enters into our field of vision, it takes on a different "approximate" shape and we see it as that shape. Whereas in reality, it isn't that at all! And so it is as we develop on a spiritual, and a mental level as well, we see the subtle differences, which in time become profound differences! So profoundly different, that the meanings become complete opposites.
This ties nicely to a quote I love from Ralph Waldo Emerson, "What we are, that only can we see". This was his observation before research into the brain sciences exposed this. And indeed it is true. The legalist sees Jesus as a warrior for truth, vanquishing his foes who don't follow their strict interprations of the law and sending them to a fiery hell, while rewarding them for their faithful service. As I read the same words, I understand something entirely different.
So can we say that there is an objective truth that will judge and condemn people who were "wrong", while rewarding those who were "right", when in reality people are simply not capable of seeing something while they are still at a particular stage of development? People assume incorrectly that once we are "adults" we have reached the end of our development. That is their key flaw in their understanding of the nature of truth to not recognize that. We can be an adult, and still "think as a child", to quote the Apostle Paul.