Meditation Routines

[Windwalker]

You have shared the link before, and it's the link itself that I find unclear. It's described so generally that I can't really map my experiences onto it. What kinds of things indicate a causal experience, for example? When I feel water running through me but it's really white light, is that subtle level? I'd never know by Wilber's description.

I actually don't believe these are Wilber's terms but they come from various traditions, and he is simply speaking to what is described with those terms. I should check on the origins of the terms. Yes, they are very general descriptions, a very high-level overview which never really helps going too deep. What you describe above as light running through you like water that is a subtle level experience. Definitely. Even in his high-level descriptions, he speaks to this very thing,

You see the Light, and sometimes this Light literally shines like the light of a thousand suns. It overwhelms you, empowers you, energizes you, remakes you, drenches you. This is what scholars have called the “numinous” nature of subtle spirit. Numinous and luminous. This is, I believe, why saints are universally depicted with halos of light around their heads. That is actually what they see. Divine Light.
​

There are further distinctions he doesn't get into between low and high subtle states, and low and high causal states. The causal state is where all gross, psychic, and subtle phenomena dissolve. It's all a process of identification with and subsequent disidentification with these various forms. In subtle state phenomena, we identify with the light, in relation to it, with the deity, with the energy. We become this. We identify ourselves with this. In causal states that identification is transcended and it dissolves into us. They drop away, and you are just sitting, resting in Emptiness, of a state of formless being. It could be described as being the unmoved mover, Buddha Mind, Christ Consciousness. Stillness, the Ground out of which all phenomena arises. But you are not identified as any of that which arises. You are the Source.

The nondual then is beyond this, where Emptiness is none other than form, and form is none other than Emptiness. You now identify with everything, and see everything as an expression of the Self. Everything becomes transparent, and that subtle light you see, is present in everything. You see the gross, the subtle, and the causal in everything. You no longer are stuck in exclusive identification with the gross world. You now see that subtle reality. You see emptiness, or the causal. It is all levels flowing and moving, dancing and vibrating. And in all of it, is is who you are. I describe it as, "Seeing, knowing, and being love, light, and energy from everything, to everything, from the world to you, from you to the world". This is the experience of reality of the nondual.

 

[mystic64]

Guys, your approach to things is way different than mine. Humm? Like Spentamaynu I have never had a physically present/face to face teacher and like him I have always wanted one but that never happened. And my approach to things is more "yogi" than it is Buddhism, Zen, or Tao/Dao. I understand what you are saying and I have experienced what you are saying but my approach to things has been totally different. My original purpose for studying meditation was to achieve the yoked/union with God state of being. God being defined as what most of Christianity would consider the definition God. My definition of God has changed over the years because of what I have experienced, but my goal has not changed. And my guidance has always come from somewhere else as a pure mystic experience. I ask and I get answers. I ask and I get experiences. I am, and have been sense I was five years old, in a constant state of dialog in a mind to mind sense with those/that which that exist in the metaphysical (for lack of any other term).

Quote Windwalker: "The subtle Deity or Light--those are all just archetypes of your own Being."

Based on my experience, that is actually true . Most folks get out there and they go, "Whoa! I am experiencing God!" When actually what they are experiencing is only their higher self. God/the profoundly power force with a conscious mind is totally different than that . And this higher self when realized is what one uses as a foundation/beginning point to start the yoking process with the profoundly powerful force with a conscious mind. If that is what they wish to do, because they do not have to if they do not want to. And what is funny based on my experience is that this profoundly powerful force with a conscious mind is not a deity .

So ok with all of that said how was my approach to things different to your guys approach based on what I was guided to do in a mind to mind sense? The next step was the meditations that begin to/result in the waking up of the major neural nexes that are generally known as "chakras". The major seven that are in the physical body to maintain the physical body and the chakras that are above one's head to enable one to experience and understand the higher/deeper metaphysical along with also the waking up the chakras that are beneath the physical body to ground the higher chakras that are above the head. And these meditations increace, over time, the neural density of the areas in one's brain that correspond to/with all of these thirteen chakras. And the greater the neural density of these and other areas of your brain are, the more awake/aware you are. Some folks are just born with this neural density, but somefolks like me had to develope it over time. Which is why there are meditations that go with the yoga/yoked, the Buddhist, and Tao/Dao approaches to the seeking of the enlightened state of being. The problem is that the internet does not teach these meditations, which is why unless one is born with these higher brain neural densities, they never experience the higher states of realization/enlightenment.

