Moral Dilemma

[Reptillian]

I have a cousin who is a Christian missionary. She currently works at a Christian school as a fund raiser, employee scout, and school job counselor for students. She is currently back in the United States collecting funds for the upcoming school year. I'm often invited to fundraisers and placed in a position where I could contribute to her mission.

The moral dilemma is this: on the one hand she is my relative and I feel like I should support her in cause and decisions, I mean she does give kids an access to an education that they otherwise wouldn't normally get. She also helps them to find employment or go on to college after school.

On the other hand I don't agree with her methods, its a Christian school that mixes religion and education (things which I firmly think should be separate) I also know for a fact that the school promotes Christianity and derides student's current beliefs. Teachers tell some students that atheism is immoral or that Buddhism and Christianity are incompatable. They teach them things like they are born sinful and that they should know Christ to be saved. (Basically in addition to teaching kids things like math and reading, they also engage in what I consider brainwashing)

I don't donate money for this reason, but should I? Does the good the school does in teaching kids to be literate and giving them access to further opportunities outweigh the harm?

 

[ChristineES]

You have the weight the two, and make your decision on what you feel would make the most positive difference.

 

[bobhikes]

I have a cousin who is a Christian missionary. She currently works at a Christian school as a fund raiser, employee scout, and school job counselor for students. She is currently back in the United States collecting funds for the upcoming school year. I'm often invited to fundraisers and placed in a position where I could contribute to her mission.

The moral dilemma is this: on the one hand she is my relative and I feel like I should support her in cause and decisions, I mean she does give kids an access to an education that they otherwise wouldn't normally get. She also helps them to find employment or go on to college after school.

On the other hand I don't agree with her methods, its a Christian school that mixes religion and education (things which I firmly think should be separate) I also know for a fact that the school promotes Christianity and derides student's current beliefs. Teachers tell some students that atheism is immoral or that Buddhism and Christianity are incompatable. They teach them things like they are born sinful and that they should know Christ to be saved. (Basically in addition to teaching kids things like math and reading, they also engage in what I consider brainwashing)

I don't donate money for this reason, but should I? Does the good the school does in teaching kids to be literate and giving them access to further opportunities outweigh the harm?

The choice is yours,

In my life I have a brother I don't agree with and would say he is wrong in what he does yet he is my brother and I support him when I can financially and emotionally.

Now, he's my brother I'm not sure I would do that with a cousin.

 

[horizon_mj1]

This is something I would consider in such a situation: Education is always a good thing if it is being done properly (to me Education should be based on Fact alone, and updated when Facts change): Personal Morality is also something I see as important, and if something directly infringes upon my Morals I do not have a problem making decisions for if I choose to do something against my Moral Beliefs, then I guess my Beliefs were not well founded:angel2:
What ever decision you make I see that good could come from either; Good Luck

 

[Breathe]

Personally, I still would if I were in your shoes, Reptilian.

People can take a second attempt at their faith. People don't always get a second chance at education, and many who end up with a poor education don't end up---and often can't end up---back in school. If I were in their shoes, I wouldn't care what they said about my religion, and if it came to it, I'd just meld in and let them think I was 'one of them'. I'd be thankful for the opportunities that this school brings, since as you said, it brings opportunities they wouldn't normally get.

My $0.02.

 

[sojourner]

I have a cousin who is a Christian missionary. She currently works at a Christian school as a fund raiser, employee scout, and school job counselor for students. She is currently back in the United States collecting funds for the upcoming school year. I'm often invited to fundraisers and placed in a position where I could contribute to her mission.

The moral dilemma is this: on the one hand she is my relative and I feel like I should support her in cause and decisions, I mean she does give kids an access to an education that they otherwise wouldn't normally get. She also helps them to find employment or go on to college after school.

