Queen_Of_The_Night
Trickster God's Disciple
Hello all my names not important but my friends call me Crow. I am currently learning about Animism and Shamanism though not from any school or class or anything like that, but on my own via my totems guides & Gods, with the help of some friends already walking the path.
Please bare with me as I know Shamanism in it self is a controversial term and my use of it by no means do I mean any disrespect to any way, practice, religion, or view:sorry1:. I just don't know a better terminology of experiences that describes the first spiritual practices of man in modern approch and terms. Frankly I only have been brought to this walk due to being dragged into in not by choice via many extreme spiritual and life experiences.
I couldn't relate to any of my spiritual and life experiences (which are spiritual in nature) as I grew up a sheltered Christian with shamanic experiences, ie death of self/ego, twin-spirited, spirit husband, spirit taught, walking between worlds, learning the art of healing via spirit helper, Talking to the deceased, androgynous/3rd type, elements deities, etc. I was always told it was demonic by those around me, but the experience didn't fit well with that notion at all, as the things I dealt with also had positive aspects within it also.
I lived a life of pain confusion and complete turmoil due to being a bit different, I went threw all sorts of Christian rites that didn't work and no one knew why (no offense to any religion here) and I often got blamed when they didn't. I even accepted the notion that I was just maybe seeing/imagining things that were really nothing that it was all in my head, despite people sharing many many many strange experiences with me. All I knew there wasn't much I could do about it I just was different always have been, and I had to live with that in harmony some how.
I only found out in the last 8 years that I was in fact a walker between worlds when I made friends with a few good souls who led me along my path to (who are now also my friends) shamans (who some don't call themselves shaman or hold the title of shaman due to the terms controversy and complexity). These "Walker Between Worlds" helped me understand that it was the call and initiation I was living; as before I was hassled by all sorts of people wanting to save me -and I could see why as the drag to shamanism isn't pretty at all in fact I would say in my experience it's down right terrifying and trying, and I can see why it's often confused with negative activity such as possession, as you get dragged in the mud to you say uncle essentially lol.
You deal with a great deal of seclusion, confusion, pain, esoteric experiences,vivid dream scapes, sickness, lunacy, strange happenings/events/ailments, sufferance etc, till you accept your call. The problem is with having that call and being multicultural as I am (West-Indian, possibly Native America & East-Indian, Netherlands, Irish, Euro-French, Euro-English ) kinda leaves a lot of issues of where to start ones journey cultural wise or if you should start one at all (as some would say that I couldn't walk a shamanic path due to being just me despite having the call). I personally think if your called your are called you can't change that imvho.
I am not one who likes nor strives what so ever to offend any culture as to me every belief holds rich vital history and purpose, however I can't deny that I fall into the basic principals of being "called" either, as it's been my story since I was a very little child. So in short I have come here to learn and understand both concepts of "shamanism"/Animism old and new, to further enrich my own understanding of what I already live and learn everyday, share and grow, to be able in result to better help others who require my help in the future (free of charge lol). I hope to meet wonderful people like your self (who is ever reading this) and hope to make a friend or two too!
Many blessings!
Sincerely,
Crow
P.S. I am not so new but I haven't posted anything new or anything of a in-depth extent yet.
Please bare with me as I know Shamanism in it self is a controversial term and my use of it by no means do I mean any disrespect to any way, practice, religion, or view:sorry1:. I just don't know a better terminology of experiences that describes the first spiritual practices of man in modern approch and terms. Frankly I only have been brought to this walk due to being dragged into in not by choice via many extreme spiritual and life experiences.
I couldn't relate to any of my spiritual and life experiences (which are spiritual in nature) as I grew up a sheltered Christian with shamanic experiences, ie death of self/ego, twin-spirited, spirit husband, spirit taught, walking between worlds, learning the art of healing via spirit helper, Talking to the deceased, androgynous/3rd type, elements deities, etc. I was always told it was demonic by those around me, but the experience didn't fit well with that notion at all, as the things I dealt with also had positive aspects within it also.
I lived a life of pain confusion and complete turmoil due to being a bit different, I went threw all sorts of Christian rites that didn't work and no one knew why (no offense to any religion here) and I often got blamed when they didn't. I even accepted the notion that I was just maybe seeing/imagining things that were really nothing that it was all in my head, despite people sharing many many many strange experiences with me. All I knew there wasn't much I could do about it I just was different always have been, and I had to live with that in harmony some how.
I only found out in the last 8 years that I was in fact a walker between worlds when I made friends with a few good souls who led me along my path to (who are now also my friends) shamans (who some don't call themselves shaman or hold the title of shaman due to the terms controversy and complexity). These "Walker Between Worlds" helped me understand that it was the call and initiation I was living; as before I was hassled by all sorts of people wanting to save me -and I could see why as the drag to shamanism isn't pretty at all in fact I would say in my experience it's down right terrifying and trying, and I can see why it's often confused with negative activity such as possession, as you get dragged in the mud to you say uncle essentially lol.
You deal with a great deal of seclusion, confusion, pain, esoteric experiences,vivid dream scapes, sickness, lunacy, strange happenings/events/ailments, sufferance etc, till you accept your call. The problem is with having that call and being multicultural as I am (West-Indian, possibly Native America & East-Indian, Netherlands, Irish, Euro-French, Euro-English ) kinda leaves a lot of issues of where to start ones journey cultural wise or if you should start one at all (as some would say that I couldn't walk a shamanic path due to being just me despite having the call). I personally think if your called your are called you can't change that imvho.
I am not one who likes nor strives what so ever to offend any culture as to me every belief holds rich vital history and purpose, however I can't deny that I fall into the basic principals of being "called" either, as it's been my story since I was a very little child. So in short I have come here to learn and understand both concepts of "shamanism"/Animism old and new, to further enrich my own understanding of what I already live and learn everyday, share and grow, to be able in result to better help others who require my help in the future (free of charge lol). I hope to meet wonderful people like your self (who is ever reading this) and hope to make a friend or two too!
Many blessings!
Sincerely,
Crow
P.S. I am not so new but I haven't posted anything new or anything of a in-depth extent yet.
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