Folks that have these areas of higher brain neural density are attempting to explain to those that do not have these areas of higher brain neural density the different levels of the enlightenment experience and the folks that do not have these areas of higher brain neural density are constantly wondering why they never seem to experience these different levels of the enlightenment experience .

Based on my experience, the simplest way to get started is to practice slowly opening the lotus flower horizonally in the area just above the top of your head to wake up the chakra that is just above the top of your head while at the sametime visualizing and feeling the area just underneath your tush as being the planet Earth and its tremendous mass to ground the chakra that you are waking up that is just above the top of your head. And if you do this, over time, you "are" going to one day wake up different . And what is funny is that this meditation will also wake up, over time, all of the chakras in your physical body as a side effect because it automatically creates a flow of energy from the top and bottom through your body and this energy flows both up and down at the sametime. Automatically.

Mystie

 

[faustina]

Hi everyone. This is my first post on these forums. I found this thread interesting so I decided to post and share here. I'm married to @well named and I've been lurking for a little while...

I don't know exactly where meditation and prayer cross over the line and become the same thing, or if they do, but for me it begins with what I would call warming the heart, with an intent to worship God within my heart and with my entire being. I get up in the morning and sincerely seek the Lover of my heart. Most times when I begin I feel tired and pretty lukewarm, because it is early morning. Sometimes my mind is restless. I ask that the mind be quieted and the heart opened. Sometimes I read inspirational writings, although I do that less these days. Sometimes I will listen to music that acts as an agent in opening my heart, moving me into a more simple, sincere place of being. I can't make this happen, I can only pave the way for it to happen. Sometimes i find myself moved to kiss the feet of an icon in my home, sometimes I am moved to do prostrations before this icon. I never do this in a forced way, but rather it's spontaneous acts of love as my heart is moved to do so. Sometimes I dance before the icon. In short, whatever spontaneously comes up authentically, it opens me to touching the Presence of God.

Although I'm not Roman Catholic, I am drawn to pray at the time the visionaries in Medjugorje are having their daily apparitions. Which is mid-morning in the time zone I live in. I have prayed at this time for years, and prepare myself as best as i can to be open to her Presence at the time of her coming.

Well named often lights incense at our altar in our home right before I begin to pray and he then moves throughout our home blessing the space. I either kneel or lay down and begin with mental prayer, like the Lords prayer, as a way of entrance to Mystical union. I use the Rosary as a way to focus. These days I do not focus so much mentally on the form of words, but initially I pray words in a reverential way, as the mind is stilled. During the hour or so that I pray my mind can be in a number of different places: quiet, restless, bored, moved. I have found I have zero control over my human state and noisy mind so I tend to not focus on what I am experiencing so much as a kind of experiential non focus. I guess what i am trying to say is, I don't try to have experiences or any particular outcome to it all, but just to be with whatever is, with my heart set steadily on expressing love which has no words. During meditation/prayer I would say my spirit/heart strives for contact with the Divine as though I have not had water in days, but my mind is content with simply being with no expectations. For whatever 'this' is, it seems to be beyond me, yet in me.
I am mildly aware of my chest getting very hot, also sometimes experiencing a multitude of physical sensations as well as a multitude of spiritual states or transitions at the onset and in the midst of prayer. But I tend to kinda see these things as spin offs rather than as the point of prayer itself. I have always seen energy moving about the body or moving up the spine as a means to an end, like when the moorings are dropped from a ship as it moves beyond the shores. It's necessary for a successful launch but when the ship begins to sail out of the harbor, they are not important.

