Real bad day

[Kangaroo Feathers]

*sigh* so bad stuff happened. Intellectually, I know it's not the end of the world, but it sure as **** feels like it. I'm just so tired of the struggle, I wish I was dead.

Sorry. Just crying out to an indifferent universe.

 

[Ellen Brown]

*sigh* so bad stuff happened. Intellectually, I know it's not the end of the world, but it sure as **** feels like it. I'm just so tired of the struggle, I wish I was dead.

Sorry. Just crying out to an indifferent universe.

Is there encouragement I can offer? PM me if you like. I doubt that I can solve your problems. Please don't drink? Have a good Pray and sleep on it. Perhaps things will seem better tomorrow?

I just decided today that I have to sell my car because I can not afford it. It appears as if the dance is about over, and it was fun.

 

[Deeje]

*sigh* so bad stuff happened. Intellectually, I know it's not the end of the world, but it sure as **** feels like it. I'm just so tired of the struggle, I wish I was dead.

Sorry. Just crying out to an indifferent universe.

Need an Aussie hug mate? Here if you need an ear or a shoulder....

 

[Earthling]

*sigh* so bad stuff happened. Intellectually, I know it's not the end of the world, but it sure as **** feels like it. I'm just so tired of the struggle, I wish I was dead.

Sorry. Just crying out to an indifferent universe.

I'm 52 years old. I had a massive heart attack when I was 41 and had to have a quadruple bypass and bi-ventricular ICD implant, which is a pace maker that paces both the upper and lower parts of the heart, as well as a defibrillator. A couple years ago my cardiologist prescribed a medication for my edema, my legs have been swollen to typically 2 or 3 times their normal size. The medication nearly destroyed my kidneys reducing their function to 40 - 20 percent. Kidney disease. For the last 4 or 5 years I've had to sleep in a recliner chair due to my sleep apnea, having gained a considerable amount of weight after my heart attack and the worsening of an hereditary deterioration of the spine. In the last 2 or 3 years it's gotten to the point where I can't walk or stand for more than 5 minutes without a walker.

For the last 3 weeks I haven't slept for more than an hour or two a night. I would itch all over. I thought it might be pruritus, a condition common to people with end stage kidney disease which can be especially troublesome at night, but then I found a bug on my pillow. I have a massive bedbug infestation. I had to burn my recliner and sleep at my computer desk sitting up. I also had to bag every item of cloth in my house. Curtains, clothes, blankets, etc. and have the place fumigated. $800. A new recliner, $700. During this my edema was severe, my legs I could hardly bend. Sores from scratching bedbug bites got infected in an area as big as my fist on one leg. My pacemaker clinic called and informed me that I have a bad lead, which makes my pacemaker want to shock me unnecessarily. They had to switch it off until they can perform a fairly risky procedure in which they have to burn the broken wire from my device into my heart in order to replace it. But now I can't have the surgery because of the infection in my leg, but am I complaining? You bet your *** I am, I'm tired of this **** almost to the point of preferring death.

What are you gonna' do, huh? Just go on the best you can. The sore on my leg is starting to heal, my new recliner is very comfortable, the bugs are history . . . everything is coming up roses . . .

 

[Dawnofhope]

*sigh* so bad stuff happened. Intellectually, I know it's not the end of the world, but it sure as **** feels like it. I'm just so tired of the struggle, I wish I was dead.

Sorry. Just crying out to an indifferent universe.

It’s a cold world out here in cyberspace. Dunno if you’re an Aussie mate but I’m a kiwi. It’s all good cause we’ve all been there and know what a bad day looks like. Take care.

 

[osgart]

I'm 52 years old. I had a massive heart attack when I was 41 and had to have a quadruple bypass and bi-ventricular ICD implant, which is a pace maker that paces both the upper and lower parts of the heart, as well as a defibrillator. A couple years ago my cardiologist prescribed a medication for my edema, my legs have been swollen to typically 2 or 3 times their normal size. The medication nearly destroyed my kidneys reducing their function to 40 - 20 percent. Kidney disease. For the last 4 or 5 years I've had to sleep in a recliner chair due to my sleep apnea, having gained a considerable amount of weight after my heart attack and the worsening of an hereditary deterioration of the spine. In the last 2 or 3 years it's gotten to the point where I can't walk or stand for more than 5 minutes without a walker.

