Marriage _ An Islamic perspective

[maro]

By: Mostafa Al Badawi

Marriage is one of the pivotal institutions in Islam and therefore one of the most explicitly regulated. Young men are strongly enjoined to marry as early as possible, as a safeguard against irregular and therefore socially disruptive relationships, and also to enable themselves to reach maturity and stability in their lives. It is stated in hadith that, ‘When the servant marries he completes half of his religion, let him thereafter fear God in the remaining half.’ Another well-known hadith explains how one should choose his spouse-to-be stating that there are four reasons why a woman is desired in marriage: wealth, social status, beauty and piety. The hadith then goes on to exhort men to give piety priority over all other reasons, since a pious wife is an effective helper on the road to the hereafter, whereas a worldly one is at best a distraction and at worst an actively nefarious influence. She may, for instance, put her husband under constant pressure to provide her with luxuries he can ill afford, thereby driving him to fall into dishonest acts such as embezzlement or bribery. It is in this sense that the Qur’an warns: O believers! Verily some of your wives and your children are your enemies, therefore beware of them! (64:14)

 

[maro]

The basis of the marital relationship in Islam is never passion or infatuation nor mere sexual attraction, but the kind of stable affection that makes for emotional security and thus peace and durability. The Qur’an states: It is He who created you out of one living soul and made of him his spouse, that he might find peace in her (7:189).
And again: And of His signs is that He created for you, of yourselves, spouses, that you might find peace in them, and He has set between you affection and compassion (30:21). To achieve this, rules were prescribed in Shari’a based upon the very nature of men and women and designed to make the relationship as satisfactory and stable as possible.
Thus the position of each partner vis-à-vis the other and the children is unequivocally stated. Men are in charge of women, states the Qur’an, for that with which God has favored one of them over the other, and for that which they have expended of their wealth… (4:34). That which men were favored with is what allows them to carry out their functions and fulfill their responsibilities, namely an intelligence which is more objective and less subject to emotional influences, the physical strength to work outdoors, the earning power that goes with these two attributes, the responsibility to give the children their name and the consequent hereditary rights. This makes the man the main factor of stability in the household, the pivot around which all else revolves. He is therefore expected to provide material security to the best of his ability, which includes providing the household with all the necessities of life, protecting its members against external aggression, and active as arbiter in the event of internal discord.

He should also provide emotional security and support by being a source of warmth and affection, by showing his appreciation for the effort expended within the household, and by providing sexual fulfillment. There are his this-worldly duties. His religious duties are to reach his family the basics of their faith and the way to perform their acts of worship correctly, and then to supervise their implementation. He is expected to be fairly intransigent as concerns the rights of God on his family and extremely lenient as concerns his own personal rights, and never the reverse. Men should know that they will be asked to account for the way they have fulfilled these duties, for the Prophet has said, ‘You are all guardians, and each of you shall be asked to account for his subjects.’

 

[maro]

Having discussed the Islamic conception of men’s nature and roles let us now see what is has to say about women. The hadith says, ‘I bid you treat your women well, for women were created from a rib, the part of it that is most bent is its head, should you attempt to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it be, it will remain bent.’ The hadith obviously refers to the symbolism of the story of Eve’s creation from Adam’s rib. That she was created from him indicates that their natures are similar in many respects and that were they differ they are not in opposition but complement each other. The curve of the rib suggests the mother’s protective and nourishing holding of her child to her breast. This is the maximum emotional output in human terms. The emotional charge required by women to function in the role of mother necessarily influences their ability to think detachedly and objectively, especially when their interests or those of their children are at stake. This is why the upper end of head of the rib is said to be the part that suffers the most bending, that is, the part that is most subject to the sway of emotions. To attempt to straighten it is to attempt to force women to act like men, which, if at all possible, would forthwith deprive them of their ability to care for their children adequately. It is, however, plainly impossible, and this is why it was said in the hadith that it would break the rib, that is, lead to the disruption of the relationship and divorce. This in no way means that there are no women who think more objectively than most men, nor that there are no men who are more emotional than most women. But it does mean that these difference should be seen in a positive not a negative light since the fact that each provides the things that the other lacks makes for a differentiation of roles within the relationship and thus for stability. Women are required to be reasonably obedient, well groomed, efficient in the management of the household, solicitous for the children’s welfare, and loyal, that is, discrete as concerns her husband’s affairs and their mutual relationship.

