People Who Discuss Other People

[Papoon]

And no, I am not trying to invalidate your OP. I was trying to make clear that gossip has valid social functions.

 

[Rival]

And no, not necessarily malicious. I said:

I'm just not into what one might call gossip; but I don't use the word gossip because it has negative connotations and I don't just mean people talking bullsh about other people, I mean just generally talking about them.

 

[Papoon]

Not everyone is an intellectual. Should they just shut up in your opinion ?

 

[Rival]

And no, I am not trying to invalidate your OP. I was trying to make clear that gossip has valid social functions.

Problem is I'm not a very social person. I'm introverted and become bored easily by such talk. I need friends who stimulate my brain with new ideas and things.

 

[Rival]

Not everyone is an intellectual. Should they just shut up in your opinion ?

I guess you could say: yes, I wish they'd shut up talking about other people to me.

 

[Papoon]

There you go. That's what my first reply addressed.

Edit - that was a reply to your second last post

 

[Papoon]

I guess you could say: yes, I wish they'd shut up talking about other people to me.

Tell them so. They may however stop talking to you at all.

 

[Papoon]

Problem is I'm not a very social person. I'm introverted and become bored easily by such talk. I need friends who stimulate my brain with new ideas and things.

Perhaps you overvalue introversion. Have you considered that possibility ?

 

[bobhikes]

Why do some people only seem to like to discuss other people? My dad likes to come in and tell me all about what other people have done and I'm like, Dad I really don't care. Teenagers especially are good at talking about other people and it really bothers me.

I'd rather discuss ideas and politics etc. I don't give a crap what other people are doing and I don't want to be told about it. Yet all most people seem to want to discuss is what other local people are doing.

Why?

For me people are interesting especially if you know them. You have a concept of what they are like built on very little so it easy to be surprised. Politics, Religion and Even science is the same thing day after day, week after week, and then maybe monthly or yearly something interesting happens. Of course Trump has spiked that a bit, but I rather not talk about Trump(Who is a person and not a politician)

People who talk politics, religion and science are generally just trying to convince you of there point, they are not open to actual discussion.

 

[Rival]

Tell them so. They may however stop talking to you at all.

I'd rather that, to be honest. It is no friend at all who you don't really get along with in the first place. So not losing anything. Shrug.

 

[Papoon]

I'd rather that, to be honest. It is no friend at all who you don't really get along with in the first place. So not losing anything. Shrug.

Maybe so. I'd like to continue this but my phone battery is dying...later

 

[Rival]

Perhaps you overvalue introversion. Have you considered that possibility ?

I don't choose to be an introvert. I don't give it any value at all, it's just what I happen to be.

 

[Quintessence]

Perhaps you overvalue introversion. Have you considered that possibility ?

A strange thing to ask, when at least in the United States, extroverts enjoys wide cultural privileges compared to introverts. I don't know, but for some reason this reads to me kinda like "perhaps you overvalue being an underprivileged racial minority in your country and should act more like the racial majority?" While perhaps unintentionally so, it's a touch ridiculous, in addition to being a touch offensive.

 

[McBell]

I didn't think I should need to clarify this but...

"And then Graham's mom died and now..."

"And he had sex with her and omg his girlfriend is gonna be ssooooo annoyed!"

"You know Jody next door? Well I heard from her uncle, who heard it from his best friend's sister that she and her husband got a new T.V. and now they get their porn in H.D."

This crap.

Ah.
In my neck of the woods we call that gossip.

The point being I now understand what you are talking about in the OP.

Thank you for the clarification.

 

[Rival]

Ah.
In my neck of the woods we call that gossip.

The point being I now understand what you are talking about in the OP.

Thank you for the clarification.

I refrained from using the word gossip though because gossip, at least over here, has the meaning of generally talking badly about others. My statement is more broad as I don't just necessarily mean folks who talk badly, though they are definitely included, but who just talk.

 

[YmirGF]

Why do some people only seem to like to discuss other people? My dad likes to come in and tell me all about what other people have done and I'm like, Dad I really don't care. Teenagers especially are good at talking about other people and it really bothers me.

I'd rather discuss ideas and politics etc. I don't give a crap what other people are doing and I don't want to be told about it. Yet all most people seem to want to discuss is what other local people are doing.

Why?

My guess is that it is overcompensating for the lack of accomplishment in their own life. And no, I'm not big on gossip and will generally change the subject at the first opportunity.

 

[Papoon]

I don't choose to be an introvert. I don't give it any value at all, it's just what I happen to be.

Possibly. That's a thorny question in itself. There are various characteristics which I have considered as 'just what I happen to be' which have changed substantially in my life. Sometimes by choice/training, sometimes as a result of experiences.

I actually made a choice to learn 'small talk', on the advice of a psychologist, years ago. At first the notion was quite foreign and uncomfortable to me. I can totally relate to where you're at. For most of my life, until maybe the last ten years (I'm 60), I was only interested in the deep end, not the shallows. I got ignored a lot too.

And I can't overestimate how many times I was told 'you talk too much'. Which really pizzed me off because I was very succinct, and actually said a lot less, in numbers of words, and minutes of conversation, than the people who said that to me.

What they actually meant was 'you mean too much'.

I'm guessing you know what I mean.

Anyway, I made a conscious decision to learn how to talk about mundanities. I eventually learned to appreciate that. It's like rock and roll, there is a simple formula, it's a bit shallow and throwaway, but that also allows anyone to enjoy it, while still leaving the option of occasional depth and insight.

 

[Rival]

Possibly. That's a thorny question in itself. There are various characteristics which I have considered as 'just what I happen to be' which have changed substantially in my life. Sometimes by choice/training, sometimes as a result of experiences.

I actually made a choice to learn 'small talk', on the advice of a psychologist, years ago. At first the notion was quite foreign and uncomfortable to me. I can totally relate to where you're at. For most of my life, until maybe the last ten years (I'm 60), I was only interested in the deep end, not the shallows. I got ignored a lot too.

And I can't overestimate how many times I was told 'you talk too much'. Which really pizzed me off because I was very succinct, and actually said a lot less, in numbers of words, and minutes of conversation, than the people who said that to me.

What they actually meant was 'you mean too much'.

I'm guessing you know what I mean.

Anyway, I made a conscious decision to learn how to talk about mundanities. I eventually learned to appreciate that. It's like rock and roll, there is a simple formula, it's a bit shallow and throwaway, but that also allows anyone to enjoy it, while still leaving the option of occasional depth and insight.

I'm glad it worked for you.

But not quite for me.

It just sounds like, Stop thinking.

 

[Papoon]

I'm glad it worked for you.

But not quite for me.

It just sounds like, Stop thinking.

I didn't stop thinking. I just stopped demanding others do. And meet people on their level.

Bozos - no value judgement, just 'what they happen to be', LOL

 

[Rival]

I didn't stop thinking. I just stopped demanding others do. And meet people on their level.

Bozos - no value judgement, just 'what they happen to be', LOL

On a more serious note: yes, they do just happen to be more extroverted and enjoy gossiping. I, however, am not like them and choose not to associate myself with them. But it sounds like what you're saying here is exactly what @Quintessence described: become more like an extrovert, because they are the majority. I'd honestly rather talk to no-one than talk to them.