Overwhelming Guilt

[wizanda]

Really not sure what to do with what has been shown to me since young or meant to do to serve everyone fairly, and so it makes me feel suicidal, as can't cope with the overwhelming emotions from it.

Basically to list everything:

• As a 3/4 year old would dream the Tribulation occurring in our life time, with no prior knowledge, and matching what is documented in many eschatologies.
• Since 4 always knew i was an Avatar from Heaven, with a sacred name, that is within many religions.
  
• At 5/6 years old knew Yeshua didn't say "I Am" (Ego I-mee), and as a 25 year old would go over the Bible with a large magnifying glass/fine tooth comb, to discover why the world had already been convinced of a lie.
• At 15 years old was spoken to from a being outside of our realm of existence, that asked me to study all religions, and build a place that peace would spread from. Then a series of events will happen, Tribulation, Day of the Lord, and then age of Godliness; where those that are Godly have already been chosen to return.
• At 22 years old me and a group of friends were all called to a sacred mountain, and two years later when reading the bible properly, realized had fulfilled Revelation 10 word for word.
• At 23 years old had a NDE, and visited Heaven (Oneness), and Hell; which confirmed what I'd always known, that i was sent from Heaven.
• At 24/25 started reading the Bible, and have been guided to know many things; plus was shown much of it in advance, which can all be textnically confirmed.
• At 29 realized that we can search Google for the New name of Christ, which is Sananda; can also show my name in Zoroastrianism (Zand-Avesta, Mazda), Hinduism (Skanda), Buddhism (Skanda), etc. Can show tons of metaphoric symbolism as well (Zanda).

Since 25 been doing as instructed; yet the religious people of the world I've spoken to clearly don't seem interested in the facts of the case on their own....Thus why try on a larger scale?

So really not sure what to do anymore; know i make silly posts, about it doesn't bother me; yet just like Arjuna I'm torn between my own conscience, prophetic statements, people's religious beliefs, and wanting to do what is right by everyone.

Btw, scares the Hell out of me making a post like this, as we're near Hell, and thus i don't trust people not to confuse it in someway; yet also sick of feeling trapped by not saying it all openly.

 

[Rival]

I'm very sorry you feel this way Wizanda. I can't say I know how you feel regarding your experiences, but I know what it is to be suicidal. Though I do disagree with you on nearly everything, it pains me to know that you feel this way.

Go stick your teeth in the recent vegetarianism thread.

 

[Dawnofhope]

Really not sure what to do with what has been shown to me since young or meant to do to serve everyone fairly, and so it makes me feel suicidal, as can't cope with the overwhelming emotions from it.

Basically to list everything:

• As a 3/4 year old would dream the Tribulation occurring in our life time, with no prior knowledge, and matching what is documented in many eschatologies.
• Since 4 always knew i was an Avatar from Heaven, with a sacred name, that is within many religions.
  
• At 5/6 years old knew Yeshua didn't say "I Am" (Ego I-mee), and as a 25 year old would go over the Bible with a large magnifying glass/fine tooth comb, to discover why the world had already been convinced of a lie.
• At 15 years old was spoken to from a being outside of our realm of existence, that asked me to study all religions, and build a place that peace would spread from. Then a series of events will happen, Tribulation, Day of the Lord, and then age of Godliness; where those that are Godly have already been chosen to return.
• At 22 years old me and a group of friends were all called to a sacred mountain, and two years later when reading the bible properly, realized had fulfilled Revelation 10 word for word.
• At 23 years old had a NDE, and visited Heaven (Oneness), and Hell; which confirmed what I'd always known, that i was sent from Heaven.
• At 24/25 started reading the Bible, and have been guided to know many things; plus was shown much of it in advance, which can all be textnically confirmed.
• At 29 realized that we can search Google for the New name of Christ, which is Sananda; can also show my name in Zoroastrianism (Zand-Avesta, Mazda), Hinduism (Skanda), Buddhism (Skanda), etc. Can show tons of metaphoric symbolism as well (Zanda).

Since 25 been doing as instructed; yet the religious people of the world I've spoken to clearly don't seem interested in the facts of the case on their own....Thus why try on a larger scale?

So really not sure what to do anymore; know i make silly posts, about it doesn't bother me; yet just like Arjuna I'm torn between my own conscience, prophetic statements, people's religious beliefs, and wanting to do what is right by everyone.

Btw, scares the Hell out of me making a post like this, as we're near Hell, and thus i don't trust people not to confuse it in someway; yet also sick of feeling trapped by not saying it all openly.