My focus is union of hearts. I have found I can not in anyway force it, so i wait in the Silence. A waiting without expectation. I never know how Love will manifest. Sometimes with unspeakable intimate joy that transcends the human, or an absorption so intense where I have felt completely annihilated, leaving me for a considerable length of time scarcely aware of my own existence.

I also pray daily at 3 p.m. another catholic prayer that has very special personal meaning for me. That prayer being the chaplet of the Divine Mercy. Although an Orthodox Christian at this time in my life, i had a profound direct experience of God that radically altered my life back in 1996. It was at a time i knew nothing of such things, so i was particularly caught off guard. I guess one might call it my being blown away by the Divine much in the way Saul/ Paul was was on the road to Damascus.

i might add here it is my hearts desire to remain always in prayer and meditation. I use the Jesus prayer for this throughout the day so i might stay in continual remembrance of God, or another way of saying it is unceasing prayer, as this is where i derive life from, so that I may touch the hem of Christ within and be a vessel of love and mercy consciously.

 

[Windwalker]

i had a profound direct experience of God that radically altered my life back in 1996. It was at a time i knew nothing of such things, so i was particularly caught off guard. I guess one might call it my being blown away by the Divine much in the way Saul/ Paul was was on the road to Damascus.

Welcome, and I enjoyed reading your first post. Not to weigh things down with the many things I could respond to, this stood out particularly to. You and I share a similar "Damascus road" experience which began my own path. In reading your approach to these things, I thought of the member @Vouthon who recommended a book to me I think you would find value in, if you have not already read this: Into the Silent Land. Interestingly enough, I was just reading it myself this afternoon.

 

[mystic64]

Hi everyone. This is my first post on these forums. I found this thread interesting so I decided to post and share here. I'm married to @well named and I've been lurking for a little while...

I don't know exactly where meditation and prayer cross over the line and become the same thing, or if they do, but for me it begins with what I would call warming the heart, with an intent to worship God within my heart and with my entire being. I get up in the morning and sincerely seek the Lover of my heart. Most times when I begin I feel tired and pretty lukewarm, because it is early morning. Sometimes my mind is restless. I ask that the mind be quieted and the heart opened. Sometimes I read inspirational writings, although I do that less these days. Sometimes I will listen to music that acts as an agent in opening my heart, moving me into a more simple, sincere place of being. I can't make this happen, I can only pave the way for it to happen. Sometimes i find myself moved to kiss the feet of an icon in my home, sometimes I am moved to do prostrations before this icon. I never do this in a forced way, but rather it's spontaneous acts of love as my heart is moved to do so. Sometimes I dance before the icon. In short, whatever spontaneously comes up authentically, it opens me to touching the Presence of God.

Although I'm not Roman Catholic, I am drawn to pray at the time the visionaries in Medjugorje are having their daily apparitions. Which is mid-morning in the time zone I live in. I have prayed at this time for years, and prepare myself as best as i can to be open to her Presence at the time of her coming.

Well named often lights incense at our altar in our home right before I begin to pray and he then moves throughout our home blessing the space. I either kneel or lay down and begin with mental prayer, like the Lords prayer, as a way of entrance to Mystical union. I use the Rosary as a way to focus. These days I do not focus so much mentally on the form of words, but initially I pray words in a reverential way, as the mind is stilled. During the hour or so that I pray my mind can be in a number of different places: quiet, restless, bored, moved. I have found I have zero control over my human state and noisy mind so I tend to not focus on what I am experiencing so much as a kind of experiential non focus. I guess what i am trying to say is, I don't try to have experiences or any particular outcome to it all, but just to be with whatever is, with my heart set steadily on expressing love which has no words. During meditation/prayer I would say my spirit/heart strives for contact with the Divine as though I have not had water in days, but my mind is content with simply being with no expectations. For whatever 'this' is, it seems to be beyond me, yet in me.
I am mildly aware of my chest getting very hot, also sometimes experiencing a multitude of physical sensations as well as a multitude of spiritual states or transitions at the onset and in the midst of prayer. But I tend to kinda see these things as spin offs rather than as the point of prayer itself. I have always seen energy moving about the body or moving up the spine as a means to an end, like when the moorings are dropped from a ship as it moves beyond the shores. It's necessary for a successful launch but when the ship begins to sail out of the harbor, they are not important.

