Reflections of a Bipolar Multiple (Replies welcome)

[SearchingForGod]

[Replies and questions are welcome in this journal! It feels better than just talking to thin air.]

So I just got finished talking with my rabbi and I must say that I heard everything that I needed to hear in that exact moment. I opened up about some pretty rough stuff with him (I almost cried), got called out on a question I asked a local imam (apparently they talked about me, oops), and had a big discussion about discrimination and prejudice with him.

I'm most surprised that he didn't get annoyed with me when it came to me mentioning my search in my faith journey. It's rather difficult for me since each personality part of mine has differing beliefs (I have OSDD-1) and we're all trying to find a middle point. Not only that, but being bipolar makes my instability on this search even worse. But he smiled and said that it was all okay. He's not going to judge me for searching like I am, and that is the kind of validation that I truly needed to hear right now, because this isn't easy. It's very very hard and trying. But I'm going to get through this one day at a time. I just need to have patience with myself and know that I have my entire life to make a decision on where I need to be.

Now here's to hoping that I can start being mindful enough to actually capture my thoughts and not have them race around inside of my head.

 

[Spiderman]

I'm bipolar too. Renounce, reject, and don't focus on any thoughts that destroy your peace, rob you of energy, cause fear, anxiety, depression, etc.

Take authority with God over your thoughts. Praise your God in the midst of trials. You can win victory! Watch and be careful what you focus on.

 

[CogentPhilosopher]

Question: Can I make a reply that may call into question some of your beleifs?

This is a journal so I thought it would be best to ask first.

 

[SearchingForGod]

Question: Can I make a reply that may call into question some of your beleifs?

This is a journal so I thought it would be best to ask first.

Sure thing!

 

[CogentPhilosopher]

Sure thing!

Ok here is my problem with this.

The symptoms that you purport to have are not the symptoms of any psycholgical disorder.

The claims of the people in the mutiples movement are not backed by science but rather psuedoscience. And they say that they do not actually have mental disorders while you claim that you do.

 

[David T]

This is a very tough topic because of the science/religion bi-polarity that's rather dominate in culture. Getting out of culture, with some long quiet time hiking in the wilderness, getting reaquainted with the other life forms that i share this thing called life with, and resetting how I was taught to think from a young lad, did it for me. I think if you read john Muir a bit this is what he is alluding to in his writings a lot. Culture can easily spin certain people out, while others seem to thrive in the mess. Neurology is spectrum.

 

[David T]

Ok here is my problem with this.

The symptoms that you purport to have are not the symptoms of any psycholgical disorder.

The claims of the people in the mutiples movement are not backed by science but rather psuedoscience. And they say that they do not actually have mental disorders while you claim that you do.

Until 1974 the exact same group of "scientists" that you are talking about had homo sexuality classified as a mental disorder. Did they suddenly get genius over the last 40 years? Here is the stupid part of general psychology it's identical to theology. The term points to a fallacy of psychology that William James was concerned about in the late 1800's. The fallacy is you can't literally study the psyche without projection which is a product of reductionism which itself is a mental disorder when applied to ones self. Absolutely nutty. 99% of all " mental disorders are rooted in neurosis not difficult very real. Jung stated it correctly 100 years ago for petes sake.

 

[CogentPhilosopher]

Until 1974 the exact same group of "scientists" that you are talking about had homo sexuality classified as a mental disorder. Did they suddenly get genius over the last 40 years? Here is the stupid part of general psychology it's identical to theology. The term points to a fallacy of psychology that William James was concerned about in the late 1800's. The fallacy is you can't literally study the psyche without projection which is a product of reductionism which itself is a mental disorder when applied to ones self. Absolutely nutty. 99% of all " mental disorders are rooted in neurosis not difficult very real. Jung stated it correctly 100 years ago for petes sake.

Woohoo emotional argumentation of the win! Come on your better than this.

Believe it or not the psychologists of 1947 are not the same psychologists around today.

By your logic because in early biology they thought that speciation did not occur that all biology is wrong now.

No psychology is not indentical to theology. All that assertions shows is that you do not have a firm understanding of such topics.

