Need advice... Clashing feelings about faiths!

[Dingbat]

I have enjoyed this thread greatly as I am in the same boat as you illykitty with very similar feelings on things. It is amazing I was feeling rather unique and burdened until I viewed this thread and found someone with some very similar outlooks, questions, and problems. Like others have suggested I have pretty much narrowed it down to Reform Judaism, Islam, and Sikhism. I haven't done any real study on Sikhism but what little I have gathered is rather encouraging. I hope you can find what you are looking for on your journey and just wanted to say it felt good to see someone else in a similar situation.

 

[illykitty]

I'm glad you enjoy this thread! It's great to know you're not alone with those feelings, because I sure did feel alone sometimes.

It's really a big dilemma because until its solved, I feel like I'm not complete and something's missing. I'm looking into Sikhism right now. I went to a Gurdwara (temple) and people there were so welcoming!

Now all I have to do is return again, if I can sum up courage!

 

[FearGod]

I'm glad you enjoy this thread! It's great to know you're not alone with those feelings, because I sure did feel alone sometimes.

It's really a big dilemma because until its solved, I feel like I'm not complete and something's missing. I'm looking into Sikhism right now. I went to a Gurdwara (temple) and people there were so welcoming!

Now all I have to do is return again, if I can sum up courage!

Good luck with your journey.

 

[Dingbat]

I'm glad you enjoy this thread! It's great to know you're not alone with those feelings, because I sure did feel alone sometimes.

It's really a big dilemma because until its solved, I feel like I'm not complete and something's missing. I'm looking into Sikhism right now. I went to a Gurdwara (temple) and people there were so welcoming!

Now all I have to do is return again, if I can sum up courage!

I understand completely and that really drives me nuts as I don't like feeling incomplete and unsettled. I have faith you will find the right path and wish you the best on your journey.

 

[loverOfTruth]

Okay now this will probably come off as someone very contradictory and confused but if anyone can bare with me... I said in the thread "Reason to not be Muslim":




I know it's going to sound contradictory, but at the same time, the reasons I gave aren't really all that bad, for example, some Muslims believe in equality for all, and leave judgement to Allah. My friend also spoke of interfaith marriages, between a Muslim woman she knows. As for the God issues, it's hard to really know and also, as said, some things make no sense but can be because God indeed knows what's best for us. Why wouldn't God have both mercy but also feel angry or dissapointed about us?

Anyway, that's one side of myself. I can't seem to deny that I'm interested in Islam, always have a strong fascination with it since I discovered it. Also I keep having many dreams about it, especially if I ignore it for a while, about being a Muslim, converting or being sorrounded by them. I'm not sure how to interpret it. I wanted to convert a few months ago but I think I chickened out.

The other side of me is what I constructed, Panentheism, mixed with nature reverence similar to Paganism and some Buddhist practises and philosophy. But sometimes it feels fake and made up (well yes, made by myself). How do I know what the divine is? It feels pretentious!

I feel like I'm having a double life! How can I solve this annoying conflict? Is there any meaning in my constant dreams? Or am I overthinking? :areyoucra

Hi there, as a fellow human being and a well wisher, I would like to suggest to anyone in this situation the following. For a while, set aside all religions, all holy books and have a heartfelt conversation with the Creator directly in your heart and mind - ask Him to guide you towards Him if He truly exists. Be sincere regarding your intention to follow Him if you find the True Message. And I have no doubt in my mind that you will be guided to the True Message and you will have confirmation/confidence in your heart that this is it.

It doesn't make sense that God wants us to worship Him and when we seek Him sincerely that He would play hide and seek and will not show us the path towards Him. At least that's not the kind of God I worship. As stated in the Holy Qur'an :
"When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way." (Al Qur'an 2:186)

Also, Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) said that God said: "He who draws close to Me(God) a hand's span, I(God) will draw close to him an arm's length. And whoever draws near Me(God) an arm's length, I(God) will draw near him a fathom's length. And whoever comes to Me(God) walking, I(God) will go to him running."