Sounds like a really hard place to be. I enjoy chatting to you. You are eccentric and eclectic. We have many points of agreement but also many differences. God has the world sorted out. Have a break from being a saviour. It sounds like really hard work

 

[wizanda]

Though I do disagree with you on nearly everything

This is the point, not sure why anyone would disagree if they examined all the evidence with the right lenses on....

Plus rather than debating, realized have been sent to try to help people understand it.

When we can use both Zoroastrianism, and Jewish texts to establish what it is, and how things have taken place, really not sure why anyone would want to disagree.

Personally always still questioning, and am open to any new ideas of how things have been fulfilled to the letter, as so far it only confirms our experience even more.

God has the world sorted out.

God knows the beginning from the end, and since God has told me these things are going to take affect, I've tried to pretend since 15 it wasn't real to begin, still reading religious texts, yet not being as serious about the prophetic implications...

Then on our conversations around the web, each time having scrutinized each point within the religious texts to justify exactly what is taking place... I'm scared..

Yet not from what God is doing, the end of reality that is fine, can handle that, if God is the one in control...

What people are doing to each other, the suffering we're causing in the world right now, and what is about to happen in the middle east is horrifying...

Personally think based on everything, we heavily contribute to the Tribulation, and basically destroy the planet soon, so God has to reset it.

Have a break from being a saviour.

Not a saviour, more like Jonah or Noah according to prophetic references, and what always known....Which is why hate myself, as could've started at 5 years old, even if i couldn't read back then.

The Mother of All Harlots is the fallacies within the Biblical texts causing the Abomination of Desolation.... It is about to be removed in a day, then 1000 years peace, and Harmony.

It sounds like really hard work

I'd give my life to talk about God, which already done in many lifes; that bit is easy...

The bit that is hard to take, is the prophetic fulfillment taking place, the knowledge of having known it, not only in this life, yet in each before it, and still not being able to change the outcome.

Like destiny has a course, and regardless of which way you sail, we still end up being blown to the destination it has chosen.

 

[YmirGF]

As others have said, Wizanda, I'm very sorry to hear you are in this predicament. Maybe it's time to take stock and re-evaluate where you are coming from, where you are and where you are going.

 

[icehorse]

This is the point, not sure why anyone would disagree if they examined all the evidence with the right lenses on

First off, stay safe!!

Second, try to remember that others have had unexplainable experiences that are very different than yours. I know I have, and I have come to very different conclusions.

 

[dawny0826]

Be kind to yourself.

 

[wizanda]

Maybe it's time to take stock and re-evaluate where you are coming from, where you are and where you are going.

I've tried so many angles, not sure what else to try; other than maybe something like in the Matrix, where Neo attempts something so big, they just didn't expect it.

As for me re-examining everything that has happened, my own sanity, and what is portrayed within the text; this is the thing can show it clearly now, what knew as a 5 year old as an energy pattern, with calculated precision like the code of my website within religious text...

... Just do i want to? Is it worth it? Do people listen? Can anyone change? Have religions actually changed people's psyche? Even if establishing something perfect; for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, so am i best just to remain silent, and leave the world to fail without trying to help? Can i live with myself in infinity if i didn't try? I've spent infinity reexamining, and a life time; i used to sit in school day dreaming about these days of actually explaining to the world, and the results, consequences, and possibilities.

As for me external to the religious prophecy stuff, I'm fine, would like to make music; yet seriously can't pretend to myself haven't had all these things happen.

Second, try to remember that others have had unexplainable experiences that are very different than yours. I know I have, and I have come to very different conclusions.

Well aware, had 13 years online talking to people, and still fascinated in everyone's accounts...

Understandably people's experiences could lead them to different conclusions; an unspecific event, might lead to an unspecific outcome.

If we go over the list of things that has happened in my life, I've known complex patterns within a textual documents since young, and can show systematically how these exist.

There are too many miracles in my life, where something outside of a linear timeline has interacted with my life, that are undeniable to anyone who has witnessed it.

Thus eventually even the biggest skeptic which i am, makes a post like this saying do you know what, the evidence really is sufficient for me to say.

Be kind to yourself.

Thank you, have got better at it lately; been trying to care for myself more, so can do more to help others.

 

[Dawnofhope]

Like destiny has a course, and regardless of which way you sail, we still end up being blown to the destination it has chosen.

Hope today is a better for you.

 

[wizanda]

Hope today is a better for you.

