Ladies on the forum, do you consider yourself to be a feminist?

[-Peacemaker-]

There are women and men who are much happier when SHE'S in charge, you know.

This brings up an interesting point regarding what women are looking for in a man. I believe all women deep down want a man who is able to put his foot down and say "uh, uh, ain't happening". It goes back to that whole discussion about women not being attracted to "nice guys". Deep down a woman may think that she's happier in the arrangement you're talking about but there's no way she can really respect her husband as a man.

 

[Riverwolf]

This brings up an interesting point regarding what women are looking for in a man. I believe all women deep down want a man who is able to put his foot down and say "uh, uh, ain't happening". It goes back to that whole discussion about women not being attracted to "nice guys". Deep down a woman may think that she's happier in the arrangement you're talking about but there's no way she can really respect her husband as a man.

And what's this belief based on? 'Cause my experience tells me otherwise.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

This brings up an interesting point regarding what women are looking for in a man. I believe all women deep down want a man who is able to put his foot down and say "uh, uh, ain't happening". It goes back to that whole discussion about women not being attracted to "nice guys". Deep down a woman may think that she's happier in the arrangement you're talking about but there's no way she can really respect her husband as a man.

Can't have it both ways, dear. You can't say that a dominant husband respects his submissive wife if she doesn't challenge him, and then on the other hand say that a dominant wife doesn't respect a submissive husband if he doesn't challenge her.

And....you don't know me very well, do you?

 

[-Peacemaker-]

And what's this belief based on? 'Cause my experience tells me otherwise.

Your experience tells you that some women are attracted to weak, gutless men?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Your experience tells you that some women are attracted to weak, gutless men?

Submission does not necessarily equate to being weak and gutless. In power-distinct relationships, subs get the final word and define all the boundaries.

 

[MoonWater]

For one thing, a ship needs one captain. Imagine a ship with two captains both equal in rank and with the same authority. It would be chaos and confusion once they butt heads and would divide the crew.

Well if you're so fond of analogies: Numerous businesses are run by partnerships between two or more people. In such a partnership each person may serve a different role(like one person focusing on finances and the other focusing on customer service) but legally each person holds equal ownership of the business and as such major decisions must be agreed upon by both parties. Some of these partnerships work out and some of them don't, just like marriages.

 

[Riverwolf]

Your experience tells you that some women are attracted to weak, gutless men?

Surely you've been on the internet long enough to know that the types of men (and sometimes women) women are attracted to are extremely varied.

Besides, strength can manifest in many ways. I, for one, am not so weak in my self-esteem that I need to dominate MoonWater in matters; rather, I'm wise enough to have given her final say over my spending problem. In other matters, we work together as a couple, having virtually no concept of authority in our relationship.

 

[Alceste]

This brings up an interesting point regarding what women are looking for in a man. I believe all women deep down want a man who is able to put his foot down and say "uh, uh, ain't happening". It goes back to that whole discussion about women not being attracted to "nice guys". Deep down a woman may think that she's happier in the arrangement you're talking about but there's no way she can really respect her husband as a man.

That is complete nonsense.

1) The guys who complain that women don't like nice guys are never nice. They are guys who assume that if they are friendly, respectful and kind to a woman she owes them sex. If she doesn't deliver, they feel ripped off and whine about it. Is that nice? No, it isn't.

2) I see my husband as a man all the more because he doesn't have childish, narcissistic expectations of what it means to be a husband. He's gentle, kind and a fantastic cook. I sent previous boyfriends who wanted my deference because of their genitals packing, because as far as I am concerned they were mentally ill. Life is too short to spend it patting little boys on the head, reassuring them that they're big boys, really.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Can't have it both ways, dear. You can't say that a dominant husband respects his submissive wife if she doesn't challenge him, and then on the other hand say that a dominant wife doesn't respect a submissive husband if he doesn't challenge her.

And....you don't know me very well, do you?

This come down to what submission actually looks like. I simply said I believe the man has the final say. That does not mean that the lady has to quietly take orders like some slave. Of course a women should be able to stand up to her man when she needs to. Think about the work place. When the boss is being an idiot and about to make a foolish decision, a subordinate is perfectly right to try to correct the error of his/her ways. It doesn't mean that the subordinate suddenly has an authority which supercedes her boss.

 

[Alceste]

Your experience tells you that some women are attracted to weak, gutless men?

Most women I know perceive bossy men as weak and cowardly, and egalitarian men as strong and confident.

 

[Debater Slayer]

For one thing, a ship needs one captain. Imagine a ship with two captains both equal in rank and with the same authority. It would be chaos and confusion once they butt heads and would divide the crew.

Would the "captain" necessarily have to be male though?

 

[MoonWater]

This brings up an interesting point regarding what women are looking for in a man. I believe all women deep down want a man who is able to put his foot down and say "uh, uh, ain't happening". It goes back to that whole discussion about women not being attracted to "nice guys". Deep down a woman may think that she's happier in the arrangement you're talking about but there's no way she can really respect her husband as a man.

:no: that is not the case at all and i resent the fact that you are trying to tell me what is in my subconscious when you don't even know me. I consider my partner a far better man precisely because he's a "nice guy" and being a "nice guy" in no way means he can't be assertive when he needs to be nor does that assertiveness mean he's got the final say. We are partners and when we disagree we compromise.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Most women I know perceive bossy men as weak and cowardly, and egalitarian men as strong and confident.

So most women you know haven't been brainwashed and cowed into subservience and submission? What a bunch of uppity, out-of-control harlots.

 

[Alceste]

So most women you know haven't been brainwashed and cowed into subservience and submission? What a bunch of uppity, out-of-control harlots.

Lol, I know, isn't it terrible? The very idea of taking a lengthy turn being the primary breadwinner so my husband could follow his lifelong dream of making awesome video games... I'm just impossible! I don't know how he puts up with me.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Well if you're so fond of analogies: Numerous businesses are run by partnerships between two or more people. In such a partnership each person may serve a different role(like one person focusing on finances and the other focusing on customer service) but legally each person holds equal ownership of the business and as such major decisions must be agreed upon by both parties. Some of these partnerships work out and some of them don't, just like marriages.

The analogy I was looking for was more of a military one

 

[MoonWater]

Your experience tells you that some women are attracted to weak, gutless men?

being a nice guy does not make a man weak and gutless.

 

[MoonWater]

The analogy I was looking for was more of a military one

why? Why would a military analogy be "more accurate" to a relationship than a business analogy?

 

[crossfire]

That is complete nonsense.

1) The guys who complain that women don't like nice guys are never nice. They are guys who assume that if they are friendly, respectful and kind to a woman she owes them sex. If she doesn't deliver, they feel ripped off and whine about it. Is that nice? No, it isn't.

Eww, stinky alpha male cads! Phew!

 

[crossfire]

The analogy I was looking for was more of a military one

Dancing is better than marching.

 

[crossfire]

So most women you know haven't been brainwashed and cowed into subservience and submission? What a bunch of uppity, out-of-control harlots.

Down boy....