Living as a gay Hindu.

[StarryNightshade]

So, this is a topic that I've been wanting to discuss for quite a while. Primarily for 2 reasons:

1.) There seems to be a great misconception about homosexuality among Hindus (especially among Indians in general). While I have not seen anything negative said about LGBT from Hindus in this DIR, I have seen a handful of comments over the years which don't exactly paint gay people in the best light.

2.) The general confusion as to how, and why, a gay man would ever be religious.

When comes to the topic of my faith and my sexual orientation, most people express the following thoughts or concerns.

• How can you be gay and Hindu?

Simple: I'm a man with romantic, emotional, and (yes) sexual attractions to men. I also happen to be a western adoptee of Hinduism. I follow my faith to the best of my abilities (although I still do slip up and am no where near perfect in practice) and my attraction to men is such an intrinsic part of my being. I briefly toyed with the idea of being with a woman, but I couldn't go with it. There is nothing sinful, horrible, or "evil" about my attraction to men. As I have said, it's such an ingrained part of my overall being and I don't think I could change it even if I wanted to. Which brings me to the next point:

• What about your Brahmacharya?

Why is it that many people (Indian, western, or otherwise) think that being gay is only about physical intimacy? As a new initiate, I'm keeping to my stage as a Brahmacharya. I'm not having sex, I'm not in a relationship, and I'm dedicated to my religious studies. Even before I adopted Hinduism, I was living what could be considered a Brahmachari lifestyle. I only had physical intimacy with 2 people; one of whom was in the context of a 3.5 year relationship, while the other was with someone whom I thought a relationship would arise. As long as I could remember, the idea of sexual gradification for the sole purpose of doing so (such as one night stands) never appealed to me.

With that being said, while I'm currently living as a Brahmachari, and while I don't have sex outside of relationships (or possible relationships), I don't plan on staying celibate for the rest of my life. I do plan on finding a husband to settle down with later on down the road. At the ripe old age of 24, I eagerly await committing myself to a single person for, hopefully, the rest of my life. until then, I'll continue my dedication as a Brahmachari.

• Scriptures say...

This one makes me a little sad. As diverse and non-centralized as Hinduism is, so many Hindus have tried to use scriptures as means of suppressing those considered undesirable. As far as I can tell, Śruti say little to nothing on sexual orientation. From what people have tried to extrapolate from them, it seems that revealed texts are, at best, neutral to homosexuality. Neither condemning or condoning.

Smriti, on the other hand, is what people primarily try to use to say that homosexuality is an abomination within Hinduism (at least in my experience). Particularly Smriti regarding conduct and ritual. While I'm not an anthropologist and can't comment on the dates and authenticity of some Smriti, I will say that if it is true that homosexuality is prohibited as per learned scripture, then it is my karma to bear and what I will ultimately answer to. However, as a personal rule, I will go by what has been revealed by the Divine any day.

• Vedic marriage is not for you

Fair enough to this point. Marriage in Vedic times was, generally, very pro-family and between a man and woman. However, that's one of the joys of living in a secular country: having a civil marriage or secular arrangement.


I'm sorry if this was too drawn out or too long. It's just something that has been on my mind for a little while. With this past week not having been one of the better ones in my life, I just needed to get it off my chest. I understand that homosexuality is still a hot button issue, and may or may not ever be fully accepted by Indian society or Hindus at large, but that won't stop me from following my dharma and living out this life as I'm guided by the grace of God. We all have our lives to live and karmic debts to pay, and perhaps this just happens to be mine.

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

So, this is a topic that I've been wanting to discuss for quite a while. Primarily for 2 reasons:

1.) There seems to be a great misconception about homosexuality among Hindus (especially among Indians in general). While I have not seen anything negative said about LGBT from Hindus in this DIR, I have seen a handful of comments over the years which don't exactly paint gay people in the best light.

2.) The general confusion as to how, and why, a gay man would ever be religious.

When comes to the topic of my faith and my sexual orientation, most people express the following thoughts or concerns.

• How can you be gay and Hindu?

Simple: I'm a man with romantic, emotional, and (yes) sexual attractions to men. I also happen to be a western adoptee of Hinduism. I follow my faith to the best of my abilities (although I still do slip up and am no where near perfect in practice) and my attraction to men is such an intrinsic part of my being. I briefly toyed with the idea of being with a woman, but I couldn't go with it. There is nothing sinful, horrible, or "evil" about my attraction to men. As I have said, it's such an ingrained part of my overall being and I don't think I could change it even if I wanted to. Which brings me to the next point:

• What about your Brahmacharya?

