"Neighbor Boys Peep at My Scantily Clad Daughters. Should I Have Them Cover Up?"

[Skwim]

The following is a resurrection of a thread I created almost seven years ago. Because a lot of new people have come aboard RF since then, I thought it might be interesting to give them a chance to weigh in on the issue.

THE ORIGINAL POST

​

The following is from the "Advice on Manners and Morals" column by By Emily Yoffe.

Take a look at it and tell me what you think the dad should do and why.

Prudence's answer is in the link, but try answering before looking at it.

Dear Prudence,
I am a married man with two wonderful teenage daughters living in a tranquil suburban neighborhood. A few months ago a nice couple, "Mike" and "Mary," moved in next door along with their eight children. The family is devoutly Christian. The children are home-schooled, well-behaved, and reserved; and the girls dress modestly. Our families have dined together and get along well. As part of their chores, my daughters do most of the yard work. It's hot here much of the year, and they typically wear short shorts and tank tops or bikini tops. The other day Mike said he wanted us to have a "serious" discussion and told me he caught his boys watching my girls from a bedroom window. He asked if I could please have my girls not wear such revealing clothing if they're going to be outside, as he is trying to protect his kids from "certain elements of the world" and doesn't want them influenced by "overly sexualized displays." When I told my wife and daughters, they were offended. Is it unreasonable to ask my daughters to cover up a bit? I've had problems with difficult neighbors in the past and feel sometimes it is necessary to make small sacrifices in order to keep the peace. My wife thinks I should kindly tell Mike to shove it. What should I do?

—Neighborly Dad
source

.​

 

[Sunstone]

Pics of the scantily clad daughters or it ddn't happen!

 

[Axe Elf]

I would suggest that if "Mike" thinks that teenaged girls doing yardwork in summertime clothing in their own yard is an "overly sexualized display," then he might want to seek counseling for his own overly sexualized worldview.

 

[Buddha Dharma]

Odd how the boys have no responsibility isn't it? I think modesty has it's uses if we consider natural appetites, but I do have a problem with this issue being one sided for conservative evangelicals. That they continue teaching men they're not responsible for managing their impulses. That women bear the blame for assault, or men can't tell their sexual appetites no.

 

[Skwim]

Pics of the scantily clad daughters or it ddn't happen!

.​

 

[Brickjectivity]

I understand both sides, and the fault lies with God (but not really as that would be ironic). That being said Mike is not taking responsibility for his choice of neighborhood. He moves there on his own dime, but now he is trying to make everyone else bend to his will on this issue. He can simply tell the boys not to look, blackout their windows, erect a fence or have them neutered. He chooses to do none of the above. I think community standards are the issue. He should have been more aware of the community that he was moving into instead of attempting to force his way after moving there.

 

[satyaroop]

"my home, my rules" not my neighbour's rules
the neighbour, mike, has crossed a line and should be put in his place, politely or ...otherwise
so I agree with

My wife thinks I should kindly tell Mike to shove it.

.​

 

[Hockeycowboy]

“Almost seven years ago.” I wonder what happened (other than they grew up).

 

[Mindmaster]

The following is a resurrection of a thread I created almost seven years ago. Because a lot of new people have come aboard RF since then, I thought it might be interesting to give them a chance to weigh in on the issue.

THE ORIGINAL POST

​

The following is from the "Advice on Manners and Morals" column by By Emily Yoffe.

Take a look at it and tell me what you think the dad should do and why.

Prudence's answer is in the link, but try answering before looking at it.

Dear Prudence,
I am a married man with two wonderful teenage daughters living in a tranquil suburban neighborhood. A few months ago a nice couple, "Mike" and "Mary," moved in next door along with their eight children. The family is devoutly Christian. The children are home-schooled, well-behaved, and reserved; and the girls dress modestly. Our families have dined together and get along well. As part of their chores, my daughters do most of the yard work. It's hot here much of the year, and they typically wear short shorts and tank tops or bikini tops. The other day Mike said he wanted us to have a "serious" discussion and told me he caught his boys watching my girls from a bedroom window. He asked if I could please have my girls not wear such revealing clothing if they're going to be outside, as he is trying to protect his kids from "certain elements of the world" and doesn't want them influenced by "overly sexualized displays." When I told my wife and daughters, they were offended. Is it unreasonable to ask my daughters to cover up a bit? I've had problems with difficult neighbors in the past and feel sometimes it is necessary to make small sacrifices in order to keep the peace. My wife thinks I should kindly tell Mike to shove it. What should I do?

—Neighborly Dad
source

.​

Young boys are going to look at girls, whether they are scantily clad or not. I know I did, lol.

However, whether his daughters were nude or simply wearing a bikini top they weren't sexually provoking the other guys sons and whether they were seen or not is irrelevant. Obviously, I'm in the camp that if it's hot enough for a man outside to be shirtless it's fine for women too. These ideas that women must hide their bits are the same things that create the naughty naughty thought that drives people to the weird actions. If it was commonplace like it is in many other parts of the world no one would give a flying.

My response would be, "My daughters can be in the fenced area of the backyard naked if they want. They are not sexually interested in you or your sons, so leave them be. Oh, and stop peeking over my fence."

 

[Mock Turtle]

The basic problem with beliefs, especially religious ones, is that one can have a belief but one can't force others to accept this or to even respect your values associated with any such belief. And it derives from the fact, that like many I think, I believe no beliefs are sacred, not even religious ones. We are perfectly entitled to dismiss, criticise, etc., any belief if we so choose.