On the other hand I don't agree with her methods, its a Christian school that mixes religion and education (things which I firmly think should be separate) I also know for a fact that the school promotes Christianity and derides student's current beliefs. Teachers tell some students that atheism is immoral or that Buddhism and Christianity are incompatable. They teach them things like they are born sinful and that they should know Christ to be saved. (Basically in addition to teaching kids things like math and reading, they also engage in what I consider brainwashing)

I don't donate money for this reason, but should I? Does the good the school does in teaching kids to be literate and giving them access to further opportunities outweigh the harm?

You can support her without supporting the methods.

 

[Revoltingest]

You have the weight the two, and make your decision on what you feel would make the most positive difference.

Yeah....what she said.

 

[thebigpicture]

I have a cousin who is a Christian missionary. She currently works at a Christian school as a fund raiser, employee scout, and school job counselor for students. She is currently back in the United States collecting funds for the upcoming school year. I'm often invited to fundraisers and placed in a position where I could contribute to her mission.

The moral dilemma is this: on the one hand she is my relative and I feel like I should support her in cause and decisions, I mean she does give kids an access to an education that they otherwise wouldn't normally get. She also helps them to find employment or go on to college after school.

On the other hand I don't agree with her methods, its a Christian school that mixes religion and education (things which I firmly think should be separate) I also know for a fact that the school promotes Christianity and derides student's current beliefs. Teachers tell some students that atheism is immoral or that Buddhism and Christianity are incompatable. They teach them things like they are born sinful and that they should know Christ to be saved. (Basically in addition to teaching kids things like math and reading, they also engage in what I consider brainwashing)

I don't donate money for this reason, but should I? Does the good the school does in teaching kids to be literate and giving them access to further opportunities outweigh the harm?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that there is something deep within you that is telling you it would be wrong to fund her mission. Otherwise, it wouldn't be nagging at you the way it is. You have to follow your instincts. Especially that initial instinct. I will say this, just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to support any and all they do. Sometimes you have to support your own stance over someone else’s. “Brainwashing” can really ruin a person’s life because it can render a person limited to thinking only inside the box, which can hinder them in their life as a whole. You have to ask yourself if your monetary donation (which, from your description, wouldn’t make or break her mission) is worth always having that nagging in your mind asking, “Is it right for me to do this?”

 

[horizon_mj1]

One thing definitely that needs to be put into consideration is what Odion stated about the children maybe not getting another opportunity at education (but if a fund raiser is being held, its a private school, are the public schools in that area deplorable?)

 

[Reptillian]

Something is indeed nagging me. I have a hard time accepting their faith based approach to education. I went to her fundraiser dinner at the local church. During her presentation to the attendees she implied that the spread of atheism causes moral decline in a society. She also gave an example of a student who "now realizes that Buddhism is false and has accepted Jesus". Everyone was clapping and saying "Amen", but I was quite bothered by the general lack of respect for another person's culture and beliefs. This sort of religious brainwashing is horrifying to me, critical thinking and questioning dogmatic assumptions are of prime importance to the educational process. I feel as though I, as the only non Christian in the room most likely, should have spoken up and defended atheists and Buddhists. One part of my moral dilemma is whether I should share my concerns with her and others. Is it wrong for me to publicly question the moral merit of her ministry and to encourage family members or church goers to donate to different (I think more worthy) charities?

I'm sure the public education in the area is quite good and non biased. I think the draw is that the Christian school has fewer students (a high faculty to student ratio), and the classes are in english (so the graduates have an advantage when applying to colleges in english speaking countries).

This is why I haven't contibuted in the past.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I don't donate money for this reason, but should I? Does the good the school does in teaching kids to be literate and giving them access to further opportunities outweigh the harm?

It's your own personal decision, but something that factors into the equation is whether there's a secular (or religious without the negative aspects you describe) alternative that does the same sort of good.

Speaking for myself, I support only one religious charity: a Catholic-affiliated youth homeless shelter in an area where there are no other youth homeless shelters. Normally, I'll pick a secular alternative if one exists.

I can't make your decision for you, and I realize that there may be familial pressure involved here as well, but personally, I wouldn't ever give material support to an organization that I describe as "horrifying".