Why is it that many people (Indian, western, or otherwise) think that being gay is only about physical intimacy? As a new initiate, I'm keeping to my stage as a Brahmacharya. I'm not having sex, I'm not in a relationship, and I'm dedicated to my religious studies. Even before I adopted Hinduism, I was living what could be considered a Brahmachari lifestyle. I only had physical intimacy with 2 people; one of whom was in the context of a 3.5 year relationship, while the other was with someone whom I thought a relationship would arise. As long as I could remember, the idea of sexual gradification for the sole purpose of doing so (such as one night stands) never appealed to me.

With that being said, while I'm currently living as a Brahmachari, and while I don't have sex outside of relationships (or possible relationships), I don't plan on staying celibate for the rest of my life. I do plan on finding a husband to settle down with later on down the road. At the ripe old age of 24, I eagerly await committing myself to a single person for, hopefully, the rest of my life. until then, I'll continue my dedication as a Brahmachari.

• Scriptures say...

This one makes me a little sad. As diverse and non-centralized as Hinduism is, so many Hindus have tried to use scriptures as means of suppressing those considered undesirable. As far as I can tell, Śruti say little to nothing on sexual orientation. From what people have tried to extrapolate from them, it seems that revealed texts are, at best, neutral to homosexuality. Neither condemning or condoning.

Smriti, on the other hand, is what people primarily try to use to say that homosexuality is an abomination within Hinduism (at least in my experience). Particularly Smriti regarding conduct and ritual. While I'm not an anthropologist and can't comment on the dates and authenticity of some Smriti, I will say that if it is true that homosexuality is prohibited as per learned scripture, then it is my karma to bear and what I will ultimately answer to. However, as a personal rule, I will go by what has been revealed by the Divine any day.

• Vedic marriage is not for you

Fair enough to this point. Marriage in Vedic times was, generally, very pro-family and between a man and woman. However, that's one of the joys of living in a secular country: having a civil marriage or secular arrangement.


I'm sorry if this was too drawn out or too long. It's just something that has been on my mind for a little while. With this past week not having been one of the better ones in my life, I just needed to get it off my chest. I understand that homosexuality is still a hot button issue, and may or may not ever be fully accepted by Indian society or Hindus at large, but that won't stop me from following my dharma and living out this life as I'm guided by the grace of God. We all have our lives to live and karmic debts to pay, and perhaps this just happens to be mine.

First, thank you for sharing your journey. I think it's important or people to realize that some people face challenges that other don't ever have to and maybe the rest of us should stop and try to, oh I don't know...empathize for a minute? To your second point about Brahmacharya - people who aren't familiar with gay individuals have this perception that homosexuality isn't an inherent quality but rather a "kink" - so people assume you're sex crazed and can't help yourself. My husband once admitted that in his college days gay men made him uncomfortable probably because he as worried about being hit on- even though the outcome to that was never going to be - "and then he's going to jump you in an alley way and violate you later".

As far as scriptures - whether smriti or shruti they come to us through the filter of flawed human beings with human failings. I know some people don't believe that, but that's my take on it. People reference scripture on all kinds of things they think are weird, unnatural or "icky" and my answer to them is, "grow up". It has nothing to do with them. Also, your meat suit is a meat suit, plain and simple. How is sexual orientation an affectation of the soul? Like you said, everything you do is between you and the divine. Other people with too much time on their hands who can't help but stick their nose in your business are not worth worrying about.

Also...since when is Vedic Marriage not for homosexuals? As far as forming a family are people aware of this cool new thing called adoption? or surrogacy? Yeah, the whole marriage is for making a family is bunk. You can make a family in many ways that don't involve binding yourself to someone you aren't actually attracted to. Also, to that end....

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THESE COUPLE'S? =)

 

[Chakra]

So, this is a topic that I've been wanting to discuss for quite a while. Primarily for 2 reasons:

1.) There seems to be a great misconception about homosexuality among Hindus (especially among Indians in general). While I have not seen anything negative said about LGBT from Hindus in this DIR, I have seen a handful of comments over the years which don't exactly paint gay people in the best light.

2.) The general confusion as to how, and why, a gay man would ever be religious.

When comes to the topic of my faith and my sexual orientation, most people express the following thoughts or concerns.

• How can you be gay and Hindu?

Simple: I'm a man with romantic, emotional, and (yes) sexual attractions to men. I also happen to be a western adoptee of Hinduism. I follow my faith to the best of my abilities (although I still do slip up and am no where near perfect in practice) and my attraction to men is such an intrinsic part of my being. I briefly toyed with the idea of being with a woman, but I couldn't go with it. There is nothing sinful, horrible, or "evil" about my attraction to men. As I have said, it's such an ingrained part of my overall being and I don't think I could change it even if I wanted to. Which brings me to the next point:

• What about your Brahmacharya?

