probably one of the rare "christians"

[Loosestrife]

I say rare because though I indentify as christian. I believe in God however despite years of involved in religion ..I just can't fully say I like or even love God. I even hate to say it but its true. I feel this way because I feel God has favorites. Favorites he talks to, bless with gift after gift and im not talking material but to be able to hear and feel Gods presence is a blessing......

while others have to pray and pray and plead and they get little close to nothing... and just struggle through life.

It says God doesn't play favorites but idk life suggests otherwise.

I have a love hate relationship with God thats dwindling to nothing at this point because I just don't like the favortism.

Maybe im alone on this but I feel ill never stop feeling this way because this is simply Gods nature and if so. He's more human like than I thought which is disappointing.

I still belive in God but its hard for me to love or trust him as..I feel he cares more about his glory than our personal happiness. Idk... just me though.

Glad I have a place to just vent and express my thoughts.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Christianity isn't really about one's personal happiness, but repenting and getting on good terms with God so as to be transformed by it. No one said it would be easy and the Bible says the opposite.

As for feeling that God has left you in a way, that's something that happens to people at times as the soul journeys toward union with God: Dark Night of the Soul - Wikipedia

All you can do is keep praying and offering your sufferings to God.

 

[ManSinha]

Glad I have a place to just vent and express my thoughts

Welcome to RF

I just can't fully say I like or even love God

You don't have to - from one perspective - having a belief is enough

It says God doesn't play favorites but idk life suggests otherwise.

That conundrum comes up when one's perspective of god is akin to the one described by George Carlin - an interactive entity with super powers also represented as the old man in the sky -

It says God doesn't play favorites but idk life suggests otherwise.

I have a love hate relationship with God thats dwindling to nothing at this point because I just don't like the favortism.

Don't blame you for that - many would

Maybe im alone on this but I feel ill never stop feeling this way because this is simply Gods nature and if so. He's more human like than I thought which is disappointing

See my comment above

I feel he cares more about his glory than our personal happiness. Idk... just me though.

While you are certainly entitled to your opinions - dharmics believe slightly differently

 

[74x12]

I say rare because though I indentify as christian. I believe in God however despite years of involved in religion ..I just can't fully say I like or even love God. I even hate to say it but its true. I feel this way because I feel God has favorites. Favorites he talks to, bless with gift after gift and im not talking material but to be able to hear and feel Gods presence is a blessing......

while others have to pray and pray and plead and they get little close to nothing... and just struggle through life.

It says God doesn't play favorites but idk life suggests otherwise.

I have a love hate relationship with God thats dwindling to nothing at this point because I just don't like the favortism.

Maybe im alone on this but I feel ill never stop feeling this way because this is simply Gods nature and if so. He's more human like than I thought which is disappointing.

I still belive in God but its hard for me to love or trust him as..I feel he cares more about his glory than our personal happiness. Idk... just me though.

Glad I have a place to just vent and express my thoughts.

Well, I feel you. But I think you should understand that you can't even comprehend God's love for you personally. And, you should focus on learning more about that.

Give yourself to the love of God for others around you and you will begin to understand that just as God teaches us to love one another; He also loves us just the same with the same love. The more you give of yourself the more God will give you. Because God is like a river and if you're pooling up all the water for yourself then it's going to stop coming. But if you let it go then He will send more.

Yes God gives some people more "gifts" than others but they are supposed to use those gifts to minister to one another's needs. So ultimately it's for everyone's benefit. And I think you should find yourself in helping other people. This will help you understand the love that God has for you. You don't have to do anything crazy; just help with what you can.

Don't seek your own glory but seek true love for others. You'll see what I mean.

You also should understand that just because you struggle through life doesn't mean God doesn't love you. Look at Paul; God said he's a chosen vessel and God would show him what great things he must suffer for Christ's namesake. So you know Paul struggled through his life but it was because the love of God that was on him. If you suffer as a Christian more than your peers; that means God has probably chosen you for something special.

 

[Loosestrife]

Christianity isn't really about one's personal happiness, but repenting and getting on good terms with God so as to be transformed by it. No one said it would be easy and the Bible says the opposite.

As for feeling that God has left you in a way, that's something that happens to people at times as the soul journeys toward union with God: Dark Night of the Soul - Wikipedia

All you can do is keep praying and offering your sufferings to God.