 

[maro]

That people are not angels and that marriage can be very difficult is an acknowledged fact in Islam, and there are therefore instructions for both parties to pre-empt or remedy the main causes for discord. The importance of safeguarding the marital relationship was very much emphasized by the fact that the Prophet, may God’s blessings and peace be upon him, spoke of it on two of the most meaningful occasions, the farewell pilgrimage and on his death bed, when he was expected to mention only matters of the utmost importance. On both occasions he bade men treat their women well and he put the onus of preserving the relationship squarely on their shoulders. He had already said, ‘The best among you are those who are best with their wives, and I am the best of you with my wives.’ And, ‘The believer whose faith is the most perfect is he whose character is the best; and the best among you are those who are the best with their wives.’ He had also addressed both partners thus: ‘You are all guardians and responsible for those in your charge. The ruler is a guardian, the man is a guardian over the members of his household, the woman is a guardian over her husband’s house and children. You are all guardians and responsible for those in your charge.’

Women are emphatically advised against one of the most common pitfalls, which is to deny their husband’s positive aspects and stress only their negative ones. They are also told that simply to perform their minimal religious obligations and to obey their husbands will guarantee then Paradise. To prevent men from taking these instructions too literally and demanding from their wives total obedience, which is recognized, in fact, to be nearly impossible, the Prophet made it clear that divorce was not to be considered lightly, since it is, ‘the permitted thing that is most hateful to God.’ It is to be the very last resort, after all attempts at reconciliation have failed, including arbitration by the two families’ elders: And if you fear a breach between them, bring forth an arbiter from his people and an arbiter from her people; if they desire to set things right God will compose their differences (4:35). Discretion is strongly enjoined on both spouses for obvious reasons. Righteous women are obedient, guarding in secret that which God has guarded (4:34) says the Qur’an, and ‘One of the worst people on the Day of Rising is a man who sleeps with his wife then one of them divulges their secret,’ says the hadith.

 

[maro]

As concerns polygamy, quite apart from such obvious advantages as, for instance, being able to have children from a second wife without being forced to divorce a sterile first one, or being able to offer legally-sanctioned shelter to a widow or a divorcee and her children, the mere fact that a second wife or more are permitted, reduces the likelihood of women treating men as their exclusive possession as is seen so frequently in other cultures. To this we might add the fact that women in Islam keep their material assets independently and thus enjoy a kind of financial autonomy unknown in the West until after industrialization, particularly since the 1960s.
Finally, we have to turn to the sexual relationship between spouses and the way it is perceived by Muslims. First of all let us state, for the sake of those brought up in a different climate, that no feelings of guilt or shame are attached to this relationship. It is considered as natural and ordinary as eating and drinking and a legitimate right of both men and women. Its purpose is not only procreation, but also the strengthening of the marital bonds as well as the gratification of a natural appetite in the most pleasurable manner possible. It also has higher meanings concerning the union between pairs.
The Prophet, may God’s blessings and peace be upon him, spoke of it to his Companions as he spoke to them about every other aspect of their daily lives. ‘Let none of you approach his wife like an animal,’ he once said, meaning that the approach should not be abrupt, ‘but let there be a messenger between them.’ They inquired what this messenger might be and he answered, ‘The kiss and the word.’ The clear reference here is to intimate conversation, emotionally arousing words, and foreplay, that is, physically arousing gestures. He also said that one of the three things that indicated deficiency in a man was for him to approach his wife without preparing her and for him to lie with her and satisfy himself before she was satisfied. He also exhorted women to embellish themselves for their husbands and avoid rejecting their advances unless there be a genuine excuse. ‘When a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until daybreak.’ Muslim men and women who feel dissatisfied with their sexual life are therefore encouraged to seek appropriate advice without hesitation.