Why is it that many people (Indian, western, or otherwise) think that being gay is only about physical intimacy? As a new initiate, I'm keeping to my stage as a Brahmacharya. I'm not having sex, I'm not in a relationship, and I'm dedicated to my religious studies. Even before I adopted Hinduism, I was living what could be considered a Brahmachari lifestyle. I only had physical intimacy with 2 people; one of whom was in the context of a 3.5 year relationship, while the other was with someone whom I thought a relationship would arise. As long as I could remember, the idea of sexual gradification for the sole purpose of doing so (such as one night stands) never appealed to me.

With that being said, while I'm currently living as a Brahmachari, and while I don't have sex outside of relationships (or possible relationships), I don't plan on staying celibate for the rest of my life. I do plan on finding a husband to settle down with later on down the road. At the ripe old age of 24, I eagerly await committing myself to a single person for, hopefully, the rest of my life. until then, I'll continue my dedication as a Brahmachari.

• Scriptures say...

This one makes me a little sad. As diverse and non-centralized as Hinduism is, so many Hindus have tried to use scriptures as means of suppressing those considered undesirable. As far as I can tell, Śruti say little to nothing on sexual orientation. From what people have tried to extrapolate from them, it seems that revealed texts are, at best, neutral to homosexuality. Neither condemning or condoning.

Smriti, on the other hand, is what people primarily try to use to say that homosexuality is an abomination within Hinduism (at least in my experience). Particularly Smriti regarding conduct and ritual. While I'm not an anthropologist and can't comment on the dates and authenticity of some Smriti, I will say that if it is true that homosexuality is prohibited as per learned scripture, then it is my karma to bear and what I will ultimately answer to. However, as a personal rule, I will go by what has been revealed by the Divine any day.

• Vedic marriage is not for you

Fair enough to this point. Marriage in Vedic times was, generally, very pro-family and between a man and woman. However, that's one of the joys of living in a secular country: having a civil marriage or secular arrangement.


I'm sorry if this was too drawn out or too long. It's just something that has been on my mind for a little while. With this past week not having been one of the better ones in my life, I just needed to get it off my chest. I understand that homosexuality is still a hot button issue, and may or may not ever be fully accepted by Indian society or Hindus at large, but that won't stop me from following my dharma and living out this life as I'm guided by the grace of God. We all have our lives to live and karmic debts to pay, and perhaps this just happens to be mine.

I feel that there is no real need to appeal to all Indians. Some Indians are prejudiced and racist, even against other Indians, so what to speak of a white male who is gay? Most Hindus are more superstitious than religious/spiritual, and some only claim to be Hindus without actually passionately believing in Hinduism's core doctrine. I won't go into more of this since I've made my views pretty clear here (What do you think is the problem with Hinduism? | ReligiousForums.com but suffice to say, don't worry too much about. As long as your gurus/tradition and your friends are supporting you, that's all that matters. In my opinion.

Regarding the scripture argument, there's an interesting story in Shri Vaishnavism about homosexuality that I think you'd be interested in. Quoting from where I got it from (another forum, you probably know which one it is)...

There is an anecdote connected with the sishya of srI vAnamAmalai jeeyar swami in the sri vaishnava tradition. His name was srI varadAchArya and lived in the 15th century. He was renowned for his discourses on the mahAbhArata. One day, his sishya approached him and asked him a question - "In this world, we see that a man is married to a woman. Do the dharma sAstras say that it is possible for a man to love a man?"

SrI varadAchArya replied - It is not uncommon. In the virAta parva, when the pandavas were in hiding during the last year of their exile, Draupadi served as a hand-maid. The mahAbhArata says that when Draupadi went to take a bath, the ladies who waited on her were so enamoured of her beauty that they wished they could be men so that they were eligible to love her. Hence, developing feelings for the same sex is possible.

 

[ratikala]

namaskaram Malola ji

Firstly before I even start to address any of these questions I have to say that it is brave of you to open such a presonal question up for discussion , ....and ask all to bear in mind that what ever I say I am not telling you what you should or should not do , nor am I in any way passing judgement , ....at the end of the day the descission is entirely yours , allthough I would strongly suggest discussing it with one of the more senior priests or Gurus within your tradition , maybe this is notnececary yet but prehaps towards the end of your Brahmachari period of renunciation , ...

and to be clear about this I mean a true sanyasi , some one in the senior renounced stage of life , ..not just someone who is presently living as a renunciate .

So, this is a topic that I've been wanting to discuss for quite a while. Primarily for 2 reasons:

1.) There seems to be a great misconception about homosexuality among Hindus (especially among Indians in general). While I have not seen anything negative said about LGBT from Hindus in this DIR, I have seen a handful of comments over the years which don't exactly paint gay people in the best light.

in my tradition I think it would be veiwed as something which may be permissable between Lay Hindus , but certainly not accepteble amongst Initiates , .....the general recomendation (despite the fact that many are unable to follow this) ...is that even married couples are not together to satisfy the sences in any way , but that they are together for the sole purpose of rearing a fammily and supporting each other through spiritual life , ...even the Idea of attraction whether it is to the opposite gender or to ones own is not realy how a true devotee should be thinking , ...the Ideal is that ones attraction should be for God , ....but this is a high Ideal that not all are capable of ataining , as attraction is a very natural emotion .