I wish you Peace and Success in this journey of yours.

 

[atanu]

What 'Ism' you were born into?

Hmmm hard to say. I was baptised but nothing religious happened afterwards. My father is basically an agnostic and my mother believes in God but she doesn't really belong to any religion. So I didn't grow up in an "ism" kind of environment... I was quite atheistic growing up.

Btw, sorry was busy lately, read some more (finished the Bhagavad Gita-it was such a pleasure to read it, I adore Krishna) and I didn't see your reply.

I visited a Muslim community center, read some more and asked questions-to both sisters and myself-meditated and pondered.. I think I came to the conclusion that it's not for me but I have a high respect for it and perhaps envy how devoted Muslims are.

I don't really know what to read next. I always feel lost and dizzy from all of the options... I tried to pray but I never seem to get answers.

Well after all of this, I converted... To Islam.

I went to Canada for 2 weeks, while I was there I thought I'd meet a friend of mine (who converted) but couldn't finally. I met with one of her friend instead. She was born Muslim but brought with her her brother and a man they know who's a convert.

He told us his story, we asked questions and we talked (about Islam mainly but a few other things). I felt comfortable with what I was hearing and seeing them pray made me feel warm in my heart. I keep going back to Islam and I understood that deeply, that's what my heart wanted.

So I converted, there, in front of them as my witnesses. I feel lighter now that I finally chose my path. I've got LOADS to learn now and no mosque and no teaching close by. It'll be a challenge but that's perhaps the jihad Allah gave for me.

So assalamu alaykum my new brothers and sisters! Hopefully I can read and learn in the Islam DIR and see you around!

I'm really having trouble with this. No mosques nearby, no support and I just feel like giving up. Not going well! :'(

What do you guys feel this sounds like?

Equality for all
Social responsibilities
Standing up for each other
Respect (for elders and God especially)
Loyalty
Charity
Freedom (of religion, not looking down on others)
Materialism and attachment discouraged
Love for all, brothers, sisters, nature, universe, God.
Community centric
Spiritual like meditation, chants and deep connections
No nonesense (rituals that have no explanation or reason)
Bettering ourselves (makes us work harder, less lazy, more giving, etc.)
Way of life
One god, all in one but the one is beyond all. Whether has incarnations or not doesn't matter. I could go either way.
No middleman. Pray only to God.
Tolerance of other religions. They are different paths.
Many teachers appeared throughout the ages.
Science and belief mixes.
Some karma and reincarnation.
No eternal literal hell. Perhaps a period of punishment? I don't know.

That's all I think. XD

I'm glad you enjoy this thread! It's great to know you're not alone with those feelings, because I sure did feel alone sometimes.

It's really a big dilemma because until its solved, I feel like I'm not complete and something's missing. I'm looking into Sikhism right now. I went to a Gurdwara (temple) and people there were so welcoming!

Now all I have to do is return again, if I can sum up courage!

Dear illykitty

We will keep suffering from the sense of incompleteness as long as we depend on external things-paths-teachings etc.

All externalities have importance and power over us only because of our power of cognition (and paradoxically due to our ignorance of this power).

IMO, it is best to position oneself in one's own birth culture (if that is not impossible) and progress patiently and steadily towards the knowledge of god within one's consciousness. This, I believe, is the goal of all apparently contradictory religions, which appear diverse since they serve people of diverse cultural settings.

Namaste

 

[illykitty]

I still am not part of any religion but there's a list of my beliefs, people can read it, comment and advice but I'm mainly writing it for future references and comparison (also got a written journal - it's very helpful!)

