Making Major Life Decisions

[Mackerni]

Hi. My name is Ethan Reilly, and I want to know, in very specific details, how you come up to make your major life decisions. This could be about a religious decision, for example, leaving or joining a church, but I want this to be as broad-based as possible, and I would like as much input from as many sources as I possibly can.

See, I have a hard time making life decisions. I spent a large majority of my time after 18 going to college for computers and not actually taking any courses in computers. I'm 26 right now and I have one course in programming, one that actually does not apply to my degree. I have watched what I consider to be exciting videos on YouTube on how to program but I don't actually have any real programming experience. That is about to change this fall as I'm already registered for classes that are program-specific to my department.

I failed to make computers my profession although it is a very extensive hobby of mine right now. I have done volunteering at the library where I worked with a computer-catalog system all day. I can type accurately at 50 wpm, which I'm told by my vocational councilor is high and the average is about 35 wpm. There's a good chance I'm going to be doing data entry on a computer until I have the means to get a job programming software and websites with my degree.

The future looks bright for me, yet I'm always having second doubts. Are these doubts natural? Is there anyway to escape escapism and uncertainty?

My family used to have a regional trucking service named Reilly Cartage. At the height of prohibition they would take alcohol from Al Capone's stash in Illinois and bring it to Wisconsin. Since then, they fought with the Teamsters union and filed for bankruptcy because they refused to unionize their workers.

I'm a subscriber to BigRigTravels on YouTube. Big Rig Steve is a trucker that goes to all 48 continental United States to haul fright. He's one of the only ones that tells you where he is almost at all times - and has live video streaming of it happening. It's been a fantasy of mine to do something similar to what he does for a living. Maybe or maybe not broadcasting it.

The problem is I'm not a good enough driver yet to do what he does. I only have a permit at this moment because being behind the wheel still scares me. I'm wondering if I could learn to adapt to the environment though and get a good feel for what it's like. I am going to learn how to drive from a friend of mine who just happened to get a car recently. I have driven in the past, albeit I'm a very careful driver, and even if I make a mistake it never leads to an accident.

I kind of equate this to my wanting to both be a secular transhumanist and a Baha'i at the same time. I know I'm a secular transhumanist (like being a computer programmer), and I know i'll get the most use out of interactions within that community, but I really do like the Baha'i Faith a lot (like trucking) and I admire what they do for us as a whole. It's like whenever I watch Big Rig Travels or read something from Baha'u'llah, I want to be part of that community of people.

There's always the possibility that I could do both, though not at the same time. That, I become a computer programmer for ten or fifteen years, make some money, own a car and a license and go driving in that amount of time, and then when I'm feeling really comfortable driving get my CDL and go trucking in my 40's. I hear the average person has six to twelve major career changes throughout his or her lifetime, so this would only be natural.

In any case, if I watch a video on programming for an hour, I'm really excited afterwards. If I watch a video on trucking for an hour, I get really relaxed and calm. I like the way both of them feel for me. If I had something like Sirius XM Satellite Radio playing while I was trucking I probably would be excited as I enjoy music. A lot.

Enough rambling. My question to you is: How do you make a major life decision? If you find a fork in the road, what guides to the right decision? I've burned a lot of bridges in the past, going back on my word multiple times with multiple people, all so I could end up here - still waiting for my turn to arrive.

Thanks in advance

 

[Subhankar Zac]

What is it that motivates you? What global cause you wish to work tirelessly for?
Once you find it, simply make steps on a blank piece of paper for a few days, think clearly, in order to reach your goal.
In my personal life, whenever I m in a dilemma in life and mainly hesitant and scared, I sit down and quietly read the divine conversation between Arjuna and Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.
In about 2.5 hours, I m good to go.
Dedication to ones passion in service of others without expecting anything in return and standing with courage, doing whatever is needed to fulfill your duty with a mind situated in equanimity among pleasing and unpleasant events and by being mindful of one's actions is the way of peace and unwavering satisfaction.

 

[Subhankar Zac]

Sounds cocky, but very effective and pragmatic.

 

[Mackerni]

What is it that motivates you? What global cause you wish to work tirelessly for?

The Pantheosis. The attributes of divine selection attributed to humanity, to accelerate them and extend them further out. I always said there were two kinds of jobs: the jobs that maintain everything the way it is now, and the jobs that push humanity to its limits. I want to do the later of the two. I want people to understand that what they are working for is a divine cause, and that they need to put faith in their own works.

