Pre-marital Sex. Whats wrong with it?

[Nick Soapdish]

Cheapened for you. Enchancement for many. Pornography, strip clubs, sex toys ( i know you didn't mention this but christians seem to be against those too), threesomes, foursomes, mutual exhibitionism, bondage, video taping ect can be quite an stimulant for many couples. Not something that lowers the level of pleasure (cheapens?) but something that enchances and rises it.

I don't have a problem with sex toys.

As far as orgies, exhibitionism and pornography go, do you believe they increase the commitment and solidarity of a couple, or are they simply to obtain a greater level of sexual satisfaction?

 

[Altotheix]

 

[Majikthise]

Hello and welcome from New Bedford!

 

[Yerda]

why is PM sex wrong...cause it can lead to cancer!

yes a man sticking his pee pee in many diff women and a woman who sleeps with lots of different pee pees....allows for cancer..interestingly enough its only woman that get cancer..specifically cervical cancer from this....men can use their pee pee...but its the women htat have to have hysterectomys......

SO PM is bad for 1 simple reason ...DISEASE.....

Marriage confers no immunity to disease I believe.

It might be worth noting that people who like to have sex with different partners regularly, are not likely to be cooled down by a ring.

How can pre-marital sex be judged differently from marital sex? Many people have sex outside of marriage. Many people never get married. Lust is not wrong in any way I've ever experienced and I'm quite confident that sex benefits people psychologically (or spiritually if you like).

*When I say sex I mean between two or more people where mutual consent is present for the entirety of the interaction.

 

[may]

​

Are​

sexual relations before marriage wrong? for those who claim to follow the bible the answer is yes


​

(The Greek word por·nei´a, translated "fornication," refers to sexual intercourse between unmarried persons, also to extramarital relations on the part of married persons.)​

Eph. 5:5: "No fornicator or unclean person or greedy person—which means being an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of the Christ and of God." (This does not mean that anyone who in the past was a fornicator cannot enjoy the blessings of God’s Kingdom, but he must cease that way of life in order to have God’s approval. See 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.​

Is​

the Bible’s view regarding sex perhaps old-fashioned and needlessly restrictive?


​

1 Thess. 4:3-8: "This is what God wills . . . that you abstain from fornication . . . So, then, the man that shows disregard is disregarding, not man, but God, who puts his holy spirit in you." (The Bible’s view regarding sex is not simply something that was developed by certain humans who lived many years ago. It comes from mankind’s Creator; it makes clear what is required in order to have his approval; it also provides guidelines that contribute to stable families and wholesome, happy relationships outside the family. Those who apply this counsel safeguard themselves against the deep emotional scars and loathsome diseases that go with immoral conduct. The Bible’s counsel is very much up to date in meeting the needs of those who want a clean conscience before God and a life free from needless frustration.)

 

[michel]

I personally do not see anything 'wrong' with it per se; I have my cultural distate for the idea because my morals tell me that that is a 'no go' area. That was not because of Religious preaching.
Like with every topic, there are bound to be 'fors and againsts'. Th e one 'For' that I can immediately think of is that by having pre-marital sex with the person you intend to marry could be seen as a way of ensuring that both of you see 'sex' in the same light. I am aware of one marriage that came to grief because, once married, the husband found that his wife was incapable of penetrative sex due to some psychological 'block'. Would they not have married had each know the full implications of this? - I don't know. The other 'for' that I can justify is that pre-marital sex is a method of ensuring that you will be able to satisfy your partner ( kind of like an entrance exam) - No pun inted!

QUOTE[Women used to be sold by their fathers. Not a virgin? Low, low prices. Hence, the religious laws against pre-marital sex.
Note that the burden of proof was always on women, and it's still women who are more expected to be "pure."](Linwood Vs Lintu)
Linwood, Linto was explaining the source of the idea; he was not supporting it or saying that it was right. Be more careful before jumping down someone's throat.
QUOTE[Hoomer]yes a man sticking his pee pee in many diff women and a woman who sleeps with lots of different pee pees....allows for cancer..interestingly enough its only woman that get cancer..specifically cervical cancer from this....men can use their pee pee...but its the women htat have to have hysterectomys......
SO PM is bad for 1 simple reason ...DISEASE......
but otherwise...get some birth control...and show tthe person you care for ...how you really care......

I thought that this was actually regarded as true ( about the increased chance of cervical cancer). As for 'precautions-Birth Control) I will reitterate what I have said before; that is that too many seem to rely on the 'abortive' form of protection (i.e the 'pill) , whereas that method offers no 'barrier' protection whatsoever and therefore does nothing to help stop the increases in numbers of STD's.

