Please can I have some help

[Fire Empire]

I'm a sixteen year old male myself and it's gotten to the point where mind and personality play the largest role in attraction for me. You can't possibly know what either person in that relationship is thinking.

Being 26 years, and male, yes--we can. And c'mon--you see a beautiful girl across the room and think "wow, she's got a really hot personality". No one is above physical attraction.

Really now? I like to think that I'm harder to coerce than most people, even though I'm sixteen. I see most popculture as moronic trash, am more inclined to accept cuddling rather than sex (though both would be great!), and prefer drugs only after researching them and making the decision myself.

You're a male. Most other males aren't trying to coerce you into sex now are they? Look around your school and you may find the story is different for the better looking female population.

I don't think that it is necessarily "always" on his mind. He might have thoughts about it from time to time, but that doesn't invalidate the relationship at all.

"Constantly", as in "often". As in, "trying to find other ways to keep the relationship going so that he can get what he really wants".

I like to think that there's always room to grow mentally, regardless of age.

I think there is a slight bias here though. I think that if the genders were reversed people wouldn't care near as much. 16 year old male and 25 year old female? A lot of males would say "Dude, that guys lucky!". QUOTE]
This we agree with. There's always more to learn (which is why we're here). But not many 25 year old women chose to hook-up with 16 year old males. Women tend to go for older guys, just as men tend to go for younger women (which is what we're talking about on this thread). The big question then is how young is too young, and should there be a sort of moral limit to the age range between them?

 

[martha]

IMHO, sixteen years and twenty five years of life equal lust. They are both very young. They have much to learn. Perhaps the young man truly finds her to be lovely and interesting, but let's face it there is a great gap in their intelligent thinking. He has nine full years of experience over her. She is all about the excitement of an older man paying her attention. It is probably a big deal to her. He is older and in her view, wiser. For him to pay interest to her is a very heady deal in a young girls mind. This view is only derived from my own experience and does not speak for all.


If their relationship has not become sexual, then that is good. If it has, then it is up to the older man to be very considerate of the possible outcomes of this union. Condom comes to mind! I don't know what the legal age of consent is in the different states. Frankly, most people who fall in lust don't go to the books to find out if it is legal to have an intimate relationship.

The older one, we can only hope, has enough on the ball to use discretion and common sense and a condom if common sense fails.

 

[Malus 12:9]

Druidus said it best.

If the law states a certain age, and both are age of the law, where's the issue? Why introduce these laws if you have issues with them?

 

[Ardent Listener]

Sixteen and twenty-five, eh? I think that as long as the relationship is kept legal (as in non-sexual) it's ok. If the male waits until she's legal, and they are both still interested, well, there's obviously a yearning for commitment.

Spoken like someone who doesn't have a 16 year old daughter.

 

[Druidus]

Spoken like someone who doesn't have a 16 year old daughter.

And having one would help me how? I believe I'll still hold this opinion 20 years from now. I may not like my possible future son or daughter dating an older man, but I understand that he/she has to make choices on her own. My role is to inform her, not to control her, at that age. Taking the stance that you have to "control" a teenager at that age is not going to lead anywhere except to problems.

 

[Ardent Listener]

And having one would help me how? I believe I'll still hold this opinion 20 years from now. I may not like my possible future son or daughter dating an older man, but I understand that he/she has to make choices on her own. My role is to inform her, not to control her, at that age. Taking the stance that you have to "control" a teenager at that age is not going to lead anywhere except to problems.

Sorry, I only meant that as a joke.:bonk: But get back to me about it if and when you have a 16 year old daughter.:biglaugh:

 

[Bennettresearch]

Ok, you're giving us the female perspective of a 17 year old (at the time), which tends to be considerably different than the intentions of a 26 year old. Just because the deed didn't get done, doesn't mean it wasn't constantly on his mind. Or, on the other hand, maybe he couldn't do better (no offense towards you intended) in his own age group due to some lack of social skills? Theories. Physically, a lot of female 16-17 year olds are in fact already women. Mentally, there is still a lot of room to grow.

Hi Fire,

Sad but true. The women in his age group are harder to get nowadys then back in the stone ages when I was young.

This 25 year old should grow some brain cells and run as fast as he can. A gap of nine years is nothing in relationships if the girl is at least over 18. He is risking a great deal. We called it "jail bait". The law is firm on this and yes, there are people that go onto the web to try and trap predators. Not to say he is one, but it doesn't matter to the law if you were just being stupid.

 

[Unedited]

I think some people here are underestimating the possible maturity of a 16 year-old girl.

 

[Fluffy]

Hmmm...interesting point, and possibly true. But we might suggest 16 year olds are easier to coerce than most 25 year olds--whether talking about sex, drugs, or MTV.

Yes and I'm sure that a 25 year old is easier to coerce into sex than a 60 year old. Does that mean that a 34 year old man should be prevented or discouraged from having a relationship with a 25 year old woman?

What significant stage is left in a human beings development once they are postpubescent?