Love is overrated........Or is it?

[dawny0826]

I disagree.. All relationships are contingent upon mutual reciprocity. Excuse me, most relationships are contingent upon mutual reciprocity. Can you provide demonstrable evidence that a husband and wife who are married and are "in love" do not have a condition for their union?

Let me give you a hint.....

To not cheat,

Death,

Sickness,

ETC

Love isn't contingent upon mutual reciprocity. You can love severely without being loved in return. You can love unselfishly and truly without being loved in return. One can even be content without being loved in return. It depends on the person.

I've loved without reciprocity. I've loved without the other knowing I loved them. And if my love wasn't returned, my feelings would not have changed. My actions would have changed.

My relationships are contingent upon investment and cultivation of investment.

 

[Sunstone]

But how is love as expressed in marriage no different than co-depemdemcy? Isn't that the whole purpose of marriage is to be at least partially dependent?

I think many -- but not all -- married couples are co-dependent and, yet, believe they are in love.

 

[dawny0826]

I think many -- but not all -- married couples are co-dependent and, yet, believe they are in love.

Most couples elect for a degree of dependency on one another. That is afterall, a piece to partnership.

 

[Sunstone]

Most couples elect for a degree of dependency on one another. That is afterall, a piece to partnership.

I don't think psychological co-dependency is compatible with love. But maybe that's just me.

 

[dawny0826]

I don't think psychological co-dependency is compatible with love. But maybe that's just me.

I'm a Personality type 4 - quite romantic - highly emotive. I crave connection. I have to be aware of the possibility of co-dependency.

Understanding attachment, as I've had unhealthy attachments, there's no way that I could attach to that which I didn't love.

 

[Mr. Skittles]

Love isn't contingent upon mutual reciprocity. You can love severely without being loved in return. You can love unselfishly and truly without being loved in return. One can even be content without being loved in return. It depends on the person.

I've loved without reciprocity. I've loved without the other knowing I loved them. And if my love wasn't returned, my feelings would not have changed. My actions would have changed.

My relationships are contingent upon investment and cultivation of investment.

I was being specific when it comes to marriage. If love isn't contingent upon anything then marriage recitals would be rendered insufficient.

 

[Mr. Skittles]

I think many -- but not all -- married couples are co-dependent and, yet, believe they are in love.

Interesting perspective.

 

[Mr. Skittles]

I don't think psychological co-dependency is compatible with love. But maybe that's just me.

If you were right, issues such as prenuptial agreements or like issues would not even exist.

 

[Riverwolf]

But how is love as expressed in marriage no different than co-depemdemcy? Isn't that the whole purpose of marriage is to be at least partially dependent?

Is there something wrong with that?

We are a social species; we're kind of hard-wired to be somewhat dependent on other human beings.

Unless you're living in the woods hunting and gathering your own food, building your own shelter, etc., you are in no way 100% independent from other people. So why not have that companionship that brings happiness on top of that?