Once you find it, simply make steps on a blank piece of paper for a few days, think clearly, in order to reach your goal.

The Pantheosis is a process that's been coming along for thousands upon thousands of years. It will take more time than a few days to make the steps required to see this process complete to its fruition.

In my personal life, whenever I m in a dilemma in life and mainly hesitant and scared, I sit down and quietly read the divine conversation between Arjuna and Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.
In about 2.5 hours, I m good to go.

Yeah ... I'm not a Hindu so...

Dedication to ones passion in service of others without expecting anything in return and standing with courage, doing whatever is needed to fulfill your duty with a mind situated in equanimity among pleasing and unpleasant events and by being mindful of one's actions is the way of peace and unwavering satisfaction.

That sounds like what I've been trying to find all this time. Unfortunately I care too much about fun, freedom, and relaxation to put into affect a job that would give me that kind satisfaction. Most of the time I get the most satisfaction when I'm doing nothing at all.

Sounds cocky, but very effective and pragmatic.

Not really, but you didn't need to make a separate post to say that.

 

[Subhankar Zac]

The Pantheosis. The attributes of divine selection attributed to humanity, to accelerate them and extend them further out. I always said there were two kinds of jobs: the jobs that maintain everything the way it is now, and the jobs that push humanity to its limits. I want to do the later of the two. I want people to understand that what they are working for is a divine cause, and that they need to put faith in their own works.



The Pantheosis is a process that's been coming along for thousands upon thousands of years. It will take more time than a few days to make the steps required to see this process complete to its fruition.



Yeah ... I'm not a Hindu so...



That sounds like what I've been trying to find all this time. Unfortunately I care too much about fun, freedom, and relaxation to put into affect a job that would give me that kind satisfaction. Most of the time I get the most satisfaction when I'm doing nothing at all.



Not really, but you didn't need to make a separate post to say that.

Sounds like an interesting field to work in. Then you should search any organizations that are involved in these studies.
Maybe work as intern for a while.

Whatever time, it may take, give it your 100% if it motivates you.

Being Hindu, buddhist, Satanist or atheist is irrelevant to the Gita which is a theosophical book. Just clear the theology and find the philosophy, but that's on your will. Many Hindu atheists still find it insightful.
Plus I was stating my views... Not what you should do.

That's all of us, but if you promise to do a work, you obey it no matter what the consequences are.

 

[Mackerni]

Sounds like an interesting field to work in. Then you should search any organizations that are involved in these studies.
Maybe work as intern for a while.

Granted that I invented the word Pantheosis I highly doubt there's any corporations that is specifically devoted to perfecting humanity (and therefore everything else).

Whatever time, it may take, give it your 100% if it motivates you.

What if there's a lot of things that motivate me, not just one? Picking the one thing that motivates me the most is probably the main reason why I end up most of my days drinking various beverages (non-alcoholic).

Being Hindu, buddhist, Satanist or atheist is irrelevant to the Gita which is a theosophical book. Just clear the theology and find the philosophy, but that's on your will. Many Hindu atheists still find it insightful.
Plus I was stating my views... Not what you should do.

I don't read a lot anyways ... I watch a LOT of YouTube videos. A lot.

That's all of us, but if you promise to do a work, you obey it no matter what the consequences are.

I don't agree with this. If what I am doing is hurting other people I refuse to do it. What motivates me should be the suffering of other people. The consequences are only for the deification of humankind.That's it. That's the beginning of the Pantheosis.

 

[bobhikes]

Making decision's depends, I have no solid way. What usually happens though is I get to a point where I say I am making the decision today and then I make it. I will force myself to stick to the decision for a while to make sure I gave it a chance.

I have found you can only make success by making a decision and even a bad decision is a good learning experience. No decision I made ever ruined my life but they all changed it.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Hi. My name is Ethan Reilly, and I want to know, in very specific details, how you come up to make your major life decisions. This could be about a religious decision, for example, leaving or joining a church, but I want this to be as broad-based as possible, and I would like as much input from as many sources as I possibly can.

See, I have a hard time making life decisions. I spent a large majority of my time after 18 going to college for computers and not actually taking any courses in computers. I'm 26 right now and I have one course in programming, one that actually does not apply to my degree. I have watched what I consider to be exciting videos on YouTube on how to program but I don't actually have any real programming experience. That is about to change this fall as I'm already registered for classes that are program-specific to my department.