Yeah.. but the promises of being blessed and all and when that doesn't happen just leaves me a bit bitter when I tried and I don't feel transformed and Im not being used by God at all. I don't feel close to him.
Because of that I don't draw near because I still feel alone either way. whats the point..you know? I still believe in God but desired that connection other christians have..

to trust freely and be used in an amazing way....

yet I feel God glances over me and just doesnt care so... idk.

I don't know how to feel about God/Jesus.. I just feel he can be the best thing for some people (If he chooses you as his favorite) and the greatest disappointment if He doesn't give you the time of day.

 

[Loosestrife]

Welcome to RF


You don't have to - from one perspective - having a belief is enough


That conundrum comes up when one's perspective of god is akin to the one described by George Carlin - an interactive entity with super powers also represented as the old man in the sky -

Don't blame you for that - many would



See my comment above


While you are certainly entitled to your opinions - dharmics believe slightly differently

Thank You for your response. Thank You all for your kind responses.

 

[Loosestrife]

Well, I feel you. But I think you should understand that you can't even comprehend God's love for you personally. And, you should focus on learning more about that.

Give yourself to the love of God for others around you and you will begin to understand that just as God teaches us to love one another; He also loves us just the same with the same love. The more you give of yourself the more God will give you. Because God is like a river and if you're pooling up all the water for yourself then it's going to stop coming. But if you let it go then He will send more.

Yes God gives some people more "gifts" than others but they are supposed to use those gifts to minister to one another's needs. So ultimately it's for everyone's benefit. And I think you should find yourself in helping other people. This will help you understand the love that God has for you. You don't have to do anything crazy; just help with what you can.

Don't seek your own glory but seek true love for others. You'll see what I mean.

You also should understand that just because you struggle through life doesn't mean God doesn't love you. Look at Paul; God said he's a chosen vessel and God would show him what great things he must suffer for Christ's namesake. So you know Paul struggled through his life but it was because the love of God that was on him. If you suffer as a Christian more than your peers; that means God has probably chosen you for something special.

Im not chosen for anything special. Nothing special has happened in my life. Its just been a constant struggle and as for love. I have a lot of it to give but no one to give it to. Its hard to make fiends despite being friendly, I have no significant other and my family is distant... so I just don't have much of a way to show love. Idk I feel being alone is my cross to bear.. I am expecting so idk I guess ill shower my child with love.

It just sucks being isolated.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Im not chosen for anything special. Nothing special has happened in my life. Its just been a constant struggle and as for love. I have a lot of it to give but no one to give it to. Its hard to make fiends despite being friendly, I have no significant other and my family is distant... so I just don't have much of a way to show love. Idk I feel being alone is my cross to bear.. I am expecting so idk I guess ill shower my child with love.

It just sucks being isolated.

Have you considered that you may be suffering from an episode of clinical depression? Maybe you should talk to someone about it, if you haven't. Maybe contemplate the sufferings of Jesus and how he felt alone during the Passion. I've done that and it helped me not feel so alone.

 

[ManSinha]

I have a lot of it to give but no one to give it to.

One of the ways to find a way out of that situation is to find something you like doing and then find someone (or many someones that would appreciate that) for example - reading to senior people in a nursing home; helping out in a soup kitchen if possible

There is a good chance you will feel a sense of accomplishment and worth and the recipients of your efforts will have appreciation for you

 

[74x12]

Im not chosen for anything special. Nothing special has happened in my life. Its just been a constant struggle and as for love. I have a lot of it to give but no one to give it to. Its hard to make fiends despite being friendly, I have no significant other and my family is distant... so I just don't have much of a way to show love. Idk I feel being alone is my cross to bear.. I am expecting so idk I guess ill shower my child with love.

It just sucks being isolated.

Don't be sad. I'm sure God will show you something really soon if you just trust in Him. You know we go through times when we sit in darkness but the scripture says God will be a light to us. And we will rise up even if satan knocks us down sometimes. And you can pray to God for a good friend. God knows the best friend for you. Psalm 68:6 says God sets the solitary in families ...

It sounds like to me you're depressed right now. Socializing is probably a good thing for you to do. Or just doing something useful. At first it's painful and I know because I've been extremely depressed just recently. But if you can make yourself do something then you'll begin to feel better. It's just about thought control. Making yourself not focus on how you feel and instead focus on something else. Look at the depression as a symptom of an illness and that's all it is. It won't bother you as much and it will go away eventually just like a cold goes away or the flu.

