The Cosmic Lawnmower
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I found this on Uncyclopedia, you gotta watch this! (Queen fans turn away if squeamish) 
Clean (1973)
The first full length record by Queen, Clean was an early concept album telling the story of a young man's dream of a world obsessively neat and tidy. This motif does not pervade all of the songs however, and so the album was never really considered to be 'concept'.
Our Number Two (1974)
In 1973, on the back of the moderate success of Clean, the band released their second album, Our Number Two. This was prompted by a band decision that another record after the original might sell just as well as the first and lead them to record a third album. With this sound principle in mind, Queen produced a hard sounding slice of rock glory and a number one record featuring such hits as "Seven Seas Cod Liver Oil", "Some Day, One Day, Not Today, Was It Yesterday?" and the timeless sing-along classic "Nevermind".
My First Heart Attack (1974)
The band's second album did indeed sell even more than their first album and rocketed the band into stardom. Queen went on to tour the world 3 times in one year, playing to sold out venues in every country that is recognised as a country and even one small island where the inhabitants had never even heard music before. Despite several torn body stockings, a broken pair of curling tongs and the loss of Roger Taylor's shin bone during a particularly powerful bass drum solo in Munich, things were looking grand for Queen.
But during the final performance of the band's last show on their third world tour of the year 1973, the pressures of such a long jaunt finally caught up with them. The entire band collapsed on stage mid-song. All of them were rushed to the nearest hospital except for the bass player who had a sit down, several glasses of water and felt well enough to take the stage once more and close the gig on his own, employing the singing of the crowd as a convenient cover for the absence of the other members.
It transpired that the entire group had suffered a collective heart attack brought about by the stress of such long touring and the sheer force of their rocking. Surprised at their own power and dwindling stamina, the band headed into the recording studio in January 1974 to record their third album My First Heart Attack. The new songs were heavier than anything they had done before, each track exploring the visions each band member had experienced during their brush with death. Whoever Played Bass had visualized a difficult vomiting at the end of a dark tunnel and felt compelled to write "Misfire". Brian May took a more literal path with his writing, producing the hits "Stone Cold ******* Dead" and "Now My Arm Tingles".
A Day And A Night At The Opera (1975)
Queen didn't care so much about making albums by now, as they were practically bigger than former Beatles member Jesus Christ. Earning an enormous amount from touring and stealing from old ladies on the street, they made plans to record a new record. Someone however was stupid enough to waste it all on an Pacific Island Recording Studio and a 40% share in Costco. Freddie never figured out who wasted the money, leading the new record to become a tax dodging financial recuperation. Failing to see why they should produce any new material considering how well loved their previous albums had been, the band simply re-recorded two old albums in stereo and changed the track titles. It was a huge succéss. By now Mercury had been recognized as one of rock's greatest vocalists, but not yet as one of rock's greatest homosexuals.
The song 'Your Breath Cuts Thru Lead (What You Been Eatin')' has a very interesting back story. It was written about one of Brian May's ex-girlfriends. Their relationship ended when Brian walked in on Roger Taylor giving the woman a very feisty kiss. When asked what the kiss was like, Roger responded with, "Her breath cuts through lead,". These words inspired Freddie Mercury to write a song based around the events.
A Day As a Racist (1976)
Having experienced a massive boost in their income, Queen became drunk on their success and innumerable bottles of Babycham. This lead to the recording of their most unloved album, called A Day As A Racist. Featuring 15 minute guitar solos performed by Brian May whilst sitting on a toilet during his daily bowel movement, and cathedral organs filling in for any real form of percussion, the album was a bold leap forward musically for Queen. The lyrics however created a furore around the group throughout the world.
The power of fame had affected Freddie Mercury most of all and he now turned his lyrical attention to insulting, abusing and slagging off every nation on the face of the Earth. Whilst many of Queen's own fans praised the group for 'finally having the guts to acknowledge the pointless existence of the Swiss', many music critics and music lovers alike balked at the blatant racism and abusive rhymes.