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I am frequently asked to donate to Zionist and/or Orthodox charities with which I have serious issues. I refuse. In those few cases where I wish to honor the person making the request, I will try to find a comparable charity/cause which we can both support and make a donation in her/his name while letting the person know that the donation was inspired by the laudable intent behind her/his request.

 

[horizon_mj1]

Something is indeed nagging me. I have a hard time accepting their faith based approach to education. I went to her fundraiser dinner at the local church. During her presentation to the attendees she implied that the spread of atheism causes moral decline in a society. She also gave an example of a student who "now realizes that Buddhism is false and has accepted Jesus". Everyone was clapping and saying "Amen", but I was quite bothered by the general lack of respect for another person's culture and beliefs. This sort of religious brainwashing is horrifying to me, critical thinking and questioning dogmatic assumptions are of prime importance to the educational process. I feel as though I, as the only non Christian in the room most likely, should have spoken up and defended atheists and Buddhists. One part of my moral dilemma is whether I should share my concerns with her and others. Is it wrong for me to publicly question the moral merit of her ministry and to encourage family members or church goers to donate to different (I think more worthy) charities?

I'm sure the public education in the area is quite good and non biased. I think the draw is that the Christian school has fewer students (a high faculty to student ratio), and the classes are in english (so the graduates have an advantage when applying to colleges in english speaking countries).

This is why I haven't contibuted in the past.

I would have to say no, it is not wrong for you to question the moral merit of her ministry (or any other for that matter), but you must take into consideration the implications that may arise (will it make things harder for you; there is nothing wrong with considering yourself). I can understand feeling torn in such a situation, for friends you may choose but family is another story

 

[Koldo]

I don't donate money for this reason, but should I? Does the good the school does in teaching kids to be literate and giving them access to further opportunities outweigh the harm?

If i were you, i wouldn't donate money to this school. If i really felt like donating then i would look for a secular school. However, the choice is up to you.

 

[Penumbra]

I have a cousin who is a Christian missionary. She currently works at a Christian school as a fund raiser, employee scout, and school job counselor for students. She is currently back in the United States collecting funds for the upcoming school year. I'm often invited to fundraisers and placed in a position where I could contribute to her mission.

The moral dilemma is this: on the one hand she is my relative and I feel like I should support her in cause and decisions, I mean she does give kids an access to an education that they otherwise wouldn't normally get. She also helps them to find employment or go on to college after school.

On the other hand I don't agree with her methods, its a Christian school that mixes religion and education (things which I firmly think should be separate) I also know for a fact that the school promotes Christianity and derides student's current beliefs. Teachers tell some students that atheism is immoral or that Buddhism and Christianity are incompatable. They teach them things like they are born sinful and that they should know Christ to be saved. (Basically in addition to teaching kids things like math and reading, they also engage in what I consider brainwashing)

I don't donate money for this reason, but should I? Does the good the school does in teaching kids to be literate and giving them access to further opportunities outweigh the harm?

Rather than say what you should do, I'll just say what I would do.

If it were me, I'd try to find another organization that does the good aspects of this without the religious aspects that you (and I) find to be harmful. There are some good secular organizations out there offering a lot of help. I'm not too interested in supporting relatives with things that I specifically disapprove of.

 

[quadman19]

I would support a secular organization also. Education shouldn't involve any sort of religious ideas, look at the education system here in america and how many problems we have with the evolution vs. creationism debate. I'd rather see our future generations get a real education that doesn't come in conflict with religion. If you want to help people, then you should do it for the sake of helping, NOT proselytizing.

