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Meeting Online Friends in Person

Wherenextcolumbus

Well-Known Member
Reading through this, I have to say I sometimes wonder why there is so much caution placed on 'online' people over folks run across day to day.

I've been in some truly dangerous situations, but those met me where I was without any electronic aid.

I can honestly say that I do not recommend online dating but there are different intentions behind that than just meeting as friends. I never had any bad experiences using a friendship app but online dating was the ghetto!
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
Back in 1989 or so I occasionally used IRC.


Anyway, I met a young man on a channel there who was confused, lonely, and suicidal. I agreed to meet him in person, so as to 'talk him down off the ledge.'

Fast forward almost 35 years, he is a dear friend, who has a nice family and is thriving.

That's a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it! I'm really glad you two met each other when you did. You changed his life.

I find it fascinating how some long-term bonds wouldn't have formed if either person had been online just a tiny bit earlier or later than they were. It makes me wonder how many people out there could have lifelong friendships if they could just have a chance to meet and know each other.
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
I'd heard so many horror stories about online meetups that by the time i started using forums I was wary of meeting anyone from online. I have however known a few people online for so long now that when one guy said he was visiting France we said we would meet.

A few of days before his arrival i was due a gallbladder op. Not a problem. Op in the morning, get clear of anesthetic and released from hospital, and I'd contact him when we could meet.

Only the op went seriously wrong. By the time i was able to leave hospital the guy had gone on with his journey.

A missed opportunity.

Sorry to hear you missed that opportunity. I'd be bummed too. I hope you've since been okay health-wise, though!
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
I’ve used a friendship app to meet people but that’s about it. I didn’t end up staying in contact with most of the people I met, only 2. I want friends but I find it draining to keep up socially with multiple people at once so I’ve had to accept and forgive my limitations. I would still meet people but I don’t spend much time online forming friendships these days

I can see your point. I've found that it usually takes a lot of mutual effort to form genuine friendships, especially from a distance—let alone maintain them over the long term.

Personally, I can meet any online friend that meets these criteria:

• Has a playfully silly sense of humor

• Is a member of RF

• Is from the UK

• Has "Wherenext" and "columbus" in their username.

If you find someone like that, let me know! I don't know why I have this feeling, but I suspect it would be kinda fun to hang out with them.
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
I've met a few online friends over the years going back to the BBS and FIDO network days and have found them to be pretty much as I found them online. Even met my wife online, we played backgammon for a few years and I got sick and wasn't expected to last much longer. She was planning a holiday with her mother and decided to come to Australia and visit before I kicked the bucket. That was 1998 and after 3 years of travelling between Australia and America we got married. She claims she saved my life and she could be right.

I'm glad you have outlived the illness. Quite a nice way to do so, too!
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
I've met three in person from online communities.

The first one lives a few hours from me in the same state, and we met at my daughter's funeral which she was kind enough to attend upon hearing about her passing, and subsequently, I went to her daughter's wedding. We haven't seen each other since, but we still keep in touch on FB.

The second lived two states away, and we met in the state between us and spent the day at Cedar Point. We both had a good time, and we kept in touch by phone for a bit, but life circumstances ultimately ended the connection.

The third lived three states away, she moved in with me, and we ended up playing house for about three years before we went our separate ways.

Do you see yourself being interested in meeting more people from the internet in the future?
 

SalixIncendium

अहं ब्रह्मास्मि
Staff member
Premium Member
Do you see yourself being interested in meeting more people from the internet in the future?
I have neither an interest nor an aversion to meeting anyone from the internet. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I won't be disappointed.

I had no interest in meeting anyone from the internet when I met the three people mentioned above. It just happened.

I'm guessing this thread isn't referring to meeting people who are selling stuff on websites such as FB marketplace or craigslist. Because I've met too many to count...two in the last week. One just yesterday.
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
It just dawned on me that you might have meant meeting someone from the internet for romantic involvement. If that was the case, I've moved past that part of my life. If I meet someone moving forward, it would just be socially.

I meant any social or personal context in which one has met an online friend or acquaintance, be it romantic or platonic.
 

Wherenextcolumbus

Well-Known Member
I can see your point. I've found that it usually takes a lot of mutual effort to form genuine friendships, especially from a distance—let alone maintain them over the long term.

Personally, I can meet any online friend that meets these criteria:

• Has a playfully silly sense of humor

• Is a member of RF

• Is from the UK

• Has "Wherenext" and "columbus" in their username.

If you find someone like that, let me know! I don't know why I have this feeling, but I suspect it would be kinda fun to hang out with them.

I know someone like that but don’t give her Tequila after midnight or she’ll get you both arrested for indecency
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
For me on RF, on-line friends should remain so.
That's how I know you guys. To know your voice,
appearance, & physical mannerisms would alter
my impression. I'll eschew that.

Scrap iron forums are different. We meet IRL.
BTW, ebay was once a social medium. It allowed
communicating with other buyers. I got to know
friends that way. Alas, ebay became rather
anonymous.
 
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Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
I don’t think my boyfriend would like the idea of me meeting an online friend lol (I don’t blame him). He has bid me to stop picking up hitchhikers for concern of my safety. I imagine he’d use the same caution.

It’s a crazy world with bad people in it, that’s for sure. But I like to think that there’s a few people on this site I’d be comfortable to grab a coffee with or something if I ever passed by their abode.
I'd be comfortable with a few people here too. By caution, I just meant things like checking their post history and meeting at restaurants. I'm not paranoid.
 

JustGeorge

Imperfect
Staff member
Premium Member
For me on RF, on-line friends should remain so.
That's how I know you guys. To know your voice,
appearance, & physical mannerisms would alter
my impression. I'll eschew that.

Scrap iron forums are different. We meet IRL.
BTW, ebay was once a social medium. It allowed
communicating with other buyers. I got to know
friends that way. Alas, ebay became rather
anonymous.
What would happen if a scrap iron person joined RF? Or an RFian took up scrap iron as a hobby?

(And what if the sky was made of concrete?)
 
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