Love for an addict?

[Riders]

I don't see it happening for me. Ive got 8 weeks of sobriety as a sex and love addict and I don't see any man wanting a monogamous relationship wanting it to be with me. Im 48 years old, and Im obese though Im working on my weight,still don't see it as happening for me.
But I just wonder how many addicts feel this way? Its hard to be recovering from any addiction or most addictions, as a single, especially sex and love addiction or gambling or drug or alcohol addiction and feel like you can find love.

 

[Laika]

I don't see any man wanting a monogamous relationship wanting it to be with me. Im 48 years old, and Im obese though Im working on my weight,still don't see it as happening for me.

I find this very sad. I don't really think of sex and love as addictions, But, it reads as if you've had some very breif, but intense, relationships. I don't think you should be worried by their breiveity, but ultimately as to how they make you feel. I imagine that seeking a relationship is a way of compensating for issues over self-esteem and self-worth. Ultimately, fulfillment will come not because you find the right man, but because you realise you are and were the right woman all along. Someones who truly loves us, teaches us how to love ourselves and to love life. They are both exciting and fulfilling to be around. I don't have an answer to your question, but I just wanted to wish you well and tell you it is possible. I hope that is enough.

 

[Quetzal]

You mention a love addiction, can you tell me a bit more about that?

 

[columbus]

I don't see it happening for me. Ive got 8 weeks of sobriety as a sex and love addict and I don't see any man wanting a monogamous relationship wanting it to be with me.

Honey, relax and get well before you start stressing about the future. Eight weeks is not very long. Reassess at eight months and see where you are.

You are not the only wounded person out there. There are guys with their own problems. Including weight and sex problems. But for now you need to focus on yourself and becoming the best you can be, overcoming your current problems, before you go looking for a relationship with someone else with commitment. Be a good friend to many and probably a compatible match will appear when you are ready to do it.
Tom

 

[notsoplainJane]

Love yourself first and love will find you.

 

[psychoslice]

Love yourself first and love will find you.

Yes that's nice, for me there is no such thing as a love addiction, for it wouldn't be love, love lets go, love lets the other be who they are, and if we are love, then we can never be truly alone. I found true love when I gave up be addicted to another, I was really nothing more than a parasite to the other, when I finally gave up this addiction I for the first time experienced love, I realized that I don't need another to fulfil my life, for I am all that I am, I am already love, as the other is also, we can only share that love with each another.

And as you said," Love yourself first and love will find you."

 

[Newway]

I do not like to say love addiction,because love cannot be addiction. If it is addiction than it must be called somehow else."Love addiction" is there because of your very bad self esteem and than you think that "love" will fix the stuff, but of course it will not. Just working on your self esteem will fix stuffs. The source of happiness in us not in others.Wish you luck.

 

[The Hammer]

I am a happily married alcoholic, it is possible. But remember that you are still very new to sobriety, you need to focus on that first and foremost. As was stated by @notsoplainJane learn to love yourself first, and the rest will follow suit.

 

[The Hammer]

I do not like to say love addiction,because love cannot be addiction. If it is addiction than it must be called somehow else."Love addiction" is there because of your very bad self esteem and than you think that "love" will fix the stuff, but of course it will not. Just working on your self esteem will fix stuffs. The source of happiness in us not in others.Wish you luck.

Love addiction is very real, it is an addiction to the intense lustful feelings that occur during the "infatuation" phase of courtship. People with a love addiction will jump from relationship to relationship looking to hold on to the feelings of that "spark of chemistry". It is essentially an addiction to Endorphins released by the brain.

 

[Timothy Bryce]

As humans, we are creatures of addiction. We addict to sex, property, technology, food, ideas, money, values, other people, etc.

It's a psychological disposition where we seek comfort in repetitive behaviours that also give us pleasure while simultaneously shading yourself from any potential fear of the unknown.

Therefore, as humans, life simply becomes a game of choosing addictions and sustaining and moderating them in a way that benefits us and our surroundings.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

There's someone out there for everybody. If you've got serious health issues, there's a good likelihood that the person you end up with will have similar issues, though not always.