For the last 3 weeks I haven't slept for more than an hour or two a night. I would itch all over. I thought it might be pruritus, a condition common to people with end stage kidney disease which can be especially troublesome at night, but then I found a bug on my pillow. I have a massive bedbug infestation. I had to burn my recliner and sleep at my computer desk sitting up. I also had to bag every item of cloth in my house. Curtains, clothes, blankets, etc. and have the place fumigated. $800. A new recliner, $700. During this my edema was severe, my legs I could hardly bend. Sores from scratching bedbug bites got infected in an area as big as my fist on one leg. My pacemaker clinic called and informed me that I have a bad lead, which makes my pacemaker want to shock me unnecessarily. They had to switch it off until they can perform a fairly risky procedure in which they have to burn the broken wire from my device into my heart in order to replace it. But now I can't have the surgery because of the infection in my leg, but am I complaining? You bet your *** I am, I'm tired of this **** almost to the point of preferring death.

What are you gonna' do, huh? Just go on the best you can. The sore on my leg is starting to heal, my new recliner is very comfortable, the bugs are history . . . everything is coming up roses . . .

Why dont you get a cpap machine?

I have severe sleep apnea and it works for me.

Im getting sleep i would otherwise not get.

 

[Kangaroo Feathers]

Is there encouragement I can offer? PM me if you like. I doubt that I can solve your problems. Please don't drink? Have a good Pray and sleep on it. Perhaps things will seem better tomorrow?

I just decided today that I have to sell my car because I can not afford it. It appears as if the dance is about over, and it was fun.

Thanks, and back atcha as required.

edit: I never actually twigged you were Australian too. Hi

 

[Kangaroo Feathers]

It’s a cold world out here in cyberspace. Dunno if you’re an Aussie mate but I’m a kiwi. It’s all good cause we’ve all been there and know what a bad day looks like. Take care.

Thanks. I'm Australian, so I say lot's of stuff about New Zealanders, but it's all in fun.

 

[Kangaroo Feathers]

I'm 52 years old. I had a massive heart attack when I was 41 and had to have a quadruple bypass and bi-ventricular ICD implant, which is a pace maker that paces both the upper and lower parts of the heart, as well as a defibrillator. A couple years ago my cardiologist prescribed a medication for my edema, my legs have been swollen to typically 2 or 3 times their normal size. The medication nearly destroyed my kidneys reducing their function to 40 - 20 percent. Kidney disease. For the last 4 or 5 years I've had to sleep in a recliner chair due to my sleep apnea, having gained a considerable amount of weight after my heart attack and the worsening of an hereditary deterioration of the spine. In the last 2 or 3 years it's gotten to the point where I can't walk or stand for more than 5 minutes without a walker.

For the last 3 weeks I haven't slept for more than an hour or two a night. I would itch all over. I thought it might be pruritus, a condition common to people with end stage kidney disease which can be especially troublesome at night, but then I found a bug on my pillow. I have a massive bedbug infestation. I had to burn my recliner and sleep at my computer desk sitting up. I also had to bag every item of cloth in my house. Curtains, clothes, blankets, etc. and have the place fumigated. $800. A new recliner, $700. During this my edema was severe, my legs I could hardly bend. Sores from scratching bedbug bites got infected in an area as big as my fist on one leg. My pacemaker clinic called and informed me that I have a bad lead, which makes my pacemaker want to shock me unnecessarily. They had to switch it off until they can perform a fairly risky procedure in which they have to burn the broken wire from my device into my heart in order to replace it. But now I can't have the surgery because of the infection in my leg, but am I complaining? You bet your *** I am, I'm tired of this **** almost to the point of preferring death.

What are you gonna' do, huh? Just go on the best you can. The sore on my leg is starting to heal, my new recliner is very comfortable, the bugs are history . . . everything is coming up roses . . .

I had a major stroke back in '11 (major, as in, I literally died briefly) when I was 33. I'm like, 98% recovered. I really couldn't hope for a fuller recovery. However part of that 2% has really bitten me in the **** today. My point is I appreciate chronic health stuff. *sigh* I'll be OK, if not for myself, for my wife and daughter. Still pretty down.

I'm glad you're doing better. The advice about the CPAP machine is worth following up. My wife got one some years back and doesn't know how she managed without it.

 

[Earthling]

Why dont you get a cpap machine?

I have severe sleep apnea and it works for me.

Im getting sleep i would otherwise not get.

I've thought about that. I attribute most of my sleep loss to kidney disease, and the fact that I'm on diuretics and so have to get up at least every two hours to go to the bathroom. The extreme sleep loss most recently was due to the itching.

Is the cpap machine difficult to get used to? I wouldn't think I could sleep at all with that thing on.

