JW's please stay away

[Pegg]

Use to have JWs and Mormons visited me with some regularity. I hoped they would both show up at the same time. It never happened but I always had the popcorn ready.

funny that, i was door to door preaching one day and knocked on the door of mormon elders


They were friendly enought but unfortunately didnt want to discuss the bible

 

[Tarheeler]

The last missionary (I don't know if he was a Witness, Mormon, or other denomination) couldn't leave fast enough once he found out I was Jewish.

He knocked on the door and was looking at my mezuzah when I opened it. He looked at it and then my kippah, said "Pardon me", and tripped over his own feet running off the porch. Seemed awfully odd to me.

 

[Katzpur]

funny that, i was door to door preaching one day and knocked on the door of mormon elders


They were friendly enought but unfortunately didnt want to discuss the bible

I think that's probably because JWs just love to try to prove people wrong in their beliefs. That's not how it works for Mormons. The elders have been instructed not to get into arguments with people, but just to present their message. Inviting a JW in to "discuss the Bible" would have ended badly, and not because either side would have been able to declare victory. The elders obviously knew that a discussion with you would be a waste of time for all of you.

 

[Revoltingest]

So why do the JWs visit me, but never the Mormons?
Is there a division of territories?
Was it something I said?

 

[Sha'irullah]

Just do what I do, when they come knocking meet them outside the door. As they begin talking to you tell them you would like to pray for them and when they let you do so begint o say..........

"Oh Lord Satan, guide those who have strayed from your narrow path. Keep us away from the harms of Jesus and Allah and rain upon us your mercy and guidance so we may seek shelter from the agents of God. Lord Satan, blessed is your name and sacred is your abode of hell......"

Something to that effect will work wonders in keeping them away although you may find your local priest sprinkling holy water on your house every Sunday morning

 

[Father Heathen]

Reminds me of this story I shared a while back: http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/games-pics-jokes-stories/141033-my-brother-proselytizers.html

 

[Father Heathen]

So why do the JWs visit me, but never the Mormons?
Is there a division of territories?
Was it something I said?

Bitter territorial disputes between JWs and LDS can get violent.

 

[Revoltingest]

Bitter territorial disputes between JWs and LDS can get violent.

I'm not surprised. I once had some tenants who ran an ice cream truck business...you know...the trucks with the loud music, throngs of chubby children surrounding them. When they expanded their territory, they ran afoul of another frozen treat cartel, & it escalated to vehicular violence. No one can be more dangerous than nice old ladies dressed in their Sunday best, eh?

 

[ChristineES]

One time, a JW was at my house. I think I irritated her because I was using a different translation of the Bible and she kept repeating the quote in the New World Translation. Suffice it to say, she's never come back. I really don't mind talking to them, though. Sometimes I read the Watchtower or Awake! they give me.

 

[dgirl1986]

Part of their doctrine I believe.

 

[Skwim]

Some years ago two JWs came to the door and I told them that my listening fee was $50 an hour, which I thought was reasonable at the time (my price has since gone up). Evidently their minds were still stuck in some religious twilight of greed because one of them asked if I'd really pay $50 to listen to their message of Christ. When I explained what I had just said as simply as I could the hard of hearing guy replied with a small "oh," and they promptly left. It left a smile on my face.

 

[Katzpur]

Bitter territorial disputes between JWs and LDS can get violent.

LOL. That's utter nonsense.

 

[Vinayaka]

LOL. That's utter nonsense.

Bit it makes for cute imagery.

 

[arcanum]

Part of their doctrine I believe.

Which part?

 

[arcanum]

Where I believe there are a lot of nice JW's as people, they have all swallowed the red pill and only see the world through a JW lens.

 

[Pegg]

I think that's probably because JWs just love to try to prove people wrong in their beliefs. That's not how it works for Mormons. The elders have been instructed not to get into arguments with people, but just to present their message. Inviting a JW in to "discuss the Bible" would have ended badly, and not because either side would have been able to declare victory. The elders obviously knew that a discussion with you would be a waste of time for all of you.

we dont try to prove people wrong, we try to prove the bible right.

But you are absolutely right, we dont want to waste anyones time which is why we promptly leave when people say they are not interested.
If they are interested, we will give them plenty of time though

 

[Flankerl]

The last missionary (I don't know if he was a Witness, Mormon, or other denomination) couldn't leave fast enough once he found out I was Jewish.

He knocked on the door and was looking at my mezuzah when I opened it. He looked at it and then my kippah, said "Pardon me", and tripped over his own feet running off the porch. Seemed awfully odd to me.

lol

Here we only got JWs and they swarm to our home. At least 2 missionary groups in one month.


I dont have anything against them as people, but its incredibly annoying.

 

[oldbadger]

Out-takes....... at randon....
I did not answer the door even though they saw me sitting in the living room.
she couldn't read the 'No soliciting' sign.
I get a kick out of seeing them rushing down the driveway
Try answering the door naked.
If they would leave 50 bucks in the door
'Please, allow me to tell you about Lucifer, the Lord of Light'.
At Halloween I give them sweets and enjoy their confused expression.
couldn't leave fast enough once he found out I was Jewish.
say.........."Oh Lord Satan, guide those who have strayed
JWs and LDS can get violent.
my listening fee was $50 an hour
At least 2 missionary groups in one month......................... its incredibly annoying.

How do you guys cope with adverts on telly?

It's been great fun reading the above....... I see a good opportunity here for any qualified counsellors who need more work. They could (not only) advertise their services for incredibly annoyed, frustrated and hysterical people who have been exposed to ( ) evangelists on their doorsteps, but (also) for those badly affected by telly adverts, computer pop-ups,...... OMG! Pop-ups!!!...... there's the future, there it is...... !!! Evangelical Pop-ups

I love it!

You'll be on the old computer, buying underwear on ebay (or whatever) and the next thing......... all the pics and words will fall off the screen and there, right in front of your eyes, will be ...... a Missionary from 'whoever', come to save your misguided, sinful and lost souls...... you wicked lot... and you won't be able to get rid of him/her. You'll go into 'Restart' and there she'll be..... (I like the idea of a she trying to save my demented and wanton spirit (yes....:bow

And (if I've got a computer that hasn't been zapped) I can't wait to click on the thread.. 'What the frigging XXX is XXXX going XXX on!!!! Who are threse XXXXing agents from (wherever!!!???? I can't wait..

 

[savagewind]

we dont try to prove people wrong, we try to prove the bible right.

But you are absolutely right, we dont want to waste anyones time which is why we promptly leave when people say they are not interested.
If they are interested, we will give them plenty of time though

JWs try to prove the Bible right their way. The Bible does not need proving, does it? If it was really written by the influence of the Holy Spirit, then it is already proved, isn't it?

 

[Katzpur]

we dont try to prove people wrong, we try to prove the bible right.

Well, there would have been no point in talking to the Mormon missionaries then, would there? The Mormon missionaries would have already known the Bible was right and you would have had absolutely nothing to discuss.