Sometimes when we are depressed we have unbelief and because of the way we feel we can't even feel God. But that doesn't mean He is not with us. So wait this out and keep trusting God.

 

[ManSinha]

I'm sure God will show you something really soon if you just trust in Him

mmmmm - that is a hope - and a well intentioned one - but I would be careful with that - it is like saying to a person with recently diagnosed cancer - "everything will be ok"

 

[ManSinha]

It won't bother you as much and it will go away eventually just like a cold goes away or the flu.

Be careful with that kind of advice - sometimes it does - other times depression has to be formally treated

 

[InChrist]

I say rare because though I indentify as christian. I believe in God however despite years of involved in religion ..I just can't fully say I like or even love God. I even hate to say it but its true. I feel this way because I feel God has favorites. Favorites he talks to, bless with gift after gift and im not talking material but to be able to hear and feel Gods presence is a blessing......

while others have to pray and pray and plead and they get little close to nothing... and just struggle through life.

It says God doesn't play favorites but idk life suggests otherwise.

I have a love hate relationship with God thats dwindling to nothing at this point because I just don't like the favortism.

Maybe im alone on this but I feel ill never stop feeling this way because this is simply Gods nature and if so. He's more human like than I thought which is disappointing.

I still belive in God but its hard for me to love or trust him as..I feel he cares more about his glory than our personal happiness. Idk... just me though.

Glad I have a place to just vent and express my thoughts.

I believe God's greatest desire is not our personal, temporal happiness in this fallen, dying world system. He goal is our eternal well-being and He desires for us to live in His love and joy which will never end. I encourage you to look beyond your immediate circumstances and ask God what He is doing in your life for your eternal good. The scriptures state that there is no partiality with God...

For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. Deut. 10:17

Now let the fear of the Lord be on you. Judge carefully, for with the Lord our God there is no injustice or partiality or bribery.” 2 Chron. 19:7

For there is no partiality with God. Romans 2:11

 

[InChrist]

Im not chosen for anything special. Nothing special has happened in my life. Its just been a constant struggle and as for love. I have a lot of it to give but no one to give it to. Its hard to make fiends despite being friendly, I have no significant other and my family is distant... so I just don't have much of a way to show love. Idk I feel being alone is my cross to bear.. I am expecting so idk I guess ill shower my child with love.

It just sucks being isolated.

How or why are you isolated?

 

[PureX]

I say rare because though I indentify as christian. I believe in God however despite years of involved in religion ..I just can't fully say I like or even love God. I even hate to say it but its true. I feel this way because I feel God has favorites. Favorites he talks to, bless with gift after gift and im not talking material but to be able to hear and feel Gods presence is a blessing......

while others have to pray and pray and plead and they get little close to nothing... and just struggle through life.

It says God doesn't play favorites but idk life suggests otherwise.

I have a love hate relationship with God thats dwindling to nothing at this point because I just don't like the favortism.

Maybe im alone on this but I feel ill never stop feeling this way because this is simply Gods nature and if so. He's more human like than I thought which is disappointing.

I still belive in God but its hard for me to love or trust him as..I feel he cares more about his glory than our personal happiness. Idk... just me though.

Glad I have a place to just vent and express my thoughts.

Just because our particular conception of God is not working for us does not mean that 'God doesn't work'. It just means that God, as we have chosen to imaging God to be, does not seem to be working as we hoped God would.

If I am broke, and so pray to win the lotto, the odds are very good that I will be disappointed. Especially if I do not buy a lotto ticket. But if I pray for the strength, perseverance, and insight to go out and find a job, and then to work hard to hold onto it, the odds of my attaining this goal will increase, greatly. Because God, at least in part, is that spirit within us that we can call upon to help us rise to life's challenges. And God is also that spirit within others that cause them to appreciate when we are trying to rise to that challenge, and so are willing to help us if they can.

If we imagine God to be some sort of magic lantern, granting our wishes just for the asking, we're probably going to be very disappointed. But if we imagine that God is that spirit within all of us that wants us all to succeed, and to be happy, and to be a positive influence on everyone and everything around us, then we will find that it's really there, and that it really does help us, just for the asking.

 

[robocop (actually)]

I say rare because though I indentify as christian. I believe in God however despite years of involved in religion ..I just can't fully say I like or even love God. I even hate to say it but its true. I feel this way because I feel God has favorites. Favorites he talks to, bless with gift after gift and im not talking material but to be able to hear and feel Gods presence is a blessing......

while others have to pray and pray and plead and they get little close to nothing... and just struggle through life.