Just as one final point, I loved the one about the mother who talked to her daughter before the daughter set out to Uni (where she would be staying away from her parents for the first time). Mum gave the daughter a packet of aspirin, telling her that they were as effective as the contraceptive pill; daughter obviously looked confused at her Mum, who said "Keep the pill held between you knees - that is the best form of contraception:jiggy:

 

[michel]

Linwood: http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/stds/std_chlamydia.html
What Is It?
Chlamydia (pronounced: kluh-mid-ee-uh) is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) that is caused by bacteria called Chlamydia trachomatis. Although you may not have heard its name, chlamydia is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases. Because many people don't have any symptoms, though, lots of people can have chlamydia and not know it. The bacteria can move from one person to another through sexual intercourse or oral-genital contact. If a person touches bodily fluids that contain the bacteria and then touches his or her eye, he or she may get a chlamydial eye infection. Chlamydia can also be passed from a mother to her baby while the baby is being delivered. This can cause pneumonia and conjuntivitis, which can become very serious for the baby if it's not treated. You can't catch chlamydia from a towel, doorknob, or toilet seat.

How Does a Girl Know She Has It?
It can be difficult for a girl to know whether she has chlamydia because most girls don't have any symptoms. Chlamydia may cause an unusual vaginal discharge or pain during urination. Some girls with chlamydia also have pain in their lower abdomens, pain during sexual intercourse, or bleeding between menstrual periods. Sometimes a chlamydia infection can cause a mild fever, muscle aches, or headache.

How Does a Guy Know He Has It?
Like a girl, a guy can also have a difficult time telling whether he has chlamydia. Some guys may have a discharge from the tip of the penis (urethra - where urine comes out), or experience itching or burning sensations around the penis. Rarely, the testicles may become swollen. Many times, a guy with chlamydia may have few or no symptoms, so he might not even know he has it.

How Long Until You See the Symptoms?
A person who has contracted chlamydia may see symptoms a week later. In some people, the symptoms take up to 3 weeks to appear, and many people never develop any symptoms.

What Can Happen?
If left untreated in girls, chlamydia can cause an infection of the urethra (where urine comes out) and inflammation (swelling and soreness caused by the infection) of the cervix. It can also lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which can cause infertility.

If left untreated in guys, chlamydia can cause inflammation of the urethra and epididymis (the structure attached to the testicle that helps transport sperm).

Before you reject something out of hand 'because you read it in the papers', take a while to ponder on the possible results of your stand and statement. If there is a chance that you might be wrong, and the above would suggest that you may be so, do you realize that your opinions, and advice, if taken up by others, could well make you part-responsible for some women, girls beconming infertile.
Is that something you want on your conscience?:tsk:

 

[linwood]

Linwood, Linto was explaining the source of the idea; he was not supporting it or saying that it was right. Be more careful before jumping down someone's throat.

I hardly think I was "Jumping down anyonbes throat".
I was explaining why the idea is irelevant today.

Maybe you shouldn`t be so sensitive?

Before you reject something out of hand 'because you read it in the papers', take a while to ponder on the possible results of your stand and statement. If there is a chance that you might be wrong, and the above would suggest that you may be so, do you realize that your opinions, and advice, if taken up by others, could well make you part-responsible for some women, girls beconming infertile.
Is that something you want on your conscience?

Please re-read my post.
No where was I speaking of Chlamydia although I don`t see where it states it is a cause of cancer either.
I was speaking of HPV considering this is the only STV I know of that has the stigma of "cancer causing" attached to it.

Please note the post in question stated..

" Actually thats an overexagerated possibility..

If you`re refering to HPV that is, if not please clarify."

The ASHAs data on STV`s is hardly something "I read in the papers".

Maybe you should actually read my words before jumping down my throat.

I have spent more time "pondering" this subject that the vast majority of people I know.

 

[michel]

Quote:

yes a man sticking his pee pee in many diff women and a woman who sleeps with lots of different pee pees....allows for cancer..interestingly enough its only woman that get cancer..specifically cervical cancer from this.

Actually thats an overexagerated possibility..

If you`re refering to HPV that is, if not please clarify.

I thought that was what I was doing; I apologise if I have been overly 'protective' of some members of the forum; there have been some very harsh words used lately in one or two threads. I suppose I was over reacting. Please accept my appologies.

 

[Doc]

If the necessary precautions are taken, and both partners love each other, and they know for sure they have no transferable diseases I really have no problem with it. We had this abstinence class last year where they tried to make us think that sex was the most unholy and ungodly thing and tried to make us crap ourselves with fear. I just laughed. People think you can only love someone when you are married. So for me, it doesn't really matter.

 

[linwood]

yes a man sticking his pee pee in many diff women and a woman who sleeps with lots of different pee pees....allows for cancer..interestingly enough its only woman that get cancer..specifically cervical cancer from this.