2.) The general confusion as to how, and why, a gay man would ever be religious.

the way I personaly would look at it is that we are all at different stages in attaining love of God , so it is natural that there should be a period (prehaps of many lifetimes) when one is torn between needing to follow the urge for human relationships , and the equaly natural urge to search for ones eternal relationship with the supreme , ...

if there is confusion then this is only due to the limited understanding of the ones observing the question .

When comes to the topic of my faith and my sexual orientation, most people express the following thoughts or concerns.

• How can you be gay and Hindu?

Simple: I'm a man with romantic, emotional, and (yes) sexual attractions to men. I also happen to be a western adoptee of Hinduism. I follow my faith to the best of my abilities (although I still do slip up and am no where near perfect in practice) and my attraction to men is such an intrinsic part of my being. I briefly toyed with the idea of being with a woman, but I couldn't go with it. There is nothing sinful, horrible, or "evil" about my attraction to men. As I have said, it's such an ingrained part of my overall being and I don't think I could change it even if I wanted to. Which brings me to the next point:

we all slip , ...or at least slip in the early stages of our practice , none of us are perfect and however advanced our practice is we could all find room for improvement , ...probably one of the best things you could do is to do as you are doing and accept who you are .

after all at the moment as a Brahmachari you are simply observing your natural inclinations at present you are not even acting out these thoughts , ...infact it is a good time for you to realy understand what attraction is , and that as a Brahmachari one is learning not to act on impulse , ...

as far as I am concerned there is nothing sinfull about having an inclination , the only time sin comes into it is when one acts out ones inclination in an inapropriate way .

• What about your Brahmacharya?

Why is it that many people (Indian, western, or otherwise) think that being gay is only about physical intimacy? As a new initiate, I'm keeping to my stage as a Brahmacharya. I'm not having sex, I'm not in a relationship, and I'm dedicated to my religious studies. Even before I adopted Hinduism, I was living what could be considered a Brahmachari lifestyle. I only had physical intimacy with 2 people; one of whom was in the context of a 3.5 year relationship, while the other was with someone whom I thought a relationship would arise. As long as I could remember, the idea of sexual gradification for the sole purpose of doing so (such as one night stands) never appealed to me.

To me If you are Brahamachari then it dosent matter if you are renoucing hetrosexual relationships or gay relationships , no one should be worring about this exept you and your Guru , ...

actualy it is rather telling of the entire of societies obsession with sex that they should allways think first of the sexual side to any relationship and actualy again it is none of their business , ....

I know that for me the most important part of a relationship is the affectionate support that is shared between two people , I know quite a few people who are Celibate within Marriage , these marriages are warm , affectionate , supportive and incredibly well ballanced , these are of course devotee marriages where both partners have strong spiritual focus , .... having that 'sugnificant other' can be extremely important in so many ways

With that being said, while I'm currently living as a Brahmachari, and while I don't have sex outside of relationships (or possible relationships), I don't plan on staying celibate for the rest of my life. I do plan on finding a husband to settle down with later on down the road. At the ripe old age of 24, I eagerly await committing myself to a single person for, hopefully, the rest of my life. until then, I'll continue my dedication as a Brahmachari.

many would take the attitude that we should be choosing between personal relationships and devotional life , ..but in truth that is not a stage in life that all are ready to take , ...there have been many problems with western devotees trying to force them selves into devotional life before they are ready , this has lead to a lot of deviant and damaging behavior , as far as I am concerned it is better to be honest and say I am not quite ready for that kind of full on devotional life , ...but that cant proclude you from being Hindu in your beliefs or spiritual affiliations .

• Scriptures say...

This one makes me a little sad. As diverse and non-centralized as Hinduism is, so many Hindus have tried to use scriptures as means of suppressing those considered undesirable. As far as I can tell, Śruti say little to nothing on sexual orientation. From what people have tried to extrapolate from them, it seems that revealed texts are, at best, neutral to homosexuality. Neither condemning or condoning.

Smriti, on the other hand, is what people primarily try to use to say that homosexuality is an abomination within Hinduism (at least in my experience). Particularly Smriti regarding conduct and ritual. While I'm not an anthropologist and can't comment on the dates and authenticity of some Smriti, I will say that if it is true that homosexuality is prohibited as per learned scripture, then it is my karma to bear and what I will ultimately answer to. However, as a personal rule, I will go by what has been revealed by the Divine any day.

it is the lust that is the abomination , ...whether it is gay or straight , ...If any one levels this ''abomination '' argument at another they must be completly free from lust themselves , otherwise they are no more than Hypocrytes , ....

the problem is that all devotees should realy be aiming at lustlessness and to be honnest how many can truely attain this , often it only comes in later life , if it comes at all in this lifetime , ...it is only a rare person that acheives this at all .