Ska (1978)
With Ska, the band moved into new lyrical and musical territory, recording much of the record on a small island off the coast of Australia as a tax dodge. The use of a "lounge band" style for much of the album gave an interesting feel that was very different to previous records.
Hot Spasm (1982)
In their quest for more singles, Queen produced an album that sounded like everyone else's. Consequently, this is the generally considered the worst Queen album. Some psychologists theorize that this is because That Hypnotic Anti-Social Guy in the Back wrote 2 songs on Hot Spasm and that this was his last ditch effort to destroy the human race. T.H.A.S.G.i.t.B. confirmed this during a torture session with Geraldo Rivera.
The Buerks (1984)
An early 80's return to their rock roots, "The Buerks" was aptly named and became a hateful figure amongst fans in the band's catalog. Queen had foolishly decided to record an album that sounded nothing like an album. Instead, they hoped to achieve the effect of a greatest hits set by writing each song from the perspective of being a single. This lead to the following years being filled with live shows featuring only the songs on this record, as the band felt they had accidentally created the best songs of their career. Fans were known to commit suicide at their concerts rather than endure yet another 12 minute rendition of the album's lead single "Radio? AAAAARRGGGHHHH!!!"
A Kind Of Formaggi (1986)
After Live Aid, Queen had decided to continue on making another album. A Kind of Formaggi, with their lead single, A Sort of Queso, brought some Mediterranean sounds to the world. The first single of this album, One Vice, explains the listener why he shouldn't eat chicken during recording sessions. With an extremely low-pitched intro, varying from -1 to 15 Hz, is only hearable by whales and dogs. This is why Queen became popular among the whales (also the Welsh) during 1986. The live period was mainly focused on evading the U.S.A., Since Brian May got a nasty disease there back in 1974, which forced the doctors to amputate his arm. Later, in 1977, Brian got a bionic arm, a technical masterpiece back in the day. A Kind of Formaggi also features some headbanging aliens.
The Clinical (1989)
With the Clinical, the band tried to move into new territory - and failed dismally. It wasn't the strongest idea for a concept album - 10 songs developed from entries in the Mosby's Medical Encyclopedia - and it was criticised by fans and critics alike for it's tinny sound production (it was recorded in an operating theatre) and it's persistantly graphic medical themes. Another point of conflict was the conjoined four-head of Queen's members, which was achieved by a controversial doctor in India. Monty Python fans were upset over the eerie resemblance to their three-headed guard on Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
In U.N. Owen (1991)
While Mercury was held together by ****** rip-off duct tape, the other band members started to explore stuff from Japan, and found an Yamaha DX7 and a game called Touhou Project. The first single and lead single of the album thanks his name to the game, since it shares its name with the theme song for the Extra Stage Boss level stage. Somehow, Deacon discovered the art of singing, and sung the complete intro of the second single on the album: 'I'm getting slightly fat'. The third single, 'Catlong', is the father of the now well known 'Longcat'. The terms were reversed by 'someone that found the lyrics of Guns 'n' Roses objective, could ****** himself and bought something from the New Age section'.
Made in Taiwan (1995)
In 1995, the remaining members of Queen, who were all alive despite media claims of the premature death of The bass player's fashion sense, assembled at a former army barracks in Kent. Here they were played several cassette tapes of the late Freddie Mercury singing about losing his virginity for the first time (and later the fifth). Astounded by the sheer nonsense they heard, the band decided to polish up these 'demos' by re-recording them and writing new lyrics that weren't about bursting cherries in order to create a final record featuring the original line-up.
Two singles were torn from the final record. The first, 'Studio Chatta', hit number six in the Russian charts and remained confident throughout. The second single, 'You're A Fool Mate' failed to chart and instead became a popular disco soundtrack amongst the over forties. But the lasting impression amongst the band's fanbase soon brought the band to the decision to release the aborted sessions of new music. This 'new' album would be called Made in Taiwan after an incident involving Brian May's deportation from the country of the same name, after he was discovered smuggling an effects box into the country inside his hair.