Source : Man and the universe ,by Mostafa al Badawi

 

[maro]

Concept of Marriage In Islam
by : Dr. Heba Qutb​

The legislation of marriage in response to the human urge and inclinations towards sex as a main instinct:

For Allah, the institution of marriage based on mutuality of natural interest and cordiality between spouses represents a sublime manifestation of the Divine Will and Purpose. This is discernible in the Quranic verse cited below :Allah Almighty says:
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you from among yourselves mates that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has made between you affection and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who are reflecting” (30:21).​

I would like here to express that there are two verses in the noble Quran , which are complementary with each other, putting the whole constitution for the marital life with all its sides, the first one is this one which is setting the rule for the everyday life events within the marriage, and the second is coming a bit later telling about every single rule concerning the sexual life. This makes a perfect mixture for the believing followers if they stick to what Allah ordered and Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) has demonstrated in his blessed Sunnah.​

Here comes the urge to disclose the meanings present in this past verse, which could be not very clear to most of people (even Allah) who read the Allah just simply without getting into its profound meanings, and among whom I have met a lot in the audients of the lectures I gave in different countries of the Allah world, and who wee so astonished of that clear miraculous meaning which seemed like unclear to them. So let us interpret in details; word by word the verse #21, coming in chapter 30 (called “Ar-rum” or “the Romans”):​

-And among his signs (aya’s’); this means that this is one of the multipleAllah miracles, and mentioning the word “aya” –which comes in this verse in the plural form- has many meanings in the Arabic dictionary:
1st: sign-mark-indication_2nd: miracle-wonder-marvel_3rd: example-lesson-warning_4th: exemplar-pattern_5th: masterpiece_6th: verse (divine book verse)​

So, here is clear that Allah Almighty mentioned only 1 word to indicate all these above-meanings; let us continue to admire together the inimitability and the wondrous nature of the Holy Allah;
“that he created for you”: this is just the literal/verbal meaning of the verse, but the substantial meaning is something else; this is that Allah wants people in general and followers specifically to get the idea of the particularization and the individualization which is gotten from the word ‘for you’.
-“from among yourselves”: This is to be said also literally, but substantially, we have to try to see through that there is a common source for the created beings, so as every spouse has to know that his mate is created in the very first place from his/her self so as to have to look after, and to keep safe, sound, and happy, and also not ever to hurt, neither verbally nor physically, which is to summarized into giving the same care to the spouse as to oneself. All these meanings are inspired from the word “yourselves”
-:mates/spouses”: Here is lastly the entity that Allah kept introducing to mention; so this is the lucky structure Allah was talking about with all this specification for humans to know that the man/woman entities are not separable from each other as they both have the same source of creation; which was split to be reunified at an indicated time; that is marriage, which is the Holy unification God likes most.
-“that you may dwell in tranquility with them”: the target word in his verse is “tranquility”, so let us enquire about the meanings of the Arabic word used to give this verbal meaning in the Arabic dictionary:

1st: trust in-confidence in_2nd: having faith in-rely on _3rd: feel at ease with_4th: to calm with-to tranquilize with_5th: to be relieved with
As we notice, all these up-mentioned meanings are the main purposes of the marital relationship; and that is why Allah created both parties from the same source and entity so as if someone finds his right partner, all these purposes would be there and fulfilled.​

-“and he has made between you”: this is to signify the main kind of feelings that should be present between parties to be married, so as to be able to start over a marital life on solid basis.
-“affection and mercy”; of course the original language any statement is established with gives the best and the most precise meaning ever, and this is the clue of the poorness of the verbal/literal meaning in relation to the substantial profound meaning originally aimed to; and I would like all of us to notice other very important point here; this is that Allah Almighty did not mention love as to be there obligatorily before marriage, but He preconditioned these two above-mentioned kinds of feelings; affection, and mercy.

