liking/disliking vs. admiring/looking down

[Eddi]

There are two things that are different but that often get confused:

Whether you like or dislike a person

Whether you admire a person or look down on them

The two are quite different but are often confused for instance holding someone "in contempt" is a mixture of both, it is when you both dislike and look down on someone

You can:

1) Like and admire
2) Dislike and admire
3) Like and look down at
4) Dislike and look down at

I think someone needed to point this out

 

[JustGeorge]

I think it would be hard to genuinely like someone and look down at them at the same time. It would seem insincere.

 

[Eddi]

I think it would be hard to genuinely like someone and look down at them at the same time. It would seem insincere.

I think that is what happens when you know someone who is nice but a bit thick

 

[Soandso]

I think it would be hard to genuinely like someone and look down at them at the same time. It would seem insincere.

Eh, I dunno about that. People in positions of authority do it all the time. Think of a master/slave relationship, or when a CEO mingles with their workers

 

[JustGeorge]

I think that is what happens when you know someone who is nice but a bit thick

So what if they're thick? Doesn't mean thinking they're thick is looking down at them. Brain power is like any other skill... perhaps they don't run fast, or are a terrible cook?

Is it possible to look down at a person in one area, but not others?

Eh, I dunno about that. People in positions of authority do it all the time. Think of a master/slave relationship, or when a CEO mingles with their workers

Is that a genuine 'like', though?

Perhaps I simply have trouble relating to the mix...

 

[Eddi]

So what if they're thick? Doesn't mean thinking they're thick is looking down at them. Brain power is like any other skill... perhaps they don't run fast, or are a terrible cook?

Exactly, being a bit thick doesn't make someone a bad person and they can have good qualities whilst also being a bit thick, but being thick is something to look down on

Is it possible to look down at a person in one area, but not others?

Absolutely

 

[Soandso]

Is that a genuine 'like', though?

Perhaps I simply have trouble relating to the mix...

Yah, that's a good point... I've never been in a position of power so I can really only spitball from that perspective. I can't think of anyone I don't respect but genuinely like, but there are people I don't respect and can tolerate. Maybe it is impossible?

 

[JustGeorge]

Yah, that's a good point... I've never been in a position of power so I can really only spitball from that perspective. I can't think of anyone I don't respect but genuinely like, but there are people I don't respect and can tolerate. Maybe it is impossible?

Maybe its all a big mix...

 

[Soandso]

Exactly, being a bit thick doesn't make someone a bad person and they can have good qualities whilst also being a bit thick, but being thick is something to look down on

I can see that, but I have a hard time doing even that, honestly. We all have struggles in life. Who am I to judge someone for theirs? We all live our own lives within the context of our limitations. If I genuinely like someone, respect is part of that deal, and if I respect them I don't look down at them

 

[Eddi]

I can see that, but I have a hard time doing even that, honestly. We all have struggles in life. Who am I to judge someone for theirs? We all live our own lives within the context of our limitations. If I genuinely like someone, respect is part of that deal, and if I respect them I don't look down at them

Perhaps "respect" is a third dimension that works alongside the two I mentioned in the OP?

 

[JustGeorge]

Exactly, being a bit thick doesn't make someone a bad person and they can have good qualities whilst also being a bit thick, but being thick is something to look down on

Why should we look down on being thick?

 

[SalixIncendium]

I can't look down on many people I dislike, primarily because I'm 5'7". So I find myself still looking up to people I dislike.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

You can:

1) Like and admire
2) Dislike and admire
3) Like and look down at
4) Dislike and look down at

I think someone needed to point this out

The map is not the territory -- don't eat the menu.

(I thought someone needed to point this out.)

 

[SalixIncendium]

Exactly, being a bit thick doesn't make someone a bad person and they can have good qualities whilst also being a bit thick, but being thick is something to look down on

I think it's important to make a distinction between looking down on a characteristic and looking down on a person.

 

[Eddi]

Why should we look down on being thick?

Because it is negatively valued in a value judgement because it is an absence of a thing that is positively valued (in this case intelligence)

In one sense, if person A is more intelligent than person B then person A is more gifted than person B so is entitled to look down on them in that one respect

But it doesn't make them somehow superior

 

[Soandso]

Perhaps "respect" is a third dimension that works alongside the two I mentioned in the OP?

Maybe. I do associate admiration with respect and "looking down" with disrespect. That said, I don't always admire people I respect; at least, not any more than anyone else. We all have our strengths and weaknesses

 

[JustGeorge]

Because it is negatively valued in a value judgement because it is an absence of a thing that is positively valued (in this case intelligence)

In one sense, if person A is more intelligent than person B then person A is more gifted than person B so is entitled to look down on them in that one respect

But it doesn't make them somehow superior

In who's value judgement?

It was life changing for me when I did some self searching to identify what I actually wanted in a partner as opposed to what I thought I was supposed to want in a partner. Tall, dark and handsome replaced with 'young, dumb, and clumsy'.

And then I found what I was looking for!

I think there's a matter of personal taste in all of it. Some enjoy impulsive, risk seeking actions in their companions. Others would be driven insane by that. Someone might seek to hire hard workers, another quick thinkers.

There's a place for all of us! I'm not sure anyone's really superior/inferior, other than for certain roles.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I think it would be hard to genuinely like someone and look down at them at the same time. It would seem insincere.

It's built into a lot of classist, racist, and patriarchical systems. It's how someone in a position of power can have fond feelings for their wife or a favourite slave, but still see them as inferior.

I think this is what leads to some of the pushback and confusion from those in power when there's opposition to these systems. They can't see their actions as negative when they're flowing from an attitude of liking - while also disrespecting - the people they're oppressing.

 

[JustGeorge]

Maybe. I do associate admiration with respect and "looking down" with disrespect. That said, I don't always admire people I respect; at least, not any more than anyone else. We all have our strengths and weaknesses

I tend to admire traits and talents rather than people themselves. "I admire your capacity to handle difficult situations." "I admire your piano skills", etc, etc

 

[Eddi]

In who's value judgement?

In mine of course

Who else's?

I'm not sure anyone's really superior/inferior, other than for certain roles.

I agree

But to use a practical example, I can think of people on RF who say ignorant and stupid things but I don't dislike them personally and don't want them to die or anything like that