Thanks for the answer!
You provided great arguments for the "we must" (talk about one's moral responsibility) and I totally agree with you. I'm still struggling to see why "we can"
. It could be the case that "moral responsibility" gains the same status you mentioned about free will: necessary in order to keep things in order but a rather nonsensical concept.
Your later post further clarified where you are coming from, so allow me to clarify what I think on this matter.
Moral responsibility, I feel, does indeed exist. But it is not always relevant. We are far more tied to circunstances than we would like to believe.
In your example, the children probably have some moral responsibility of their own, albeit limited by their personal experience. But they also have a very real need to remain accepted and supported by their social environment. Adults will only put up so much with questioning of the validity of their values and directives.
So, in short: we can... if our social environment is supportive enough of our choices and preferences.
I wrote a text about that a while ago: since I do not believe that there is such a thing as free will, what
do I believe to exist in its place?
The conclusion I arrived at was that there is an acceptance space, which is not of our own (direct) personal making, but rather granted to us, gifted by those who choose to accept and acknowledge us and our choices. That is my explanation for why some people insist that there is free will while the facts I am aware of pretty much deny that. They mistake the result with a cause, and fail to realize that they are extrapolating from a privileged situation.
TLDR: Moral responsibility exists ... if we are loved and accepted well enough for it to arise.
Wouldn't moral responsibility require a prior form of control from one's part? If being in Hitler's shoes would not have allowed anyone to act differently, wouldn't that mean society is blaming one just for being unique?
If my model is accurate in that regard, blaming Hitler is blaming his own society for listening so much and so uncritically to his message.
That runs somewhat against the grain of our general anthropological tendencies, interestingly enough. Humanity has a strong affinity for finding heroes and villains in situations, and conveniently projecting both merits and blames towards those figures.
I guess it all comes from the scary weight of being or feeling fully responsible for what we do. It does not help that so often we need other people's cooperation to realize much of anything, nor that to achieve that cooperation it is often helpful or even necessary to present some form and degree of misleading.
IMO I am not entitled to morally judge someone, as long as there is no reason to believe I would have acted differently than the one I am to judge, if I was in his shoes. It simply couldn't have happened otherwise. Judging someone without being in his shoes doesn't seem fair to me and leaves the door open for the idea that one could decide what is morally better for another.
No free will = no individual moral responsibility (?)
If only we were so lucky as to have such a choice!
No, I fear that is not possible. We can and must make moral judgements and have moral responsibility. It just turns out that they will often be very wrong, out of lack of information or even of empathy.
We should be aware of our own huge degree of falibility in our moral judgements and adjust our expectations of fairness (from ourselves or from others) accordingly. But we do not really have the choice to refrain from either judgements or personal responsibility. Existence does not give us such a choice.
Why would that matter at all? Even a slight deviation would mean you can no longer put yourself in one's shoes. It could be the case that seeing a butterfly on a particular field in a particular day would change the way one sees his entire life, but that still is no result of free will and can not be blamable. ...But most importantly, that would still not entitle one to make moral judgments regarding one that did not see the same butterfly.
It matters little if one's goal is to assign blame (or merit), because it will all be of such dubious significance.
It matters quite a lot more if our goal is instead to develop and maintain a functional, healthy moral structure to our communities, though.
It just won't be much good for pointing out "heroes" and "villains", because the premise that they exist is so very suspect.