It says God doesn't play favorites but idk life suggests otherwise.

I have a love hate relationship with God thats dwindling to nothing at this point because I just don't like the favortism.

Maybe im alone on this but I feel ill never stop feeling this way because this is simply Gods nature and if so. He's more human like than I thought which is disappointing.

I still belive in God but its hard for me to love or trust him as..I feel he cares more about his glory than our personal happiness. Idk... just me though.

Glad I have a place to just vent and express my thoughts.

I believe God is no respecter of persons and sometimes He wounds the righteous because our portrait in life has dark colors as well as bright.

 

[Loosestrife]

Just because our particular conception of God is not working for us does not mean that 'God doesn't work'. It just means that God, as we have chosen to imaging God to be, does not seem to be working as we hoped God would.

If I am broke, and so pray to win the lotto, the odds are very good that I will be disappointed. Especially if I do not buy a lotto ticket. But if I pray for the strength, perseverance, and insight to go out and find a job, and then to work hard to hold onto it, the odds of my attaining this goal will increase, greatly. Because God, at least in part, is that spirit within us that we can call upon to help us rise to life's challenges. And God is also that spirit within others that cause them to appreciate when we are trying to rise to that challenge, and so are willing to help us if they can.

If we imagine God to be some sort of magic lantern, granting our wishes just for the asking, we're probably going to be very disappointed. But if we imagine that God is that spirit within all of us that wants us all to succeed, and to be happy, and to be a positive influence on everyone and everything around us, then we will find that it's really there, and that it really does help us, just for the asking.

But if he wants us to be happy and suceed why cant he help us? Some suceed without much effort others pray until their knees hurt and He still doeent help.

Idk. I still believe in God..but the type of God He is has definitely changed based on my own personal experiences.

 

[Loosestrife]

Don't be sad. I'm sure God will show you something really soon if you just trust in Him. You know we go through times when we sit in darkness but the scripture says God will be a light to us. And we will rise up even if satan knocks us down sometimes. And you can pray to God for a good friend. God knows the best friend for you. Psalm 68:6 says God sets the solitary in families ...

It sounds like to me you're depressed right now. Socializing is probably a good thing for you to do. Or just doing something useful. At first it's painful and I know because I've been extremely depressed just recently. But if you can make yourself do something then you'll begin to feel better. It's just about thought control. Making yourself not focus on how you feel and instead focus on something else. Look at the depression as a symptom of an illness and that's all it is. It won't bother you as much and it will go away eventually just like a cold goes away or the flu.

Sometimes when we are depressed we have unbelief and because of the way we feel we can't even feel God. But that doesn't mean He is not with us. So wait this out and keep trusting God.

iexperiences.

I tried socializng. I try to be open but every time people dont stay long or they ice me out of their groups. Recently. Someone i trusted turned on me.

 

[Jainarayan]

But if he wants us to be happy and suceed why cant he help us? Some suceed without much effort others pray until their knees hurt and He still doeent help.

That's one of the points where Abrahamics and Dharmics part company. Dharmics (Hindus, Sikhs, Jains; Buddhists are non-theists) don't believe in a God who sits somewhere micromanaging this world and our lives. What happens in this world and in our lives is an effect of our personal, as well as universal karma. We have to make things happen. God is impartial, he neither loves nor hates anyone. I'm not Christian, but the Bible is not without its wisdom:

That you may be children of your
Father who is in heaven. For he makes
his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and
sends rain on the just and the unjust. Matthew 5:45

 

[PureX]

But if he wants us to be happy and suceed why cant he help us? Some suceed without much effort others pray until their knees hurt and He still doeent help.

Looking that the lives of others, and imagining that we know all about them is a fool's game. Everyone has their shortcomings, and setbacks, and difficulties, and disappointments. And without them, few of us would appreciate the times when good fortune comes our way, or why it's so important to share it with others when it does. We all get our turn to hurt, trust me. So be happy for those who are riding high, and be compassionate for those who are suffering. Because you will be them, either way, soon enough.

I still believe in God..but the type of God He is has definitely changed based on my own personal experiences.

Look for God in the spiritual, not the material: in the spirits of others, and in your own. Look there for God's help. Ask for things like wisdom, and courage, and compassion, and insight, and these will come.