DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
What are you talking about ? She never suggested otherwise.
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"Real Housewives" star has new book that advocates marital rape
- Thread starter MysticSang'ha
- Start date
What are you talking about ? She never suggested otherwise.
Wherenextcolumbus
Well-Known Member
So you are not putting up fight because really you don't want to wash the dishes? but you have to wash the dishes right?
No one has to have sex with someone they don't want to have sex with at that time.
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
Because guess what..just like some others they don't consider it rape.even though it IS!
So if the "victim" herself considers it consensual rather than rape, how can anyone else assess the situation otherwise?
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Or perhaps she isn't being abused at all, Dallas, and her praising of Joe is legit? Have you ever considered that?
This is almost absurb. You're not an authority on the feelings, emotions and thoughts of other people.
I'm far more educated on the subject than I care to share with you.
Your's and it that your husband FH? Made in general statements that would not just pertain to this particular circumstance that are so *** backwards its scary.
If she was abused she "wouldn't do this" and if she were abused "he would't do that" ..All lies..
You are determining if you think she is abused or not ..or if he is an abuser or not based on lies.
Maybe he is maybe he isn't..your line of thinking though is based on lies.
To be fair, one can point to the Stuebenville OH rape case where the boys were taking pictures and sharing video of how a girl was passed out and what other boys were doing to her. They didn't see it as rape - maybe not REAL rape - but saw it more as a prank. And therefore wanted to share the prank for fun.
Not too long ago, there was a man who admitted on RF to marrying a 10 year old girl, and saw nothing wrong with it. He was very candid about his marriage, too. He didn't consider himself a rapist by any means, and was comfortable sharing his views on child marriage and how justifiable it is.
I don't think Joe Gorga saw anything problematic with what he wrote as advice for husbands. My stance is that it is most definitely problematic and ought to be highlighted as abhorrent. But it is possible that Joe engages in this behavior and sees nothing wrong with offering what he thinks works for him to the reading audience.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
When did she say it was "consentual"?
Besides their is "consent" under duress and consent NOT under duress.She is under duress..NO doubt..
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
[QUOTEHe didn't consider himself a rapist by any means, ][/QUOTE]
Of course not ..he loved her..
Of course not ..he loved her..
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Completely agreed..He has no idea how "most" think hes a rapist..he wouldn't "get it'..He just brags..He's "proud"..
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
I just googled this up: Real Housewives' Melissa Gorga: It's Disgusting That People Think I'm Promoting Marital Rape | E! Online
It's whats-her-face's response to the reaction toward those comments.
It's whats-her-face's response to the reaction toward those comments.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Look, I'm not arguing that forcing sex is wrong and that we have the right as individuals to refuse. We're on the same page.
But, I can tell you that there's sometimes a dynamic between a married couple, when sex is viewed as something given to one another freely. The "fight" may not be a fight in the sense that you're imagining. The sex is still consentual.
I didn't love my ex husband. And it was very hard having sex with him for that reason. He often bugged me for it and I often didn't want it but would give in. NEVER did I liken this to rape, as I was his wife. It was never done forcefully. It was more of an annoyance when he bugged me.
The "fight" wasn't an objection in the sense that I was being violated or feared being violated. We had a certain comfort level with each other to where that just wasn't an issue. And though there were deeper issues as to why I didn't enjoy sex with him, my reasons for not wanting sex were usually quite practical - I was exhausted - I had to get up too early the next morning.
Perhaps I can look at this from another perspective because I'm far from being a push over. I won't give it if it's something that I'm not comfortable with. But, I totally get the dynamic of a married couple and their trust. You may not be in the mood, but when there's love and trust (or an assemblance of it, as was the case with my ex husband), rape would never cross your mind unless that trust was broken and something violent happened.
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dawny0826
Mother Heathen
As I suspected. But, of course, she would know less about her life than some of us here would.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
As I suspected. But, of course, she would know less about her life than some of us here would.
But you know.. even though you don't even care. Remember?
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Bull ****, Dallas. I've told you that I don't know with certainty what her personal circumstances are. How many times do you want me to reiterate this?
My husband isn't projecting anymore than you are.
I'm not even going to pretend to understand what you're getting at with "my way of thinking" being based on lies.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
As I suspected, but did not claim with certainty.
Further, I explained to you what I meant by not caring, in a particular context. Remember?
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Her response is putting her husband first. And that marriage works when people put their spouses first.
The disconnect is where there doesn't seem to be an acknowledgement from Melissa Gorga that her husband puts her first too. And where he was quoted, if taken out of context, I don't think she really addressed exactly how it was taken out of context, except that this type of practice is what works in their marriage. Not how her husband doesn't actually rape her (and here's why as to what I said elsewhere or Joe said elsewhere in the book, which I would have expected her to explain if she wanted to refute it).
I don't think she fully addressed it except to say she's disgusted by the accusations. What does she have to back it up by how her husband respects her?
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Melissa admits to being one who submits to her husband.
She's not obligated to refute unfair insinuations. She has stated that she does not advocate marital rape. This either is or isn't enough for folks.
It would be nice if people would read her book and absorb the full context of what she's projecting about her own marriage. If I thought I could stomach it, at this point, I'm tempted to read the dang thing.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Exactly ..Where is the "mutuaL"...???where is she ever saying "I get mine"?She just goes on and on and on and on about Joe getting his...then defends him...
Why doesn't his *** stand up and say to love a woman as Christ loves his bride?Which is the MANS command!
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
WHERE is the other side??????Submit to what? A piece of trash?Where is the other side?
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Some women are okay with the concept of submitting to their husbands and living in a patriarch-focused household.
This may not be a comfortable or healthy concept to me or to you.
I have to accept the possibility that I could be wrong in assuming that a woman in such a marriage, couldn't be content.