• Vedic marriage is not for you

Fair enough to this point. Marriage in Vedic times was, generally, very pro-family and between a man and woman. However, that's one of the joys of living in a secular country: having a civil marriage or secular arrangement.

personaly I would rather see you in a commited and honest relationship where both parties vow to support and care for one another in the same way a man and woman would , if I weigh it up I would rather see two men commit in the same way after all the vows them selves are not just for the creation of a family but also for spiritual support and physical protction of each other as a couple , ....

It's just something that has been on my mind for a little while. With this past week not having been one of the better ones in my life, I just needed to get it off my chest. I understand that homosexuality is still a hot button issue, and may or may not ever be fully accepted by Indian society or Hindus at large, but that won't stop me from following my dharma and living out this life as I'm guided by the grace of God. We all have our lives to live and karmic debts to pay, and perhaps this just happens to be mine.

Hmmm on the subject of Karma , ..who knows who or what we were in previous lives and how we are continuing that debt in this life , ....but yes by the grace of God I hope you will work this one out well in this lifetime , ...

the only thing I could say that may well be totaly missunderstood by some , ...and that is that this gender thing is only a temporary atribute , it is something that accompanies the material body , ....once we begin to realy develop spiritualy gender becomes quite un important , .....we realy shouldnt get so hung up on it in the way that we do .

physicality , sexuality , gender , ..these are all things that evenualy we will trancend , ....

P.S. no need for sorrys about length of post , ..this is an important issue .

 

[ratikala]

namaskaram Axlyz ji

I feel that there is no real need to appeal to all Indians.

jai jai , ...it would be an impossibility

Most Hindus are more superstitious than religious/spiritual, and some only claim to be Hindus without actually passionately believing in Hinduism's core doctrine.

I'm glad you said that , ...rather than me , ....but I canot help but agree , ...

don't worry too much about. As long as your gurus/tradition and your friends are supporting you, that's all that matters. In my opinion.

jai jai , ...

Regarding the scripture argument, there's an interesting story in Shri Vaishnavism about homosexuality that I think you'd be interested in. Quoting from where I got it from (another forum, you probably know which one it is)...

jai jai , this is beautifull , it also illustrates that love is so much more than sexuality , ....

and have you ever herd it said that next to Krsna we are all female/ feminine , that he is the only true embodiment of masculinity ?

yet as Sri Krsna Chaitanya , ...he appears in the mood of Srimati Radharani in order to understand her love for him .

 

[Kalibhakta]

Homosexuality is as natural in Hinduism as any other monogamous relationship. Did you know that there is a goddess for Transsexual men?

Mother Bahuchara rides on a rooster and is the protector of gay men and transsexuals. She demands vegetarianism, a rarity for Shaktis, because gay men are so downtrodden in the world, that we should give mercy that we expect from others to all living beings.

Lord Krishna incarnated as a woman for one of his devotees who later died for him in battle because he did not want to die heirless, and I think when was a Gopi he might have done the same for one of the villagers.

Lord Rama, upon telling that "all men and women can go home now" after reassuring his people that he would be back safely when he went to save Mother Sita. When he came home after saving her, he saw the Hirjas *Transsexual third gender men* still waiting for him. Touched by their devotion, he blessed them.

Lord Shiva has a form where he and Mother Parvati are fused into a a being which is split down the middle as both of them, and that form is yet another protector of homosexuals along with the man Lord Krishna blessed and Mother Bahuchara.

I am not of the mindset that Lust is itinerantly wrong, but like all attachments, it needs to be strictly subordinated to a proper level and put in it's place as a healthy, balanced part of ones life, along with things like food and drink. Abstaining is ideal, of course, but for us humans are so...mortal, a healthy middle way between hedonism and total abstinence is best. You must ride the horse, you must not let it go unbound.

For the record I am a bisexual in a happy, monogamous relationship.

 

[Chakra]

namaskaram Axlyz ji



jai jai , ...it would be an impossibility




I'm glad you said that , ...rather than me , ....but I canot help but agree , ...



jai jai , ...




jai jai , this is beautifull , it also illustrates that love is so much more than sexuality , ....

and have you ever herd it said that next to Krsna we are all female/ feminine , that he is the only true embodiment of masculinity ?

yet as Sri Krsna Chaitanya , ...he appears in the mood of Srimati Radharani in order to understand her love for him .

Yes that is a core doctrine of Shri Vaishnavism. We are the brides of Narayana. This means two main things.

1) As a wife faithfully serves her husband, we serve Narayana faithfully. And of course, he reciprocates.
2) As a wife can only have one husband, and a husband only wife, the jivatma is not to be enjoyed by any being other than Narayana. Thus, intimacy is established.

