Randomlosophy

[alowyn]

I didn't think this quite fitted in the philosophy sections, so i thought i should post it here.

Welcome to the randomlosophy thread.
Kindly leave your sanity at the door.
Here you may post virtually anything, questions or bits of philosophy that are completely and utterly random and make no sense.

for example:

At the end of it all, there's only one thing that really matters: what's for lunch.

Grass is evil and is trying to take over the world.

Floors are such doormats - they just let everyone walk over them!


Has anyone else ever wondered what would happen if the world was a giant cube, and not round?

would it be offensive to call someone a cheesecake?

 

[Crystal Red]

Before this thread kicks off, I want everyone to bear in mind that King Kong died for your sins.

 

[michel]

Never sit on the fence, you might get to belong to a splinter party..........

Money is not the root of all evil; evil is the root of all money

What is worse than a church mouse ? - a bat in the belfry ?

 

[Quoth The Raven]

The most important thing I learned at university:For every possum without a head, there is a head without a possum.

 

[Sunstone]

Never put your shoes on in the bathtub while bathing.

 

[Ori]

Before this thread kicks off, I want everyone to bear in mind that King Kong died for your sins.

I thought that was Godzilla.

 

[Sunstone]

Avoid all unnecessary licking of cans and other metal containers.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

Unless, of course they are filled with jelly.

Of course, my perinnial favorite (a variation on a Jack Handy line) must be included;

If you have a cross, try to make sure it's made of kryptonite, because then you can keep away vampires and Superman.

Mmmm... Words to live by.

 

[Sunstone]

Eschew sudden bursts of knot making, for they maketh not a kind demeanor, nor do they swiftly lead to wisdom; neither should you coarsen your headscarf, nor make a button of your bunion.

 

[Mike182]

the best argument ever was written by G.E. Moore:

you either agree with my list, or, you haven't thought about it properly

 

[Mike182]

and what do we do with witches?

burn them!

and what else do we burn?

more witches! ............... erm, wood?

yes!, so why do witches burn?

because ....... their made out of ... wood

yes, so how can we prove that she is made out of wood?

build a bridge out of her!

ahhhh, but can we not also build a bridge out of stone

oh yer,

does wood sink in water?

no, it floats .... THROW HER INTO THE LAKE

what also floats in water?

bread? apples? very small rocks? churches? lead? ........ A DUCK

exactly, so logically?

if she weighs the same as a duck ....... she's made out of wood ....

and therefor

SHE'S A WITCH!!!!!

 

[Crystal Red]

Everyone who is right agrees with me.

 

[alowyn]

You can take away my life...




You can take away my freedom...





BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE AWAY MY SANDWICH!

 

[michel]

Why aren't greengrocers green ?

 

[Feathers in Hair]

And it turned out to be true! (I wonder if I then weigh the same as a duck...)

 

[Crystal Red]

If life throws you lemons...shut up & eat your damn lemons.

I read it on a wall,
It went straight to my head,
It said, 'Dance to the tension
Of a world on edge'

Frubals to whomever name the song & artist of that verse first.

 

[alowyn]

Don't walk in front of me, for i may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, for i may not lead.

Don't walk beside me either - just get away from me!

 

[Malus 12:9]

"Do not start threads like these; I cannot resist the temptation"

 

[michel]

The blacksmith's horse and the cobbler's wife are always the last to have shoes.

Firelight will not let you read fine stories but its warm and you wont see the dust on the floor.
Patience is a plaster for all sores

 

[Malus 12:9]

PS: Crystal Red, is it Jack Johnson