Clean (1973)
The first full length record by Queen, Clean was an early concept album telling the story of a young man's dream of a world obsessively neat and tidy. This motif does not pervade all of the songs however, and so the album was never really considered to be 'concept'.
Our Number Two (1974)
In 1973, on the back of the moderate success of Clean, the band released their second album, Our Number Two. This was prompted by a band decision that another record after the original might sell just as well as the first and lead them to record a third album. With this sound principle in mind, Queen produced a hard sounding slice of rock glory and a number one record featuring such hits as "Seven Seas Cod Liver Oil", "Some Day, One Day, Not Today, Was It Yesterday?" and the timeless sing-along classic "Nevermind".
My First Heart Attack (1974)
The band's second album did indeed sell even more than their first album and rocketed the band into stardom. Queen went on to tour the world 3 times in one year, playing to sold out venues in every country that is recognised as a country and even one small island where the inhabitants had never even heard music before. Despite several torn body stockings, a broken pair of curling tongs and the loss of Roger Taylor's shin bone during a particularly powerful bass drum solo in Munich, things were looking grand for Queen.
But during the final performance of the band's last show on their third world tour of the year 1973, the pressures of such a long jaunt finally caught up with them. The entire band collapsed on stage mid-song. All of them were rushed to the nearest hospital except for the bass player who had a sit down, several glasses of water and felt well enough to take the stage once more and close the gig on his own, employing the singing of the crowd as a convenient cover for the absence of the other members.
It transpired that the entire group had suffered a collective heart attack brought about by the stress of such long touring and the sheer force of their rocking. Surprised at their own power and dwindling stamina, the band headed into the recording studio in January 1974 to record their third album My First Heart Attack. The new songs were heavier than anything they had done before, each track exploring the visions each band member had experienced during their brush with death. Whoever Played Bass had visualized a difficult vomiting at the end of a dark tunnel and felt compelled to write "Misfire". Brian May took a more literal path with his writing, producing the hits "Stone Cold ******* Dead" and "Now My Arm Tingles".
A Day And A Night At The Opera (1975)
Queen didn't care so much about making albums by now, as they were practically bigger than former Beatles member Jesus Christ. Earning an enormous amount from touring and stealing from old ladies on the street, they made plans to record a new record. Someone however was stupid enough to waste it all on an Pacific Island Recording Studio and a 40% share in Costco. Freddie never figured out who wasted the money, leading the new record to become a tax dodging financial recuperation. Failing to see why they should produce any new material considering how well loved their previous albums had been, the band simply re-recorded two old albums in stereo and changed the track titles. It was a huge succéss. By now Mercury had been recognized as one of rock's greatest vocalists, but not yet as one of rock's greatest homosexuals.
The song 'Your Breath Cuts Thru Lead (What You Been Eatin')' has a very interesting back story. It was written about one of Brian May's ex-girlfriends. Their relationship ended when Brian walked in on Roger Taylor giving the woman a very feisty kiss. When asked what the kiss was like, Roger responded with, "Her breath cuts through lead,". These words inspired Freddie Mercury to write a song based around the events.
A Day As a Racist (1976)
Having experienced a massive boost in their income, Queen became drunk on their success and innumerable bottles of Babycham. This lead to the recording of their most unloved album, called A Day As A Racist. Featuring 15 minute guitar solos performed by Brian May whilst sitting on a toilet during his daily bowel movement, and cathedral organs filling in for any real form of percussion, the album was a bold leap forward musically for Queen. The lyrics however created a furore around the group throughout the world.
The power of fame had affected Freddie Mercury most of all and he now turned his lyrical attention to insulting, abusing and slagging off every nation on the face of the Earth. Whilst many of Queen's own fans praised the group for 'finally having the guts to acknowledge the pointless existence of the Swiss', many music critics and music lovers alike balked at the blatant racism and abusive rhymes.