 

[Chakra]

First, thank you for sharing your journey. I think it's important or people to realize that some people face challenges that other don't ever have to and maybe the rest of us should stop and try to, oh I don't know...empathize for a minute? To your second point about Brahmacharya - people who aren't familiar with gay individuals have this perception that homosexuality isn't an inherent quality but rather a "kink" - so people assume you're sex crazed and can't help yourself. My husband once admitted that in his college days gay men made him uncomfortable probably because he as worried about being hit on- even though the outcome to that was never going to be - "and then he's going to jump you in an alley way and violate you later".

As far as scriptures - whether smriti or shruti they come to us through the filter of flawed human beings with human failings. I know some people don't believe that, but that's my take on it. People reference scripture on all kinds of things they think are weird, unnatural or "icky" and my answer to them is, "grow up". It has nothing to do with them. Also, your meat suit is a meat suit, plain and simple. How is sexual orientation an affectation of the soul? Like you said, everything you do is between you and the divine. Other people with too much time on their hands who can't help but stick their nose in your business are not worth worrying about.

Also...since when is Vedic Marriage not for homosexuals? As far as forming a family are people aware of this cool new thing called adoption? or surrogacy? Yeah, the whole marriage is for making a family is bunk. You can make a family in many ways that don't involve binding yourself to someone you aren't actually attracted to. Also, to that end....

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THESE COUPLE'S? =)

Which temple did these marriages?

 

[ShivaFan]

You do not need to ask our approval or anything, thanks for sharing your story. It is great that you are practicing brahmacharya, keep it up.

Regarding brahmacharya, my Ishta Lord is Hanuman, my actual Hanuman murti is a special one of Hanuman as a Bhikshu Brahmachari with a little cap on His head and Rudraksha beads as a stringed head band, His entire attire is one metal mold (I do not dress Him) including this Rudraksha headband and cap, He is as a "monk", actually He is silver and stands 6 inches, and His palms are held out in front almost like namaste but the palms and tips of the fingers are not touching, instead they are slightly turned up with the palms to the sky much like you see a Muslim in prayer. This is NOT the Namaskar/Namaste gesture of Hanuman, but a respectful gesture to the "Divine Light". He stands on a lotus base and is a Monkey form with tail and a very peaceful face and hint of a slight smile and Eyes like Shiva meaning lotus like and He has a Third Eye.

What is very unusual of this Hanuman as Brahmachari is, He does not bear His club. His aspect comes from the area of Delhi, but He has slightly large decorative earrings that are seen in Telegu Land, from chest up He is wearing the features of a Shaiva Tamil Monk but His robe below is North Indian from Varanasi. Again, this is a very unusual Brahmachrya form of Hanuman, rare without club, Monkey face and tail but expose shirtless chest of human.

This Murti is probably the most important to me, however - I am not a brahmachari. But you are. Very good!

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

Which temple did these marriages?

No idea.

I found them through wedding blogs but the temples aren't mentioned unless I missed the credit somewhere.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Lord Hanuman without his trademark Gada or Mukuta. I have seen an image of Lord Hanuman with the vaihnava goswami cap. Is that what you mean?

 

[Stormcry]

I'm here just to read people's personal opinions.

 

[Chakra]

No idea.

I found them through wedding blogs but the temples aren't mentioned unless I missed the credit somewhere.

But both are Hindu weddings? That's good news.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Starry, forget about sexual inclinations. Has anyone asked you about it here (barring perhaps one or two members). Just be happy and try to fulfill your dharma to the extent possible. Nobody is perfect, and Gods make allowance for effort.

 

[Yogi1054]

I think you will find in any faith there are those who will not tolerate homosexuality and those who think homosexaulity is ok as long as you remain celibate. Many of the Goddess and God's themselves reflect our struggles as humans

GALVA-108: Gay & Lesbian Vaishnava Association Is a good link to follow showing the many forms that are taken by the divine, male, female male and female.

 

[Shantanu]

So, this is a topic that I've been wanting to discuss for quite a while. Primarily for 2 reasons:

1.) There seems to be a great misconception about homosexuality among Hindus (especially among Indians in general). While I have not seen anything negative said about LGBT from Hindus in this DIR, I have seen a handful of comments over the years which don't exactly paint gay people in the best light.

2.) The general confusion as to how, and why, a gay man would ever be religious.

When comes to the topic of my faith and my sexual orientation, most people express the following thoughts or concerns.

• How can you be gay and Hindu?

