Need advice on an issue

[Kerr]

You got some great advice here from fellow RFers!

Try this. Go outside for a walk, and smile and wave at the neighbors. I've found that simple actions like this are enough momentary reminders that people are awesome since 99% of the time, they smile and wave back at me.

You get some fresh air, a little bit of sunshine, it's free and doesn't cost any money, and if you're feeling a little adventurous you'll walk toward a destination that captures your interest where new people await your presence.

Lol, have not thought of that waving part. And when I decide to walk as part of an adventure, I am not sure I would walk somewhere in particular... I might just walk and see where my curiosity takes me. Made me stumble over the home of a previous president in a certain tropical paradise I have been in .

 

[sengeland04]

thanks for this info.

 

[Alceste]

I'm pretty good at making friends, I suppose. Here's my strategy:

1: Leave the house (most important!)
2: Talk to the people who live outside my house.
3: Accept all their invitations.
4: If there are no invitations, do something interesting and invite someone along. (This step is rarely needed - it's a last resort!)

Disclaimer: Most of my friends are mentally ill. They do call me all the time. Maybe you don't want that.

 

[Kerr]

I'm pretty good at making friends, I suppose. Here's my strategy:

1: Leave the house (most important!)
2: Talk to the people who live outside my house.
3: Accept all their invitations.
4: If there are no invitations, do something interesting and invite someone along. (This step is rarely needed - it's a last resort!)

Only issue is where I live. The closest city is almost an hour away with the car. On the other hand there is a beach nearby. I could try there.

Disclaimer: Most of my friends are mentally ill. They do call me all the time. Maybe you don't want that.

Lol, I rather have people call me all the time then never. And people call me never as it is.

 

[Alceste]

Only issue is where I live. The closest city is almost an hour away with the car. On the other hand there is a beach nearby. I could try there.


Lol, I rather have people call me all the time then never. And people call me never as it is.

Maybe I could get my psychotic hypochondriac suicidal bipolar friend who calls me every day to call you instead.

 

[Kerr]

Maybe I could get my psychotic hypochondriac suicidal bipolar friend who calls me every day to call you instead.

Stupid brain wont come up with anything to say. This is part of why I posted this thread. How do I know how to respond? And how do I know what responses are good or bad? Or do I worry too much about stepping on peoples toes?

 

[Alceste]

Stupid brain wont come up with anything to say. This is part of why I posted this thread. How do I know how to respond? And how do I know what responses are good or bad? Or do I worry too much about stepping on peoples toes?

I just say whatever pops into my head and try to judge from their reactions whether it was good or bad.

 

[Kerr]

I just say whatever pops into my head and try to judge from their reactions whether it was good or bad.

Yeah, but how do you know if their reaction is good or bad? Its hard for me to determine that. Granted, I have Asberger, which might be why I have that particular issue. But I dont like blaming stuff in my diagnosis.

Anyway, would this have been a good response?
"If she was my friend she could call me all she wanted ."

 

[Alceste]

Yeah, but how do you know if their reaction is good or bad? Its hard for me to determine that. Granted, I have Asberger, which might be why I have that particular issue. But I dont like blaming stuff in my diagnosis.

Anyway, would this have been a good response?
"If she was my friend she could call me all she wanted ."

Ah, that is a complicating factor. I had a boyfriend with Asperger's. The trouble he had reading my feelings was a complication, but not an insurmountable one. It would have been easier for me if he had asked instead of guessing how I felt. He had lots of friends, mostly through playing music, at which he really excelled. His friends thought of him as quirky. That's not such a bad thing. If anything, people will give you more leeway for being a little odd than they would if you were almost normal.

 

[Kerr]

Ah, that is a complicating factor. I had a boyfriend with Asperger's. The trouble he had reading my feelings was a complication, but not an insurmountable one. It would have been easier for me if he had asked instead of guessing how I felt. He had lots of friends, mostly through playing music, at which he really excelled. His friends thought of him as quirky. That's not such a bad thing. If anything, people will give you more leeway for being a little odd than they would if you were almost normal.

Unfortunately my experience is a bit more... colored. Have had issues in the passed with people not standing who I am because I am different. On the other hand both of the ones I am thinking of turned out to be cowards that rather pretended like nothing was wrong then to tell me the truth. Maybe I shouldnt listen to them .