So let us move to the different meanings of the word ‘affection’ (Mawaddah):
1st: cordiality-friendly feeling-goodwill _2nd: sincere affection-friendliness-amicability_3rd: intimacy-frienship-love
About the word “mercy”(Rahmah):
1st: mercy-clemency_2nd: lenity-leniency_3rd: compassion-pity_4th:sympathy-graciousness-kindness ​

If we have a significant and a profound look throughout all these positive feelings mentioned just above, we could conclude that the simplest way to express “Mawaddah” or “affection” is to talk very gently with one’s partner and to take a very special care to be a very sweet talker, meaningly, usually to say nice words, like unceasingly flattering the other’s good looking and elegance, always saying nice words expressing positive feelings like love, missing, appreciation, and also being thankful whenever indicated, and overall being always aware of the other’s feelings whether positive or negative, like happiness, sadness, and always being supportive and merged to each other as one unit.. and many other positive feelings that could be concluded from, and are included in the global meaning of the word “Mawaddah” or “sincere affection” , Coming to the word “rahmah" or “mercy”: I personally assume that in nowadays lifestyle-language; this could be simply translated into: non-charging/non-burdening one another beyond his/her tolerance or bearing capability, whether this overcharging is physical, emotional, moral, or financial. So, let us imagine a marital life, both parties of which are good believing followers, having all these up-mentioned positive feelings, and insisting on performing the good behavior Allah ordered, wouldn’t t it be a greatly happy life? Surely no one could ever imagine that there is an existing marital life with no negative sides, but taking these principles as basics of our marital life would be always able to cut every negativity short, because of having the power of fighting due to the hardness of the ground this relationship specifically is standing over. On the other hand, letting go one or both of the two main preconditions Allah set as rules for the happy marriage would never guarantee a long-lasting happiness within the marital life. (To be continued.....)​

 

[Beyondo]

To achieve this, rules were prescribed in Shari’a based upon the very nature of men and women and designed to make the relationship as satisfactory and stable as possible. Thus the position of each partner vis-à-vis the other and the children is unequivocally stated. Men are in charge of women, states the Qur’an, for that with which God has favored one of them over the other, and for that which they have expended of their wealth… (4:34). That which men were favored with is what allows them to carry out their functions and fulfill their responsibilities, namely an intelligence which is more objective and less subject to emotional influences, the physical strength to work outdoors, the earning power that goes with these two attributes, the responsibility to give the children their name and the consequent hereditary rights. This makes the man the main factor of stability in the household, the pivot around which all else revolves. He is therefore expected to provide material security to the best of his ability, which includes providing the household with all the necessities of life, protecting its members against external aggression, and active as arbiter in the event of internal discord.

He should also provide emotional security and support by being a source of warmth and affection, by showing his appreciation for the effort expended within the household, and by providing sexual fulfillment. There are his this-worldly duties. His religious duties are to reach his family the basics of their faith and the way to perform their acts of worship correctly, and then to supervise their implementation. He is expected to be fairly intransigent as concerns the rights of God on his family and extremely lenient as concerns his own personal rights, and never the reverse. Men should know that they will be asked to account for the way they have fulfilled these duties, for the Prophet has said, ‘You are all guardians, and each of you shall be asked to account for his subjects.’

From this perspective how could a woman be a "Nobel" prize winner, doctor, lawyer, astonomer, police dective, secret service agent, astronaut, fighter pilot, etc. If such an ability as you mentioned requires intelligence and the ability to be objective rather than subjective to emotional influences. Women have been scientist who have won "Nobel Prizes", in fact the first person to win two Nobel Prizes in their life time is Marie Skłodowska Curie, a woman. Also female astronauts were launched into space and were fighter pilots in the Soviet Union in the sixties! And so the list goes on and on. Women are not emotionaly nor intellectually compromised.

