"My Pet Has Died. Please Pray for Her!"

[Sunstone]

PROSELYTIZER: Hi! Just dropping by your cottage this morning to ask if you've found Jesus?

SUNSTONE I'm so sorry. I can't talk now. I'm mourning a recent death in my family. Pets are family, aren't they? (Wipes his eyes)

PROSELYTIZER: That's terrible! I feel so bad for you. My beloved dog passed away last fall, and she too was just like family to me! She was with us for fourteen years. Yes, I know how you must feel. I'll leave you to mourn in peace now.

SUNSTONE: Please! Can I ask you to pray with me for my pet?

PROSELYTIZER: Well, dogs don't have souls that I know of....

SUNSTONE: But she was so good! And she never hurt anyone!

PROSELYTIZER: Well...

SUNSTONE: Please! You must know a suitable prayer. Just a brief one!

PROSELYTIZER: I suppose the Good Lord won't take offense this one time. It is your hour of need, after all. What was the name of your dog?

SUNSTONE: Not a dog. An ant. I have an ant farm and I don't name them.

PROSELYTIZER: I have to leave now. Like, right now!

 

[Subduction Zone]

If only you had a dog:

 

[sun rise]

SUNSTONE: Not a dog. An ant. I have an ant farm and I don't name them.

PROSELTIZER: I have to leave now. Like, right now!

PROSELYTIZER: You are clearly an almost totally lost soul @Sunstone. You can't spell. You mock the Lord. You even commit the heinous sin of asking questions. But there is a smidgen of hope so you need prayer. I've brought some oil to anoint your threshhold and have taken over your TV set which is now permanently set to my gospel channel. Since you can't shut it off until you believe, prayers will fill your den of iniquity 7x24 until you repent.

 

[Stanyon]

How did you manage to spell it wrong in the end?

 

[Sunstone]

You can't spell.

Thanks for the heads up!

 

[Terese]

That last part made me laugh

 

[Stevicus]

PROSELYTIZER: Hi! Just dropping by your cottage this morning to ask if you've found Jesus?

SUNSTONE I'm so sorry. I can't talk now. I'm mourning a recent death in my family. Pets are family, aren't they? (Wipes his eyes)

PROSELYTIZER: That's terrible! I feel so bad for you. My beloved dog passed away last fall, and she too was just like family to me! She was with us for fourteen years. Yes, I know how you must feel. I'll leave you to mourn in peace now.

SUNSTONE: Please! Can I ask you to pray with me for my pet?

PROSELYTIZER: Well, dogs don't have souls that I know of....

SUNSTONE: But she was so good! And she never hurt anyone!

PROSELYTIZER: Well...

SUNSTONE: Please! You must know a suitable prayer. Just a brief one!

PROSELYTIZER: I suppose the Good Lord won't take offense this one time. It is your hour of need, after all. What was the name of your dog?

SUNSTONE: Not a dog. An ant. I have an ant farm and I don't name them.

PROSELYTIZER: I have to leave now. Like, right now!

Just so you know, your post made me wonder what the actual lifespan of an ant was. I didn't think ants could live as long as 14 years, but it appears that there are queen ants which can live as long as 30 years. Worker ants have considerably shorter lifespans.

 

[Cacotopia]

PROSELYTIZER: You are clearly an almost totally lost soul @Sunstone. You can't spell. You mock the Lord. You even commit the heinous sin of asking questions. But there is a smidgen of hope so you need prayer. I've brought some oil to anoint your threshhold and have taken over your TV set which is now permanently set to my gospel channel. Since you can't shut it off until you believe, prayers will fill your den of iniquity 7x24 until you repent.

Gospel channel is great especially if you are high. Best stuff is on at 3-4 am.

 

[Cacotopia]

 

[Wirey]

I found Jesus! He was in my trunk!