My focus is union of hearts. I have found I can not in anyway force it, so i wait in the Silence. A waiting without expectation. I never know how Love will manifest. Sometimes with unspeakable intimate joy that transcends the human, or an absorption so intense where I have felt completely annihilated, leaving me for a considerable length of time scarcely aware of my own existence.

I also pray daily at 3 p.m. another catholic prayer that has very special personal meaning for me. That prayer being the chaplet of the Divine Mercy. Although an Orthodox Christian at this time in my life, i had a profound direct experience of God that radically altered my life back in 1996. It was at a time i knew nothing of such things, so i was particularly caught off guard. I guess one might call it my being blown away by the Divine much in the way Saul/ Paul was was on the road to Damascus.

i might add here it is my hearts desire to remain always in prayer and meditation. I use the Jesus prayer for this throughout the day so i might stay in continual remembrance of God, or another way of saying it is unceasing prayer, as this is where i derive life from, so that I may touch the hem of Christ within and be a vessel of love and mercy consciously.

Hi Faustina and welcome to the message board! Prayer is the process of seeking and/or achieving active communication with one or more of the Divine. Meditation is generally the process of, in one way or an other. exploring and developing the potientials of one's own mind. Now if one's meditation goals are to explore the mind's potiential for communicating with the Divine , that is other than one's higher self, then meditation and prayer become meditative prayer which then brings one in to a mind spirit union with the the Divine and the distance between that which is you and that which is the Divine becomes minimal to sometimes non existant. And you and the Divine are sharing the Divine's experience as one. In the Siddha Yoga traditon this would be called samadi with the Divine and in the Christian tradition this would be called ecstacy.

 

[faustina]

Welcome, and I enjoyed reading your first post. Not to weigh things down with the many things I could respond to, this stood out particularly to. You and I share a similar "Damascus road" experience which began my own path. In reading your approach to these things, I thought of the member @Vouthon who recommended a book to me I think you would find value in, if you have not already read this: Into the Silent Land. Interestingly enough, I was just reading it myself this afternoon.

Thank you for the welcome! Yes, i guess many of us on the path begin with a profound direct experience of the Divine that begins our journey on the path .. and as the years go by we open to a deeper understanding of that experience more fully. I have read the book ' Into the Silent Land ' as well as Martin Laird's other book, ' A Sunlite Absence'. I was talking with Well Named last night and he has another book of his called, 'Gregory of Nyssa and the Grasp of Faith'. I may get around reading that one of these days. I did enjoy the books.. i read them a few years back.

 

[faustina]

Hi Faustina and welcome to the message board! Prayer is the process of seeking and/or achieving active communication with one or more of the Divine. Meditation is generally the process of, in one way or an other. exploring and developing the potientials of one's own mind. Now if one's meditation goals are to explore the mind's potiential for communicating with the Divine , that is other than one's higher self, then meditation and prayer become meditative prayer which then brings one in to a mind spirit union with the the Divine and the distance between that which is you and that which is the Divine becomes minimal to sometimes non existant. And you and the Divine are sharing the Divine's experience as one. In the Siddha Yoga traditon this would be called samadi with the Divine and in the Christian tradition this would be called ecstacy.

Hi mystic64, thank you for the welcome! Sorry for the empty post for a while.. the phone rang and i clicked the post reply accidentally before i even began responding to your post. I appreciate your sharing. I didn't know in the beginning that I was exploring the minds potential for communicating with the Divine, it just kinda took on a life of it own.. like a spiritual Forrest Gump I just went with it. Seems I have always been led to what I have needed as a shift occurs within consciousness. Coming from the Christian tradition, there was little direction coming from within the the visible church as to what was occurring within me when i prayed and meditated. i didn't even know i was meditating! i had never been taught to know what meditation was! I am thankful for being led to Eastern thought for a while so i could come to grips with what was happening within me and how to deal with it .. sadly, unless you are acquainted with a monastery, in Christianity it is hard to find support for moving deeply within the Divine. I have always felt that grace is what kept me sane and led me to what i needed as i have needed it . i am grateful.

