Pastor Issues An Apology For Making Girls Wear One-Piece Swimsuits

[Martin]

 

[Meow Mix]

I hated that everybody assumed I was 'showing off'. I am unfortunately well endowed, and sometimes its embarrassing. Like being told that I need to 'cover up' because I'm being too showy, though in reality, on anyone else what I'm wearing would be totally normal.

I remember being a teen, and coming home in an outfit I'd designed and partially sewed myself. My mom's friend was horrified. It was kinda sexy, though my intent with the outfit(along with most of my clothes) was an artistic outlet, not to garner sexual attention. Thankfully, my mom had the right attitude. She laughed, and told her friend "She doesn't even know how to flirt!(It was true...) I'm not worried about her." And she changed the subject.

I'm both envious (it's hard to find clothes that fit a barely-b) and not (for the reasons you've said). It's kind of hard to "cover up" when they're right there, and this is why our culture and society needs to just get better about when it's appropriate to sexualize.

Also, sewing your own clothes sounds like a lot of fun! ^.^

 

[JustGeorge]

I'm both envious (it's hard to find clothes that fit a barely-b) and not (for the reasons you've said). It's kind of hard to "cover up" when they're right there, and this is why our culture and society needs to just get better about when it's appropriate to sexualize.

Also, sewing your own clothes sounds like a lot of fun! ^.^

Its hard to find clothes that fit once you go past the single letter sizes, too. I wish they had a different sizing system... In recent years I've taken to ordering clothes I can have tailor made for little extra cost. The attention was real troublesome in my teens, but by the time I hit my mid 20s, I'd turned it into a practical joke to kick any sexualizing to the curb. It worked, most of the time.

Sewing my own was really fun, but the design aspect was what brought me the real joy. Sometimes it required getting out the sewing machine, but other times it was just the pairing or altering of pieces...

 

[HonestJoe]

Teaching teenage boys to be “men” is like asking a dog not to salivate over a piece of meat.

You can't teach dogs not to salivate but you can teach them not to jump on the table and grab the food. Otherwise, dog owners would never be able to eat meat in front of their dogs. It is perfectly natural for us to find other people sexually attractive, including people that we can't (or shouldn't!) have any kind of sexual relationship with. For 99.9% of people 99.9% or the time, that is not a major issue, it's a fact we just live with. You certainly can't eliminate it with dress codes.

To expect teenage girls in bikinis not to arouse teenage boys is a classic case of wishful thinking IMO.

If you don't think a one-piece swimsuit can't be sexually appealing (especially to a teenager), you have no imagination. Part of the reason this situation appears so ridiculous is that the only distinction their rule was making is whether the girls stomach was covered or not. It's perfectly possible to have a modest two-piece (especially ones specifically designed for girls) and perfectly possible to have a very alluring one-piece.

If you really wanted to prevent teenage boys from being aroused, you'd have to keep them apart from the girls entirely, regardless of what they were wearing.

 

[firedragon]

It's good that he sounds sorry. It takes a big man to apologize / admit a mistake. One of us should still probably dance in his yard in a two-piece just in case, though.

It shouldn't be me. He will kill himself.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

Pastor Issues An Apology For Making Girls Wear One-Piece Swimsuits, And His Honest Letter Goes Viral

Every time I read things like I can't help but think that while this is a step in the right direction of this man's thought, he is still engaged in believing plenty of other things without good evidence, or without having taken things to various "more accurate" conclusions. Like his idea about cleavage - sure he's accepting of cleavage without labeling it "sin" now, but still has his hang ups about body parts showing, and would still likely label visible breasts "sinful." It shows a lack of thinking critically about our nature as human beings who simply "have body parts." He likely doesn't think of humans as animals like many others on this planet, and hasn't made the comparison to the fact that no other animals wear clothing, and that our clothing is more accurately thought of as a form of protection for our fragile human physical state than it is as a covering up of our "naughty bits." There are no naughty bits - except as one might subjectively hold in their mind (i.e. imagine). He also makes reference to cliche, meaningless phrases like "teach boys to be men" - as if "being a man" comes along with some objectively measurable criteria. In other words... he still doesn't understand that what he does and doesn't take issue with is entirely up to himself, and allows certain distinctions to be made for him by the sway of "society." He is deferring judgment to "God" or some book, or his pastor before him, or whoever/whatever. It is a form of immaturity, in my estimation. And I deem this man still very, very immature based on what I am reading.