Believe
-Panentheism, Higher Being in all but also beyond.
-I view my body as a temple, to be taken care of. Best to avoid harmful things or use very little of it. Example: alcohol.
-Some kind of heaven, rest/joy after life, perhaps after having learned all of life's lessons through as many lifetimes as it needs.
-I'm liberal, as far as laws go. I'm only conservative on myself.
-All religions have some truth, but it is sometimes mixed with culture and human's flawed understanding of the Higher Being's message.
-One needs to find a path that is suitable and helps them become better people, even if that means Atheism. If one becomes nicer, more compassionate and caring, then that is the right path! Try to become as close as possible to a better self.
-Not 100% sure about Reincarnation, but makes sense to me and I've always believed in it. I don't even know how and why.
-Ahimsa, non violence. Avoid violence if it can be avoided. Can include being vegetarian, if one feels they can do it.
-An it harm none, do what thou wilt. I LOVE that phrase!
-Nature, I believe it is beautiful and it feels sacred to me. I wish we could protect it better. I often feel a connection with nature, perhaps more than with human peers.
-Karma, don't know about specifics though or how it works. I just know I've always somewhat believed in it.

Reject
-Hell. I'd rather think of the Higher Being as eternally forgiving, caring, wise and good, so we get countless chances.
-Only one right path.
-Bigotry
-Some ideas of sins, such a homosexuality. If it doesn't harm someone, it is fine.
-LHP makes me uneasy... It has some good bits (if you care to read and find about it) but perhaps it can be bad for some people. I'll leave it at that.
-Ecocide (ecological suicide) Hurting nature for greed, ego and such. Without nature we won't live, yet people continue going this way. Thus the suicide part in ecocide.

Unsure
-Prophets and deities like Jesus and Krishna. I do admire them though.
-Unsure about only ONE Panentheistic Higher Being or multiple Beings part of ONE being. For example, Shiva has many forms. Or perhaps the use of multiple deities as a means to understand and relate to the ONE.
-Heaven as subjective according to each person. Example: One could want reunification with God, another want to be with loved ones or having many things, etc.

Anyway, that's just some of my "crazy" ideas and ramblings. I'm pretty consistant on these ones, other subjects might be more up to my mood, influences (a.k.a. what I just read) or I forgot about them. :areyoucra Some of these have been recent discoveries but I think deep inside I know what I believe, it's just hard to surface!

Perhaps I don't "fit" anywhere... Or perhaps I just don't see it. Anyway, I need to trust my own instincts.

 

[Infinitum]

Nothing on your list goes against Paganism. I suggest studying Greek mythology, since many of your ideas fit really well with its moral teachings. I don't know much about Eastern religions, but I'm sure there are something there too that could benefit you.

(Side note about LHP: In my opinion it really can be bad for quite a lot of people. I really appreciate you understand it and don't even attempt trying it out.)

 

[Freedomelf]

The Calyr path is one of uncertainty of faith. Calyr believe that no one religion has all the knowledge of god, and that only by studying several can one find the path that is truly right for their unique soul and circumstance. I encourage you, therefore, to study many faiths. A famous queen once wrote, "Some believe that you must be certain of your faith, or you are doomed to eternal hell. Calyr believe that no one can be certain, and that faith is simply a longing for God, a yearning for complete goodness and eternal peace. I'm not certain which I believe; therefore, my path is exquisitely clear."

 

[illykitty]

Nothing on your list goes against Paganism. I suggest studying Greek mythology, since many of your ideas fit really well with its moral teachings.

^^ My husband actually knows a bit about Greek mythology, as he studied it and liked reading about it. Maybe I'll ask him a few things.

(Side note about LHP: In my opinion it really can be bad for quite a lot of people. I really appreciate you understand it and don't even attempt trying it out.)

From my brief attempt to understand it and reading about it, I certainly do agree that it can be bad for some. You need to have a strong character, and that's definitely not me!

 

[Jamie M]

I just read a book about spiritual seeking, which may be fitting for you. It is about a woman in the present time who is a seeker, and she comes across Mary Magdalene's journal. The novel also takes place in Magdalene's time when she wrote in the journal. Now, the novel isn't about Christianity as we know it. Rather, it's about the mystic teachings of Jesus, and includes Greek and Jewish mysticism as well. It is called, The Logos of Soul, a Novel on the Light and Sound, by Kathryn Gabriel Loving. It's available on Amazon.

 

[GURSIKH]

Hello Kitty ,

What r ur views abt Sikhi ?