Ska (1978)
With Ska, the band moved into new lyrical and musical territory, recording much of the record on a small island off the coast of Australia as a tax dodge. The use of a "lounge band" style for much of the album gave an interesting feel that was very different to previous records.
Hot Spasm (1982)
In their quest for more singles, Queen produced an album that sounded like everyone else's. Consequently, this is the generally considered the worst Queen album. Some psychologists theorize that this is because That Hypnotic Anti-Social Guy in the Back wrote 2 songs on Hot Spasm and that this was his last ditch effort to destroy the human race. T.H.A.S.G.i.t.B. confirmed this during a torture session with Geraldo Rivera.
The Buerks (1984)
An early 80's return to their rock roots, "The Buerks" was aptly named and became a hateful figure amongst fans in the band's catalog. Queen had foolishly decided to record an album that sounded nothing like an album. Instead, they hoped to achieve the effect of a greatest hits set by writing each song from the perspective of being a single. This lead to the following years being filled with live shows featuring only the songs on this record, as the band felt they had accidentally created the best songs of their career. Fans were known to commit suicide at their concerts rather than endure yet another 12 minute rendition of the album's lead single "Radio? AAAAARRGGGHHHH!!!"
A Kind Of Formaggi (1986)
After Live Aid, Queen had decided to continue on making another album. A Kind of Formaggi, with their lead single, A Sort of Queso, brought some Mediterranean sounds to the world. The first single of this album, One Vice, explains the listener why he shouldn't eat chicken during recording sessions. With an extremely low-pitched intro, varying from -1 to 15 Hz, is only hearable by whales and dogs. This is why Queen became popular among the whales (also the Welsh) during 1986. The live period was mainly focused on evading the U.S.A., Since Brian May got a nasty disease there back in 1974, which forced the doctors to amputate his arm. Later, in 1977, Brian got a bionic arm, a technical masterpiece back in the day. A Kind of Formaggi also features some headbanging aliens.
The Clinical (1989)
With the Clinical, the band tried to move into new territory - and failed dismally. It wasn't the strongest idea for a concept album - 10 songs developed from entries in the Mosby's Medical Encyclopedia - and it was criticised by fans and critics alike for it's tinny sound production (it was recorded in an operating theatre) and it's persistantly graphic medical themes. Another point of conflict was the conjoined four-head of Queen's members, which was achieved by a controversial doctor in India. Monty Python fans were upset over the eerie resemblance to their three-headed guard on Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
In U.N. Owen (1991)
While Mercury was held together by ****** rip-off duct tape, the other band members started to explore stuff from Japan, and found an Yamaha DX7 and a game called Touhou Project. The first single and lead single of the album thanks his name to the game, since it shares its name with the theme song for the Extra Stage Boss level stage. Somehow, Deacon discovered the art of singing, and sung the complete intro of the second single on the album: 'I'm getting slightly fat'. The third single, 'Catlong', is the father of the now well known 'Longcat'. The terms were reversed by 'someone that found the lyrics of Guns 'n' Roses objective, could ****** himself and bought something from the New Age section'.
Made in Taiwan (1995)
In 1995, the remaining members of Queen, who were all alive despite media claims of the premature death of The bass player's fashion sense, assembled at a former army barracks in Kent. Here they were played several cassette tapes of the late Freddie Mercury singing about losing his virginity for the first time (and later the fifth). Astounded by the sheer nonsense they heard, the band decided to polish up these 'demos' by re-recording them and writing new lyrics that weren't about bursting cherries in order to create a final record featuring the original line-up.
Two singles were torn from the final record. The first, 'Studio Chatta', hit number six in the Russian charts and remained confident throughout. The second single, 'You're A Fool Mate' failed to chart and instead became a popular disco soundtrack amongst the over forties. But the lasting impression amongst the band's fanbase soon brought the band to the decision to release the aborted sessions of new music. This 'new' album would be called Made in Taiwan after an incident involving Brian May's deportation from the country of the same name, after he was discovered smuggling an effects box into the country inside his hair.