 

[TurkeyOnRye]

To the extent that I have a routine, which I don't, it goes something like this:

Generally I will meditate on the floor, in the office chair, or whatever place I feel best qualifies. Typically, I will find myself arbitrary drawn to a point in 4-dimensional space, and in that I choose to meditate. I will take a seated position and take a deeply-relaxed breath. Here, a dead space opens up, and thoughts back off like ripples flowing away from center. Taking note of sensory inputs, it is possible to observe the divergence of a thought from a particular piece of sensory data, say a sound.

Continuing, I will blink slowly a few times, and rest deeply into myself, finally closing them completely. I don't put very much methodology into my meditation anymore. At least none that is easily translated into words. In a manner of speaking, I've learned to allow myself to be led by my nose to navigate this internal environment. Whichever way smells most appealing, I automatically consent to explore that direction.

Proceeding from this point, the kind of experience that ensues tends to vary greatly, so I will describe one in particular, but generally so.

I will usually employ a short mantra, a sound, near the beginning of the meditation. The shape it takes is somewhat unusual. It is neither a whisper nor a thought...something in between. And as it emerges and takes form, it sort of "bounces" in unpredictable fashion inside a thread-like tube that my inhales and exhales pass through. Then at an unpredictable moment, usually at the bottom of a breath, the mantra merges with something far more complete and meaningful. An infinity of supreme lasting being. But you know intuitively that there's still more.

Continuing, my sense of gravity begins to change. No longer does it pull from beneath my feet. It pulls from a center that is within me, but paradoxically, that center is me. Again, intuitively, one knows that there is no limit to the depth of that center, and in that knowing, you let it take you as far it will. In that center, the felt margins and boundaries of the as-seen body become more like doors through which mysterious vessels pass. There is a gentle and extraordinary show of colors never seen before, and a multidimensional perception of space that is utterly multifaceted upon every approach.

And then, as every one of them does, the experience begins to end. The colors begin to merge into familiar shapes and feelings. The boundaries of my identity re-emerge and I find myself once-again seated in the accommodating space of my human body. There is a lingering after-feeling. It is pleasant and lasts the rest of the day, but I would tell no one of where it came from. It's my secret.

Until now of course.

 

[mystic64]

Hi mystic64, thank you for the welcome! Sorry for the empty post for a while.. the phone rang and i clicked the post reply accidentally before i even began responding to your post. I appreciate your sharing. I didn't know in the beginning that I was exploring the minds potential for communicating with the Divine, it just kinda took on a life of it own.. like a spiritual Forrest Gump I just went with it. Seems I have always been led to what I have needed as a shift occurs within consciousness. Coming from the Christian tradition, there was little direction coming from within the the visible church as to what was occurring within me when i prayed and meditated. i didn't even know i was meditating! i had never been taught to know what meditation was! I am thankful for being led to Eastern thought for a while so i could come to grips with what was happening within me and how to deal with it .. sadly, unless you are acquainted with a monastery, in Christianity it is hard to find support for moving deeply within the Divine. I have always felt that grace is what kept me sane and led me to what i needed as i have needed it . i am grateful.

I experienced the profound experience that you are mentioning when I was five years old with my first prayer to God in the name of Christ Jesus. And like you I have always been lead to what has been needed as a shift occurs within consciousness. And around twenty years old (I am now almost sixty-six) I like you desired a deeper moving into the Divine and did not find support for it in Christianity so because the yogi folk back then (late sixties, early seventies) were promising that kind of experience I begin to explore the yogi approach to things. And the first thing that I discovered was that you can't do it without a guru . So because I had always had a one on one relationship with Lord Jesus and because Yogananda said in his book "Autobiography of a Yogi" that Lord Jesus knew about the yogi stuff I asked Lord Jesus to be my Master/Teacher/Guru. He said yes and forty years and thousands of hours of meditation experience later I have a pretty good grasp of things along with I am still learning lots of new stuff. The journey for me up to this point has been very ruff because I started out with a lot of crumbly personallity programming that I picked up in my childhood, but after a lot of psychological changes over the years things are now getting interesting . And through all of this Lord Jesus has always been very patient with me and a solid rock that I could lean on through my trials and tribulations. My guide through the storms !