Simple: I'm a man with romantic, emotional, and (yes) sexual attractions to men. I also happen to be a western adoptee of Hinduism. I follow my faith to the best of my abilities (although I still do slip up and am no where near perfect in practice) and my attraction to men is such an intrinsic part of my being. I briefly toyed with the idea of being with a woman, but I couldn't go with it. There is nothing sinful, horrible, or "evil" about my attraction to men. As I have said, it's such an ingrained part of my overall being and I don't think I could change it even if I wanted to. Which brings me to the next point:

• What about your Brahmacharya?

Why is it that many people (Indian, western, or otherwise) think that being gay is only about physical intimacy? As a new initiate, I'm keeping to my stage as a Brahmacharya. I'm not having sex, I'm not in a relationship, and I'm dedicated to my religious studies. Even before I adopted Hinduism, I was living what could be considered a Brahmachari lifestyle. I only had physical intimacy with 2 people; one of whom was in the context of a 3.5 year relationship, while the other was with someone whom I thought a relationship would arise. As long as I could remember, the idea of sexual gradification for the sole purpose of doing so (such as one night stands) never appealed to me.

With that being said, while I'm currently living as a Brahmachari, and while I don't have sex outside of relationships (or possible relationships), I don't plan on staying celibate for the rest of my life. I do plan on finding a husband to settle down with later on down the road. At the ripe old age of 24, I eagerly await committing myself to a single person for, hopefully, the rest of my life. until then, I'll continue my dedication as a Brahmachari.

• Scriptures say...

This one makes me a little sad. As diverse and non-centralized as Hinduism is, so many Hindus have tried to use scriptures as means of suppressing those considered undesirable. As far as I can tell, Śruti say little to nothing on sexual orientation. From what people have tried to extrapolate from them, it seems that revealed texts are, at best, neutral to homosexuality. Neither condemning or condoning.

Smriti, on the other hand, is what people primarily try to use to say that homosexuality is an abomination within Hinduism (at least in my experience). Particularly Smriti regarding conduct and ritual. While I'm not an anthropologist and can't comment on the dates and authenticity of some Smriti, I will say that if it is true that homosexuality is prohibited as per learned scripture, then it is my karma to bear and what I will ultimately answer to. However, as a personal rule, I will go by what has been revealed by the Divine any day.

• Vedic marriage is not for you

Fair enough to this point. Marriage in Vedic times was, generally, very pro-family and between a man and woman. However, that's one of the joys of living in a secular country: having a civil marriage or secular arrangement.


I'm sorry if this was too drawn out or too long. It's just something that has been on my mind for a little while. With this past week not having been one of the better ones in my life, I just needed to get it off my chest. I understand that homosexuality is still a hot button issue, and may or may not ever be fully accepted by Indian society or Hindus at large, but that won't stop me from following my dharma and living out this life as I'm guided by the grace of God. We all have our lives to live and karmic debts to pay, and perhaps this just happens to be mine.

First, Hinduism sees man and woman as two halves of a single human entity. That is the manner in which the species is propagated. This makes heterosexuality to be the norm. So many people think that homosexuality is wrong. This view is born out of ignorance for the following reason (pardon me for being blunt in my language). The reason that some men are have homosexual tendencies is that their genes and hormones have made them psychologically effeminate, although this biological facet has not been translated fully into them developing the full secondary sexual characteristics of the female form such as having vagina instead of a penis and having enlarged breasts: they consequently long to have sex with another man and want such romantic attachments. Such people may be described as 'semi-man' biologically. Like wise, there are some women whose genes and hormones have combined to make them psychologically masculine although it has not translated itself fully to the extent that they are endowed with a penis instead of a vagina or have lost their breasts fully. They two are to be described as 'semi-woman' who have longings for sexual relations with women instead of a man. Many such people in both these categories are bisexual in that they can have sexual relations with either a man or a woman.

This description of human reproductive features is a fact, and so a reality that Hinduism cannot override with customs that make it wrong for homosexuality to be unacceptable in society. They are entitled to form their desired unions including through marriage between people who may have the same sexual organs.

 

[SomeRandom]

I'm not very learned in any scriptures so I can't comment on them one way or the other.

However, I personally don't see anything wrong with being gay or being gay and religious/spiritual. I think people need to know gay people in order to overcome prejudices. There's nothing like reality hitting you in the face to shake up your perceptions.

My mother calls homosexuality a "sin" (although that might be because of the infusion of Catholic teachings amongst my family) but has an openly gay friend from her workplace whom she embraces warmly as her brother. Even going out of her way to make him and his partner feel welcome in our family.

I think gay straight bisexual whatever none are excluded from God. It's people who try to create divisions and try to label others they feel are inferior. We're a tribal species, that's just how we are.