 

[Twilight Hue]

I'm both envious (it's hard to find clothes that fit a barely-b) and not (for the reasons you've said). It's kind of hard to "cover up" when they're right there, and this is why our culture and society needs to just get better about when it's appropriate to sexualize.

Also, sewing your own clothes sounds like a lot of fun! ^.^

I howl at the moon at boobs among other wobbly attractive and appealing aspects of the sexes.

Its an affirmation that boys can't control themselves and women are too forthcoming so a solution was to shoot oneself in the foot.

Neither is true nor false, so the issue is simply over candor and common courtesy.

Not the dressage and the skin it entails. Buuutttt....


It does make me wonder if men with protruding bellies should henceforth walk around in well enhanced speedos, and see what people think of it in terms of covering up.

 

[Justanatheist]

Interesting response from this Pastor.....but it reflects the ways of the world, not really the teachings of Christ. (1 John 2:15-17) Modesty in our dress has always been the Biblical recommendation.....and with good reason. Teaching teenage boys to be “men” is like asking a dog not to salivate over a piece of meat. Teenage boys are not men and maturity will hopefully be achieved as they “grow up” (but sadly some never do)

To expect teenage girls in bikinis not to arouse teenage boys is a classic case of wishful thinking IMO.

What is a bikini after all? Aren’t you placing colored ‘flags’ on those parts of the female body that males find attractive? Should not the girls do their part in not offering those temptations in front of immature males whose hormones are over-active and self control is not yet developed? A dose of reality is needed here I think. Christians need to follow the Bible’s advice and not follow the ways of the world.

For a pastor to make this apology, I’m sorry.....he should be making it to Jesus IMO. (1Timothy 2:9-10; Philippians 3:17-19)

Why do you think your god decided to make it this way?

 

[Justanatheist]

It never ceases to amaze me how much power people give these representatives of religion, why did anyone give a monkeys about what this moron thought, just move to the church down the road until the power mad fool is removed. Remember people like this only have power because YOU let them!

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

Interesting response from this Pastor.....but it reflects the ways of the world, not really the teachings of Christ. (1 John 2:15-17) Modesty in our dress has always been the Biblical recommendation.....and with good reason. Teaching teenage boys to be “men” is like asking a dog not to salivate over a piece of meat. Teenage boys are not men and maturity will hopefully be achieved as they “grow up” (but sadly some never do)

To expect teenage girls in bikinis not to arouse teenage boys is a classic case of wishful thinking IMO.

There are cultures out there wherein breasts are openly displayed at all times, and they are not even given a second thought as an object of sexual desire. In at least one of those same cultures, the girls always where skirts and the knees are never seen. Guess what body part the men DO get riled up over in that culture? Knees. It all has to do with what is normalized versus what is "prized" from a psychological standpoint. In other words, I believe very strongly that your Bible's "modesty in dress recommendation" achieves the exact opposite of what it is (apparently) hoping for. All you do is further setup those body parts up as coveted enigma. The thinking and practice is flawed - set in place by people whose maturity level will likely never reach a useful stride.

What is a bikini after all? Aren’t you placing colored ‘flags’ on those parts of the female body that males find attractive?

Proof is in the pudding. That culture who prizes knees as objects of sexual attraction? They would wonder what the heck was wrong with the girls wearing "flags" on their breasts, and think no more of it.

Should not the girls do their part in not offering those temptations in front of immature males whose hormones are over-active and self control is not yet developed? A dose of reality is needed here I think. Christians need to follow the Bible’s advice and not follow the ways of the world.

Sure, sure, Christians can follow the immature, poorly thought out dictates of the Bible. Leave everyone else out of it.

For a pastor to make this apology, I’m sorry.....he should be making it to Jesus IMO. (1Timothy 2:9-10; Philippians 3:17-19)

And where might such an apology be directed, I wonder? Have an address? Or is this more talk of calling out to the ether and expecting that this accomplishes anything?

