Lost

[VioletVortex]

Sorry if this thread seems too negative or somethint, I'm kind of venting...

So I just turned 18 and I feel pathetic. All my life I have literally never accomplished anything. I've never played a sport, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never worked a job, I never leave the house. I don't even have a ****ing drivers licence. All I do is sleep all day, wake up in the afternoon and hang out/excercise all day. Then I go to bed between 6 and 8 in the morning. Basically I have no social interaction, and no real friends. People say I'm white trash, I'm a loser, a creep etc.

I just need some advice as to how to get out of this social rut. I've never been exceptionally social but now if I go to a restuarant (which I rarely do) I'm anxious enough that I have trouble swallowing and I blush really easily which I ****ing hate.

I feel like I need to do something to ease myself back into social situations without getting all anxious but I can't think of anything.

 

[Orbit]

I don't mean this in an unkind way, but getting a job would get you out of the house, give you some money, and provide a place to meet friends.

 

[VioletVortex]

I don't mean this in an unkind way, but getting a job would get you out of the house, give you some money, and provide a place to meet friends.

I was thinking about getting a part time job after I get settled into school this year. I'm just nervous about it because I'm really bad at following directions. Also I'm like the last person anyone would want to hire. I have long hair plus I'm short so I look younger.

 

[Orbit]

I was thinking about getting a part time job after I get settled into school this year. I'm just nervous about it because I'm really bad at following directions. Also I'm like the last person anyone would want to hire. I have long hair plus I'm short so I look younger.

Practice makes perfect, and ponytails are a thing ;-)

 

[columbus]

You might start with a concrete and quite achievable goal.
Unless there's something about you I don't know, getting a driver's license should be pretty easy. It should also help a bit with the confidence level.
Tom

 

[Mindmaster]

Sorry if this thread seems too negative or somethint, I'm kind of venting...

So I just turned 18 and I feel pathetic. All my life I have literally never accomplished anything. I've never played a sport, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never worked a job, I never leave the house. I don't even have a ****ing drivers licence. All I do is sleep all day, wake up in the afternoon and hang out/excercise all day. Then I go to bed between 6 and 8 in the morning. Basically I have no social interaction, and no real friends. People say I'm white trash, I'm a loser, a creep etc.

I just need some advice as to how to get out of this social rut. I've never been exceptionally social but now if I go to a restuarant (which I rarely do) I'm anxious enough that I have trouble swallowing and I blush really easily which I ****ing hate.

I feel like I need to do something to ease myself back into social situations without getting all anxious but I can't think of anything.

Advice or bull ****, take your pick:

1) Change sleeping schedule to human times. Even the I don't get out bed crowd are up by noon. Start there, work toward 8-9am. If you get a job you'll just have a minor switch of maybe an hour or two. Noon wake means 4am is bed time, 11am means 3am and so on. Turn off the games, netflix, and stop doing things that mentally stimulate you at the bed hour. At that time you are sleeping, your body can be trained.

2) Create an "I go out an exercise" routine. Ride a bike, walk, whatever. It will elevate your mood and you'll stop feeling like a cave dwelling troll. You need a certain amount of vitamin D absorption for good mental health you get that from the sun. Do this in daylight hours not at night.

3) Get a job, any job, even mowing some lawns. It doesn't matter. You need a certain amount of activity for mental health and you need responsibility to gain confidence. Reading your post this is your problem. Can't get a car or drivers license without money, so get the money first.

4) People will not associate with people that they feel are losers. Stop being one. Job, school, or even creative outlets are fine. Make yourself valuable. If you cratered in your home town and have a severely bad rep you have to move. No one likes to say that, but you might need a redo. If you're the "crazy billy" of the town everyone knows it and you're not going to get opportunity there. Make peace with it and devise an exit strategy. Move to an area with more jobs and people you find interesting. If you crater there, move again... Unlimited redos...

5) You can fix it all if you want to, or you can wallow in your defeat. You pick. You say you can't, I say you won't. At least not right now. Nothing is stopping you from getting what you want in life except for you.

 

[Earthling]

Sorry if this thread seems too negative or somethint, I'm kind of venting...

Alright, then.

So I just turned 18 and I feel pathetic. All my life I have literally never accomplished anything. I've never played a sport, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never worked a job, I never leave the house. I don't even have a ****ing drivers licence. All I do is sleep all day, wake up in the afternoon and hang out/excercise all day. Then I go to bed between 6 and 8 in the morning. Basically I have no social interaction, and no real friends.

When I was your age some of the people I did know were like this. They came out of it eventually. When I was a kid I went through a period of about 2 years where I got fat and everyone made fun of me. I grew out of it when I was 14 and the next thing I know I'm 20 working at a furniture store in a college town and girls are circling around the building which I was working on, painting, tuck pointing etc. I thought these shallow, idiot, preppy girls were just driving around in circles hooting and hollering and acting like idiots until one day someone pointed out that they were doing that for me. Though I still thought that I was that fat kid everyone made fun of, and that's what they were doing, but it turns out that I was unaware that I had turned into someone who was very attractive.

You look really good. You just have a confidence problem.

