joke

[zenzero]

IT PAYS TO BE SMART
​

Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars in London

Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Hamid only brings in £2 to £3 a day. He asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day..

Ahmed says, 'Look at your sign - it says, "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."
'Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money.

You will still have no job and a large family. Now look at my sign

So Hamid looks at Ahmed's sign which reads.
"I only need another £10 to go back to Pakistan!!!"

 

[whereismynotecard]

Ha ha!

 

[TurkeyOnRye]

IT PAYS TO BE SMART
​

Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars in London

Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Hamid only brings in £2 to £3 a day. He asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day..

Ahmed says, 'Look at your sign - it says, "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."
'Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money.

You will still have no job and a large family. Now look at my sign

So Hamid looks at Ahmed's sign which reads.
"I only need another £10 to go back to Pakistan!!!"

Ha ha ha! I like a good racist joke every now and then.

 

[methylatedghosts]

Terrible, Zen

THough - just shows how advertising works, huh?

 

[Elessar]

That's hilarious. Reminds me of another, related joke:

So two beggars in Dublin are sitting about two meters away from each other, both wearing raggedy clothes, their hair mussed, and looking rather decrepit. The one on the right side held up a wooden Star of David as he begged. The one on the left side is holding up a silver-painted crucifix as he begs.

Now, a rather egalitarian priest comes, and watches these beggars, across the street from his church, as they beg, for days and weeks. And while he watches the man on the right occasionally get a few cents, and, sometimes, a euro, the man on the left is regularly getting €2 coins and €5-€10 bills, often with a sneer at the man holding the Star of David.

After a few weeks, the priest crosses the street, and turns to the man with the Star of David, saying, "You know, this is a Christian country. If you at least did not hold up the Star of David, you would get more money. As long as you sit next to this Christian man, people will always give him more money, if only to spite your faith."

The man with the Star of David then turned to the man with the crucifix, saying, "Hey, Issy, look at this schmendrik who tries to teach the Feldstein brothers marketing!"

 

[whereismynotecard]

Ha ha.

 

[England my lionheart]

IT PAYS TO BE SMART​

Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars in London

Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Hamid only brings in £2 to £3 a day. He asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day..

Ahmed says, 'Look at your sign - it says, "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."
'Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money.

You will still have no job and a large family. Now look at my sign

So Hamid looks at Ahmed's sign which reads.
"I only need another £10 to go back to Pakistan!!!"

LOL Zen :clap

 

[Quagmire]

IT PAYS TO BE SMART
​

Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars in London

Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Hamid only brings in £2 to £3 a day. He asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day..

Ahmed says, 'Look at your sign - it says, "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support."
'Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished anything by giving you money.

You will still have no job and a large family. Now look at my sign

So Hamid looks at Ahmed's sign which reads.
"I only need another £10 to go back to Pakistan!!!"

There are churches and organizations where I live who wouldn't do much for their local homeless but would gladly give a gas voucher to someone who's passing through (apparently so they'll keep passing through). :yes:

Although this may just be a rumour grumbled by the local homeless.

 

[goodhunter819]

I Quote: Indians are particularly big on prayer and pray for almost everything and this is epically true of the plains Indians Tribal Fact Of Humour,
The whole tribe in the camp went to church for the first time and on hearing the sermon of how Jesus had died for their sins the whole tribe started to murmur with curious concern of who this Jesus fellow was who had died for them? the missionary then went on to explained that had returned from the grave being resurrected back to life, on hearing the last lesson of how Christ came back from the dead the whole tribe carried on murmuring saying oh! he is a medicine man how do we meet this Jesus Christ.
Another one of Indian humour, The tribal way after of main event of prayer was to put on a large feast so the whole tribe could eat when all the prayers are done, a missionary came to the camp and said there will be a lord’s supper at the church near the reservation camp and all were invited, the whole tribe turned up for this great feast, during the serving of communal lord’s supper which obviously consisted of bread & wine ‘ the tribal spokesman Henry Brown Bear jumped up and said ‘’ There isn’t enough to eat here, let’s go home and eat’’ Everyone got up and left that preacher stood there.
(1800s)

 

[goodhunter819]

BLISS IN SPIRITUAL POETIC JUSTICE

Poetic Justice twice fold, the same thing again, a local woman who spends all her time insulting me as did a previous woman who is African, the new woman from where I don’t know is now a hot word for me, now when she speaks the sound of her voice insulting me and the idea of her having a damp gusset really gets me sexually excited, so sexually that I have started having wet dreams about her when she shouts at me in my sleep, how’s that for poetic justice I wake up with a great big flag pole for her , a woman who spends most of her time insulting me sometime with homosexual slurs from a house adjoined back to back to mine is now a sexual turn on for me, ha freakin ha, you see what the unseen force did to her, now that is poetic justice, now if I could just get a make on her face it will really make the cheap thrill complete.