Faustina, if you have any questions about things or are just curious about something just ask and I would be happy, if you would wish, to share my take on things with you and you can then kick it around with Lord Jesus and then take things from there. Lord Jesus is your Lord and Savior, your Master, and your guide. I am just a fellow Christian sojourner.

 

[faustina]

Faustina, if you have any questions about things or are just curious about something just ask and I would be happy, if you would wish, to share my take on things with you and you can then kick it around with Lord Jesus and then take things from there. Lord Jesus is your Lord and Savior, your Master, and your guide. I am just a fellow Christian sojourner.

Mystic64, thank you for your offer. I would love to hear your take on things, especially on what I am going to write below. I am going through a period of great change. We are about the same age. I am 64, and although raised in the Church, i never 'got' the tenants of Christianity as a kid. I never resonated with all that intellectually conditioned stuff that I was being taught in grade school. It bored me. Even as a kid it didn't feel full enough. When I was about 7 years old I went to see the movie 'The Song of Bernadette'. This film affected me deeply. My little 2nd grade heart was blown wide open. I began to pray and meditate for hours at night in the darkness of my bedroom. I wanted connection like Bernadette had. I knew without doubt this was my heart's desire. It was through the inspiration of this film that the spiritual journey began for me; slowly, albeit with many detours throughout the years, trying on many hats to find my way, always that thread of movement toward the Divine was imprinted deep within and present within my heart, regardless of appearances.

In 1996 I had my 'A Ha!' moment, that road to Damascus moment, that knocked me on my rear end and blew me wide open. Even though fantastically wondrous it also threw me into spiritual emergency. Back then I was ignorant of ways to help myself cope with what was happening within me. When I prayed and meditated during that time, as I was even more inclined to do, it exacerbated my fears. I would become frozen like an ice cube, I would float out of my body and see all sorts of things, some lovely and some not so lovely. I sought the authority of the church for help and went through living hell as their ignorance only escalated my ungroundedness, with their false accusations that what I was experiencing might be of the Devil because I was the owner of a new age book store in town at the time. The only thing that got me through those years was grace and my trust in Jesus.

As I shared in the post above, I became acquainted with various forms of meditation techniques and insights through Eastern teaching that helped me balance. Over the years I became like a suction cup for more and more information. I read and explored hundreds of books that sincerely helped me understand this process, as well as meditation techniques that would serve to further help the awakening process. I spent a lot of time online listening to scores of facebook gurus, feverishly participating in online chat rooms. I am deeply grateful for ALL of it. I honestly do not know where I would be today without the support of such wonderful teachings and teachers and friends I have made along the way. But! All this had a very subtle effect on me over the years that had left me sad. It took away the innocent heart, the heart that knew nothing and flourished within Itself after my Damascus experience.

This great Lent I hit a wall. I no longer have had the energy, or for that matter the drive or desire, to DO anything. This was not a mental decision. Nothing earth shattering happened externally to open me to this new space. It simply happened. I was at our church on Good Friday. Everyone was bowing down in prostration before the most Holy Cross. When I hit the ground doing a prostration, I could not stand up. Everything that made used to sense in an outer way no longer made sense to me. What occurred was like having my mind erased in an instant. I don't think i could explain it anymore than this. I haven't been the same since. Maybe in private message we could talk about this more deeply as this thread is about meditation routine. Although what has happened has deeply changed my prayer and meditation routines.

