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my dad is a muslim and my mom is a christian, what faith should follow?

SG2009

Member
Ok friends, as the titles says, my dad is a muslim and mom is a christian, after their divorce, i literally grow between two separate houses, and always caught between two religion, islam and christianity.Now am grown man, atimes i don't know which religion to fellow because I understood diffrence and similarities between each of them.My question is am about to start my own family, and i need to get wed in religious way but am confused what institution to ffollow. Caveat: am not confuse about faith in the creator but rather in what religious institution (mosque or church) to go to. Please advise
 
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Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Well - your OP begs several questions before a thoughtful answer can be offered.

First of all - Which religious faith do YOU adhere to? Are you a Christian, Muslim, or simply a deist?

Secondly - you imply that you are already involved in a relationship. What faith, if any, is your fiancee?

What personal importance, if any, has religious affiliation played in your life to this point? Do you attend religious services? If so, are they at a church, a mosque, or both?

Your OP doesn't sound as much like a question about where to get married, but rather - more of a question about what you actually believe - and no one can answer that but you.

One final observation - you don't HAVE to get married in a church or a mosque. If you or your fiancee cannot truly identify whether you are Christian or Muslim, you can always just get married at the courthouse - or on a beach, at your parents' house, underwater at Sea World, jumping out of a plane, you name it.

If you're only getting married in a religious ceremony to please your parents, but haven't made it clear to your parents that you haven't got a clearly defined faith - then you may not be mature enough to even be getting married.
 

SG2009

Member
Thanks for the reply. I will answer your curiosity to see how best your thoughtful answer would lead to, but won't my your first instinct for an answer too.1/ i told u i was brought up in a mixed religious family though my parents were divource i did follow their religious instruction until i became adult i realized it consfuses the heck out of me as i tried to rationalize objectively which path should i take.2/ As a consequent of that i need to correct that before the cycle repeat itself over my future siblings, hence i like to make sure me and fiance share one religious faith3/ Regardless where the marriage will be conducted (churhe, mosque, or court) i feel that we must still adhere to one religious instutiion.4/ i know islam pretty well as much as christianity. The difference between them to me is so little it does not matter which faith you ultimate choose because in the end you praise the Creator whether as Mohammed as his last Messanger or not, or Jesus as his Son or not.5/I will be 30 yrs old in few months, and i think it is time to get this done and settle once and for all.Look forward to you hear from hopefully without making assumption about this and that.thanks
 

SG2009

Member
NB: I wrote the above in several skinny paragraphs but it seems everytime i post every post everything is condensed in one paragraphs making it look incoherent, what is going on?
 

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
Don't worry about the format of the post - I could make sense of it.

Are you already engaged or seriously dating a woman? If so, what faith is she?
 

SG2009

Member
seriously in a relation but it may not work if we follow different religious faith. On different note, what's with the word format here?
 

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I don't know why your text is messing up. I've never had that problem. Maybe you should ask one of the staff about it.

I would say that if you are truly in love with this woman, you should take a second look at her faith, and see if it's something you can embrace wholeheartedly. It sounds like you are open to exploring various parts of your spiritual side. Take a hard look at her faith and how she expects to live it, and if it's something you can take on yourself and truly live (rather than just tolerate her doing so) then that's the route I think I would take.

Pray about it. My experience has been that when I truly seek wisdom from God and really pray about a matter - He always leads me to the right path.
 

SG2009

Member
I did post a question to one of the mod and am still awaiting an answer there.back to the point of the post, i agree with you and that's exactly am trying to do to make sure, me and future spouse have a mutual understanding and religion does not confuse the rest of our lives.In some way this soulsearching is like asking someone whether he or she will marry someone outside their faith? Will you regardless of how love is considered blind?
 

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
Talk to your fiance about it and decide together where you'd want the wedding to be. Do it in whichever religious way matches up best with both of your religious beliefs, I guess.
 

Fatihah

Well-Known Member
Ok friends, as the titles says, my dad is a muslim and mom is a christian, after their divorce, i literally grow between two separate houses, and always caught between two religion, islam and christianity.Now am grown man, atimes i don't know which religion to fellow because I understood diffrence and similarities between each of them.My question is am about to start my own family, and i need to get wed in religious way but am confused what institution to ffollow. Caveat: am not confuse about faith in the creator but rather in what religious institution (mosque or church) to go to. Please advise

Response: There are many similarities in both christianity and islam. However, the question you should be asking is which is the religion of God. Is it christianity? Is it islam? Is it neither and there is another religion which is that you have yet to fully consider? The approach I would recommend is for you to participate in both the christian forums as well as islam, and ask the necessary questions you need in helping you make your decision as to which is the religion of God. Ask with an opened mind, and you will be fine.
 

