You didn't mention whether this makes you feel unhappy, empty, or hopeless. This might be of interest to you:I think I am becoming a nihilist. It seems simple enough, but perhaps it is not so simple. Life is meaningless. Do I have that about right? Please fill me in on what I am missing.
Optimistic nihilism, comes from an article called What is Optimistic Nihilism? - Louis Laves-Webb
"Optimistic nihilism views the belief that there is no underlying meaning to life from a perspective of hope. It’s not that we’re doomed to live in a meaningless universe–it’s that we get the chance to experience ourselves and the universe we share. The optimistic nihilist looks at a world lacking meaning and purpose and sees the opportunity to create their own."
This is a familiar idea to many, including the secular humanists. Life has no inherent purpose. It's only objective meaning is that life is both possible and actual, and perhaps that life is an inevitable result of chemistry under the right circumstances. Yet man is capable of creating meaning and purpose to life and to his life himself.
Of course, this is at odds with theistic viewpoints that claim that God created man for a purpose, and also, with the claim of many believers that if there is no god, life is meaningless - pessimistic nihilism.