There does seem to be a correlation to this new opening with the kundalini energy establishing itself more or less permanently up into my head. With each increasing vibrating plume of energy moving up the spine into the head creating a sort of sensation of a brain shudder. I just... stopped. Whatever time of day or night, regardless of what I am doing, this intense peace beyond words remains, rendering me helpless to any further pushing outward in the world in the ways I have in the past. So I am going with it, which seems to be leading me to yet another shoreline internally. My meditation routine is in the process of great transformation, but I am not doing it by means of active prayer or meditation. I find i have no desire to meditate or pray. More accurately, I feel dead. I am being emptied of spiritual striving and all its associations. Instead of words, words and more words, intellectual insights that clutter the head with more noise that block out 'this'... which no words could ever come close to describing. Instead of meditating or praying to move into this. It seems to be taking up permanent residence within. This quietness and emptiness and sense of being IS fullness. There is no work here.

So... the new meditation routine for me is no routine.

How this new way of being is manifesting externally is that I find myself being more present naturally. Feeling the wet ground under my feet when I water the garden, hearing the roar of the thunder storms as they pass, echoing their rumble in the valley below our home this Spring. Snuggling with my baby love (Well Named) and looking deeply into his eyes and hearing the beat of his heart when I rest in his arms, REALLY 'hearing' the thrill of laughter of our Granddaughter when she squeals in delight because the cat tickles her nose when he rubs up against her. No words, and a much less constant stream of concepts jiggling through my brain.

I have always been a high achiever, one who has always felt an internal drive and push, focused on some other 'thing' to do or achieve. Now, i have no desire to do any of that, even within my prayer life. This has ceased. Maybe the outer teachings arrive in whatever form they must and vanish when one least expects them to do so? All is taking on a whole new twist. No place to go, nothing to do; just be. Nothing is of particular interest, yet paradoxically there is a quiet vibrancy in everything as I allow this process to take me away from all that I have known. There is an easy tumble within myself. What a blessed day it is...

 

[mystic64]

Mystic64, thank you for your offer. I would love to hear your take on things, especially on what I am going to write below. I am going through a period of great change. We are about the same age. I am 64, and although raised in the Church, i never 'got' the tenants of Christianity as a kid. I never resonated with all that intellectually conditioned stuff that I was being taught in grade school. It bored me. Even as a kid it didn't feel full enough. When I was about 7 years old I went to see the movie 'The Song of Bernadette'. This film affected me deeply. My little 2nd grade heart was blown wide open. I began to pray and meditate for hours at night in the darkness of my bedroom. I wanted connection like Bernadette had. I knew without doubt this was my heart's desire. It was through the inspiration of this film that the spiritual journey began for me; slowly, albeit with many detours throughout the years, trying on many hats to find my way, always that thread of movement toward the Divine was imprinted deep within and present within my heart, regardless of appearances.

In 1996 I had my 'A Ha!' moment, that road to Damascus moment, that knocked me on my rear end and blew me wide open. Even though fantastically wondrous it also threw me into spiritual emergency. Back then I was ignorant of ways to help myself cope with what was happening within me. When I prayed and meditated during that time, as I was even more inclined to do, it exacerbated my fears. I would become frozen like an ice cube, I would float out of my body and see all sorts of things, some lovely and some not so lovely. I sought the authority of the church for help and went through living hell as their ignorance only escalated my ungroundedness, with their false accusations that what I was experiencing might be of the Devil because I was the owner of a new age book store in town at the time. The only thing that got me through those years was grace and my trust in Jesus.

As I shared in the post above, I became acquainted with various forms of meditation techniques and insights through Eastern teaching that helped me balance. Over the years I became like a suction cup for more and more information. I read and explored hundreds of books that sincerely helped me understand this process, as well as meditation techniques that would serve to further help the awakening process. I spent a lot of time online listening to scores of facebook gurus, feverishly participating in online chat rooms. I am deeply grateful for ALL of it. I honestly do not know where I would be today without the support of such wonderful teachings and teachers and friends I have made along the way. But! All this had a very subtle effect on me over the years that had left me sad. It took away the innocent heart, the heart that knew nothing and flourished within Itself after my Damascus experience.