I failed to make computers my profession although it is a very extensive hobby of mine right now. I have done volunteering at the library where I worked with a computer-catalog system all day. I can type accurately at 50 wpm, which I'm told by my vocational councilor is high and the average is about 35 wpm. There's a good chance I'm going to be doing data entry on a computer until I have the means to get a job programming software and websites with my degree.

The future looks bright for me, yet I'm always having second doubts. Are these doubts natural? Is there anyway to escape escapism and uncertainty?

My family used to have a regional trucking service named Reilly Cartage. At the height of prohibition they would take alcohol from Al Capone's stash in Illinois and bring it to Wisconsin. Since then, they fought with the Teamsters union and filed for bankruptcy because they refused to unionize their workers.

I'm a subscriber to BigRigTravels on YouTube. Big Rig Steve is a trucker that goes to all 48 continental United States to haul fright. He's one of the only ones that tells you where he is almost at all times - and has live video streaming of it happening. It's been a fantasy of mine to do something similar to what he does for a living. Maybe or maybe not broadcasting it.

The problem is I'm not a good enough driver yet to do what he does. I only have a permit at this moment because being behind the wheel still scares me. I'm wondering if I could learn to adapt to the environment though and get a good feel for what it's like. I am going to learn how to drive from a friend of mine who just happened to get a car recently. I have driven in the past, albeit I'm a very careful driver, and even if I make a mistake it never leads to an accident.

I kind of equate this to my wanting to both be a secular transhumanist and a Baha'i at the same time. I know I'm a secular transhumanist (like being a computer programmer), and I know i'll get the most use out of interactions within that community, but I really do like the Baha'i Faith a lot (like trucking) and I admire what they do for us as a whole. It's like whenever I watch Big Rig Travels or read something from Baha'u'llah, I want to be part of that community of people.

There's always the possibility that I could do both, though not at the same time. That, I become a computer programmer for ten or fifteen years, make some money, own a car and a license and go driving in that amount of time, and then when I'm feeling really comfortable driving get my CDL and go trucking in my 40's. I hear the average person has six to twelve major career changes throughout his or her lifetime, so this would only be natural.

In any case, if I watch a video on programming for an hour, I'm really excited afterwards. If I watch a video on trucking for an hour, I get really relaxed and calm. I like the way both of them feel for me. If I had something like Sirius XM Satellite Radio playing while I was trucking I probably would be excited as I enjoy music. A lot.

Enough rambling. My question to you is: How do you make a major life decision? If you find a fork in the road, what guides to the right decision? I've burned a lot of bridges in the past, going back on my word multiple times with multiple people, all so I could end up here - still waiting for my turn to arrive.

Thanks in advance

It might possibly be fear of failure.

It's been a chronic issue with me in life decisions because I primarily create scenarios that don't actually exist yet remain possibilities. Point being, any and all possibilities remain untrue good or bad, until they actually come to pass.

I've learned to accept any results by which I regard as as command decisions for which I make consequent decisions based on what actually happens and create new ones as they transpire.

Seems a bit like steering a ship through rough and smooth waters and dealing with situations as they actually happen after weighing any pros and cons. Not through imagined scenarios that can impede the decision itself solely on the basis of what ifs, as opposed to what is.

It's really tough, but I found it more practical to pursue decisions more aggressively without those mental hangups that cause delays or discouragement in concidering major decisions.

I dunno if this resonates, but it's been the case as to making major decisions on a personal level.

Best wishes.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Hey there

I'm a reckless loser that doesn't have plans for his life. Well I once wanted to become an English teacher but as took my student teacher semester, I realized how educations suck here so I pulled back. That's right next to my weak personality too of course.

Anyway, enough of my useless ranting. I'm here just to wish you best of luck, my friend

 

[suncowiam]

Just do it. If you don't like it, just do something else. Skip the part where you write an essay about the thinking process.

 

[GoodbyeDave]

See, I have a hard time making life decisions.

Been there, done that!

I ask for advice. I remember my mother once saying "Why do you always ask for my advice and so seldom take it?" to which I replied that it was all part of the process of gathering evidence! I make endless lists of pros and cons. I use divination. Then, after all that, I tend to make spur-of-the-moment gut decisions!

 

[Theo8]

Granted that I invented the word Pantheosis I highly doubt there's any corporations that is specifically devoted to perfecting humanity (and therefore everything else).