 

[maro]

From this perspective how could a woman be a "Nobel" prize winner, doctor, lawyer, astonomer, police dective, secret service agent, astronaut, fighter pilot, etc. If such an ability as you mentioned requires intelligence and the ability to be objective rather than subjective to emotional influences. Women have been scientist who have won "Nobel Prizes", in fact the first person to win two Nobel Prizes in their life time is Marie Skłodowska Curie, a woman. Also female astronauts were launched into space and were fighter pilots in the Soviet Union in the sixties! And so the list goes on and on. Women are not emotionaly nor intellectually compromised. Since all is god's will, why is it that Allah, in the modern era, proves Islam's old ways to be wrong?

Saying that women are more affected by emotional influences is not meant to be degrading , on the contrary it makes perfect sense with her being a mother
No one claimed that she can't excel in many jobs...however ,her priority should always be her family

I study medicine...and few months ahead i am going to be a doctor myself....i am good at what i do...and sometimes my grades are better than my brother's.....However , I see no need to deny my femininity and the emotional aspect by which I was blessed...i don't see this to be degrading , nor does it make me intellectually compromised

If by Islam old ways , you mean making the family a priority in the woman's life...then i gurantee to you that the modern era proves it to be perfectly logic...statistics say that the majority of prisoners come from dissociated families

So ,if my baby needs me..i'd rather be there for him...instead of becoming a fighter pilot..., and if my husband needs me...i'd rather comfort him...conquer his heart...and probably postpone my plans to conquer the space

 

[Sahar]

Very well said, maro. Excellent post.

 

[Beyondo]

Saying that women are more affected by emotional influences is not meant to be degrading , on the contrary it makes perfect sense with her being a mother
No one claimed that she can't excel in many jobs...however ,her priority should always be her family

I study medicine...and few months ahead i am going to be a doctor myself....i am good at what i do...and sometimes my grades are better than my brother's.....However , I see no need to deny my femininity and the emotional aspect by which I was blessed...i don't see this to be degrading , nor does it make me intellectually compromised

If by Islam old ways , you mean making the family a priority in the woman's life...then i gurantee to you that the modern era proves it to be perfectly logic...statistics say that the majority of prisoners come from dissociated families

So ,if my baby needs me..i'd rather be there for him...instead of becoming a fighter pilot..., and if my husband needs me...i'd rather comfort him...conquer his heart...and probably postpone my plans to conquer the space

While your idealism to devotion of family values is commendable the environment of today's society has changed dramatically. If you where my wife, , I think we would by much better off having you work because of the income a doctor can command. We as a family are better off with two incomes instead of one. As such then how children are raised and how careers over family are prioritize change dramatically.

Also under Islam your career paths are limited, even as a doctor; e.g. Running a hospital. In fact I believe that women as leaders in any field is not acceptable under Islamic nations, am I correct?

 

[.lava]

From this perspective how could a woman be a "Nobel" prize winner, doctor, lawyer, astonomer, police dective, secret service agent, astronaut, fighter pilot, etc. If such an ability as you mentioned requires intelligence and the ability to be objective rather than subjective to emotional influences. Women have been scientist who have won "Nobel Prizes", in fact the first person to win two Nobel Prizes in their life time is Marie Skłodowska Curie, a woman. Also female astronauts were launched into space and were fighter pilots in the Soviet Union in the sixties! And so the list goes on and on. Women are not emotionaly nor intellectually compromised. Since all is god's will, why is it that Allah, in the modern era, proves Islam's old ways to be wrong?

there's a purpose of marriage. there is a commitment. people hope to live happy lives together. it sometimes means to sacrifice.

men are not all the same. i've met ladies who's even more social than me, they are as old as my mother. their husbands support them for being active in social life. i've also met ladies who does not work, they are not that active socially. because their husbands are jealous or afraid of outside world. in marriage both parties should care and pay attention for how his/her mate feels. when one of them ignores the other, there is no chance for happiness. IMO people should be aware of their aims in life and should chose the right person for marriage. if a woman wants to make carrier, then she should let her partner know about it. if a man wants his wife to be at home, then he should be honest about it and let her know. people should not hide this kind of stuff from each other because they make a promise to keep for a life time. they should know whom they are going to marry. at least certain issues should be clear. after all they depend on each other to be happy

.