This great Lent I hit a wall. I no longer have had the energy, or for that matter the drive or desire, to DO anything. This was not a mental decision. Nothing earth shattering happened externally to open me to this new space. It simply happened. I was at our church on Good Friday. Everyone was bowing down in prostration before the most Holy Cross. When I hit the ground doing a prostration, I could not stand up. Everything that made used to sense in an outer way no longer made sense to me. What occurred was like having my mind erased in an instant. I don't think i could explain it anymore than this. I haven't been the same since. Maybe in private message we could talk about this more deeply as this thread is about meditation routine. Although what has happened has deeply changed my prayer and meditation routines.

There does seem to be a correlation to this new opening with the kundalini energy establishing itself more or less permanently up into my head. With each increasing vibrating plume of energy moving up the spine into the head creating a sort of sensation of a brain shudder. I just... stopped. Whatever time of day or night, regardless of what I am doing, this intense peace beyond words remains, rendering me helpless to any further pushing outward in the world in the ways I have in the past. So I am going with it, which seems to be leading me to yet another shoreline internally. My meditation routine is in the process of great transformation, but I am not doing it by means of active prayer or meditation. I find i have no desire to meditate or pray. More accurately, I feel dead. I am being emptied of spiritual striving and all its associations. Instead of words, words and more words, intellectual insights that clutter the head with more noise that block out 'this'... which no words could ever come close to describing. Instead of meditating or praying to move into this. It seems to be taking up permanent residence within. This quietness and emptiness and sense of being IS fullness. There is no work here.

So... the new meditation routine for me is no routine.

How this new way of being is manifesting externally is that I find myself being more present naturally. Feeling the wet ground under my feet when I water the garden, hearing the roar of the thunder storms as they pass, echoing their rumble in the valley below our home this Spring. Snuggling with my baby love (Well Named) and looking deeply into his eyes and hearing the beat of his heart when I rest in his arms, REALLY 'hearing' the thrill of laughter of our Granddaughter when she squeals in delight because the cat tickles her nose when he rubs up against her. No words, and a much less constant stream of concepts jiggling through my brain.

I have always been a high achiever, one who has always felt an internal drive and push, focused on some other 'thing' to do or achieve. Now, i have no desire to do any of that, even within my prayer life. This has ceased. Maybe the outer teachings arrive in whatever form they must and vanish when one least expects them to do so? All is taking on a whole new twist. No place to go, nothing to do; just be. Nothing is of particular interest, yet paradoxically there is a quiet vibrancy in everything as I allow this process to take me away from all that I have known. There is an easy tumble within myself. What a blessed day it is...

Well faustina , based on my experience you have arrived. You have gone from the seeking of a download connection to the Divine to the automatic/automated download connection to the Divine as a state of being. You are looking through God's eyes and He is looking through yours. From this point it is just a matter of going with the flow and allowing it to be. Which I suspect you already know . I have not reached the point that you have reached in a solid sense. With me it comes and goes, but I am drifting in that direction and do expect it to become a permanent state of being eventually. And at this point it is lasting longer when it happens. My problem is that I am having trouble just letting go. I seem to still be somewhat attached to the things that slow me down . But this attachment is becoming less.

Faustina I would be honored to vist with you in private conversation. But I do think that you will be more help to me than I will be to you if we did this . So anyway I will send you a conversation request and we will see where our Lord and Master takes us. You have come at a point in my life where I need to interact with someone like you. Love, mystie/john

 

[Vouthon]

My 'meditation routine' (hyphenated since its not really 'Catholic lingo' so to speak ) is like peeling an orange, to get to the centre you have to cut away the outer layers, or rather as St. Teresa of Avila so succinctly but emotively expressed it:

The Interior Castle - Teresa Of Avila - Google Books

"...Imagine a palmetto fruit. Layer upon layer must be peeled away to reach the tasty part in the middle. So it is with the interior castle. Many rooms surround the central chamber..."

- St. Teresa of Avila
​

That is the utility of practice.