People say I'm white trash, I'm a loser, a creep etc.

What people? When do you see them? Are you sure that's what they think? Well, are you those things? Is that what you want to be? If so, don't worry about it unless you have to. If not, work hard to change it.

I just need some advice as to how to get out of this social rut. I've never been exceptionally social but now if I go to a restuarant (which I rarely do) I'm anxious enough that I have trouble swallowing and I blush really easily which I ****ing hate.

I know what that's like. I'm a recluse now, but I came out of it for a while and was the opposite. I got my confidence. I stopped hating everyone and suspecting they were just laughing at me. I used to blush easy and I had to sort of stop that. Most of it is the fear of blushing and then you blush. You blush when you get angry, so I just said let them think I'm angry. 90% of the problem is the fear of blushing and the embarrassment it causes you in your own mind. Just let it go. Forget about it.

I feel like I need to do something to ease myself back into social situations without getting all anxious but I can't think of anything.

Well, with me, alcohol helped a great deal, but I wouldn't suggest that, because becoming an alcoholic would be worse off than you are now. It's all in your mind. You mentioned school. That could just be a nightmare for you . . . a job would be different. It doesn't usually have the social pressures of school. Maybe a part time job would be a first step. Also, unless you live in a big city a drivers licence is a must.

 

[Spiderman]

Sorry if this thread seems too negative or somethint, I'm kind of venting...

So I just turned 18 and I feel pathetic. All my life I have literally never accomplished anything. I've never played a sport, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never worked a job, I never leave the house. I don't even have a ****ing drivers licence. All I do is sleep all day, wake up in the afternoon and hang out/excercise all day. Then I go to bed between 6 and 8 in the morning. Basically I have no social interaction, and no real friends. People say I'm white trash, I'm a loser, a creep etc.

I just need some advice as to how to get out of this social rut. I've never been exceptionally social but now if I go to a restuarant (which I rarely do) I'm anxious enough that I have trouble swallowing and I blush really easily which I ****ing hate.

I feel like I need to do something to ease myself back into social situations without getting all anxious but I can't think of anything.

I'm going through the same thing. I'm even willing to give you my phone number if you want to talk!

 

[Earthling]

I was thinking about getting a part time job after I get settled into school this year. I'm just nervous about it because I'm really bad at following directions. Also I'm like the last person anyone would want to hire. I have long hair plus I'm short so I look younger.

You've got a guitar there, do you play? Getting together with a band could be cool for you.

 

[Quagmire]

Sorry if this thread seems too negative or somethint, I'm kind of venting...

So I just turned 18 and I feel pathetic. All my life I have literally never accomplished anything.

Don't worry, you'll get used to it: I'm 59 and I've never accomplished anything and it doesn't bother me anymore (which is kind of an accomplishment).

 

[YmirGF]

I was thinking about getting a part time job after I get settled into school this year. I'm just nervous about it because I'm really bad at following directions. Also I'm like the last person anyone would want to hire. I have long hair plus I'm short so I look younger.

My own advice is to try, TRY, to stop creating the negative feedback loops about what may happen and how people may perceive you. You seem reasonably intelligent and it doesn't really matter how long your hair is - as long as it is neatly groomed.

Look on the bright side. You are only 18. I just got my driver's license recently, as I live in a rural area and a car is a must, and I'm 63. Use your lack of driving towards your climate activist credits.

An important note. When I was 18 I really wanted to be a radio DJ. (That was in 1974!) I let others convince me that this was not a great field to get into. Now, years later, I so wish I had. I would have been great as I have a unique ability to arrange music to fit moods wonderfully and have a perfect announcers voice. But no, I listened to and heeded the "get a real job" advice.

Eventually, I got into computers in 1985 or 86 and, well, my life changed as I was smitten at the first byte. I went on to make a good living in the technology field in sales, managerial and technical areas.

 

[YmirGF]

Don't worry, you'll get used to it: I'm 59 and I've never accomplished anything and it doesn't bother me anymore (which is kind of an accomplishment).

Actually, you are a really neat human being. That is quite an accomplishment these days.

 

[osgart]

I lost my factory job due to a worsening disability, now i am 47, and practically crippled. My advice is dont work with toxic chemicals. If i was 18 i would definetly get educated in math and science, and i would work part time, and get into a routine and develope good habits. Lame, but true.

18, what better time to start being serious about life.

 

[VioletVortex]

Advice or bull ****, take your pick:

1) Change sleeping schedule to human times. Even the I don't get out bed crowd are up by noon. Start there, work toward 8-9am. If you get a job you'll just have a minor switch of maybe an hour or two. Noon wake means 4am is bed time, 11am means 3am and so on. Turn off the games, netflix, and stop doing things that mentally stimulate you at the bed hour. At that time you are sleeping, your body can be trained.

2) Create an "I go out an exercise" routine. Ride a bike, walk, whatever. It will elevate your mood and you'll stop feeling like a cave dwelling troll. You need a certain amount of vitamin D absorption for good mental health you get that from the sun. Do this in daylight hours not at night.