 

[Sahar]

While your idealism to devotion of family values is commendable the environment of today's society has changed dramatically. If you where my wife, , I think we would by much better off having you work because of the income a doctor can command. We as a family are better off with two incomes instead of one. As such then how children are raised and how careers over family are prioritize change dramatically.

What if the husband's income is enough and more?
Income is not the sole purpose for the working woman.

Also under Islam your career paths are limited, even as a doctor; e.g. Running a hospital. In fact I believe that women as leaders in any field is not acceptable under Islamic nations, am I correct?

You are wrong.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

How are wives held accountable for their behavior within a marriage?

How are husbands held accountable for their behavior within a marriage?

 

[maro]

While your idealism to devotion of family values is commendable the environment of today's society has changed dramatically. If you where my wife, , I think we would by much better off having you work because of the income a doctor can command. We as a family are better off with two incomes instead of one. As such then how children are raised and how careers over family are prioritize change dramatically.

Generally speaking , Islam doesn't oppose the work of women...i guess it's something for both partners to discuss and agree upon ,after all

However , providing for the family is considered mainly the man's responsibility in Islam...but if the wife wants to help her husband with that...there's no problem

Also under Islam your career paths are limited, even as a doctor; e.g. Running a hospital. In fact I believe that women as leaders in any field is not acceptable under Islamic nations, am I correct?

No ,not true...there's no particular restrictions except some of the jobs that are not viewed as appropriate for a woman's biological and psycological structure...the example that comes to my mind ,is the fighter pilot ,you have mentioned....i don't see women as fighters , mine workers or police officers...etc.

However , i can run a hospital if i am qualified for it...why not ?!....I can also become a leader if i enjoy the leadership qualities

I want you to read this thread and tell me what you think : http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/islam/55591-unique-muslim-women.html?highlight=unique

 

[maro]

How are wives held accountable for their behavior within a marriage?

How are husbands held accountable for their behavior within a marriage?

Both are held accountable infront of Allah in the judgment day . And in this life ,the man is particularly held accountable by the law to provide for his family

Does that answer you question ,Mystic ?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Both are held accountable infront of Allah in the judgment day . And in this life ,the man is particularly held accountable by the law to provide for his family

Does that answer you question ,Mystic ?

Partially, yes.

What laws hold the husband accountable to provide for his family? I don't want to come off as trite. I really want to learn and understand.

 

[Beyondo]

Generally speaking , Islam doesn't oppose the work of women...i guess it's something for both partners to discuss and agree upon ,after all

However , providing for the family is considered mainly the man's responsibility in Islam...but if the wife wants to help her husband with that...there's no problem

Countries like the United States, where cost of living is astonomical and taxing can be as high as 40% of income makes the necessity for the wife to work. In some European countries the taxes are even higher. I believe in the UK one needs to even pay for a license to watch TV! So payng for good educations and savings for college and retirement does require a second income on average in the U.S.

No ,not true...there's no particular restrictions except some of the jobs that are not viewed as appropriate for a woman's biological and psycological structure...the example that comes to my mind ,is the fighter pilot ,you have mentioned....i don't see women as fighters , mine workers or police officers...etc.

Then I'm right there is a career limit and some positions are not deemed appropriate for women because of a compromise in abilities in comparison to men. Which BTW has been proven wrong in 99% of all jobs that men do. The only one I can think of is a firefighter where the upper body strength of a woman could not lift a man out of a falling roof.

I want you to read this thread and tell me what you think : http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/islam/55591-unique-muslim-women.html?highlight=unique

Wow the use of the word Masturbation! Now I'll never look at a woman of Islam under all that clothing the same! But I do remember a show on TV called "No Reservations" The host goes to different places around the globe and immerses himself in that culture's cusine. One episode was in Saudi Arabia. It showed how the women were actually wearing the latest fashions, even thongs, under what I call the "shroud".