That's a logical fallacy? Wow I never heard of it. I would love to see where you got that logical fallacy from...If you just made it up then congratulations that is a logical fallacy.

Hey guess what....Jung was a psycholgist that advocated for racial memory and he had a lot of works that where not based in evidence.

If you want me to take your reply more seriously and civilly next time. I would recommend using your frontal lobes rather than your amygdala and address me civilly.

 

[David T]

Woohoo emotional argumentation of the win! Come on your better than this.

Believe it or not the psychologists of 1947 are not the same psychologists around today.

By your logic because in early biology they thought that speciation did not occur that all biology is wrong now.

No psychology is not indentical to theology. All that assertions shows is that you do not have a firm understanding of such topics.

That's a logical fallacy? Wow I never heard of it. I would love to see where you got that logical fallacy from...If you just made it up then congratulations that is a logical fallacy.

Hey guess what....Jung was a psycholgist that advocated for racial memory and he had a lot of works that where not based in evidence.

If you want me to take your reply more seriously and civilly next time. I would recommend using your frontal lobes rather than your amygdala and address me civilly.

You actually literally didnt say anything with a whole lot of empty words. I intentionally stated the stated to point out projection which is the entire history of psychology/psychiatry especially and particularly Freud. Projection is undergirded by the philosophical fantasy that developed in Europe that we call reductionism. We are not talking about car engines Mr. objective. If you want to talk about car engines we can I actually understand mechanical systematic reductive thinking far more clearly than you do it's actually my job. When that is applied in context to the psyche it instantly is projection and a joke. That mechanical reductive view has zero validity in discussion of the psyche. In regards to psychology being different from theology evolutionarily is like two different types of red apples on the same branch of the same tree not much different not even a different species. And no it's the exact same psychology as it was in 1947 they thought they were really different from previous generations as well. Evolution is obviously not your strong point.

 

[SearchingForGod]

Ok here is my problem with this.

The symptoms that you purport to have are not the symptoms of any psycholgical disorder.

The claims of the people in the mutiples movement are not backed by science but rather psuedoscience. And they say that they do not actually have mental disorders while you claim that you do.

Oh! When you were talking about calling my beliefs into question, I thought you meant my religious beliefs. Oh well, this is still fine.

If you'll notice, I didn't exactly go into each and every last detail of my symptoms. This is what may have lead to some confusion. If we looked at that, you would be able to see that I qualify for both diagnoses and actually have been diagnosed by several mental health professionals.

I'm more high functioning and am currently medicated as well, so more severe symptoms might not show up like they stereotypically would in another person. Nevertheless, both of these conditions do affect my daily life in their own way. You are free to disbelieve if you would like, but this is just how I make sense of my experiences. And I bring them up not for any random reason, but simply because both of these conditions seem to be interacting with my faith seeking journey. So if I bring either of these things up again (and I likely will) then you'll know why.

Feel free to ask me any more questions if I've left anything unclear!

God bless,
SFG

 

[CogentPhilosopher]

You actually literally didnt say anything with a whole lot of empty words.

Don't lie to me.

This conversation is over.

 

[David T]

Don't lie to me.

This conversation is over.

He back to me after you have hiked a thousand days In the wild. We can carry on an adult dialog.

 

[SearchingForGod]

I like cats.

 

[SearchingForGod]

Today I went to a Holocaust Museum and I gotta say it was quite the experience... I literally have no words to describe my thoughts right now.

 

[SearchingForGod]

The other day I went to a bookstore to look up books on managing bipolar disorder, and I came across a book called The Tao of Bipolar. I've explored Taoism in the past and liked it, so I decided to pick up the book and give it a quick read. It was very educational and I think the most important thing that I read in it was that you shouldn't try to force anything, but let it just be and observe it as it is. This was with reference to moods and mindfulness, but I think the same could be said regarding my religious search. I shouldn't try forcing myself to fit into one particular box, but rather I should just let myself be and see what happens from there.

I've been doing that for a few days now and I must say that things have felt so much more peaceful for me these past few days. The lack of pressure on myself has helped me to clear my mind some more and focus on other things that I enjoy. I'm still on my search to find what place will be right for me, but until I find that place, I think I'm going to try and take a Taoist approach to this whole matter.