"Real Housewives" star has new book that advocates marital rape

[DallasApple]

Its understandable to be angry for not having sex in a certain frequency, her frequency was obviously different from his.

No Im talking about him being angry AT HER.Should she then be ANGRY at him he wants more sex more than she does?Then they can be ANGRY at each other? How about being ANGRY at the person for choosing to dress the way they want verses the way you want them too?How about lets get ANGRY at your spouse because you enjoy the outdoors and they like to stay inside more..And you are angry because they wont just give you what you want!

I WANT to go swimming with you ...well I dont feel like getting wet...

:fight: GO SWIMMING WITH ME!

 

[Me Myself]

I've been married 25 years and I have been on the receiving end of this anger.(we have worked it out now) but that entitlement and anger he had turned our sex life into a nightmare..he turned our "differences" into complete dysfunction with that attitude.

Me Myself you said it ..its a difference in wants.That is why its not something to get "angry" at the person over.You can be dissapointed that is one thing.But angry?

You shouldn't get angry at someone ..or lets say its not productive or fair that they don't want the exact same thing you do.

If I wanted my husband to wear a wedding ring but it makes him uncomfortable physically he does not like wearing any jewelry. Should I be "angry" at him for not wearing it because he didn't do what I wanted? No.. but it seems according to some it would be "understandable" if I was moody and we got into "huge fights" every single day because he still wasn't doing what i wanted.

Lets not make this a semantic thing.

Stressed, moody and upset were the words used. In any case, the thing is people dont like to have less sex than the amount they like to have.

I have said nothing about the huge fights, that you are saying. It happens though. Ultimately, anything that upsets one of them in an increasing degree and is not talked over in a mature manner will be a problem and will make fights happen over apparently other things.

Being moody makes it easy to fight over nothing. As far as we know, he didnt even know it , nor he would admit she had such a hold over his emotions.

 

[DallasApple]

Stressed, moody and upset were the words used.

HUGE fights.

 

[Me Myself]

No Im talking about him being angry AT HER.Should she then be ANGRY at him he wants more sex more than she does?Then they can be ANGRY at each other? How about being ANGRY at the person for choosing to dress the way they want verses the way you want them too?How about lets get ANGRY at your spouse because you enjoy the outdoors and they like to stay inside more..And you are angry because they wont just give you what you want!

I WANT to go swimming with you ...well I dont feel like getting wet...

:fight: GO SWIMMING WITH ME!

being qngry is normal. I think you are making a correlation of degrees of displeasure with words like moody angry or upset, and we dont know them because she never said specifically what happened.

The less ambiguous thing she said is that they fought more often, but I doubt a lot they were fighting consciously about that. It sounded like she noticed he was more moody when he didnt had sex that often. Not that he deliberately fought with her saying you must give me sex woman in an angry tone of voice.

That would of course be wrong. Yelling and name callings are not constructive way of discussing issues.

 

[Me Myself]

HUGE fights.

We dont know what "huge " means for her

I tell you I had a huge meal you may think its a whole big pizza maybe they were two whole family size pizzas or two slices.

I am sorry but "huge" is not specific at all.

 

[DallasApple]

As far as we know, he didnt even know it , nor he would admit she had such a hold over his emotions.

He "currently" FIGHTS her into sex Me Myself and I...

It doesn't seem so much she has hold over his emotions..He seems to have very poor control over them let alone how he responds to them.Sounds to me more like its her role to try and help him regulate his emotional instability and outburst. Like buying a kid a toy in the store because they are having a bratty meltdown over it to get them to calm down so you can finish your shopping.

She also flat out by the way said she married her daddy.And I think she has her own issues as far as that.Her father left her mother and her when she was a teenager.I think his personality was similar to Joe's..and now she is doing everything she can to "keep" him happy so he wont leave her.She is willing to "take" a lot so that wont happen again.

 

[DallasApple]

being qngry is normal.

Its not "healthy" to get angry anytime you don't get what you want.

Talk about 'stress relief" ..being angry all the time is not good for your physical health. And its not fair for those around you to stress them out along with your anger.

 

[DallasApple]

I am sorry but "huge" is not specific at all.

To me its telling because I have seen some of his fights.

 

[Me Myself]

He "currently" FIGHTS her into sex Me Myself and I...

It doesn't seem so much she has hold over his emotions..He seems to have very poor control over them let alone how he responds to them.Sounds to me more like its her role to try and help him regulate his emotional instability and outburst. Like buying a kid a toy in the store because they are having a bratty meltdown over it to get them to calm down so you can finish your shopping.

It sounds to me that way too, thoughh if he is that unatable then she does have a great hold on his emotions, eventhough not a very refuned one and in such a chaotic personality thats not at all necessarily a good thing.

Aour fighting her into sex, you very well put the quote marks because we dont know how those go. I ve been fought into sex before by the same woman that told me I should just "take whatI want" and be less gentle sometimes.

I am not saying he is an angel nor do I have ANY reason to believe he is one, I am just saying a simple fact:

We.Dont. Know

Its not "healthy" to get angry anytime you don't get what you want.

Talk about 'stress relief" ..being angry all the time is not good for your physical health. And its not fair for those around you to stress them out along with your anger.

Being angey in general is not healthy. The cause does not change the fact the body does not process anger well.