 

[SkepticThinker]

Interesting response from this Pastor.....but it reflects the ways of the world, not really the teachings of Christ. (1 John 2:15-17) Modesty in our dress has always been the Biblical recommendation.....and with good reason. Teaching teenage boys to be “men” is like asking a dog not to salivate over a piece of meat. Teenage boys are not men and maturity will hopefully be achieved as they “grow up” (but sadly some never do)

Then I guess we should be teaching these teenage boys how to act maturely instead of just brushing it aside as "boys will be boys" and making girls cover up because it's too hard to teach boys to have some impulse control. That's how we perpetuate and maintain rape culture and victim blaming. No thanks. Let's teach boys how to control themselves so they can grow up to be productive, functioning members of society. Let's change the narrative and build a better world.

To expect teenage girls in bikinis not to arouse teenage boys is a classic case of wishful thinking IMO.

You know, teenage girls are awfully hormonal as well. How come we're not demanding that boys wear full swimsuits that cover their entire bodies so that the girls won't be tempted by their naked chests? Almost seems like a weird double standard, doesn't it? Telling, isn't it? It's almost like these girls are being sexualized by the adults around them.

What is a bikini after all? Aren’t you placing colored ‘flags’ on those parts of the female body that males find attractive?

That's one way to look at it, I guess. That kinda assumes that the only reason females are wearing swimsuits is to draw male attention to their bodies, doesn't it? That's not why I wear a bikini.

A bikini is a garment that people put on parts of their body they don't want exposed when they go swimming. It's kind of hard to swim if you're fully clothed, right?

Should not the girls do their part in not offering those temptations in front of immature males whose hormones are over-active and self control is not yet developed? A dose of reality is needed here I think. Christians need to follow the Bible’s advice and not follow the ways of the world.

No. It's not temptation. It's just plain old swimming.

These teenage boys are going to grow up to be men one day. How about we don't teach them that just because a girl wears something "revealing" that the girl's reason for doing so is some kind of attempt to tempt and seduce men? Especially if they're just trying to go for a swim? A dose of reality is definitely needed here. I'm tired of adults sexualizing young girls in this way.

For a pastor to make this apology, I’m sorry.....he should be making it to Jesus IMO. (1Timothy 2:9-10; Philippians 3:17-19)

I say good on him for acknowledging the error in his judgment.

 

[SkepticThinker]

Also re: the bras thing. I remember in small town schools so much as having *gasp* a bra strap visible was scandalous.

Yes! I remember the boys used to try to grab the straps and snap them, which really hurt.
I always remember wondering why such behavior was allowed as though it were perfectly normal. Why is it okay for some stranger to grab the strap of my undergarments in some attempt to slap them against my skin in order to hurt me?
Bizarre.

 

[JustGeorge]

Every time I read things like I can't help but think that while this is a step in the right direction of this man's thought, he is still engaged in believing plenty of other things without good evidence, or without having taken things to various "more accurate" conclusions. Like his idea about cleavage - sure he's accepting of cleavage without labeling it "sin" now, but still has his hang ups about body parts showing, and would still likely label visible breasts "sinful." It shows a lack of thinking critically about our nature as human beings who simply "have body parts." He likely doesn't think of humans as animals like many others on this planet, and hasn't made the comparison to the fact that no other animals wear clothing, and that our clothing is more accurately thought of as a form of protection for our fragile human physical state than it is as a covering up of our "naughty bits." There are no naughty bits - except as one might subjectively hold in their mind (i.e. imagine). He also makes reference to cliche, meaningless phrases like "teach boys to be men" - as if "being a man" comes along with some objectively measurable criteria. In other words... he still doesn't understand that what he does and doesn't take issue with is entirely up to himself, and allows certain distinctions to be made for him by the sway of "society." He is deferring judgment to "God" or some book, or his pastor before him, or whoever/whatever. It is a form of immaturity, in my estimation. And I deem this man still very, very immature based on what I am reading.

I agree, its lacking, but better a step in the right direction than being stuck in the mud. Maybe in a few years, if he keeps an open mind, he'll understand why it wasn't enough for some people.