 

[SomeRandom]

First, Hinduism sees man and woman as two halves of a single human entity. That is the manner in which the species is propagated. This makes heterosexuality to be the norm. So many people think that homosexuality is wrong. This view is born out of ignorance for the following reason (pardon me for being blunt in my language). The reason that some men are have homosexual tendencies is that their genes and hormones have made them psychologically effeminate, although this biological facet has not been translated fully into them developing the full secondary sexual characteristics of the female form such as having vagina instead of a penis and having enlarged breasts: they consequently long to have sex with another man and want such romantic attachments. Such people may be described as 'semi-man' biologically. Like wise, there are some women whose genes and hormones have combined to make them psychologically masculine although it has not translated itself fully to the extent that they are endowed with a penis instead of a vagina or have lost their breasts fully. They two are to be described as 'semi-woman' who have longings for sexual relations with women instead of a man. Many such people in both these categories are bisexual in that they can have sexual relations with either a man or a woman.

This description of human reproductive features is a fact, and so a reality that Hinduism cannot override with customs that make it wrong for homosexuality to be unacceptable in society. They are entitled to form their desired unions including through marriage between people who may have the same sexual organs.

I'm pretty sure you just described transgenderism and a few other known "anomalies" in sex, then attributed it to homosexuality. That's....... not entirely how it works.

For example, there are actually quite a few females are in fact born with a Y chromosome. Not the majority, obviously, but there's a fair few. There are even some who have an unusually high amount of testosterone. (There was a lady a couple years back who was challenging the Olympic divide of male and female because she had more testosterone than the average female and thus unable to compete in the women's events.) These women are actually still usually heterosexual (I only say that because heterosexuality is more prevalent by default.) Albeit with more "traditionally masculine" traits like deep voices for example. Hell there are even a few heterosexual women born with an Adam's Apple or even with the capability of growing beards. The latter usually down to hormones I'm pretty sure.
Then you have the many shades of hermaphrodites. How those specific "anomalies" in our sex development relate specifically to sexual orientation is often a tad murky.

Although a gay male's brain is supposedly structured like a female heterosexual's brain. Perhaps that's what you were referring to?

Sexuality is considered fluid and not fixed. This means that throughout one's life one can change sexual orientation (naturally.) This could be attributed to the many shades of sexuality in particular bisexuality or perhaps societal pressures. Like hetero normative society forcing some to repress bisexual or homosexual tendencies.Though more study needs to be done.

Truth be told, we don't exactly know the cause of homosexuality, although it is usually described as down to a number of biological factors. So you are right, people are literally born gay as it were.

 

[Shantanu]

I'm pretty sure you just described transgenderism and a few other known "anomalies" in sex, then attributed it to homosexuality. That's....... not entirely how it works.

For example, there are actually quite a few females are in fact born with a Y chromosome. Not the majority, obviously, but there's a fair few. There are even some who have an unusually high amount of testosterone. (There was a lady a couple years back who was challenging the Olympic divide of male and female because she had more testosterone than the average female and thus unable to compete in the women's events.) These women are actually still usually heterosexual (I only say that because heterosexuality is more prevalent by default.) Albeit with more "traditionally masculine" traits like deep voices for example. Hell there are even a few heterosexual women born with an Adam's Apple or even with the capability of growing beards. The latter usually down to hormones I'm pretty sure.
Then you have the many shades of hermaphrodites. How those specific "anomalies" in our sex development relate specifically to sexual orientation is often a tad murky.

Although a gay male's brain is supposedly structured like a female heterosexual's brain. Perhaps that's what you were referring to?

Sexuality is considered fluid and not fixed. This means that throughout one's life one can change sexual orientation (naturally.) This could be attributed to the many shades of sexuality in particular bisexuality or perhaps societal pressures. Like hetero normative society forcing some to repress bisexual or homosexual tendencies.Though more study needs to be done.

Truth be told, we don't exactly know the cause of homosexuality, although it is usually described as down to a number of biological factors. So you are right, people are literally born gay as it were.

I asked God whether he agreed with me but he did not. I do not think He wants gays to bother worshipping Him. This means that Hinduism does not accept homosexuality and other deviant sexualities. God did not make a perfect world. He wants us to make it perfect through dharma.

 

[StarryNightshade]

I feel that there is no real need to appeal to all Indians. Some Indians are prejudiced and racist, even against other Indians, so what to speak of a white male who is gay? Most Hindus are more superstitious than religious/spiritual, and some only claim to be Hindus without actually passionately believing in Hinduism's core doctrine. I won't go into more of this since I've made my views pretty clear here (What do you think is the problem with Hinduism? | ReligiousForums.com but suffice to say, don't worry too much about. As long as your gurus/tradition and your friends are supporting you, that's all that matters. In my opinion.

Thanks axlyz. My diksha guru doesn't have an issue with it and, as far as I know, my lineage's Acharya hasn't condemned homosexuality.

Regarding the scripture argument, there's an interesting story in Shri Vaishnavism about homosexuality that I think you'd be interested in. Quoting from where I got it from (another forum, you probably know which one it is)...

I really like that story. Thanks.