Or, 'Why I Left This Set of Beliefs' by Rival d'RF.
I didn't really want to write this, but after being contacted by multiple folks all wondering the same thing I've decided just to go ahead and wrap this up.
I had been a Noahide for four years, after becoming convinced out of Christianity. I understood how, in my opinion, Jesus could not have been the Mashiach according to Tanakh. I couldn't continue in Christianity after this, albeit there were other issues too (deifying a man, the concept of Satan as an evil figure not present in Tanakh, etc.). So I become a Noachide, still being fully convinced of the truth of Judaism and Tanakh. Naturally I'm paraphrasing a lot here, but you get the picture.
Noachidism is the path for those who are not born Jewish but maintain a belief in the truth of Judaism. This is mostly seen in Orthodox circles but not exclusively. Some folks have called it a 'Zionistic religion' and others have said, well, worse things. Suffice it to say, the basic tenets of Noachidism are the Sheva Mitzvot - The Seven Laws.
This means no holidays and neither can one celebrate non-Jewish holidays. I live in a tiny village with the nearest city a half hour train ride away. So there were no Jewish holidays pour moi, either. I had nothing to celebrate, nor was I allowed to make my own celebrations or join others'. There is no prayerbook (you will be told there is the Brit Olam but this prayerbook did not work for me and many others; it does not come off as anything remotely like a real siddur and it has links to the 'new Sanhedrin', which is problematic for many). There are no rites or rituals, houses of worship, bodies of literature, hymns, or anything one would associate with a religion. You cannot attend a 'Noachide service' (and if you have you have been blessed - these are rare birds) or walk into a Noachide bookshop. There are no fast days; no liturgical calendars or prayer times.
In other words there is nothing religious about Noachidism. It is a set of beliefs, dictated by Jewish authorities, that you abide and nothing more. You cannot fill your home with Noachide art, books, holiday décor or otherwise.
And there is no community to speak of. Chances are, if you become a Noachide it's going to be just you. Just you with no holidays, no rituals, no prayerbooks, no artwork, no literature, no fasts, not anything.
This is the position I found myself in, and I may as well have had no religion at all. The trouble was I was convinced that Judaism is true and as I could not convert (various personal and financial reasons) I was stuck with it. I was also very fundamentalist and wondered, how would I ever find a partner? Raise kids, without exposing them to Christian stuff? How could I live the rest of my life being so lonely? It reached the point where I became dangerously suicidal; I actually went and bought some razor blades to kill myself with. I would fantasise night after night about ending it. I would have whole days lying in bed; I would refuse to eat; I would go whole days doing nothing at all, but feeling numb and miserable.
So something had to give. I talked this out with someone close and I decided not to kill myself, to unfortunately start looking into new religions. I could not go for any other Abrahamic faiths since they all have Jesus and other folks I consider false prophets. I couldn't go for Sikhism as their conception of God and overall approach just doesn't work for me. I couldn't go for any of the European Paganisms as I've never felt close to those faiths - they do not call to me. I've never had any interest in them, nor did they really lend themselves to my theological leanings. This goes for Dharmic faiths, too.
Thus, I went to the only one that had made any sense to me, aside from Judaism, from my childhood and on - ancient Egyptian religion. It lends itself well to certain monotheistic interpretations, wherein one God can be seen as the Creator and others as Manifestations of Him, or Emanations, or however one sees it. Some may see this as henotheistic or monolatristic, but there it is. So I dived into that and read more about it, coming to the conclusion that this will suit me just fine. It has theological concepts I can grasp, it has lots of literature, it has symbols, things I can decorate my room with, it has rituals, offerings, a liturgical calendar and so on. I suppose I would now be counted among the Cut of Amun-Ra, which sees Amun as the transcendent, hidden, penetrative force in the world, who emanates/speaks through other manifestations.
So this isn't me severing myself from Judaism, either. I still love Judaism and Tanakh, but it's not mine.
I didn't really want to write this, but after being contacted by multiple folks all wondering the same thing I've decided just to go ahead and wrap this up.