\

You know, teenage girls are awfully hormonal as well. How come we're not demanding that boys wear full swimsuits that cover their entire bodies so that the girls won't be tempted by their naked chests? Almost seems like a weird double standard, doesn't it? Telling, isn't it? It's almost like these girls are being sexualized by the adults around them.

Seriously... As a teenaged girl, I probably would have been stealing looks at the boys(if any of them were worth looking at). Why is the sexuality of teenaged boys viewed as problematic, but that of teenaged girls swept under the rug?

During part of my youth, my best friend was a boy, and an attractive one at that. He got hit on all the time, and it drove him nuts. No one takes a boy getting too much unwanted female attention seriously, but if its flopped, a lot of concern goes out.

 

[sun rise]

we should be teaching these teenage boys how to act maturely instead of just brushing it aside as "boys will be boys" and making girls cover up because it's too hard to teach boys to have some impulse control. That's how we perpetuate and maintain rape culture and victim blaming. No thanks. Let's teach boys how to control themselves so they can grow up to be productive, functioning members of society. Let's change the narrative and build a better world.

The other extreme alternative is the burqa and total sexual separation because anything can excite an adolescent male as I know from having been one in the far distant past.

 

[Clara Tea]

Women please gorge yourself to make your bodies disgusting and unappealing.

Men, don't go to outings with unattractive women. Go to Daytona Beach instead.

Problem solved.

There is much that I don't understand. Which part of the bikini do they eliminate to make a two piece into a one piece? Top? Bottom? Why would a pastor want to eliminate one piece?

I also don't understand the freeways of Daytona. When I got on, they didn't let me off for 500 miles, and they made me go around in a circle all that time.

Unlike the other Daytona cars, mine is a Toyota Prius, so I kept rejecting their kind offers (sometimes rather insistent) to change my tires or add gasoline. So, while other cars raced past me, I went at a slow and regular pace, never stopping for gas (it's a hybrid), and never wasting time by stopping for maintenance (Toyotas never break down, and even the tires last forever), and at the end of the freeway, they handed me a huge trophy.

This is like atheism. The atheist doesn't know that he's in a race (to get into heaven). He plods his way slowly through life, rejecting war (while rabid Christians who voted for W. Bush believe that God said "thou shalt kill)." These Christians made wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and tried to plant phony evidence (with Wilson, and threatened Plame) to make war in Niger. George Bush (president and CIA director) announced a new world order, which, according to papers smuggled by Eric Snowden, proved that the new world order is about spying on phones, spying on the internet, spying on email, and preventing free speech. The atheist helps the poor, hungry, homeless, and sick (universal health care, aka Obamacare rejected by the Religious Right), and preserves God's environment. In the end, the atheist is handed a trophy....entrance to heaven. Contrary to those who say that one has to believe in Christ, good people get into heaven, and bad people don't (which is why heaven is heavenly, and hell is so hellish).

It isn't enough to believe in Christ, one must do the things that Christ would do. It isn't enough to know Christianity, one must follow the commandments and not break them. It isn't enough to know every detail of the bible, one must obey God. We don't have to be as smart as God and know how everything works. We can bump along in life and always do the right things and still get to our destination.

We might be clueless going through life, eliminating parts of bikinis, getting Daytona trophies and free passes to heaven, and not realizing why....but, somewhere, there is a very powerful entity watching our progress and handing out trophies.

 

[JustGeorge]

The other extreme alternative is the burqa and total sexual separation because anything can excite an adolescent male as I know from having been one in the far distant past.

I know someone in a very conservative area of the world who said someone he knows was sexualized because...her hands showed. She wears very conservative clothing(including niqab), but because the skin on her hands were showing, it was too much for someone...

 

[Twilight Hue]

There is much that I don't understand. Which part of the bikini do they eliminate to make a two piece into a one piece? Top? Bottom? Why would a pastor want to eliminate one piece?

I also don't understand the freeways of Daytona. When I got on, they didn't let me off for 500 miles, and they made me go around in a circle all that time.

Unlike the other Daytona cars, mine is a Toyota Prius, so I kept rejecting their kind offers (sometimes rather insistent) to change my tires or add gasoline. So, while other cars raced past me, I went at a slow and regular pace, never stopping for gas (it's a hybrid), and never wasting time by stopping for maintenance (Toyotas never break down, and even the tires last forever), and at the end of the freeway, they handed me a huge trophy.

