My stupid neighbor

[Draka]

Okay. Here goes. Turk knows only less than half the story here. This crap has been going on since I first moved in here about 3 years ago. Mike is a violent, loud, alcoholic. He goes on whiskey benders and starts yelling and howling (yes...HOWLING) at all hours of the night. Sue pleads with him to keep it down and be quiet and he then turns his aggression on her. He calls her every name in the book over and over. I can hear the sound of banging into walls and her crying out. I know he is grabbing her and flinging her into the walls and stuff like that. On occassions where the police have showed up I have heard her tell them she's: tripped and fell into the wall, accidentally cut herself with a knife making dinner, accidentally burned herself on the stove, tripped over the cat and fell into the doorknob/doorframe...and so on and so on. I HAVE spoken with her about Mike. I have given directions to the Women's Resource Center in town. Even offered to take her there myself. She admits that he's an *** to her, but won't leave him becaue she "loves him so much" and she's too old to find anyone else. She is 43 and he's 46, I believe, the last I knew at least. I've gone over the "cycle of violence" with her and many other victims' information as well...having been there myself years ago. (First husband tried killing me twice...but I got away safely as you can tell . He was no better at killing me than anything else he did :tsk: )

Anyway, it seems there is no pleasant end to this situation. My other neighbors have given up on calling the cops as it does no good and she covers for him anyway. They just wait for him to pass out and then go back to sleep. Which I admit, it a valid option at times. Sometimes he has passed out before the cops even got there.

If I'm still here, probably will be, when the baby is born and he pulls the same crap and keeps me and Jamie awake through the night...best believe the cops won't be my resource. My ball bat will be. We are looking for another place to move anyway.

 

[evearael]

The safety of your family is definitely your first priority. That's why I've surrounded myself with friends who know how to work assault rifles!

It sounds like you've done all you can, definitely find somewhere else to live, because that is no place to raise a family. She has to decide to break the cycle. No one else can do it for her, no matter how frustrating it is for those of us who've been through it. Hang in there. I'm glad you've escaped.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I had a neighbor like this too. They had kids, so I called CPS and the police, and the landlord. The situation greatly improved. I guess it's a rare success story...

 

[Draka]

I had a neighbor like this too. They had kids, so I called CPS and the police, and the landlord. The situation greatly improved. I guess it's a rare success story...

these neighbors have no kids. She does, but they are grown with kids of their own. It's just the two of them. The landlord has been told repeatedly about it, but has done nothing but tell them to keep it down. Since the couple says there is no abuse, but admits to the noise factor he says he has nothing but that. He still won't do anything. I have heard him say for over a year and a half that he wants to evict them when their lease comes up, but he never has. And they're 6 month leases!

As for the cops and the domestic abuse law...they say there is nothing that they can do since: A) they are not married, B) He is not on the lease and therefore doesn't really live there (he claims residence at his mother's even though he really does live here). IF they were married then the cops could do something, and/or IF he claimed residence and therefore were a co-habitating couple they could do something as well. However; as long as he and she both claim that he doesn't live there the cops say there is nothing they can legally do about it. I think that's bull. They would know by now that that is a lie. They just won't do anything.

 

[evearael]

I tried to get a restraining order against the man who raped me. Apparently, because I didn't marry the guy there was nothing they could do.

 

[ChrisP]

Is this the same neighbour with the puppy that Draka posted about?

Guess it musta been... could you move? or are you locked in Leasewise?

 

[Draka]

Heck, I had a hard time getting a restraining order against my ex-husband. It took a couple tries to do it. It had to be attached to the divorce papers to force it through. How it could have happened without I have no idea.

They've been quiet in general since the last cop incident. I have faith though...it won't last too long. They always have quiet periods after the cops are called.

 

[Draka]

Guess it musta been... could you move? or are you locked in Leasewise?

Sorry Chris. I didn't see your question earlier. No, it is not the same neighbor. That one is the downstairs neighbor and this is the next door neighbor. The downstairs neighbor has been better about their dog since the Humane Society showed up on their door...prompted by an anonymous phone call . They've even got another dog to keep it company and play with and have moved it to a better place and even play with it now.

The ones next door are in their 40's and drunks. Her, the happy, lovey drunk, and he...the violent, loud, obnoxious drunk. Not a good combo. I can deal with happy-lovey, but the other...not a chance.

As for moving...it's not the lease that presents the problem. My landlord would let me out of the lease at anytime. He knows that I am expecting and need a larger place anyway. It is the money aspect that locks us in right now. We don't have the money to put down on deposit, first month, and possibly last month rent to get another place at this point. So we deal with what we have to until such a time that we can move. But right now...money for baby things is more important. Since we have nothing now and 8 weeks to go. Moving is the least of our worries.

 

[ChrisP]

Sorry Chris. I didn't see your question earlier. No, it is not the same neighbor. That one is the downstairs neighbor and this is the next door neighbor. The downstairs neighbor has been better about their dog since the Humane Society showed up on their door...prompted by an anonymous phone call . They've even got another dog to keep it company and play with and have moved it to a better place and even play with it now.

The ones next door are in their 40's and drunks. Her, the happy, lovey drunk, and he...the violent, loud, obnoxious drunk. Not a good combo. I can deal with happy-lovey, but the other...not a chance.

As for moving...it's not the lease that presents the problem. My landlord would let me out of the lease at anytime. He knows that I am expecting and need a larger place anyway. It is the money aspect that locks us in right now. We don't have the money to put down on deposit, first month, and possibly last month rent to get another place at this point. So we deal with what we have to until such a time that we can move. But right now...money for baby things is more important. Since we have nothing now and 8 weeks to go. Moving is the least of our worries.

I'm glad to hear about the dog. Animals are people too Hope everything works out for ya in the future, esp with the kid on the way!

 

[Sunstone]

I tried to get a restraining order against the man who raped me. Apparently, because I didn't marry the guy there was nothing they could do.

The laws concerning such things as stalking, spousal abuse, partner abuse, domestic violence, etc. are relatively new and very different from state to state. In most places, there are still gaps in the laws that you could drive a truck through. It seems from your comment, Evearael, that your state doesn't extend its protections very far at all, even less far than many other states. That's reprehensible.