What if there's a lot of things that motivate me, not just one? Picking the one thing that motivates me the most is probably the main reason why I end up most of my days drinking various beverages (non-alcoholic).



I don't read a lot anyways ... I watch a LOT of YouTube videos. A lot.



I don't agree with this. If what I am doing is hurting other people I refuse to do it. What motivates me should be the suffering of other people. The consequences are only for the deification of humankind.That's it. That's the beginning of the Pantheosis.

The term Pantheosis was already used (perhaps coined) by Russian theologian Sergei Bulgakov in his book the Widsom of God (1937). I quote: "What we are speaking of here is in any case not apokatastasis, but pan-entheosis, or simply pantheosis, the complete penetration of the creature by Wisdom, the manifestation of the power of Divine-humanity in the whole world."

 

[PureX]

Hi. My name is Ethan Reilly, and I want to know, in very specific details, how you come up to make your major life decisions. ... The future looks bright for me, yet I'm always having second doubts. Are these doubts natural? Is there anyway to escape escapism and uncertainty?

Yes, those doubts are natural. And especially when we're young. We want to feel like we're in control of our own destiny, and our future, when in fact we mostly are not. And could serve ourselves better by just keeping our eyes open to the possibilities that present themselves to us instead of trying to control our own destiny.

As an older person, it seems to me that if we keep our minds open to those possibilities that come our way, and do our best with them whatever they are, life has a way of sifting out the extraneous and putting us where we are best suited to be. Keep in mind that we tend to be good at what we like, and to like what we're good at. And the people of the world will tend to move us in that direction even if we don't at the moment know what our talents are.

I will give an example.

Some years ago I was acquainted with a very good alcohol addiction recovery house in Chicago. It took in the "worst of the worst" meaning men that were chronic alcoholics with no home, no job, no possessions but what they had on their backs, and no hope. And through a strict echelon of very basic life tasks that had to be performed every day (to stay in the dorms) this recovery house would in effect teach them how to live like human beings, again. How to go to bed and get up at a set time, make their beds, wash and shave, eat breakfast, help clean the place, do laundry, cook meals, and so on. And every day they had to attend AA meetings and go out looking for a job. ANY job. Regardless of whether they liked it or how much it paid. And then once they got the job, they were taught to show up every day, on time, and with a positive attitude. And once they could get and hold a job, they were expected to pay a little back to the house in rent.

One of the things I found interesting in witnessing these men going through this process is that when they learned to follow the 'program', and they really did show up at their jobs with a sober, positive attitude toward the work, toward their coworkers, toward the boss, and toward life in general (after all, for these men this was a second chance at living) they actually became valued employees. And soon would be given a bit more responsibility in other areas of life and work. And where they would do well, they would then be given more. And so on. And they also would become more employable by other businesses in the areas that they tended to excel. And over time, a man that began as a dish-washer might end up selling cars, or maintaining the business' computers, or doing something completely different. Just by showing up every day, doing the work put before them, and staying open and willing toward whatever might come their way, they would eventually find their rightful place in the world. Even after having wasted half a lifetime drunk in the gutter, in drunk tanks, jails, and as complete social castaways.

It's surprising where one might find themselves just by being willing to do their best with whatever opportunities they have available to them. And it probably won't be anywhere one might have expected or originally sought out to be. Life can be very cruel, for sure. But it can also be amazingly benevolent, too.

My question to you is: How do you make a major life decision? If you find a fork in the road, what guides to the right decision? I've burned a lot of bridges in the past, going back on my word multiple times with multiple people, all so I could end up here - still waiting for my turn to arrive.
Thanks in advance

Well, It's probably a bad idea to be making anyone any promises ... even yourself. Because that's going to be an invitation for disappointment and guilt that no one needs or wants. Maintaining a humble stance is a good way of avoiding resentment from others, or within yourself.

You need to work, and there are plenty of jobs around. So if you don't know what you like and/or are good at that the world needs doing, then try some different stuff. School/job training is OK, but if you have to borrow money for it, it may end up trapping you in a career that wasn't really meant for you. On the other hand, if you can do it without going onto debt, and you think you might like it, then even if you don't like it in the end, you have those skills and that achievement to help you find something that fits you better.

Anyway, here is my advice, for what it's worth ...

It's not the choices you make that matters so much as it's the attitude with which you explore them.