You still haven`t shown the threat for Cancer from an STV.

Yes, it can happen.
The chances of it happening are about the same as me driving over a cliff.

I live in Florida.

I`ve posted direct medical corroboration of this.

 

[anders]

Pre-marital sex should be compulsory.

Such a try-out period would prevent lots of divorces because of sexual incompatibility.

That should be perfectly acceptable from, for example, a Christian point of view, because if the sex thing doesn't work, how could the partners possibly multiply according to the command in the Scriptures?

 

[Stormygale]

The only response I have to this is actually one out of experience. If you run around having sex just for fun, what about that person that you meet someday and fall in love with, and you find that you are their fourth or fifth, eigth or nineth. It makes you feel just like one of the number. I know how hard it is to be "Pure". I am one of them who held off till I was in my mid 20's, but gave in when I met the woman I fell in love with. It hurt when she told me that she had three others. You have to look at that. I call it...REGRETS.

 

[Yerda]

If you run around having sex just for fun, what about that person that you meet someday and fall in love with, and you find that you are their fourth or fifth, eigth or nineth. It makes you feel just like one of the number.

Has not and would not bother me in the slightest. Why would you expect your 'first love' to be in the same situation?

 

[Prima]

Okay, I'm gonna break this down.



PREMARITIAL SEX

AGAINST

- If done irresponsibly, it can lead to disease
- It may hurt your future spouse (emotionally)
- It goes against the Bible
- It goes against what our parents taught us
- It can make you seem 'easy'
- It can make your relationship with your spouse less strong, because sex was meant to emotionally bond a couple together for life (sharing a big, important, mutual experience)
- Practice self-control
- You'll get very, very good at masturbation. Very.

FOR

- Sex is healthy if done responsibly
- Sex is fun!
- There is a low risk of pregnancy or disease if you use protection
- Animals do it, and animals are natural, God-made - hence, not sinful or bad
- You may know that it's the right time for you but you may not be able (financially, legally, etc) to marry
- You may be with the person you intend to marry
- Sex is a gift from God and is intended to be celebrated, not restricted unneccessarily
- We have free will - therefore WE can choose what is right and wrong for us
- the Bible was written hundreds of years ago, in a different culture and place. Everything it says does not necessarily apply to us.



I personally am for premaritial sex if it is done responsibly. You're not doing anything good by sleeping around and not using protection - you could hurt yourself, and sex was not meant to be bad. Otherwise, we wouldn't enjoy it so much Not everything in the Bible applies to me. The Bible tells me not to cut my hair and not to wear cotton/polyester fabrics. Oops. Obviously, Christians do not obsess over these. Biblical rules were written for that culture. I also believe that sex is a gift to celebrate. :jiggy:

 

[Ceridwen018]

It hurt when she told me that she had three others. You have to look at that. I call it...REGRETS.

Personally, I wouldn't ask. It's not something I would care to know, because it's not something that should necessarily affect how you feel for someone.

 

[prash4]

I will wait until marriage

As a Hindu, I can tell you: When we refer to marriage between a man and woman as a spiritual bonding of each other to form an invincible union until death do them part - it means nothing more than just having sex once you get married.

But with all the premarital and extramarital sex happening today, it just throws everything out of picture, doesn't it? Where on earth is the spirituality....

 

[MrMorden]

not so much pre-marital sex as extra marital sex in general and not just for the obvious reason, but for a much deeper, spiritual meaning

 

[linwood]

If you run around having sex just for fun, what about that person that you meet someday and fall in love with, and you find that you are their fourth or fifth, eigth or nineth. It makes you feel just like one of the number.

Thats due to the self defeating attitude of people who equate love with sex.
It`s not your partners fault she had a life before you.
It`s your fault for putting more vaule on sex than it deserves.

I know how hard it is to be "Pure". I am one of them who held off till I was in my mid 20's, but gave in when I met the woman I fell in love with. It hurt when she told me that she had three others. You have to look at that. I call it...REGRETS.

Where is the regret here?
I`m not seeing it.
Are you saying that you regret your partners previous sexuality?
Or that you regret falling in love with someone who has a sexuality?
Or that she now regrets her sexuality?

I would never have marreid my wife is she had been a virgin.
I got engaged at the age of 32.
I had never met a woman I would have committed to before her.
The fact that she had two boys from a previous relationship led me to discover the qualities of strength and committment I would require in a lifelong lover/partner/friend.

If she didn`t have those boys I would never have known of these qualities.

 

[Doc]

I do not really have a problem with it even though I plan on waiting. I think people try to get the idea that we will suddenly become immune to these STDs when we get married which is not the case. I just am not concerned with such arguements though.