SG2009

Member
Response: There are many similarities in both christianity and islam. However, the question you should be asking is which is the religion of God. Is it christianity? Is it islam? Is it neither and there is another religion which is that you have yet to fully consider? The approach I would recommend is for you to participate in both the christian forums as well as islam, and ask the necessary questions you need in helping you make your decision as to which is the religion of God. Ask with an opened mind, and you will be fine.

Thanks. So far i came to the conclusion that both religions are truly honest in guidence and each are the right path tto heaven.
 

YmirGF

Bodhisattva in Recovery
Ok friends, as the titles says, my dad is a muslim and mom is a christian, after their divorce, i literally grow between two separate houses, and always caught between two religion, islam and christianity.Now am grown man, atimes i don't know which religion to fellow because I understood diffrence and similarities between each of them.My question is am about to start my own family, and i need to get wed in religious way but am confused what institution to ffollow. Caveat: am not confuse about faith in the creator but rather in what religious institution (mosque or church) to go to. Please advise
My advice is to follow your heart. As Kathryn has observed you do not have to get married in either religious institution as you could always have a civil ceremony, followed by a lovely wedding party. Think of it this way, you already have your faith and that faith keeps you from accepting both, so you need to ask yourself why it even matters. If you bother asking both groups why they think their faith is authentic you are caught in a situation similar to asking a Ford dealer why you should buy a Ford and asking a Nissan dealer why you should buy a Nissan. Both with have their selling points, but frankly, why settle for a commercial model when you already have something handmade that works for you. :)

Thanks. So far i came to the conclusion that both religions are truly honest in guidence and each are the right path tto heaven.

Which means you are no further ahead. :)
 
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Luminous

non-existential luminary
i dont see why you dont just chose one. or baybe become ba'hai/unitarian church. what about your partner, what does she want? if its for your parents sake than get married in a secular place. why are you asking random christian anglicans what to do? is that your mother's denomination? ask your parents with what they would be ok with.
 

SG2009

Member
i dont see why you dont just chose one. or baybe become ba'hai/unitarian church. what about your partner, what does she want? if its for your parents sake than get married in a secular place. why are you asking random christian anglicans what to do? is that your mother's denomination? ask your parents with what they would be ok with.

Thanks, but that's the point i can't choose one over the other. i find each of them very compeling and truthful. I wish i could abandon one. I guess I will start my own denomination which both praise Mohammed and Jesus. I know this sound ridiculous and absurd but it is the last resort am going to do. Thanks Luminous.
 

SG2009

Member
My advice is to follow your heart. As Kathryn has observed you do not have to get married in either religious institution as you could always have a civil ceremony, followed by a lovely wedding party. Think of it this way, you already have your faith and that faith keeps you from accepting both, so you need to ask yourself why it even matters. If you bother asking both groups why they think their faith is authentic you are caught in a situation similar to asking a Ford dealer why you should buy a Ford and asking a Nissan dealer why you should buy a Nissan. Both with have their selling points, but frankly, why settle for a commercial model when you already have something handmade that works for you. :)



Which means you are no further ahead. :)

\Thanks. In the end I will defintely follow my heart.
 

SG2009

Member
I am of the mind that God will understand your heart. Don't worry too much what other human animals think about your beliefs.

Thanks. unfortunately no man is an island of himself, every man needs the support and respect of his community members to tie his beliefs to God.Does that make sense to you?
 

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
Ask with an opened mind, and you will be fine.
Although I don't believe that God belongs to any religion, per se, I would have to agree with your answer that when we want to know the answers to questions such as this one, the best way to find out is to ask God, and to have an open mind with regards to His answer.
 

YmirGF

Bodhisattva in Recovery
Although I don't believe that God belongs to any religion, per se, I would have to agree with your answer that when we want to know the answers to questions such as this one, the best way to find out is to ask God, and to have an open mind with regards to His answer.
Unless, of course, the response one gets is "Westborough Baptist" or "Scientology". You have to accept that you probably dialed the wrong number. :)
 

YmirGF

Bodhisattva in Recovery
Although I don't believe that God belongs to any religion, per se, I would have to agree with your answer that when we want to know the answers to questions such as this one, the best way to find out is to ask God, and to have an open mind with regards to His answer.

You have taken Fatty's quote out of context. In context, he says,
The approach I would recommend is for you to participate in both the christian forums as well as islam, and ask the necessary questions you need in helping you make your decision as to which is the religion of God. Ask with an opened mind, and you will be fine.
He isn't saying to ask god, he is saying to ask the various choirs and then drive off in the most logical car. A subtle, but important difference. My bet goes with your answer though.
 
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