I had been a Noahide for four years, after becoming convinced out of Christianity. I understood how, in my opinion, Jesus could not have been the Mashiach according to Tanakh. I couldn't continue in Christianity after this, albeit there were other issues too (deifying a man, the concept of Satan as an evil figure not present in Tanakh, etc.). So I become a Noachide, still being fully convinced of the truth of Judaism and Tanakh. Naturally I'm paraphrasing a lot here, but you get the picture.
Noachidism is the path for those who are not born Jewish but maintain a belief in the truth of Judaism. This is mostly seen in Orthodox circles but not exclusively. Some folks have called it a 'Zionistic religion' and others have said, well, worse things. Suffice it to say, the basic tenets of Noachidism are the Sheva Mitzvot - The Seven Laws.
- Not to worship idols.
- Not to curse God.
- Not to commit murder.
- Not to commit adultery, bestiality, or sexual immorality.
- Not to steal.
- Not to eat flesh torn from a living animal.
- To establish courts of justice.
This means no holidays and neither can one celebrate non-Jewish holidays. I live in a tiny village with the nearest city a half hour train ride away. So there were no Jewish holidays pour moi, either. I had nothing to celebrate, nor was I allowed to make my own celebrations or join others'. There is no prayerbook (you will be told there is the Brit Olam but this prayerbook did not work for me and many others; it does not come off as anything remotely like a real siddur and it has links to the 'new Sanhedrin', which is problematic for many). There are no rites or rituals, houses of worship, bodies of literature, hymns, or anything one would associate with a religion. You cannot attend a 'Noachide service' (and if you have you have been blessed - these are rare birds) or walk into a Noachide bookshop. There are no fast days; no liturgical calendars or prayer times.
In other words there is nothing religious about Noachidism. It is a set of beliefs, dictated by Jewish authorities, that you abide and nothing more. You cannot fill your home with Noachide art, books, holiday décor or otherwise.
And there is no community to speak of. Chances are, if you become a Noachide it's going to be just you. Just you with no holidays, no rituals, no prayerbooks, no artwork, no literature, no fasts, not anything.
This is the position I found myself in, and I may as well have had no religion at all. The trouble was I was convinced that Judaism is true and as I could not convert (various personal and financial reasons) I was stuck with it. I was also very fundamentalist and wondered, how would I ever find a partner? Raise kids, without exposing them to Christian stuff? How could I live the rest of my life being so lonely? It reached the point where I became dangerously suicidal; I actually went and bought some razor blades to kill myself with. I would fantasise night after night about ending it. I would have whole days lying in bed; I would refuse to eat; I would go whole days doing nothing at all, but feeling numb and miserable.
So something had to give. I talked this out with someone close and I decided not to kill myself, to unfortunately start looking into new religions. I could not go for any other Abrahamic faiths since they all have Jesus and other folks I consider false prophets. I couldn't go for Sikhism as their conception of God and overall approach just doesn't work for me. I couldn't go for any of the European Paganisms as I've never felt close to those faiths - they do not call to me. I've never had any interest in them, nor did they really lend themselves to my theological leanings. This goes for Dharmic faiths, too.
Thus, I went to the only one that had made any sense to me, aside from Judaism, from my childhood and on - ancient Egyptian religion. It lends itself well to certain monotheistic interpretations, wherein one God can be seen as the Creator and others as Manifestations of Him, or Emanations, or however one sees it. Some may see this as henotheistic or monolatristic, but there it is. So I dived into that and read more about it, coming to the conclusion that this will suit me just fine. It has theological concepts I can grasp, it has lots of literature, it has symbols, things I can decorate my room with, it has rituals, offerings, a liturgical calendar and so on. I suppose I would now be counted among the Cut of Amun-Ra, which sees Amun as the transcendent, hidden, penetrative force in the world, who emanates/speaks through other manifestations.
So this isn't me severing myself from Judaism, either. I still love Judaism and Tanakh, but it's not mine.
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I always feel like I learn something when it's a post you make.