This is like atheism. The atheist doesn't know that he's in a race (to get into heaven). He plods his way slowly through life, rejecting war (while rabid Christians who voted for W. Bush believe that God said "thou shalt kill)." These Christians made wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and tried to plant phony evidence (with Wilson, and threatened Plame) to make war in Niger. George Bush (president and CIA director) announced a new world order, which, according to papers smuggled by Eric Snowden, proved that the new world order is about spying on phones, spying on the internet, spying on email, and preventing free speech. The atheist helps the poor, hungry, homeless, and sick (universal health care, aka Obamacare rejected by the Religious Right), and preserves God's environment. In the end, the atheist is handed a trophy....entrance to heaven. Contrary to those who say that one has to believe in Christ, good people get into heaven, and bad people don't (which is why heaven is heavenly, and hell is so hellish).

It isn't enough to believe in Christ, one must do the things that Christ would do. It isn't enough to know Christianity, one must follow the commandments and not break them. It isn't enough to know every detail of the bible, one must obey God. We don't have to be as smart as God and know how everything works. We can bump along in life and always do the right things and still get to our destination.

We might be clueless going through life, eliminating parts of bikinis, getting Daytona trophies and free passes to heaven, and not realizing why....but, somewhere, there is a very powerful entity watching our progress and handing out trophies.

After careful consideration and research into the topic, I have come to the conclusion that it's actually northern women and men whom suffer such a travesty.

Daytona is but a cure among many for such an aliment, particularly come spring when all swim downstream for the annual spawning and festivity of womanhood and manhood at full bloom.

Incidentally in regards to the throughway system, that only applies if you keep turning left. A common malady for sure.

 

[Deeje]

Making girls ashamed of their bodies and blaming them for the bad behavior of boys

Sexualization of children and young teens has become an industry....

Where do young girls get the idea that dressing and acting in a sexually provocative fashion is OK?
That it has no negative consequences.
Doesn't the teen pregnancy rate show us that something is wrong with the way kids are taught about sex?

rather than actually teaching them manners and holding them accountable for their own actions is simply an imbecilic thought.

Good luck with teaching teens manners. And since when do we live in a world who hold minors to any kind of account? They know you can't touch them....but are they free then to touch each other? If you want to describe something imbecilic, then there it is.
They have all the rights and no responsibility, and these days are often raised by parents who don't give a damn what their kids are doing....

If the "Pastor" in this case was about teaching or promoting Christian values to these girls, as is his job, then an apology like that was irresponsible. Making people accountable works both ways.....both boys and girls have to be accountable for their behavior......and it understands that immaturity gives kids no rights to sexual activity if they cannot be held accountable for the outcome....be it STD's or pregnancy.

 

[JustGeorge]

Good luck with teaching teens manners. And since when do we live in a world who hold minors to any kind of account? They know you can't touch them....but are they free then to touch each other? If you want to describe something imbecilic, then there it is.
They have all the rights and no responsibility, and these days are often raised by parents who don't give a damn what their kids are doing....

Teaching teens manners might be difficult, but its our job to try... Besides, its not good to blanket the whole group. Teens get a bad rap, but I've met many wonderful teenagers. I actually used to teach the teen 'YoUUth' group at our local UU church, and they actually instilled a bit of comfort in me. In these guys were coming up to be the next generation... I was alright with that. They were thoughtful, intelligent, and helpful. Honestly, they were more mature than most of the adult congregation.

Actually, we used to have a nice JW girl come to our house. , She wasn't quite a teen, but she wasn't very old... 20ish would have been my guess. She was a good representation of kind hearted young people.

Sometimes parents don't give a rat's hindquarters, but most do. I have a teen. We're up against a lot in raising them right now. Perhaps parents always were, but this is my first teen, so I can't say what it was like to raise them before.

 

[Meow Mix]

Sexualization of children and young teens has become an industry....

Where do young girls get the idea that dressing and acting in a sexually provocative fashion is OK?

I'd look to the parents on this pageantry stuff. This isn't an argument against adults doing things, it's an argument that some parents are garbage.