 

[illykitty]

I like Sikhism, but I'm not sure I'd want to be one. Hard to explain. Perhaps I'm just too shy and uneasy about it.

 

[GURSIKH]

wishing you luck , peace

 

[Desert Snake]

The other side of me is what I constructed, Panentheism, mixed with nature reverence similar to Paganism and some Buddhist practises and philosophy. But sometimes it feels fake and made up (well yes, made by myself). How do I know what the divine is? It feels pretentious!

I feel like I'm having a double life! How can I solve this annoying conflict?

Figure out if you're more inclined to polytheism, or a monotheistic religion, like as you mentioned, Islam. Make sure the ideals of the religion fit your own beliefs before converting is my advice. If you have paganistic inclinations none of the major religions may be compatible, unless there is room for you to incorporate those beliefs into it. Basically you have to research these religions/beliefs before subscribing to them.
my .02 $

 

[Breathe]

I like Sikhism, but I'm not sure I'd want to be one. Hard to explain. Perhaps I'm just too shy and uneasy about it.

I think I can understand what you are talking about - although it's worth asking yourself: why is it I'm afraid of it so much?

Is it because, for example, you'd stand out so much and you'd feel uncomfortable, or because of its largely heterogeneous culture that you'd feel like an outsider?

In addition, what is it you want to get out of the religion, and do you plan on being involved within the religious community?

 

[illykitty]

Figure out if you're more inclined to polytheism, or a monotheistic religion...

I'm more inclined towards the idea of one Creator that is within all, and beyond, panentheism. I'm not totally closed of the idea of many gods, but they would need to be beneath that one. Hence why Hinduism could work. But ultimately, that one Creator is what matters to me. That's what feels right.

I've pretty much dropped Islam, since I have too much difficulty to reconcile the beliefs with mine. Certain things started to not feel right. I thought perhaps I could change it slightly from within and change people's perceptions of it but in the end it is just not something I was meant to do.

I think I can understand what you are talking about - although it's worth asking yourself: why is it I'm afraid of it so much?

Is it because, for example, you'd stand out so much and you'd feel uncomfortable, or because of its largely heterogeneous culture that you'd feel like an outsider?

In addition, what is it you want to get out of the religion, and do you plan on being involved within the religious community?

I think it's a bit of both, perhaps more of the latter. I'm a very shy person who's pretty much had to deal with rejection all my life.

I'm already feeling a bit different, as supperficial as this sounds, because nearly everyone feels different... But people have made me feel that way in the past and presant (especially from people close). Perhaps my fascination with religion is yet another thing that I think (perceive) people will judge me on. And of course if your outward appearence reflects that, well it makes it more obvious.

There's also the fear of being rejected by others. It's probably the worse. I can't deal with it well. Even though I can rationalise that most Sikhs I've met so far seem to be very warm hearted and welcoming, I still have the fear because it's not rational. My unrational mind already assumes that people might accept me to visit, but not to join.

What I'm getting to is that Sikhism as a religion is pretty much ideal to me. But I can't deal with people very well yet... It's still work in (slow) progress.

Also, I'm like a bee sometimes I can change from one day to another, so perhaps I am scared to try something out. I'd feel like I let down people...

I wonder how my husband puts up with me...

 

[Breathe]

I think it's a bit of both, perhaps more of the latter. I'm a very shy person who's pretty much had to deal with rejection all my life.

Sounds similar to me. I've never been great in a group or anything like that, either - but don't worry about it.

I'm already feeling a bit different, as supperficial as this sounds, because nearly everyone feels different... But people have made me feel that way in the past and presant (especially from people close).

How are you beginning to feel different?

Perhaps my fascination with religion is yet another thing that I think (perceive) people will judge me on. And of course if your outward appearence reflects that, well it makes it more obvious.

As a Brit, I know that it's rough here, frequently; a lot of people judge us religious folk as a bit weird, or fanatical, or silly.