Thank you, the panic has stopped now, as to begin with 15 years ago think had similar to post traumatic stress on discovering it was real....

Now just in a somber norm, with advanced knowledge of the divine, and no one really interested, so just bemused waiting for the Tribulation.

 

[wizanda]

Everyone saying they feel sorry for me, really don't get what is being said...

If the prophetic fulfillments are right, it means most are to be removed shortly; so it isn't my loss, I'm just mourning as can't make anyone understand what Oneness is, people can only experience it...

It is just frustrating not to be able to make change, not to have someway to turn it around; so if anyone hears me sounding sharp at times, these are some of the reasons why...

Though apologies in advance, as don't mean to.

 

[Jeremiahcp]

I can't share in the sympathy of others. You seem to be talking about suicide simply because others reject your religious beliefs. There are people in this world with real problems and they push on, it just seem petty to consider suicide for the reasons you listed.

But if it is any consultation consider the myth of Sisyphus, as told by Camus.

The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.

The Myth of Sisyphus

Here is the rest of it, but I would strongly recommend you read the actual book The Myth of Sisyphus, by Albert Camus. The book starts out:

There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest — whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories — comes afterwards.

All philosophical journeys should start out by answering the "one truly serious philosophical problem."

 

[Kilgore Trout]

You might want to consider the possibility that you're not special, just in need of some assistance. This is pretty much universally the case in these situations. Our pattern recognition drive, combined with our propensity for ego-attachment, can easily get off kilter and lead many people down a path of their own creation, which they cannot escape from themselves.

 

[wizanda]

You seem to be talking about suicide simply because others reject your religious beliefs.

Not in the slightest, it is more that we're near Hell, i've recognized demons within people since birth...

Having now studied many of the religious texts, saying we're demons...

It literally scares the Hell out of me being down here.

Thus suicide is really like escaping back home to a place where every being is unconditionally loving and wise.

Within a few NDE cases, people have a feeling of homesickness after, and a longing to return.

There are people in this world with real problems and they push on, it just seem petty to consider suicide for the reasons you listed.

Please forgive me, I'm mortified by some of the things we all see happening in the world...

Yet it isn't escape, as saying, it is more to come back with a solution; as personally see all prophecy is going to happen, and mankind is about to wipe its self out.

All philosophical journeys should start out by answering the "one truly serious philosophical problem."

It is an interesting question, and having pondered it a lot of my life, I'd say life it self is worth living (depending on extenuating circumstance).

You might want to consider the possibility that you're not special, just in need of some assistance.

Of course, have tried assessing it repeatedly, questioning maybe these things didn't actually happen, etc....

Yet that then becomes borderline crazy to start removing parts of your own history, to try to fit with some logic that others might present without any knowledge of the experience.

Thus in trying to be logical, there are far to many known variables that could be shown to someone with enough time; that confirm both my experience, what been shown, and what will happen is highly likely based on all evidence available to us.

Our pattern recognition drive, combined with our propensity for ego-attachment, can easily get off kilter and lead many people down a path of their own creation, which they cannot escape from themselves.

Yeah like in the film and book Beautiful Mind; having worked in Mental health care am well aware of the ease that schizophrenics have in interlinking things in a none logical way, just to soothe their own hurt ego.

Yet question the topic, ask any questions based on time, can consistently explain this across my life, my thoughts at that age, etc...

Like I'm a skeptic, you can see me arguing against peoples own ideas consistently for ages on here, and tried to argue myself into depression with not accepting the facts.

 

[Jeremiahcp]

Not in the slightest, it is more that we're near Hell, i've recognized demons within people since birth...

Having now studied many of the religious texts, saying we're demons...

It literally scares the Hell out of me being down here.

Thus suicide is really like escaping back home to a place where every being is unconditionally loving and wise.

Within a few NDE cases, people have a feeling of homesickness after, and a longing to return.

Please forgive me, I'm mortified by some of the things we all see happening in the world...

Yet it isn't escape, as saying, it is more to come back with a solution; as personally see all prophecy is going to happen, and mankind is about to wipe its self out.

It is an interesting question, and having pondered it a lot of my life, I'd say life it self is worth living (depending on extenuating circumstance).

Of course, have tried assessing it repeatedly, questioning maybe these things didn't actually happen, etc....

Yet that then becomes borderline crazy to start removing parts of your own history, to try to fit with some logic that others might present without any knowledge of the experience.