 

[Earthling]

I had a major stroke back in '11 (major, as in, I literally died briefly)
when I was 33. I'm like, 98% recovered. I really couldn't hope for a fuller recovery. However part of that 2% has really bitten me in the **** today. My point is I appreciate chronic health stuff. *sigh* I'll be OK, if not for myself, for my wife and daughter. Still pretty down.

I'm glad you're doing better.

And I hope you get to feeling better as well.

 

[Dawnofhope]

Thanks. I'm Australian, so I say lot's of stuff about New Zealanders, but it's all in fun.

I better not mention the Bledisloe cup then....
Too late!

One of our prime ministers infamously said that if a Mew Zealander travels across the ditch to Australia the IQ is raised in both countries.

 

[Buddha Dharma]

*sigh* so bad stuff happened. Intellectually, I know it's not the end of the world, but it sure as **** feels like it. I'm just so tired of the struggle, I wish I was dead.

Sorry. Just crying out to an indifferent universe.

I am sorry you're having a hard time

I know there probably isn't much I can say in the way of ideas that would speak to the suffering you're feeling. I am sorry. I don't want to pretend I know more about your situation than I do, so I'll stop there. Just know that you are loved by me, for the sake of the worth I see in everything. There are people that care.

 

[Kangaroo Feathers]

I'm 52 years old. I had a massive heart attack when I was 41 and had to have a quadruple bypass and bi-ventricular ICD implant, which is a pace maker that paces both the upper and lower parts of the heart, as well as a defibrillator. A couple years ago my cardiologist prescribed a medication for my edema, my legs have been swollen to typically 2 or 3 times their normal size. The medication nearly destroyed my kidneys reducing their function to 40 - 20 percent. Kidney disease. For the last 4 or 5 years I've had to sleep in a recliner chair due to my sleep apnea, having gained a considerable amount of weight after my heart attack and the worsening of an hereditary deterioration of the spine. In the last 2 or 3 years it's gotten to the point where I can't walk or stand for more than 5 minutes without a walker.

For the last 3 weeks I haven't slept for more than an hour or two a night. I would itch all over. I thought it might be pruritus, a condition common to people with end stage kidney disease which can be especially troublesome at night, but then I found a bug on my pillow. I have a massive bedbug infestation. I had to burn my recliner and sleep at my computer desk sitting up. I also had to bag every item of cloth in my house. Curtains, clothes, blankets, etc. and have the place fumigated. $800. A new recliner, $700. During this my edema was severe, my legs I could hardly bend. Sores from scratching bedbug bites got infected in an area as big as my fist on one leg. My pacemaker clinic called and informed me that I have a bad lead, which makes my pacemaker want to shock me unnecessarily. They had to switch it off until they can perform a fairly risky procedure in which they have to burn the broken wire from my device into my heart in order to replace it. But now I can't have the surgery because of the infection in my leg, but am I complaining? You bet your *** I am, I'm tired of this **** almost to the point of preferring death.

What are you gonna' do, huh? Just go on the best you can. The sore on my leg is starting to heal, my new recliner is very comfortable, the bugs are history . . . everything is coming up roses . . .

Just in case you missed my edit: The advice about the CPAP machine is worth following up. My wife got one some years back and doesn't know how she managed without it.

 

[Kangaroo Feathers]

I better not mention the Bledisloe cup then....
Too late!

One of our prime ministers infamously said that if a Mew Zealander travels across the ditch to Australia the IQ is raised in both countries.

Yeah well, if New Zealand is such a real country, how come they have the wrong number of stars on their flag?

And something something sex with sheep something, and so on.

 

[Kangaroo Feathers]

I am sorry you're having a hard time

I know there probably isn't much I can say in the way of ideas that would speak to the suffering you're feeling. I am sorry. I don't want to pretend I know more about your situation than I do, so I'll stop there.

Thanks. I'm working through it. Still in the acute shock phase. I'll be OK.

 

[Buddha Dharma]

Thanks. I'm working through it. Still in the acute shock phase. I'll be OK.

Alright, well if you ever want to talk about it- I'm willing to listen, and only give suggestions if you want them.

 

[Earthling]

Just in case you missed my edit: The advice about the CPAP machine is worth following up. My wife got one some years back and doesn't know how she managed without it.

Thanks, I'm going to look into that, especially since, though I can't use the device then, I will eventually have to have that surgery and I've been worried about the effects the anesthesiologist might have due to my apnea. I didn't even realize I had it until I had a colonoscopy recently and the anesthesiologist told me I should look into it.

 

[Estro Felino]

 

[Dawnofhope]

Yeah well, if New Zealand is such a real country, how come they have the wrong number of stars on their flag?

And something something sex with sheep something, and so on.

Good to see that fighting Australian albeit totally crass spirit