In order to be healthy and at peace, I must accept my homosexuality.
I agree with the idea you have presented here, but not necessary the vocabulary.
I would say, “In order to be healthy and at peace, I must accept my same-sex attraction.”
I and the leaders of the LDS Church tend not to label someone a “homosexual” simply based on the uncontrollable desires they may have. We would not consider a person who has never acted upon their same-sex attraction to be a “homosexual”.
We believe that a person must first accept the fact that they have weaknesses before they could ever hope to overcome them through the merits and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Acknowledging that we have weaknesses that we could never overcome or change on our own helps us develop the humility that is necessary for us to come to realize how much we need our Savior and Redeemer.
I sincerely and vehemently disagree with trying to change sexual orientation -- something that, in spite of what the religiously inclined believes, can not be done.
I agree with this to a point. However, I personally believe that nothing is impossible with God.
I also believe that it is not always His will for us to overcome certain weaknesses. For one reason or other, He wants us to struggle with certain weaknesses throughout our lives. Perhaps He does this because He wants us to learn or gain something through that struggle. I don’t know.
All that being said, I do believe that it is generally possible for us to strengthen our weaknesses or to gain control over them.
On the website
http://mormonsandgays.org/ there is a member of the Church named Ty who explains his struggles with same-sex attraction. I think you’d enjoy watching his video segment. Now, I am not sharing this to say that, “See! It’s possible!” I am not trying to say that. Even the videos of leaders of the Church on this site admit that not all stories are success stories.
I just feel that Ty’s approach to his situation was very healthy and appropriate and he found what he was looking for by relying on the Lord. He said in his video, “It was a slow process over several years. I don’t know that I ever really started to feel a sense of changing from homosexual to heterosexual as much as I just felt like the feelings didn’t have as much, they didn’t have any control or power, they didn’t have the pull in my life that they once had. I went from thinking I probably won’t marry in this life, and really believing that I probably wouldn’t, to feeling like I think I will marry in this life but it’ll be later rather than sooner, to thinking I will marry and it will be sooner rather than later, but this is over a process of like seven years. So this is a long time of just taking life a day at a time, staying close to the spirit, letting the Lord guide me as to that next step. So, I decided that I wanted to pray and ask God if marriage was in the cards for me. And I was okay with not receiving an answer but I thought the surest way to not receive an answer was to not ask. Shortly after I had this prayer, there was no immediate answer, I reconnected with my now wife.”
I will capitulate that behavior, all things being equal, is a choice. Thus, I can choose to remain celibate. I can not "choose" to change my attraction templates.
Yeah, I don’t think it is a choice either. That does not mean that it cannot be subject to change though. I believe that if you choose to live a Christ-centered life and try to do His will before your own, that with time your very nature can change and you would have no desire to do evil, but good continually.
It is the Lord Jesus Christ that can cause this change in us.
Sometimes, it seems that there is a fine line between "accepting" something and "embracing" something. I feel this is an important distinction for those gays who may be religiously inclined; as without this distinction, the religious shame and condemn others of like mind for no good reason.
It is sad but true. We are all guilty and we all are deserving of shame and condemnation, but we tend to single out those who struggle with same-sex attraction as if they have committed the unpardonable sin.
Feeling an attraction is not "embracing" that attraction; it is not "choosing" anything; it is not sinful. It is no more sinfull than being tempted with any other behavior that is opposed to your religion.
I and the leaders of the LDS Church agree with you.
Case studies strongly indicate that a homosexual trying to live as a heterosexual is damaging not only to the individual psychi, but to the well being of the other members in that household.
That’s true and I don’t think this situation should be handled that way.
Ty also said in his video, “If you take life a day at a time, continuing to seek and cultivate the spirit in your life, every blessing that can be had will be yours. Just trust. That’s what I did and at that point, I resolved myself that I was going to get my life back in order. And I was able to totally release myself from cultural expectation. Like from now on, I was doing this journey in the Church, but this was between me and God. No more pressure to get married, no more timetables, no more anything. No more programs, this or that therapy, it was me and God, taking this a day at a time. If it something works, great, if it doesn’t, great not a problem. I’m with God and that’s all that I need. But that was enough for me to be able to feel a real hope. And to feel a joy in Christ and to feel a joy in the gospel that I had lost years before. And also, the natural desire to want to have companionship. But at this point, I knew I didn’t need that more than I needed God. It was God first, that was second.”
I really encourage you to watch that video. It’s about ten minutes long and Ty covers a lot of the stuff we are talking about.
They are equated because they are inseparable. Sexual preferences can not be changed.
This may be where you and I deviate because I cannot equate, or judge, a person based on those unchangeable things. It’s like, I don’t equate a person to their race. A person’s race is a part of who they are but it does not make or break them. It does not define them.
The leaders of the LDS Church are always reminding us of our eternal characteristics, it is because it is those characteristics that
really define us, because many things in this life are temporary.
We are all children of God. We are all His sons and His daughters.
We tend to focus on that aspect of our eternal identity rather on those things we gained or developed in this life because those things may not always be a part of who we are.
It is for this and other reasons that we don’t like to label people “homosexual”.
Behavior can be chosen; all things being equal; but how we feel is certainly not a choice.
I agree, but I want to add that what we feel is subject to change though. As we go throughout our lives, we change and what we feel changes. It’s not as though we went out of our way to
chose those changes. We didn’t. It’s just through our growth and experience, we change and I know our feelings can change too with time.
I thought we had reached an understanding; had you said "Why are you equating an individual to their sexual behavior", then I would have no criticism. But you are specifying "preference"; "attraction"; something completely out of one's control.
Maybe I was being unclear. I think that we are what we do. If I embrace my same-sex attraction and become sexually active with those of the same sex, then I have become a “homosexual”. Just as if someone were to graduate from Law School and pass the Bar, they would become a lawyer.
I will not equate someone with their predisposed and uncontrollable desires and urges. I feel that that is morally wrong. Just because someone has a
desire to take something that does not belong to them, I would not equate that person with being a thief. I think we should only judge a person based on their actions.
This is why I won’t equate a person to their sexual preference. If they have a same-sex attraction, that does not make up who they are. They are not a homosexual until they embrace and act on that predisposed desire.
Even then, if someone were to steal, I would not think of them
only as a thief. It may be a part of who they are (or were) but it does not define them as a person.
Gays and LGBT supporters have always had an issue with those beleifs. The changes in our culture has finally permitted us to speak out against them. Objections to anti-gay beliefs is not new. Speaking out about them is all that is new.
I understand this, but I’m just confused on how anyone could be shocked or surprised by the appropriate actions taken by the leaders of the Church.
I would also not refer to our beliefs as “anti-gay”. We love everyone. Even homosexuals. And we want them to join us and worship the Lord Jesus Christ with us.