Also, stressing pele around you when you are angry is hardly a choice, if she cares, she will be stressed, the same the other way around (notice I used "if" I dont know nor can know if he cares)

To me its telling because I have seen some of his fights.

Of their fights? Fights between them? Hw were they? Could you describe them to me? (I didnt even heard of them before this thread )

 

[DallasApple]

Her response is putting her husband first. And that marriage works when people put their spouses first.

The disconnect is where there doesn't seem to be an acknowledgement from Melissa Gorga that her husband puts her first too. And where he was quoted, if taken out of context, I don't think she really addressed exactly how it was taken out of context, except that this type of practice is what works in their marriage. Not how her husband doesn't actually rape her (and here's why as to what I said elsewhere or Joe said elsewhere in the book, which I would have expected her to explain if she wanted to refute it).

I don't think she fully addressed it except to say she's disgusted by the accusations. What does she have to back it up by how her husband respects her?

Looking at it again? Yeah all she says is "that word disgusts her" and that's not what he meant..She seems to struggle with even saying the word "rape" ? She didn't even repeat the entire quote either...she left out the rip her clothes off part...

And this...

"I think that when you put your husband first and your partner first, whoever first, you will be first in their lives as well."

Why does it seem like its difficult for her to say 'and put your wife first"..?There is putting the husband first or the "partner" and then there is "whoever"

She needs a speech writer because her "defense" to the reaction people had to his words (and hers) didn't really clear anything up.

 

[DallasApple]

She also said they were talking about their marriage and just offering tips...UM NO...

Quote:
Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated."

That is not a "tip' based on their marital success..

Telling men what every woman wants..and then telling them what to do about it is not a "tip" based on what works in their marriage..

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Looking at it again? Yeah all she says is "that word disgusts her" and that's not what he meant..She seems to struggle with even saying the word "rape" so how do we even know that is what she meant? She didn't even repeat the entire quote either...she left out the rip her clothes off part...

And this...



Why does it seem like its difficult for her to say 'and put your wife first"..?There is putting the husband first or the "partner" and then there is "whoever"

She needs a speech writer because her "defense" to the reaction people had to his words (and hers) didn't really clear anything up.

I saw the same thing. I wasn't convinced that he responds in kind to her attempts at putting him first, or that he honors her wishes and gives her what she wants.

Unless all she wants is a house, pop out some kids, and star on a reality tv show. I dunno if that's the case.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

How did he manage to live so long without hearing/smelling his own excrement? :areyoucra

Maybe it's different when he does it. I've known people who could stand their own **** but hate others....it's the old "my **** don't stink" attitude at play without the metaphor.

 

[DallasApple]

If I was her agent ? I would have seriously written her a speech..

That said: First of all we are sorry that we have offended many women out there by saying point blank they want to be dominated at all let alone by having there clothes ripped off when they say no to sex. And that they all want their hair pulled.We have learned since that believing and stating that was narrow minded and its not actually true.We would like to retract that statement.

2nd of all... Joe has never raped me.I have never been forced or coerced into sex.We are very sorry our poorly written book gave that impression.

 

[DallasApple]

Unless all she wants is a house, pop out some kids, and star on a reality tv show. I dunno if that's the case.

Could be..that's why I don't give it more than 10 years...Can't pop out kids forever and reality shows end. + he might lose his job because women are in the position to hire and fire him...

 

[DallasApple]

I saw the same thing. I wasn't convinced that he responds in kind to her attempts at putting him first, or that he honors her wishes and gives her what she wants.

She says she was talking about "mutual" respect..and "loyalty"..

I wish I was interviewer..because I would have asked her how is it "loyalty" that you are worried you might lose favor in his eyes if there is any evidence you took a **** that day?

How is it "respectful' TO you ..that you have to LEAVE the house to go to the bathroom for fear of his reaction that he "knows" you actually are a human being that poops?

The contrast flips in my brain..On the one hand this "just is" acceptance of sudden instinctual animalistic throw down sex with "aggression" on the mans part..that she "wants" ...but then she tippy toes away hiding the fact she needs to take a dump like every animal does sex or not...because that's "gross"?

Sounds like hes the prissy sensitive one..I'm far from impressed.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I remember when a guy told me women would be perfect if they didn't poo

 

[DallasApple]

I remember when a guy told me women would be perfect if they didn't poo

Hmm...I bet he will have a long term healthy happy marriage with every one gathered round his bed as he takes his last breath seriously sad he is leaving the earth..

 

[Me Myself]

Hmm...I bet he will have a long term healthy happy marriage with every one gathered round his bed as he takes his last breath seriously sad he is leaving the earth..

So you do make conclusions on people knowing only one phrase the ever said.

Then again, it is a very common mistake.

 

[Me Myself]

How did he manage to live so long without hearing/smelling his own excrement? :areyoucra

I have a strong gag reflex with people's puke, and With excrement and also had it withh my excrement since before I was a veg. When I turned veg, it was gone with mine cause... Well, it doesnt smell bad now

I just didnt watch or didnt watch for long, cleaned and threw repeatedly and looked aby the third swipe when there is alst nothing to see.

I seriously doubt thats his thing though, for what I understand they make it very clear that there are women stuff and men stuff.