Thus in trying to be logical, there are far to many known variables that could be shown to someone with enough time; that confirm both my experience, what been shown, and what will happen is highly likely based on all evidence available to us.

Yeah like in the film and book Beautiful Mind; having worked in Mental health care am well aware of the ease that schizophrenics have in interlinking things in a none logical way, just to soothe their own hurt ego.

Yet question the topic, ask any questions based on time, can consistently explain this across my life, my thoughts at that age, etc...

Like I'm a skeptic, you can see me arguing against peoples own ideas consistently for ages on here, and tried to argue myself into depression with not accepting the facts.

"It is an interesting question, and having pondered it a lot of my life, I'd say life it self is worth living (depending on extenuating circumstance)."

I don't believe life is inherently worth living, it is something you have to work for.

Before his death Socrates famously said "The unexamined life is not worth living." It is the foundation of a philosophical outlook that says you must examine your life and make it worth living. Now I have read the writings of Xenophon and I am not sure if that is exactly what Socrates meant, but nonetheless I think the philosophy itself is true even if Socrates was just the spark. That is what I try to do, live every day of my life to make a life worth living.

 

[wizanda]

Before his death Socrates famously said "The unexamined life is not worth living."

Thank you, appreciate the questioning, and quotations...

Found Seneca useful, in terms of lowering our expectations, as long as we remember here is near Hell; it all makes sense of what we see around us, and then don't raise our expectations, this avoids the disappointment

That is what I try to do, live every day of my life to make a life worth living.

Agree, and if had more time would love to surf, fly, and many other things; yet that depresses me, as known not got the time, which means i depress you, which depresses me further.

If i go out get an overwhelming sense of guilt many times, due to feeling, and seeing many people getting on, and knowing these events will take place...

Some times i get fired up, and think can make the whole world listen; then realize how dumb that sounds, when they didn't previously.

So personally just trying to learn to find balance in the middle of a storm; whilst enjoying every day as it comes, with no attachment to anything.

 

[wizanda]

Really wish could find a way to get through to people with some of the information, as personally really would like to create world peace; not pretend that I'm just a normal forum user, whilst consciously waiting for the destruction of the world (Tribulation).

Realize that people have spent so long arguing over some of these points within the texts, that they're determined they're right, and even when mentioning my credentials, it often causes an opposite reaction of ridicule, rather than examining the evidence.

When it comes down to it as well, there is far more evidence substantiating Yeshua's case, compared to my own; yet when we can not even get past the basics, without some people dismissing all the evidence, not sure how to progress.

Like fair enough i get a new world with only those who are Godly, and the rest are to be removed; so should be happy that this time to come exists, yet still see it as unfair, still know i can do more...

Yet what, how, when i can't even convince people using all the resources of modern technology?

Sort of wondering what if we started from the opposite premise, like first explain I'm sent from Heaven before the Tribulation; so it is either listen or else...

As with the ultimatum it might make people be a bit more cautious, not to dismiss all the evidence; maybe they might take it a bit more seriously; yet then ponder why would they, when many didn't take all the eschatology globally seriously before.

Anyways thanks for reading, and any ideas are always welcome.

 

[wizanda]

After debating religious people online (Paltalk & Religious Forums) the guilt is diminishing; as realizing people are just jokers down near Hell, and regardless of how well the case is expressed, what is prophesied will occur.

Also thanks to people's arguments, found that Judaism's Archangels has one called Sandalphon, which then sounds similar to Sananda being the new name of Christ.

Thus tho I know I'm sent from Heaven before the Tribulation, if people are not going to take it seriously, decided to just accept this is a comedy-horror we're in, and also not take everyone's lifes so seriously.

In my opinion.

 

[wizanda]

Here are some of the name references globally; where my name has always been Zanda and Zan for short:

• Sandalphon (Judaism),
• Yeshua (Sananda) (New Name of Christ),
• Kalki/Skanda (Hinduism),
• Ahura Mazda + Saoshyant (Zand = Exegesis) (Zoroastrianism),
• Maitreya (Ananda) (Buddhism),
• Our Elohim Zion (Psalms 146:10, Psalms 147:12, Isaiah 52:7),
• etc.

Literally can anyone be logical in this world, and actually take this seriously; before WW3 would be nice?

In my opinion.

 

[sooda]

First off, stay safe!!

Second, try to remember that others have had unexplainable experiences that are very different than yours. I know I have, and I have come to very different conclusions.

Why were you so frightened as a little kid? What influenced you so early on? Sorry I addressed my questions to the wrong person.