But it often leads to situations such as this - where it's the neighbours' problem for having such beliefs and then expecting others to conform to such. Life just isn't like that, but it seems some want it to be so.

Religious beliefs tend to cause separation from others but it is by their own making - so deal with it.

That is the gist of what I would have said to the neighbour.

Edit

 

[oldbadger]

Mike was wrong to ever approach Neighbourly Dad about this. He should sort out his son's behaviour.

I was also a tiny-bit worried about Mike and Mary 'home-schooling' their children, because in cases where such children are not 'socialised' with a wider range of kids on a regular basis this can lead to many different community problems in later life.

An introverted upbringing, together with signs such as 'sneaky-peeks' at neighbours' children in casual clothing all lead me to suspect that Mike and Mary need to wake up to a better standard of parenthood.

I never read 'whatsherfaces' response.

 

[Srivijaya]

“Almost seven years ago.” I wonder what happened (other than they grew up).

One became an ultra-religious conservative and married one of Mike's boys. She now blames her "liberal" parents for letting her dress like a total whore and she's helping her husband with his sexuality and anger management issues.

Her sister became a trans-gender coke-dealing porn star who had an affair with a politician and gets featured a lot on daytime TV. Her body was found hanging from the Brooklyn Bridge in mysterious circumstances after revealing on her social media account that she'd discovered evidence of illuminati involvement in the disappearance of the Roswell alien corpse.

How do I know this? It's the USA guys, nobody is allowed to be boringly normal.

 

[Shiranui117]

The following is a resurrection of a thread I created almost seven years ago. Because a lot of new people have come aboard RF since then, I thought it might be interesting to give them a chance to weigh in on the issue.

THE ORIGINAL POST

​

The following is from the "Advice on Manners and Morals" column by By Emily Yoffe.

Take a look at it and tell me what you think the dad should do and why.

Prudence's answer is in the link, but try answering before looking at it.

Dear Prudence,
I am a married man with two wonderful teenage daughters living in a tranquil suburban neighborhood. A few months ago a nice couple, "Mike" and "Mary," moved in next door along with their eight children. The family is devoutly Christian. The children are home-schooled, well-behaved, and reserved; and the girls dress modestly. Our families have dined together and get along well. As part of their chores, my daughters do most of the yard work. It's hot here much of the year, and they typically wear short shorts and tank tops or bikini tops. The other day Mike said he wanted us to have a "serious" discussion and told me he caught his boys watching my girls from a bedroom window. He asked if I could please have my girls not wear such revealing clothing if they're going to be outside, as he is trying to protect his kids from "certain elements of the world" and doesn't want them influenced by "overly sexualized displays." When I told my wife and daughters, they were offended. Is it unreasonable to ask my daughters to cover up a bit? I've had problems with difficult neighbors in the past and feel sometimes it is necessary to make small sacrifices in order to keep the peace. My wife thinks I should kindly tell Mike to shove it. What should I do?

—Neighborly Dad
source

.​

Kindly tell Mike to teach his kids to be better Christians. Insulating your kids from the world doesn't make them better-prepared to deal with it. Precisely the opposite. In most families, parents teach their young boys to not be prudes and ogle women. Maybe Mike should follow their example--based on describing girls wearing weather-appropriate clothing as an "overly sexualized display", it seems Mike's parents never raised him right, either.

 

[It Aint Necessarily So]

I think that Mike needs to consult his Bible for the proper course of action regarding dealing with his fornicating sons (lust is equivalent to intercourse according to scripture): "And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee"

 

[Woberts]

or have them neutered

are you alright?

 

[FearGod]

Do the Trump's plan, build a wall.

 

[sandy whitelinger]

The following is a resurrection of a thread I created almost seven years ago. Because a lot of new people have come aboard RF since then, I thought it might be interesting to give them a chance to weigh in on the issue.

THE ORIGINAL POST

​

The following is from the "Advice on Manners and Morals" column by By Emily Yoffe.

Take a look at it and tell me what you think the dad should do and why.

Prudence's answer is in the link, but try answering before looking at it.

Dear Prudence,
I am a married man with two wonderful teenage daughters living in a tranquil suburban neighborhood. A few months ago a nice couple, "Mike" and "Mary," moved in next door along with their eight children. The family is devoutly Christian. The children are home-schooled, well-behaved, and reserved; and the girls dress modestly. Our families have dined together and get along well. As part of their chores, my daughters do most of the yard work. It's hot here much of the year, and they typically wear short shorts and tank tops or bikini tops. The other day Mike said he wanted us to have a "serious" discussion and told me he caught his boys watching my girls from a bedroom window. He asked if I could please have my girls not wear such revealing clothing if they're going to be outside, as he is trying to protect his kids from "certain elements of the world" and doesn't want them influenced by "overly sexualized displays." When I told my wife and daughters, they were offended. Is it unreasonable to ask my daughters to cover up a bit? I've had problems with difficult neighbors in the past and feel sometimes it is necessary to make small sacrifices in order to keep the peace. My wife thinks I should kindly tell Mike to shove it. What should I do?

—Neighborly Dad
source

.​

Naked BBQ next weekend.

 

[Brickjectivity]

are you alright?

Are you Buckaroo Bonzai?

 

[Twilight Hue]

Odd how the boys have no responsibility isn't it? I think modesty has it's uses if we consider natural appetites, but I do have a problem with this issue being one sided for conservative evangelicals. That they continue teaching men they're not responsible for managing their impulses. That women bear the blame for assault, or men can't tell their sexual appetites no.

That's because girls know what boys like.

Here's a "TED" Talk.