I guess things can get kinky under Islamic marriage. :drool:

 

[maro]

What laws hold the husband accountable to provide for his family? I don't want to come off as trite. I really want to learn and understand.

Those are informative links on the topic of 'Maintainance ' in Islam

The Philosophy of Maintenance in Islam || Imam Reza (A.S.) Network

Muslim Personal Law

from the second link :

A husband is legally bound to maintain his wife during the subsistence of the marriage in accordance with his means and position in life. The right of the wife to maintenance is subject to the condition that she is not refractory or does not refuse to live with her husband without a lawful cause such as non-payment of dower
The wife may sue for maintenance either in the civil court or apply (in the absence of a special contract) to the Criminal Court.

 

[fatima_bintu_islam]

Just to add an example: say you work for 700$ a month, and your wife is running a hospital as you suggested and gain 10000$ per month; under Islamic law, you have no right to ask her for her money, its all for her; she can keep it all for herself; as for you, even though you are payed 100 times less than her, you are still obliged to spend your money on feeding and clothing her ( of course thats in case your wife is heartless).
So, what intrigues me is, how much often I see people preaching that Islam opresses women, and they never talk about men.
You see in Islam, each member of the couple has rules that suit their nature; if I was a real feminist I wouldnt see me as a firefighter, how beautiful is that ? Our beauty is in our shyness and modesty, not in us trying to look or strive like men; and why should we ? Are they better than us?

As for ladies working and running societies, then the best example you can get is the first wife of the prophet sallalahu 'alayhi wassalm khadija who was a big trader among the arabs, known for her piety and chastity.

On another hand; when you said that prices are high and women must work ; then it shows how Islam protected women from being obliged to work, everyone around them must provide for them ; her father, her husband, her child , and if she ever think of having a job just for a fun of it , then its up to her to do so. (Of course, Im talking about relatives who can afford taking care of her) .

So as you can see, and since women are well known for their need to feel that someone cares about them constantly ( ask any women, a survey showed that women needs at least 5 compliments every day ) , Islam prescribed on men to watch and care after them.

But you will never see anyone preaching this about Islam, its all about " they are wearing veils!", they can go outside their homes!" , but whoever WANTS to know the truth , he'll search for it and he'll find it.

Best regards

 

[maro]

Concept of marriage in Islam ~continuation

-“surely in this”: this is to mention that what came in the words of the verse so far is positively…

-“signs”/”aya’s’”: here is a repetition of the word “aya” also in the plural form, this is meant by Allah Almighty to remind the reader that it is not a simple thing to differentiate two sexes from the same origin; to remodel them to match each other, and to put all these positive feelings in the one towards the other… Really, especially this matter of feelings is not at all a facile process to be created. Coming to the last word in this amazing Quranic verse;

-“for people who are reflecting”: the exact word means verbally:

1st: thinking about-cerbrate

2nd: consideration-contemplation

3rd: reflection-mediation-cogitation

4th: pondering-musin-speculation

5th: thought-intellection-reasoning

From all these above-mentioned meanings of this word, we clearly conclude the substantial meaning, that is Allah here wants to attract readers’ attention saying that this Quranic verse is not as simple as to be read verbally and that’s it; but to be read, understood, thought about very deeply, picked up its profound meanings which are there beyond the mere words, here why he mentioned the way of carrying out this whole process of marriage, and of leading a happy marital life, and here is why he is making an alert for the reader that he should reread, reunderstand, cerebrate, all the in-mentioned meanings (in the verse) for the purpose of Allah to be fulfilled, so as to avoid ruining marital lives which are the most holy and sacred link mostly desired by Allah.

And here ends the Quranic verse which settles the rules and the principles that are now requested by the specialized psychologists and marriage counselors to be followed in order to achieve a maximally successful marital life.​