No regrets?

[bobhikes]

Is it really possible to live with no regrets?
I know people who say that they don't regret anything, that they would do it all over again because their mistakes made them grow and learn, etc. I don't want to invalidate their point of view because it's personal, but for me that's very hard to believe.
I have plenty of regrets. There are tons of things I wish I could have done differently. I made stupid mistakes that could have easily been avoided if I had better information. I sometimes treated people unfairly due to poor judgment and hurt them. I could have taken advantage of opportunities much better instead of wasting them if I had had more maturity, etc. So, even if I recognize that all those things helped me grow and hopefully become a better person, I still wish I could go back in time and change all that so I could get a better outcome, for me and for others.

When I was younger it was an argument my father and I would have all the time. He wouldn't change anything in his past. I also couldn't understand because I saw all his flaws and tried my best to correct them in me. Now as an adult that is raising children I understand. First any changes could take away my children and I wouldn't want that. Second no matter what I changed the world would still be the same and other problems will arise. Third I wouldn't be me as I learned a lot from all my actions(positive and negative) and taking away a major action would change who I am today. There is no guarantee I would be a better person today changing anything in my past.

 

[oldbadger]

Er, but hang on, is that a cause for regret?

Nothing like a good cold-sweat!

 

[oldbadger]

Yes, I think it is, at least for a certain class of personality, including mine. Anyone with a perfectionist streak is likely to focus on faults and errors.

I never thought of myself as a perfectionist, not even with some little vein of streakiness.
Interesting thought.

 

[JustGeorge]

I have very few regrets.

It somewhat helps that the regrets that I do have, most people don't understand, so I can't really talk about with anyone. Sure, I can try, but they say "what do you mean you regret not taking time to grab a stuffed cat from your ex's house? Why don't you regret turning down a scholarship?". They find it too hard to relate, and I find it too frustrating to try to explain, so I talk about something else. I can't dwell long on it, so it can't eat me up.