But, even if some people do treat you weird or judge you upon it, so what? If they're going to judge you based on something that makes you happy and you feel completes you, then they weren't worthy of your attention in the first place. You have nothing to lose for your conversion into a faith (regardless of whether it is Sikhism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, or whatever) , except for things that weren't really there in the first place, and everything to gain. If they judge you on it, they suck and aren't worth your time.

There's also the fear of being rejected by others. It's probably the worse. I can't deal with it well. Even though I can rationalise that most Sikhs I've met so far seem to be very warm hearted and welcoming, I still have the fear because it's not rational. My unrational mind already assumes that people might accept me to visit, but not to join.

What I'm getting to is that Sikhism as a religion is pretty much ideal to me. But I can't deal with people very well yet... It's still work in (slow) progress.

There will always be a certain amount of hesitation, I think, as you're from outside of the group going into what is a significantly heterogeneous group of people. Sikhism is still a few hundred years away from being a multi-ethnic religion if it does become one. You will get one or two people who will be distrustful or suspicious of it, but that is natural.

However, your biggest obstacle seems to be self-doubt. If you think it's right for you, just be it, live it out, and everything will start to fall into place. A cliché from years gone by, but the old Nike "Just Do It" fits.

Also, I'm like a bee sometimes I can change from one day to another, so perhaps I am scared to try something out. I'd feel like I let down people...

I wonder how my husband puts up with me...

I'm exactly the same as you; I must annoy my wife so much.

 

[Desert Snake]

I'm more inclined towards the idea of one Creator that is within all, and beyond, panentheism. I'm not totally closed of the idea of many gods, but they would need to be beneath that one. Hence why Hinduism could work. But ultimately, that one Creator is what matters to me. That's what feels right.

I've pretty much dropped Islam, since I have too much difficulty to reconcile the beliefs with mine. Certain things started to not feel right. I thought perhaps I could change it slightly from within and change people's perceptions of it but in the end it is just not something I was meant to do.

IDK sounds like one of the Monotheistic religions might be suited to you, you start getting pluralism/pantheons once you study any paganistic or say, non-Buddhist, Eastern religions. Of course there are different sects however that would again require reconciling secular beliefs/traditions.

 

[ratikala]

dear illykitty ,

I missed this post when you originaly started it , and wonder how you are feeling now allmost 6 months on ?

I'm glad you enjoy this thread! It's great to know you're not alone with those feelings, because I sure did feel alone sometimes.

its a good thread , I'm sure many of us have been through a lot of simmilar feelings at some point .

It's really a big dilemma because until its solved, I feel like I'm not complete and something's missing. I'm looking into Sikhism right now. I went to a Gurdwara (temple) and people there were so welcoming!

isnt it crazy after many many years of buddhist and hindu temples Ive never set foot in a gurdwara , despite the fact that most sikhs that I have met are so wonderfully freindly , which some how strikes me as sad none have ever left me with the feeling that they would hold anything against hindus but I am some how too timid to go ,
I often try reverse psycology upon my self , and ask how did I feel when strangers walked in to our temple ? ..... overjoyed ! ...and used to make sure that someone was looking after them , making them comfortable and making sure that they didnt leave without prasad

Now all I have to do is return again, if I can sum up courage!

did you go back ?

one thing that I feel was very healpfull to me and what probably was the thing that tied me to our temple , was 'serva' , obviously as a westerner amongst indians I was often at a little of a dissadvantage in that I couldnt talk with everyone unless their english was good but I realised that in the same way that I felt a little shy of them they felt a little shy with me , but as soon as I got involved in service in the temple the barriers of language began to melt away working along side people is the most wonderfull way to become one of the comunity and before I knew it it was as if I had finaly found that missing family , that sence of belonging , that something that was missing for me too .
it might sound crazy but that sence of having found my home amongst spiritualy inclined people is and was , more important to me than my birth family as their expectations of life are so different to mine and I know that I will never realy be able to share those all important beleifs with them which is sad , but unfortunately I think it is something that many people have to face .

ah, .. but all I wanted to say was please dont be shy , I am sure in every temple or gurdwara there are many who will be so glad to welcome you and help you feel at home .