 

[thebigpicture]

Something is indeed nagging me. I have a hard time accepting their faith based approach to education. I went to her fundraiser dinner at the local church. During her presentation to the attendees she implied that the spread of atheism causes moral decline in a society. She also gave an example of a student who "now realizes that Buddhism is false and has accepted Jesus". Everyone was clapping and saying "Amen", but I was quite bothered by the general lack of respect for another person's culture and beliefs. This sort of religious brainwashing is horrifying to me, critical thinking and questioning dogmatic assumptions are of prime importance to the educational process. I feel as though I, as the only non Christian in the room most likely, should have spoken up and defended atheists and Buddhists. One part of my moral dilemma is whether I should share my concerns with her and others. Is it wrong for me to publicly question the moral merit of her ministry and to encourage family members or church goers to donate to different (I think more worthy) charities?

I’m not sure what your family dynamic is. Are they even aware of your stance on religion? If they are, I don’t think it would surprise them that you feel the way you do and they’d probably understand your position. If they’re not aware, I’m not sure how they would handle your different point of view. In any case, I feel you should privately talk to your cousin about how you feel. I think it would be hypocritical for you to feel as strongly against her mission as you do, but support her mission on the surface. If you’re going to do something, do it fully from your heart. Otherwise, it’s not authentic. I don’t know how strong of a relationship you have with her, but surely there must be a way to express how you feel without harming your overall relationship. As for the rest of your family members and her supporters, do you really think it would do any good to tell them to give to the charities you suggest if they think exactly as she does?

As I said earlier, you just have to follow that first instinct you had. Initial instincts are not usually wrong.

 

[Reptillian]

I’m not sure what your family dynamic is. Are they even aware of your stance on religion? If they are, I don’t think it would surprise them that you feel the way you do and they’d probably understand your position. If they’re not aware, I’m not sure how they would handle your different point of view. In any case, I feel you should privately talk to your cousin about how you feel. I think it would be hypocritical for you to feel as strongly against her mission as you do, but support her mission on the surface. If you’re going to do something, do it fully from your heart. Otherwise, it’s not authentic. I don’t know how strong of a relationship you have with her, but surely there must be a way to express how you feel without harming your overall relationship. As for the rest of your family members and her supporters, do you really think it would do any good to tell them to give to the charities you suggest if they think exactly as she does?

As I said earlier, you just have to follow that first instinct you had. Initial instincts are not usually wrong.

Secular charities that aim to improve the world for the good of mankind and for no other major agenda are preferable.

Some close family members are aware of my agnosticism, but others aren't. I usually get the whole, "you need to pray more and go to church more often" suggestion from the ones that know. I'm sure I should privately discuss my concerns with her, but it would probably hurt her feelings.

I did find out that her school accepts book donations, so I've been thinking of throwing in a few good non Christian books to offset the one sided education these kids get. Perhaps a book on world religions, or some scientific and philosophical classics like "The Origin of Species" or Descartes "Discourse of the Method" would help.

 

[thebigpicture]

Secular charities that aim to improve the world for the good of mankind and for no other major agenda are preferable.

Some close family members are aware of my agnosticism, but others aren't. I usually get the whole, "you need to pray more and go to church more often" suggestion from the ones that know. I'm sure I should privately discuss my concerns with her, but it would probably hurt her feelings.

I did find out that her school accepts book donations, so I've been thinking of throwing in a few good non Christian books to offset the one sided education these kids get. Perhaps a book on world religions, or some scientific and philosophical classics like "The Origin of Species" or Descartes "Discourse of the Method" would help.

It may hurt her feelings, but at least she would know how you truly felt.

I don't think they would actually use any books they feel would go against what they teach the children religion-wise; it would cause confusion and probably end up insulting her. I think you should just ask her what you could do to contribute to the part of her mission that falls completely outside the realm of religion.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I did find out that her school accepts book donations, so I've been thinking of throwing in a few good non Christian books to offset the one sided education these kids get. Perhaps a book on world religions, or some scientific and philosophical classics like "The Origin of Species" or Descartes "Discourse of the Method" would help.

Good idea.

Those particular books might be a bit heavy for kids learning English as a second language, but I'm sure there's stuff out there that would be suitable.

How heavily do you think they screen through their book donations? I'm sure they go through them to make sure the kids aren't sent porn or the like, but do you think they'd throw out books that talk about, say, evolution?