Questions for Church-going Christians

[Katzpur]

Katzpur, thank you. I wasn't even aware of that. I looked into it a bit. I think he will be confused about the difference between a temporal hell and a permanent one, but it does sound a lot less threatening. Thank you for sharing.

Seriously, if you are going to attempt to give him the experience of Christian worship, it might make sense for you to pick several different churches, and attend each of them several times (perhaps six weeks each -- maybe for a total of a year). Since you are an unbeliever yourself and consequently have no personal bias for or against any specific denomination, he would end up with a more balanced perspective of what Christianity is all about. Yes, the differences in doctrine might be confusing to him, but they're a part of the way things are. Otherwise, I can pretty much guarantee that it's going to be a crap shoot. If you pick just one, it may be one that he likes immediately and feels comfortable at or it may be one that leaves a sour taste in his mouth that he'll never forget. If you were to want to get the full spectrum of what Christian worship and doctrine is like, you might want to consider going to one from each of these groups I'm listing. (Some people may disagree with the ones I put together, and I have no problem with that. I'd be open to suggestions on how I might have done better.)

1. Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox
2. Episcopal (maybe should have been in the Catholic/Orthodox group; I'm not sure)
3. Lutheran, Methodist or Presbyterian
4. Baptist (maybe should have been in the Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian group)
5. Latter-day Saints (Official Website in case you want to read up on what to expect)
6. Pentacostal
7. Jehovah's Witnesses
8. Quaker or Unitarian
9. Seventh-day Adventists
10. Non-denominational

As I already mentioned, you are to be commended for your willingness to take your son to church, when you are not a believer. If he ends up being an atheist, too, at least he will have been able to say that he was exposed to Christianity and it didn't work for him. And he will always look up to you for being so open-minded and supportive.

 

[fahrenheit]

I'm not sure if you've got your sufficient response, but I wanted to point out that christians are no different from the people you meet every day. And when I say they are no different I mean that you will always find tolerant and intolerant people, and this includes church. I don't know any christians that would be against non christians trying to understand their faith (or in your case your son trying to understand), and if you do find a church that is against you attending because you aren't a christian then you should not go because they would not be the best group to learn from.

That said you may get more interest than you want, invitations to events and just people wanting to get to know you. But also remember they are there to preach a message however, and you probably won't hear anyone say "well we might be right but so could the other religions", and most will seem very biased, but thats something you have to take when you try to understand people's beliefs.

 

[Bowzer79]

I'm not sure if you've got your sufficient response, but I wanted to point out that christians are no different from the people you meet every day. And when I say they are no different I mean that you will always find tolerant and intolerant people, and this includes church. I don't know any christians that would be against non christians trying to understand their faith (or in your case your son trying to understand), and if you do find a church that is against you attending because you aren't a christian then you should not go because they would not be the best group to learn from.

That said you may get more interest than you want, invitations to events and just people wanting to get to know you. But also remember they are there to preach a message however, and you probably won't hear anyone say "well we might be right but so could the other religions", and most will seem very biased, but thats something you have to take when you try to understand people's beliefs.

Thanks Farenheit. I appreciate the comment. I know religious people generally are no different than non-religious people in most ways. I keep my atheism to myself unless asked or if there is a discussion that would be inappropriate without bringing it up. But when it does come up there is a change in atmosphere that is very unsettling. Maybe neither of us really know what to say or think but it comes across as though there is some type of disgust for me. I have noticed that you can be the nicest and most respectful guy in the world and still have people think you are the scum of the earth. We have found a few places to try first and hoping it will be a good experience. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Bowzer79]

Seriously, if you are going to attempt to give him the experience of Christian worship, it might make sense for you to pick several different churches, and attend each of them several times (perhaps six weeks each -- maybe for a total of a year). Since you are an unbeliever yourself and consequently have no personal bias for or against any specific denomination, he would end up with a more balanced perspective of what Christianity is all about. Yes, the differences in doctrine might be confusing to him, but they're a part of the way things are. Otherwise, I can pretty much guarantee that it's going to be a crap shoot. If you pick just one, it may be one that he likes immediately and feels comfortable at or it may be one that leaves a sour taste in his mouth that he'll never forget. If you were to want to get the full spectrum of what Christian worship and doctrine is like, you might want to consider going to one from each of these groups I'm listing. (Some people may disagree with the ones I put together, and I have no problem with that. I'd be open to suggestions on how I might have done better.)

1. Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox
2. Episcopal (maybe should have been in the Catholic/Orthodox group; I'm not sure)
3. Lutheran, Methodist or Presbyterian
4. Baptist (maybe should have been in the Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian group)
5. Latter-day Saints (Official Website in case you want to read up on what to expect)
6. Pentacostal
7. Jehovah's Witnesses
8. Quaker or Unitarian
9. Seventh-day Adventists
10. Non-denominational

As I already mentioned, you are to be commended for your willingness to take your son to church, when you are not a believer. If he ends up being an atheist, too, at least he will have been able to say that he was exposed to Christianity and it didn't work for him. And he will always look up to you for being so open-minded and supportive.

Wow katzpur! Thanks for the list. That is very helpful and thank you for the kind words.

 

[Muffled]

Hello all. I am new here and hope that I am posting this in the best possible place. I will give a little background first, before asking my questions.

My six year old son has recently started taking an interest in religious topics, to the point that it is no longer able to be ignored. Many of his little buddies are Christian and they have got him asking me some odd questions and making off-the-wall comments about prayer, Jesus, and God. I am an atheist, so I feel that I can't answer these questions without a natural bias. He has been asking me to take him to church, and because I worry that it will be a negative experience for us, I keep saying "We will see." I am pretty laid back about religion and want to teach my son tolerance and respect for others and their beliefs. I want to let him choose for himself if this is something he wants in his life. I believe that it is only fair not to force my personal thoughts onto him, unless it should cause him harm. This has posed lots of questions for me.

1.) Are there any churches that allow non-believers to attend and participate in their functions?
2.) If so, how will the congregants feel about me being there with my son?
3.) Will we be treated differently if everyone knows about our situation?
4.) Is a larger or smaller church better for this situation?
5.) How do you choose a doctrine when none of them sound right?
6.) Should we meet with the pastor to be approved to attend, upfront? Be open about or situation? Keep it to ourselves?

I want to attend with him to make sure that he is not being taught any type of hate, or to protest. I want to make sure that he is safe, but has an avenue to get answers to questions that I don't feel right answering for him. I would love to get some opinions of church-going Christians, as to how they would feel about us in their churches and any feedback is much appreciated.

Thanks for your assistance.

Not all children take an interest in religion. In fact it is probably a minority that do. For that reason I would encourage you to allow him to explore what he is interested in. As one of the other posters said. He will accept what he will and reject what is not in his will. Not only that but his views will probably change as he matures.

1. Traditionally most churches welcome those who wish to attend church and make allowances for those who do not hold the same beliefs but many churches will make an effort to save you. (If they don't they aren't worth attending because it means they don't care about you)

2. You actually may get a break because you are there for your son. It would be considered responsible parenting.

3. That depends a lot on the individual church and its members (sometimes you might meet the wrong one starting out and get the wrong impression).

4. I think with a large church you could remain anonymous and not have to place your faith on the line. Also churches where congregants tend not to talk with one another would help with anonymity. (Again I think that a caring church is preferable to one that provides anonymity but that is for you to decide)

5. I don't think this is an issue for you. As an atheist you don't care and your son will let you know if he disapproves of something. I tend to think he would be better off in an American Baptist church (SBC is too judgemental) where the Bible is taught withinout too much reference to doctrine. I have had God send someone to whom I was ministering, to such a church. (If you ask nicely I will ask God what is best for your son or what is best for your son and you)

6. I would feel things out. I don't think you should go looking for trouble. Sometimes flashing the "atheist" thing in a pastor's face wuold be like flashing a red cape in front of a bull, lol. If there is any question about your motives the pastor will probably want to discuss things with you. I attended a black SBC church in Montgomery, AL and the pastor called me right in to his office to see why I was there. That is quite understandable considering how much they have suffered over the years.