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Looking for a few laughs?

Geoff-Allen

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Relationship Jokes

Russ, a deeply suspicious husband, hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. In addition to a written report, the husband wanted a video of his wife's affairs.

A week later, the detective returned with a film. They sat down together and proceeded to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, Russ saw his wife meeting another man. He saw the two of them strolling arm in arm and laughing in the park. Russ viewed them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He then watched them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. Russ saw them having fun and continually laughing together.

'I just can't believe this,' spluttered the distraught Russ.

'What's not to believe?' the detective responded. 'It's right up there on the screen.'

'I simply can't believe my wife could be so much fun.' Russ replies grimly.

Will and Guy's collection of funny men and women's marriage stories, jokes and humour
 
Geoff-Allen

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
It's time to reassess your relationship with your computer when .....
  1. You wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop at the computer to check your email on the way back to bed.
  2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
  3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
  4. You start using smileys :) in your snail mail.
  5. When you hand-write a note and think... SPELL CHECKER'!
  6. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.
  7. When your computer's email box shows 'no new messages' and you feel really depressed.
  8. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have non-descript screen name and you never bothered to ask.
  9. Your family always knows where you are.
  10. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say 'LOL, LOL'
  11. If your computer's internet connection goes down, you cannot settle to any other tasks.
  12. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!
For more gags -

Funny Computer Relationships

:)
 
Geoff-Allen

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
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More Buddhist humour here -

https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/495114552755922263/
 
Geoff-Allen

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Love this guy's stuff -

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

something.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Steven Wright Quotes
 
Geoff-Allen

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
There's a joke about a man whose son is unemployed and one day the man was talking with a friend who asked what his son is doing. So the man says it is good news - his son has started to meditate. The man's friend asks him what is meditation. So the man says it beats me but it is better than sitting around doing nothing!

:)
 
Geoff-Allen

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Tragically, Sally Mason, an HR manager was hit and killed by a 4×4 when she crossed the road while talking on her mobile.

As her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter himself was on hand to greet her.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, as with everyone, we’d like to give you the opportunity to experience both heaven and hell so what we’re going to do is let you have a day in each before you decide where you wish to spend eternity.”

“Fair enough, although I’m sure I want to be in heaven”, said Sally.

For the rest of this joke -

https://www.hrzone.com/engage/managers/recruitment-joke-heaven-or-hell

:)
 
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