3) Get a job, any job, even mowing some lawns. It doesn't matter. You need a certain amount of activity for mental health and you need responsibility to gain confidence. Reading your post this is your problem. Can't get a car or drivers license without money, so get the money first.

4) People will not associate with people that they feel are losers. Stop being one. Job, school, or even creative outlets are fine. Make yourself valuable. If you cratered in your home town and have a severely bad rep you have to move. No one likes to say that, but you might need a redo. If you're the "crazy billy" of the town everyone knows it and you're not going to get opportunity there. Make peace with it and devise an exit strategy. Move to an area with more jobs and people you find interesting. If you crater there, move again... Unlimited redos...

5) You can fix it all if you want to, or you can wallow in your defeat. You pick. You say you can't, I say you won't. At least not right now. Nothing is stopping you from getting what you want in life except for you.

To me the sleep cycle thing is reasonable, probably the first thing I should fix. 4 AM to 12 sounds idea to me. I've kind of trained my body to associate dawn with sleeping which isn't really effective.

I just got a pullup bar so I do pullups several times a day and I bench and shoulder press every few days. Plus I'm redoing my room so I'm moving furniture a lot. I'm not lazy physically, just mentally. Sunlight is not a bad idea though.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Actually, you are a really neat human being. That is quite an accomplishment these days.

I'm not sure about that. Sure, he seems cool, but are we really sure it's not just the monkey pulling his strings???

 

[Earthling]

To me the sleep cycle thing is reasonable, probably the first thing I should fix. 4 AM to 12 sounds idea to me. I've kind of trained my body to associate dawn with sleeping which isn't really effective.

I just got a pullup bar so I do pullups several times a day and I bench and shoulder press every few days. Plus I'm redoing my room so I'm moving furniture a lot. I'm not lazy physically, just mentally. Sunlight is not a bad idea though.

If you are unhappy with that cycle, then change it by all means, but don't think that you have to necessarily do that. My brother has worked the night shift since he was 18 and he wouldn't have it any other way. For a brief period he worked the day shift and hated it. He was very unhappy for about 6 months. He's in his 40's now and doing great. The 9 to 5 isn't for everyone.

But, whatever makes you happy.

 

[ASPls]

This is the age of self-employment. Anyone can make a Youtube channel, make independent online business, drive Uber (once you get your license) and so on. If monetary gain is not of priority for you, then yeah, make a band, join a form of hobby community and such. You're still young, go and explore many different things.

 

[David T]

Oh a young artist... you are screwed.

 

[PureX]

Sorry if this thread seems too negative or somethint, I'm kind of venting...

So I just turned 18 and I feel pathetic. All my life I have literally never accomplished anything. I've never played a sport, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never worked a job, I never leave the house. I don't even have a ****ing drivers licence. All I do is sleep all day, wake up in the afternoon and hang out/excercise all day. Then I go to bed between 6 and 8 in the morning. Basically I have no social interaction, and no real friends. People say I'm white trash, I'm a loser, a creep etc.

I just need some advice as to how to get out of this social rut. I've never been exceptionally social but now if I go to a restuarant (which I rarely do) I'm anxious enough that I have trouble swallowing and I blush really easily which I ****ing hate.

I feel like I need to do something to ease myself back into social situations without getting all anxious but I can't think of anything.

One step at a time.

Taken as a whole, change can be overwhelming, and that makes it too easy to give up. But taken one step at a time, I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how much you can accomplish in a relatively short period of time.

Start with your sleeping habits. Start going to bed earlier and earlier until your own sleep cycle aligns more with the rest of the world. You can't become "social" at 4 in the morning, so stop wasting your waking hours when everyone else is asleep.

Then do the same thing with your meals. Eat when others are eating. Share meals with them. Learn to become more comfortable with others by doing things with them, when and how they do them.

Then start looking for a job. That's a great way to meet new people and learn to interact with them successfully. It also puts a few dollars in your pocket that you can use to get around. Maybe by a bicycle, and eventually get a driver's license, or even a car.

Life is mostly a matter of practice. We try, we fail, we try some more. And eventually we get better at it. You have a whole lot more of it ahead of you then you have behind you. So you really ought to muster up your sense of adventure and begin exploring it, instead of hiding from it. It will be worth it, I promise.

 

[Audie]

Sorry if this thread seems too negative or somethint, I'm kind of venting...

So I just turned 18 and I feel pathetic. All my life I have literally never accomplished anything. I've never played a sport, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never worked a job, I never leave the house. I don't even have a ****ing drivers licence. All I do is sleep all day, wake up in the afternoon and hang out/excercise all day. Then I go to bed between 6 and 8 in the morning. Basically I have no social interaction, and no real friends. People say I'm white trash, I'm a loser, a creep etc.

I just need some advice as to how to get out of this social rut. I've never been exceptionally social but now if I go to a restuarant (which I rarely do) I'm anxious enough that I have trouble swallowing and I blush really easily which I ****ing hate.

I feel like I need to do something to ease myself back into social situations without getting all anxious but I can't think of anything.

Join the army

if you dont like that,
go to Taiwan or Korea or Vietnam,
and teach English. You will have
to wake up, or die.